Vengeance (SSU Trilogy Book 1) (18 page)

He’d always known that some day he’d face Alvarez. The crime lord was the last name on Kai’s retribution list. The one who’d ordered the attack on Kai’s family. Maybe now was the time to stop running and finish his vengeance.

Chapter 14

Thursday, Night

Rocky Mountains, Montana

Niko stared at the television screen without seeing the images. Instead, he saw the panic on Jenna’s face after he’d attacked her.

He massaged the scar on his biceps. Jesus, he felt like a shit. Jenna’s medical file said she was psychologically stable. Her trainers said they’d eliminated her fear response to her physical triggers.

Wrong.

Niko pushed off of the couch and went to look out the window again. Almost two hours ago, Jenna had risen from the lawn and walked into the forest at the edge of his property, Callie at her heels.

And even though this was exactly the kind of scenario he hoped would convince Jenna to give up her search for her brother, he didn’t like that she hadn’t come back yet. The only reason he hadn’t gone after her was that he was afraid of making things worse.

He’d attacked a woman.

Shit.

If Jenna didn’t give up now, he’d have to do it again, and again, becoming more vicious with each attack until she understood she didn’t belong in this world. Until she understood that the only way to stay alive was to stay here and let Niko find her brother.

But Christ, talk about shooting himself in the foot. Last night he’d received an e-mail from Alvarez containing another set of photos of Aunt Madalena, and a request for an update on his search for Paterson. This morning Gascon called with the news that he’d found Alvarez’s location, but when he investigated further, he discovered Alvarez had moved Aunt Madalena hours before he arrived.

The dead last thing he should be doing was scaring Jenna away. If Paterson did surface and he couldn’t flush the man into the open, he might still need her as bait.

Niko spun away from the window and headed toward the hallway, shutting off the television as he passed. He needed another workout. This time he’d try the pool. See if he could drown his burst of panic at the thought of Jenna falling into Alvarez’s hands.

Aunt Madalena was all that should matter.

#

An hour later Jenna let herself into the house. She was exhausted despite the fact that she’d cried herself to sleep in the woods, cuddled up to Callie. Thank God the dog had stayed with her, because she’d never have made it safely back in the dark without the Border Collie’s guidance.

Now all she wanted was a shower and her bed. Callie trotted ahead of her and detoured into the kitchen, but Jenna didn’t even care that she’d missed dinner. As she walked down the hallway, the door that led to the underground walkway connecting the house to the training facility opened and Niko stepped through.

His hair was damp and despite the towel around his neck, rivulets of water streaked his light blue t-shirt. “Hey, you’re back,” he said. “You okay?”

She nodded. “I’m sorry I panicked,” she said. “It won’t happen again. I’ll be better tomorrow.”

Niko shook his head. “This afternoon proved you’re not cut out for this. I’m not training you any further.”

“Hell no.” Her hands clenched into fists. “Don’t you see? My panic attack makes it more important than ever that you work with me.” She took a deep breath. “Believe it or not, Grayson and the other trainers got me to the point where I didn’t panic in that position. I…” She shrugged. What could she tell Niko? That the timing of his attack had been the problem?

Right. That would go over well.
“Gee, Niko, your attack caught me at a particularly vulnerable moment. See, because I was lusting after your body, the first time I’ve felt desire like that since I was raped, my emotional defenses were down when you hit me. So when I found myself on my belly with your knife at my throat, the memories came roaring back.”

She almost snorted. Not good enough. She should have immediately shut down her sexual reaction to Niko. Then his attack would have been just another training incident. But really, how was she supposed to know Niko would attack instantly? Or that he had a knife on him?

Wait a second.

She narrowed her eyes. “You were working out without a shirt and there was no way you had a weapon under those flimsy shorts. Where’d the knife come from?”

“I’m always armed, or have a weapon within reach. The knife was under my towel.”

Huh.

“I’m still a bit edgy around knives,” she admitted. “You can help me overcome that.”

“What part of ‘I’m not training you any further’ didn’t you understand?” Niko snapped. “You left the compound thinking you were ready to bring in your brother. Now you’ve suddenly realized it won’t be so easy and you want my help. Tough shit. You’re not confident? Stay here. Let the pros handle this. Let me bring in your brother.”

Jenna took a deep breath. “Stop trying to get me to back down. Ryker texted me earlier. We’re in this together or you lose your job.”

Niko scowled.

“But I guess you didn’t count on me finding out the details of your assignment.” She shot him a smug smile.

Niko sighed and muttered something angry in Greek. “You’re right,” he said. “Ryker overrode my protests. He wants us to stick together.”

He crossed his arms over his chest. “So. This is the way it’s going down. You’ll continue to work with me to find your brother. Then we’ll go after him. Together. We’ll let you be seen in safe, controlled locations where there’s minimal danger. Situations where you won’t need any better fighting skills than you already have.”

Jenna started to protest, but Niko cut her off with an impatient motion of his hand. “Do you really understand the danger? If Alvarez’s men or any of the other players searching for your brother get their hands on you, they won’t be gentle. They’ll hurt you and make it public, counting on your brother to come out of hiding to save you. Hell, if someone grabbed my sister and hurt her, I’d walk over coals to get her back.”

Jenna locked her knees against a wave of grief. Kai didn’t care enough to save her. Not any more. If he’d had his way, she’d already be dead.

No one was stopping her from going after Kai. Particularly not Niko.

Callie, sensing the tension between her master and Jenna, whined and slunk from the room.

“What happens if you die?” Jenna asked, and had the satisfaction of watching him flinch. “I can’t stay here forever. Ryker says it’s not safe for me at the SSU compound. Alvarez or someone else will get me unless I’m stronger. Train me. Help me regain my detachment.”

Niko sucked in a sharp breath, then let it hiss out between clenched teeth. “I’ll spar with you to keep your skills current, but I’m not fucking teaching you how to smother your emotions like some goddamn assassin, got it?”

“What I get is that you’re a narrow-minded, chauvinist bastard,” she shot back.

Niko moved in close, the dark intensity of his expression making her take a step back. She licked her lips. Her fear this morning hadn’t been all about memories. She’d been frightened of Niko. Of the cold, lethal side to him she’d only seen a glimpse of and never expected to have turned against her.

Niko snorted and shook his head. “Look at you. I barely invaded your space just now and you stepped back. Hell, the night we arrived here, you flinched when I reached out to touch your cheek.”

He took another step forward, but Jenna’s back was against the wall. So she raised her chin and centered herself, preparing for an attack.

“I don’t care how much you’ve been trained. You’re still an innocent,” Niko told her.

He was so close she could feel his breath against her face. Smell the slightly spicy, slightly salty scent of his skin. And her fear melted away under a wash of heat.

Oh, God, not again! Why couldn’t she look away from the full bottom curve of his lip? Why did she have to imagine what his lip would feel like under her tongue?

Niko’s dark eyes held hers as he bent closer, bringing his mouth to her ear. She shivered as he breath caressed the sensitive lobe.

“Stay innocent, Jenna. Don’t enter my world. Don’t put yourself in a position where you have to kill. It will destroy your soul.”

She shook her head. His warning was pointless. Her soul had been destroyed the night of the attack.

“Too late.” If he didn’t agree to train her, it was time for her to leave.

“You’re really determined to see this through?” Niko demanded.

Jenna nodded. And this time when he attacked, she was ready for him. His arm came up, aiming for her windpipe, but she blocked it with her forearm. She followed up by stomping on his foot and shoving her palm toward his nose.

He spun easily away, turning to face her with his hands out in a placating gesture. His eyes searched hers.

She let her anger and determination fill her and willed Niko to understand. “I will do this,” she said. “With or without your help. I don’t have a choice.”

Finally, after a long, tense moment, Niko nodded.

#

Niko wasn’t surprised when Jenna’s screams shattered the midnight quiet. Hell, after what had happened that afternoon, he’d been expecting her nightmares to return. He closed Kai Paterson’s file and stood up from his desk. No matter how many times he scoured the information, he still didn’t have a lead on the man’s location.

Another scream echoed through the house. The dogs nosed at the office door, whining to get out. To be allowed to go and comfort Jenna.

Like he wanted to. But couldn’t.

Niko clenched his hands into fists. He had Jenna right where he needed her. Scared. With any luck, tomorrow she’d back down and give up the hunt.

So the worst thing he could do tonight would be to open the door and take the stairs to the upper level two at a time. But damn if he didn’t find himself outside of Jenna’s room, hand on the doorknob. He could hear her gasping. Hear little mewls of fear.

If you open that door, you better be prepared to rub her face in the fact that even in sleep she’s falling apart. Don’t you fucking offer her comfort or sympathy.

Niko yanked open the door and strode inside. He slapped the light on, then cursed.

Jenna’s hands pushed frantically at the covers, desperately trying to free herself of the tangled sheets. Her eyes were squeezed shut in a face twisted with agony. Tears coursed down her cheeks. Her lips moved silently, begging for help, for the pain to stop. Animal cries of distress broke free of her throat and burrowed deep into Niko’s soul.

Goddamn it, he couldn’t let her suffer like this. It tore him apart. There was no way he could use this against her.

“Jenna, you’re alright,” he crooned. “You’re dreaming. Wake up, Jenna. You’re safe.” He reached the bed and knelt beside her, keeping up a steady stream of reassurances. But she was too caught up in the dream to notice.

He grabbed her hands in one of his. Then, while she fought him, he yanked the covers free and pulled her into his arms. He shifted so that his back was to the bed and let her full weight settle on his lap. “Shh. You’re safe. You’re safe. Wake up, Jenna.”

Gradually her body relaxed and she stopped fighting him. But she didn’t wake up. Just sighed and slipped into a quiet sleep.

Niko let his cheek rest against her hair as he held her. Dammit, his own cheeks were damp. He no longer woke to his own nightmares each time he slept, but even after ten years the horror of what he’d endured, what he’d done undercover to convince Alvarez he could be trusted, still haunted him at his weakest moments.

He’d always fought the nightmares alone. Yeah, his family supported him, but he’d never been able to reach out. There’d been too much shame. Too much he couldn’t forgive himself for. Too much he didn’t want his family to know in case it caused them nightmares as well.

So he’d struggled through on his own.

Jenna didn’t have a loving family behind her. He tightened his arms around her and rocked her gently. And even though he knew it undermined his goal of getting her to leave the hunt for her brother, he vowed that she wouldn’t have to suffer through another nightmare alone. Not while under his roof.

#

Sunday, Morning

Rocky Mountains, Montana

For the third morning in a row, Jenna awoke in Niko’s arms. This morning they were in the rocking chair in the corner of her bedroom. As before, she was sitting on Niko’s lap with her head on his chest and his arms encircling her. The dogs dozed at their feet.

That first morning, shame and embarrassment had swamped her. She’d been afraid to look in Niko’s eyes. Afraid of seeing pity. Instead, he’d acted like nothing unusual happened. Like he held women in the aftermath of nightmares all the time.

She’d come to relish these rare moments of quiet. Here in the haven of his arms, she wasn’t at odds with Niko. Here she felt safe. Cherished.

Not alone for the first time in years.

“Good morning.” Niko’s voice vibrated his chest under her ear. She started to pull back, but this morning he didn’t let her go. Instead, he tightened his arms and asked the question she’d been dreading.

“Jenna, what do you dream?”

She shook her head. No. She wouldn’t talk about it. She’d never talked about it. She’d tried to force herself not to remember, but when that failed, she’d made a vow she’d keep her shame and guilt locked inside.

So she pushed her hands against his chest, trying to break free.

But Niko’s arms had turned into an unbreakable cage. “You claim you’re strong enough to go after your brother,” he chided. “But your dreams prove otherwise. Until you deal with what’s in your head, you’ll always be in danger of falling apart. No amount of denial, of trying to run from the memories, of trying to dull the pain with exhaustion will help. You’ll keep on waking up screaming for mercy.”

He spoke so clearly about what she was going through that she jerked her head back and finally met his eyes. What she saw shocked her. A bone-deep understanding. Not pity. Not sympathy. Instead, she saw the echo of similar pain.