Victory Lane (Shady Falls #1) (16 page)

“Antonia,” Todd bellowed. I jumped at the sound of his voice. I didn’t think he would follow me in here. He had to have lost all rational thought. My dad hated him, so did Jake and Cade. He couldn’t do anything to me here. “Get your fuckin’ ass over here now. This ain’t over you stupid bitch. This is far from over.”

Before I could even move, Jake and Cade had Todd tackled to the ground. The fury rolling off them was even more frightening than Todd. Each one of them was bigger and stronger than Todd, and they hated him with a fiery passion. My father came up beside me and I flinched when he turned me toward him. At the sight of my flinch, he knew. He knew what I never told him before, what I never let him see. I was like an abused animal, quaking and timid.

“Antonia, babe, I’m sorry,” Todd shouted from where the brothers had him pinned to the ground. “Babe, please. Just talk to me. Please.”

I flinched again at his pleading. I couldn’t stand the sound of his voice. He always apologized; he always brought me flowers and would be sweet after. But his apologies and pleading just made me sick.

“What did he do to you?” my dad whispered.

I didn’t say a word, just launched myself into his protective arms. The adrenaline rush I felt driving here was leaving my trembling body, making me weak. I sobbed, unable to speak. I felt like I was going to be sick. Dad said something to Jake and Cade before lifting me up and carrying me to his office. He placed me gently on my feet just in time for me to propel myself across the room toward the garbage can and expel everything in my stomach. My dad came and stood behind me, holding me up and holding my hair until the last of the heaves stopped. When he was sure I was okay, he led me to the couch and sat silently next to me for a few moments. We could hear the shouts and arguing echoing from the garage.

Gently, my dad smoothed my hair back from my face and looked closely at me. His eyes drifted down my face to my throat and then to my sleeveless arms. The murderous look was back when he gently pushed me forward and lifted the back of my shirt revealing my back. He sucked in an audible breath and I knew what he saw. Todd had slammed my car more times than I could remember. He choked me. I could only imagine the marks on my arms, neck, and back from his abuse. Tomorrow I would be a bruised mess.

My dad slid my shirt back into place and we sat in silence for another moment. I could hear his labored breathing and knew he was trying to control his fury. I didn’t know what to say or do. When push came to shove, my dad had tried to make me as strong and independent as a single dad could. He was a great role model. When my mother was alive, he treated us both as if we were the greatest gifts he was ever given. He stood by her side and held her hand through chemo, through surgeries to remove the cancer, and everything else she endured through her fight. But through it all, he was a rock for me. And he didn’t raise me to stand by and allow someone to treat me the way Todd had been treating me for a year now. I didn’t know what had happened to me or how I allowed myself to fall into this trap, but now I was clawing my way back out,  I wasn’t about to ever go back.

“Toni,” he whispered. “Why? How? I don’t even know where to begin …” It was clear he was at a loss for what to say.

I sighed and tried to calm myself down. “I … I don’t know,” I staggered out. “It all just got away from me. I’m s-sorry, Daddy.” Tears renewed themselves and spilled down my cheeks.

He wrapped his enormous arms around my trembling body. “Oh honey, it ain’t your fault. You didn’t do anything wrong.” He smoothed his hand over my hair, calming me.

Moments later the door burst open and Fred, Jake, and Cade burst in. Jake and Cade both looked murderous, and Fred just looked upset. But when they saw my dad and me, all of the anger expelled out of them.

“Where is he?” my dad growled low in his throat. I knew he was barely keeping it together and I hoped Todd was gone because I would never forgive myself if my dad did something that got him in trouble.

“Officer Burke came and got him. He took him to the station,” Fred said.

They all looked down at me as I pulled out of my dad’s embrace. With the sound of their gasps, I knew the moment they noticed the red marks on my arms or throat. I hadn’t realized how tightly Todd had grabbed me, but I had red marks and scratches on both arms, probably from fighting him when he tried stopping me from leaving.

Jake and Cade were in front of me in a flash, both of them staring in horror at me. “Fuck Toni, did he do this to you?” Cade bellowed. He gently placed his finger on the side of my neck and traced what I could only imagine was a red path to my throat.

“Of course he did,” Jake said, barely containing his fury. “He told us he tried to stop her from leaving. Obviously he tried to stop her physically.” Jake paused for a moment, “He’s fuckin’ lucky Burke came, otherwise we’d be digging a fuckin’ hole to throw him in right now.”

“Alright boys, enough,” Dad said. “I’m takin’ her to the hospital, I want to have her looked at.” My dad looked at me and I saw him age before my eyes. He was terrified for me. I could see it.

“No, Dad. I’m okay.” I wanted to put on a shirt to hide everything. I wanted to hide from the world. Out of sight, out of mind.

He just shook his head. His voice firm, he said, “No, we’re goin’ to the hospital.”

When we got to the hospital, Jake and Cade’s mother, Dottie, and my best friend, Mia, were waiting for us.

One of the twins must have called ahead, because Mia said nothing about the way I looked or the bruises all over me, she only pulled me into a tight hug. Next, Dottie wrapped her arms around me and held me tight to her. She had done everything she could to be a mother figure for me after we lost my mom.

I could feel her fury and sadness through the hug and I felt terrible for disappointing yet another person. She pulled away and looked into my eyes, searching for something, what, I didn’t know. It seemed she made a decision, because she pulled me down and whispered, “It’s not your fault.” Those four simple words caused a storm to erupt in me. Tears built in my eyes again. But it was my fault. I didn’t say anything; just let the tears slide down my cheeks. Her warmth and caring jabbed my heart and made me feel even more exposed than I did before.

I wanted to believe it wasn’t my fault, I did. But after being told everything was my fault for so long, I wasn’t sure if I could believe. I just desperately wanted to move on and forget it ever happened.

Together, my dad, Dottie, and I walked to the counter in the emergency room.

“How can I help you?” the nurse asked.

Before I could speak, my father spoke for me, “My daughter was raped.”

I woke with a start to a hand smoothing itself over my side.

“Toni, are you okay?” a deep, smooth voice full of concern asked. I slowly opened my eyes and found myself lying on the couch next to Julius. My head was in his lap, his feet were propped on the coffee table, and he was lying back with his hand on my side. I liked the intimacy of the situation, but then I realized I was having another nightmare. Shit, I didn’t know what I may have said or done but the concern in his voice told me that I did something to raise alarms.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I whispered. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to fall asleep on you.” I slowly sat up, his hand, still on my side, slid across to the small of my back. I glanced over to him. His tight t-shirt was stretched taut across his muscled arm; the bottom of a tattoo that I couldn’t distinguish peaked further from under his sleeve. It was the most I’d seen of the illusive ink on his arm. I also noticed a hint of ink gracing the side of his neck, just a thin black line suggesting what could be beneath the cotton.

“You were having a nightmare,” he said quietly. “It sounded pretty intense.” He didn’t mention me falling asleep on him, only concerned about my nightmare.

“It was nothing,” I tried to convince him. I didn’t want him to know about Todd or my past.

“Who’s Todd?” Julius asked. He sat forward and looked at my face. Concern was in his eyes. “And what the hell did he do to you. You were begging him to stop.”

I just sat there stunned. He knew—he had to. I had no idea what I said or did during the dream, but clearly, it was far more than I ever realized. I needed to get out of there. I had to go and get as far away from Julius Fuller as I possibly could.

Julius’ strong arm moved around me, anchoring me to his side. His strength flowed through me and into me as he held me tight, comforting me. He rubbed his hand across the bare flesh on my arm, causing my heart to speed. It was then I realized two things. First, I had tears on my cheeks, and second, I woke up and I wasn’t afraid of him. Instead of fear, his arm felt comforting around me.

I didn’t feel violated or taken advantage of in any way; I felt safe. I never felt like this with anyone other than the twins and my dad. I didn’t understand why. All I knew was I wanted his warmth, his strength, and his kindness in my life. With his arm around me, feeling his warmth and feeling safe, I didn’t think I could ever just be this man’s friend. I was actually startled to find my attraction to him was as potent as it was. I hadn’t felt anything like this for anyone for so long, possibly ever, I was afraid I was broken. After that nightmare, I should still be broken. But I just didn’t feel that way with Julius’ arm wrapped around me. I felt grounded, almost whole again.

“Toni, talk to me. What was that? Who was he? What did he do to you?” his words were whispered as if he was afraid to break the silence that had fallen over the room. Like if he spoke any louder, I might disappear or shatter.

“I’m sorry; did I sleep on you all night?” I tried to change the subject. I didn’t want to talk about the dream. I didn’t want him to see how weak I was.

His lopsided grin was mischievous and heart stopping at the same time. His eyes flashed knowingly as his smile widened. I wanted to know the thoughts that provoked the look in his eyes. “Best night sleep I’ve had in a long time, until you woke up with that nightmare. Talk to me Toni, please.”

His concern made me feel so cared for. He truly sounded worried for me. But I couldn’t think like that. I couldn’t let my guard down.

“It was nothing, Julius. I’m fine. It was just a stupid dream.”

“Toni, I know it wasn’t just a stupid dream. You were thrashing about and crying hysterically, begging for this Todd to stop. Now you can hide from a lot of people, but you can’t hide from me. Talk to me, let me help you.”

“Look, I told you I had a rough time a while ago. I don’t want to rehash it. He’s gone, I left town, and it doesn’t matter anymore.” My tone was sharp. I was probably getting more annoyed than I needed to be, but I couldn’t help it. The last thing I wanted to do was to let Julius know how damaged I was.

He frowned slightly, making me worry that I pissed him off. He looked at me and his face was deadly serious. “You may think you’re over whatever this guy did to you, but you aren’t. Let me help you.”

“Maybe I don’t want your help, Julius. Maybe I just want to be left alone,” I snapped. I didn’t mean to be so harsh, but he wouldn’t drop it. “It’s no big deal. You act as if any of this is a big deal. It doesn’t mean anything. I don’t owe you anything and you certainly don’t owe me anything either.” I looked down, unable to make eye contact with him. I could hear his exasperated huff as he sat next to me.

He placed his finger on my chin and tilted my head up to look at him. I flinched, thinking I would see anger in his eyes after my little outburst. His brown eyes bore into mine. They were warm and caring, but serious. The thing that surprised me the most was there was no anger there. I could see the worry and hear the frustration in his voice, but anger didn’t mar his handsome face.

“It does mean something, Toni. I don’t wake up with women. I don’t spend time with them, take them to dinners, or talk to them. I don’t fly them on my plane, bring them into my personal space, and I definitely don’t let them use my leg as a pillow all night long. Most of all, I never worry about their dreams or nightmares or anything they have going on in their lives. But I’m concerned about
you
.”

“There’s nothing to concern yourself with, please just drop it.” My pleading voice came out as nothing more than a whisper into the silent room. A part of me wanted to open myself up to him and pour my soul out for him, but I couldn’t. It was bad enough that I caved and told Margie a little about my past, I couldn’t give Julius that power. If he knew too much, he could use it against me. If he knew too much, he would pity me. I didn’t want pity. I wanted equality. I wanted to be treated the same as the rest of the team. His attention unnerved me. It made me want other things. Things I knew I could never have, especially with him.

He let my chin go, but I continued to look into his eyes. I was completely out of my comfort zone. His words flowed over me and into me as I tried desperately to understand what was happening here. He heard my worst nightmare. He was worried about me, but he said he didn’t worry about anyone. He didn’t let girls in his world as he was letting me in. But it wasn’t his choice. Kyle was forcing my presence. It wasn’t as if Julius decided he wanted me there, I was there because of Kyle. I wanted to believe I was infiltrating a place no other women were let into because he actually wanted me there. But the more logical part, the part that couldn’t let me fall so hard for a man who could destroy me, told me this was because I was part of his team. It was a convenience and nothing more.