Vince and Joy (41 page)

‘Why not?’

‘Because we haven’t got a phone.’

‘What!’

‘Yes. I know.’ She pursed her lips. ‘George thinks that they’re an infringement of his privacy. He hates them. Therefore we don’t have one. And I’m not allowed personal calls at work.’

‘Jesus.’ Vince shook his head in numb disbelief. ‘Well, then, you’ll have to call me. Look,’ he said, scribbling his mobile number on to a napkin, ‘promise me you’ll stay in touch.’

‘Yes,’ she said, taking the napkin and staring at it, ‘but what about your girlfriend. Won’t she mind?’

‘Oh, God, no – not Jess. She’s thinks I’m a freak because I haven’t stayed in touch with any of my exes. She thinks it’s a character flaw’

‘So,’ she said, folding the napkin into her handbag. ‘Do you think I’m pathetic?’

‘Well, I can’t pretend to understand. I certainly don’t think you’re pathetic. But if you phone me in a month’s time and tell me that you’re still married to someone who keeps you imprisoned in your own home, who you don’t even
love,
then, yes, I might start thinking you’re a bit on the flaky side.’

She laughed and covered her face with her hands. ‘This is such great timing,’ she said, ‘bumping into you today. I’ve just been walking around London with all these thoughts in my head. I haven’t been able to make sense of anything. But really, it’s simple, isn’t it? I just leave.’

‘Yes,’ Vince nodded enthusiastically.

‘Because he’s just a man. And he’s not going to die and he’s not going to explode.’

‘He might even be glad.’

‘Yes. He might even be glad. And there’s nothing to be scared of.’

‘Nothing at all.’

‘And I can come back to London.’

‘Indeed.’

‘And see my friends.’

‘Absolutely.’

‘And do whatever I want whenever I want.’

‘You can.’

‘Fuck.’

‘Exactly.’

And then they both laughed, a long, loud release of nervous energy that faded gently into a companionable silence.

They chatted for another hour. They chatted about his
brother and sister, and laughed about his job as a driving instructor. They chatted about Joy’s mother and father, and laughed about her job in a photo lab. They talked about food and films and family and feelings. They talked, basically, about everything they might have spent the past ten or so years talking about if it hadn’t rained that night in Hunstanton, if Joy hadn’t written her note in ink, if Alan hadn’t put his hands up Kirsty’s top and down her shorts, and changed the paths of their lives so dramatically and irrevocably.

At five o’clock Vince’s phone vibrated in his coat pocket and he pulled it out just as it burst into a tinny rendition of the Bond theme. He smiled apologetically at Joy and flinched slightly when he saw Jess’s name flash up on the display. He was tempted not to answer it. Big, bold Jess with her shiny white teeth and visible G-strings, her mysterious male friends and shady past, suddenly seemed a million miles away from where he’d been this afternoon with Joy. Jess was sitting in a flat somewhere with a man called Franco who may or may not be gay, but who Vince was certainly destined never to meet. She was probably taking drugs with him or possibly having sex with him – nothing about Jess could really surprise him these days – but whatever she was doing it had nothing whatsoever to do with him.

The phone rang on, getting louder and louder. People turned to see who was failing to answer the phone with the incredibly annoying ring tone.

Vince pressed accept.

‘Hello, Angel boy. What you doing?’

‘Having a coffee in Neal’s Yard.’ He was tempted to
add, ‘with a stunningly beautiful ex-girlfriend whom I used to be madly in love with’, but decided that he was too old for game playing at such an infantile level.

‘Cool,’ she said. ‘How soon can you get home?’

He shrugged and glanced at his watch. ‘In an hour?’

‘I’ll see you at mine, then,’ she said, ‘I’ve got something to tell you.’

‘What?’ he said, a feeling of dread trailing down his spine.

‘I’ll tell you when you get here. And don’t be late.’ And then she hung up on him.

He snapped his phone shut and glanced at Joy. ‘I’m going to have to go,’ he said.

Joy shrugged. ‘That’s OK.’

‘I’m sorry. I was really enjoying our chat.’

‘Don’t worry about it.’

‘Jess says she’s got something to tell me.’

‘Ooh,’ she said. ‘Sounds mysterious.’

‘Hmmm.’ Vince pulled his wallet out of his pocket and peeled out a
£10
note. ‘It does, doesn’t it.’

This was it, he mused, she was going to dump him. She was going to say that she and Franco were having an affair, or that she’d realized she was still in love with Jon, or that she’d simply decided that going out with a balding driving instructor had lost its appeal. His relationship was about to end. And there was a small part of him, buried deep down inside, that felt almost relieved, as if he was being let off the hook. He’d fallen in love with one Jess, but was currently conducting a relationship with a completely different Jess – and even though he was still stupidly in love with her, he wasn’t sure he particularly liked her any more.

‘Well,’ he said, regarding Joy fondly, ‘you’ve got my number now. Don’t let it get caught in the rain.’

Joy laughed. ‘I won’t,’ she said.

‘And promise me you’ll call, the minute you’ve decided what to do.’

‘I promise. I need to call anyway – find out what Jess’s big announcement is. Maybe she’s pregnant.’ She shoved her hands into the pockets of her jeans and grinned at him.

‘No,’ he said, ‘unlikely. We missed her fertile period last month – she had the flu.’

‘Ah, well,’ she said, ‘maybe she’s going to ask you to marry her.’ She laughed, a little bit too loud. ‘I’m so glad this happened,’ she said. ‘The timing, it couldn’t have been better. It feels almost…’

‘Predestined?’

‘Yes,’ she said, ‘as if there are forces at work. Maybe that cat was trying to tell us something, after all.’

Vince grinned back at her. ‘Maybe,’ he said.

And then they leaned towards each to say goodbye, and it suddenly felt inadequate to close such an intimate episode with a perfunctory peck on the cheek, so he opened up his arms for a hug, and the minute she stepped into his embrace a hundred memories stampeded through his head. He remembered the feel of her and the smell of her and the taste of her. He remembered Cameo and candy floss and silky calves and sand dunes. He remembered picture postcards and sweaty car seats and warm Coca-Cola. He remembered feeling whole and complete for the first time in his life. He remembered feeling as if he belonged somewhere, as if he fitted. He remembered that he’d once had a soul mate.

He stared at the crown of Joy’s head as he hugged her and, even though decorum was telling him to let go of her, his heart wouldn’t let him. And besides – she was holding him tight, too.

They finally separated after a few moments and laughed nervously.

‘Well,’ he said, feeling suddenly awkward. ‘Lovely to see you. Just amazing.’

‘You, too,’ said Joy. ‘I’ll call you. Definitely’

‘Good,’ he smiled, and picked up his carrier bags. ‘I look forward to it. A lot.’

And then he went, turning once at the entrance to Neal’s Yard, just to take one last look at her, just to see if she was looking at him, too.

She was.

‘Look!’ said Jess, the second Vince walked through the door that afternoon. ‘Two lines! I’m pregnant!’

Vince had imagined this moment so many times in the months leading up to it, imagined how complete and overjoyed he would feel when Jess uttered those magic words. The reality, unfortunately, hadn’t quite lived up to his expectations.

For a start, Jon was in the room when she made her announcement.

‘Oh, my God.’ Vince stood rooted to the spot, holding the white stick, staring in awe at the first visible, outward manifestation of the child Jess was carrying.

‘Oh, Jesus! Jess! That’s amazing!’ Jon leaped to his feet and bundled himself at Jess, lassoing her in an effusive embrace. ‘Vince! Mate!’ He held his arms out to Vince, who stepped numbly into them and found himself suddenly crushed between Jess and Jon like an overgrown child. ‘You guys! You did it! That’s the best! The best thing ever!’ And then he started crying. Crying properly, like a woman.

Vince stared at him in disbelief. This big, hard-nut Turkey Street boy, this cosmopolitan sophisticate, this
man,
was sobbing his heart out. And it wasn’t even his baby. And that was when Vince started to think about the logistics of the scenario.

‘Wow,’ he said, ‘so that’s positive, is it?’ He handed the plastic wand back to Jess.

‘Oh, yes,’ she said, disentangling herself from Jon’s second embrace. ‘These tests are pretty much 100 per cent reliable these days. It’s official. I’m up the duff!’ Her face shone with excitement and pride, but Vince felt strangely numb.

‘How did you know?’ he said. ‘I mean, what made you decide to take a test?.’

‘It was Frank’s idea,’ she said happily. ‘I said I was feeling a bit sick when I woke up this morning, and he said I looked different – persuaded me to go to the chemist. Get a test kit. I peed on the stick and he was right!’

‘What – you did the test with
Frank?’

‘Uh-huh.’

‘So Frank was the first person to know?’

‘Yes. He was
so
excited. You should have seen his face. Me finding out I was pregnant right there in his flat. I said he’ll have to be the godfather. Along with you, too, of course,’ she said as she grabbed Jon’s hand and beamed at him.

‘Christ. Jess. I can’t believe you did the test with
Frank,
With a stranger. I mean – didn’t you think you should have waited? Done it with me?’

Jess bit her bottom lip. ‘God. Yes. I suppose so. I didn’t think. But isn’t it great? Aren’t you pleased?’

‘Of course I’m pleased, I’m just a little bit surprised. I thought we’d missed our chance this month – you know – when you had the flu.’

‘Oh, yes, but that fertile window – it’s only a guide line
. I mean, Christ, you can get pregnant when you’ve got your period. And besides, there’s something beautiful about it. The fact that we weren’t trying and it happened anyway – like this baby really wanted to be. Like it made my body fertile just so that it could exist.’ She beamed and cupped her belly with her hand.

‘Oh, God,’ said Vince, as another discomfiting thought occurred to him. ‘What about the drugs?’

‘What drugs?’

‘You know. All the coke you’ve been doing lately.’

‘All
the coke? You mean the two lines I had last weekend and the dab I had last night?’

‘Yes.’

‘Oh, come on, Vince. That’s hardly enough for us to be worrying about. It’s only a little blob of cells…’

‘Yes, but don’t you think you should make sure? Ask the doctor?’

‘Oh, my God – I’ve known my doctor since I was five years old. I am
so
not telling him I’ve been taking drugs.’

‘Well, then, maybe you could phone a clinic – see someone impartial.’

‘Jesus, Vince – this is the happiest moment of my life. This is what we’ve both wanted since the minute we set eyes on each other and all you’ve done since you walked through the door is whinge. Aren’t you happy? Have you changed your mind?’

‘No.
No. Of course I haven’t changed my mind. This just isn’t how I thought it would be. I thought we’d do the test together,
alone.
I thought it would be intimate and romantic. I thought it would be this… this
great
moment. And instead you’ve done your test with some
bloke you’ve known for less than a month, whom I’ve never even met and who may or may not be gay –’

‘I can assure you that Frank is gay – ’

‘Whatever. And then you tell me that I’m about to be a father in front of Jon. No offence, Jon, but I’m sure you understand.’

‘Of course. Of course.’ Jon slapped his hand to his forehead. ‘Christ. What an insensitive twat. I’m really sorry’ He grabbed his jacket and made for the door.

‘No,’ said Jess, folding her arms across her chest. ‘Jon. Don’t go. Vince is being ridiculous.’

‘No. Really,’ he said, ‘I’m going. Vince is right. I shouldn’t be here.’ He smiled apologetically at Vince and left the flat.

‘Good grief,’ snapped Jess, turning to face Vince as the door closed behind Jon. ‘I had no idea you could be so
childish.’

‘Childish! Me! Are you kidding. I’m not the one who’s been out clubbing every weekend and taking drugs and drinking while we’ve been trying for a baby.’

‘Oh, for God’s sake. I’ve been out four times in the past month. I only got drunk once. And as for drugs, I really don’t think a couple of lines and a few dabs constitutes a problem.’