Waiting for You (3 page)

She couldn’t be the only one feeling it. As the music ended she pulled back, smiling as she looked up into his face, never doubting she’d find awareness and warmth in his eyes.

Her smile slowly faded. Jake was looking down at her impassively, his expression just as cool and distant as it had been before they’d started dancing.

She went still, staring at him. Was it possible he’d felt nothing when he held her in his arms? Had she only imagined the connection, the electricity?

She turned away, focusing on the band instead and clapping mechanically. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Jake clapping, too. He seemed detached, aloof, and it was obvious that whatever she’d felt during their dance had not been mutual.

She took a deep breath. That was how crushes worked, right? One person felt something and the other didn’t. She and Jake might be adults now, but the dynamic between them hadn’t changed.

It was still one-sided.

She was glad she’d had a chance to welcome him home, and she was glad she’d danced with him. It had been a walk down memory lane and a wake-up call at the same time. And the ice had been broken. If they ran into each other around town, she wouldn’t feel nervous or awkward anymore.

But it was time to put her old feelings behind her. She’d probably always be attracted to Jake, but she didn’t have to pine over him like the silly teenager she’d once been.

The bandleader’s voice broke into her thoughts. “All right, ladies and gentlemen, one of the guests has requested the chicken dance. So if you’re game, come on up here!”

She glanced at Jake, and this time his expression showed actual emotion. The emotion of a man who would rather be hung upside down in a pit of rattlesnakes than do the chicken dance.

At least in that they were on the same page.

“It’s okay,” she said. “If we get off the dance floor now, we won’t be sucked into the vortex.”

It was time to make her exit. She’d been planning to leave the reception a little early in any case, since she was meeting a client in the morning. Now was as good a time as any.

She cleared her throat. “So…thanks for the dance, Jake. Maybe I’ll see you at your parents’ house sometime.”

People were starting to crowd the floor, and Jake glanced around before looking down at her again. There was a slight frown on his face.

“Okay,” he said after a moment. “It was nice to see you again, Erin.”

She nodded once and then hurried off through the crowd, looking for Beth to tell her she was heading out.

Beth hugged her goodbye. “You did say you had to leave early. Are we still on for lunch tomorrow, before my flight?”

“Definitely. I have that appointment in the morning, but the rest of my day is free. Do you want a ride to the airport after we eat?”

“No, I have a rental. Are you sure you don’t want to stay for the chicken dance?”

She smiled. “I’m really, really sure. See you tomorrow, Beth.”

She was crossing the lobby towards the coat check counter when she got her first glimpse out the big glass windows.

It was snowing.

The weather stations had been split fifty-fifty on this one. Half had predicted rain, the other half snow.

Erin had been hoping for rain. Her car was lousy in the snow, and it was coming down thick and fast out there. It looked like three or four inches had already fallen.

Should she stay the night at the hotel? She’d much rather not—her computer was at home, and she’d hoped to do a little more prep work tonight or tomorrow morning before her client meeting. On the other hand—

“I heard there might be snow tonight.”

She turned quickly at the sound of Jake’s voice.

He was wearing an overcoat over his suit, his hands thrust into the pockets. He seemed to be studying her, a slight frown on his face. It was the same way he’d looked at her after their dance.

He was standing close, and a shiver went through her. She hugged herself around the waist.

“I heard that, too, but I refused to believe it. It’s almost April.”

“At least it won’t be on the ground very long.”

There was a burst of laughter and applause from the ballroom, and they both glanced that way.

“Aren’t you staying for the rest of the reception?” she asked, even thought it was obvious he wasn’t.

“No. They’ll be winding down pretty soon, and I figured it wouldn’t matter if I left a little early.”

He didn’t say anything else. They looked at each other in silence for a minute, and Erin was struck again by the difference between this hardened ex-soldier and the teenage boy she remembered.

She wondered what he was thinking. She wondered what had changed him. But looking into his cool blue eyes, it was hard to imagine ever asking.

She looked away, wondering if the Army trained its soldiers in hypnosis techniques. The longer she stared at him the more drawn in she felt. It would be all too easy to get lost in those eyes, trying to see behind the mask.

And that was the last thing she needed to do. Already she was too aware of him, of the effect he always had on her. He was standing so close she could imagine the heat coming off his body. She remembered resting her head against his chest, and a spark of electricity went through her.

This wasn’t helping. She was supposed to be distancing herself from Jake, not imagining getting closer.

“What about you?” he asked her after a moment. “Are you leaving, too?”

She nodded. “I have an early day tomorrow.” Since tomorrow was Saturday, she added, “I have a meeting with a client.”

“What kind of work do you do?”

“I’m a web designer. I have my own business.”

His eyes warmed a little as he smiled. “Do you really? That’s great. I remember how good you were with computers, and how you always talked about being your own boss someday.”

He remembered that? A warm feeling spread through her and she spoke quickly to cover it. “I remember how good you were with anything mechanical. It seemed like you were always working on someone’s car. You fixed my dad’s truck once, remember?”

He nodded. “Engines are still my thing. I’ve been working at a friend’s garage since I got back, and I’ve started building custom motorcycles. I’m thinking about turning it into a business.”

“Do you still have your Harley?”

“Sure. Of course I drove my pickup tonight.” He paused. “I’d offer to give you a ride home, but you probably came in your own car, right?”

His words hung in the air for way too long. She had plenty of time to tell herself how crazy it would be to—

“I’d rather get a ride home with you,” she heard herself say. “My car’s terrible in bad weather.”

He nodded again. “My truck could drive up a mountain in a blizzard. I’ll take you home, and tomorrow morning I’ll pick you up and bring you back here for your car.”

“That would be great,” she said, wondering what in the world she was doing.

Driving home with Jake was not the way to put her feelings behind her. But there was a buzzing in her ears, a shimmering in her veins, and she was starting to think that some impulses were stronger than logic or common sense.

Not that this would lead to anything. Jake was just being nice, and she was grateful for that. Aside from any other feelings she might have, she really would rather go home in his truck than try to navigate through the snow in her car.

A sudden rush of goose bumps reminded her that her arms were bare. “I’ll get my coat and meet you back here, okay?”

“Okay.”

***

As soon as Erin was out of sight, Jake rubbed a hand across his eyes.

What the hell was he thinking? He’d been five seconds away from getting out of here, free to head back to his apartment and stare at the TV until he fell asleep, and now he’d offered to give Erin Shaw a ride home.

The woman who’d been in his arms a few minutes ago. The woman he hadn’t wanted to let go of.

She’d smelled so good, like violets and silk. When she rested her head against his chest a surge of something he hadn’t felt in a long, long time had come over him.

Everything about her was soft. Her hair, her skin, her dress. He’d wanted to touch all that softness, to rub his face in her hair and kiss every inch of her skin.

If he’d known he would react like that he wouldn’t have gone near her. He wasn’t in the market for a relationship, but it had been so long since he’d felt any kind of spark with a woman that it hadn’t been an issue for a while. He’d almost forgotten what it was like to feel this tempted.

He didn’t know if he’d ever felt this tempted.

Erin was coming back now, wearing a black wool coat that made her hair look like platinum. She was smiling, and twenty-seven or not, her expression was still sweet, still innocent, as if she still had some illusions left.

Watching her come towards him, he felt the iron weight of all his experience, the loss of innocence and every illusion he’d ever cherished.

He didn’t belong anywhere near this woman. This woman who was looking at him like he was someone worth looking up to.

She didn’t know that he wasn’t. That he was empty inside, with nothing to offer her or anybody.

And she never would know. He’d drive her home tonight, and bring her back here to get her car in the morning, just like he’d promised.

And he wouldn’t go near her again.

Chapter Three

As soon as they left the bright hotel lobby, it was as if they’d stepped into a different world. The noise of the crowd and the band faded away and he and Erin were wrapped in the silence of falling snow.

There were several inches on the ground already, and the soft flakes were coming down thickly. They didn’t talk, but the silence felt restful rather than awkward. Jake took in a deep breath and let it out, watching his breath crystallize in the cold air.

He glanced down at Erin, walking beside him. She caught a snowflake on her tongue and smiled up at him, looking a lot younger than twenty-seven.

They reached his truck, and Jake let her in on the passenger side before grabbing the snow brush to clear the windows.

“Do you still live in Willow Springs?” he asked once he was behind the wheel.

“Yes. On Maple Hill Road.”

“That’s not far from the farm,” he said, pulling carefully out of the parking lot. His truck might be great in the snow, but he wasn’t taking any chances with Erin in the car.

She nodded. “I love that part of town. When I saw the rental listing a few years ago I knew I just had to live there.”

“You’re renting?”

She nodded again. “The owner offered to sell it to me last year, but I’m not sure I’m ready for that. I’m worried about using all my savings for the down payment and I don’t know if my income is big enough. I mean, it’s big enough for me to live on, but I’m not sure it’s big enough to buy a house. Especially since the banks are making it tougher to get a mortgage. And I hate being in debt, so I only have one credit card and I never use it, which, it turns out, is bad for your credit score.” She glanced at him. “That’s probably more information than you needed, huh?”

Considering the fact that he’d never been able to get her to talk when they were younger, it was actually kind of nice. “No. I’ve never understood the whole credit score thing, myself.” He glanced at her again. “Would your parents be able to help you out? With the down payment, I mean.”

Erin stiffened. “My mother’s out of the picture, and Dad passed away a few years ago. Heart attack.”

Damn. “I’m sorry,” he said. “That must have been rough.”

She shrugged, turning her head to look out the passenger side window.

Silence fell, but this time it didn’t feel restful. Here he’d been thinking of Erin as someone with no painful history, no baggage weighing her down…but that obviously wasn’t the case. He tried to think of a way to change the subject.

“So…it’s just you, then?”

She looked back at him. “At my house? Yes, I live alone.”

“No boyfriend?” he asked before he could stop himself.

“No,” she said after a moment.

He could have kicked himself. Now she probably thought he was planning to make a move on her.

“What about you?” she asked.

“Me?”

“Yes. Do you have a girlfriend?”

Why had she asked him that? Was she just making conversation, or did she actually
want
him to make a move on her? If there was any chance of that, he had to make it crystal clear it was never going to happen.

“No, I don’t have a girlfriend. I’m not really interested in dating anyone right now. I haven’t made any decisions about what I’m doing next, so…”

She frowned a little. “I thought you were starting a business.”

“I’m thinking about it, yeah. But I don’t have to build motorcycles in Iowa. I could go anywhere.”

Being home was both good and bad. He loved his family, but their obvious worry and concern wasn’t anything he felt like dealing with right now.

Erin was still frowning at him. “You should stay,” she said. “Don’t you want to be near your family? After being away for so long, everything you must have gone through—”

She paused, and he felt every muscle in his body tense. He didn’t want Erin to ask him what he’d gone through. He was afraid he’d snap at her the way he snapped at anyone who asked him that question.

“I’m sorry,” she said quietly. “It’s none of my business what you decide to do.”

Jake felt himself relax, but only slightly. It had been a mistake to let himself feel at ease around Erin, even briefly. He needed to keep his guard up—around her, around his family, around everyone. Even casual conversations could be full of unseen landmines, which is why he usually avoided them.

He exited off the highway and drove through Willow Springs. Once they were past the town center the roads weren’t well plowed, and he slowed down. After a while he turned onto Maple Hill Road. “How far?”

“A mile on the right.”

They drove the mile in silence, while his wipers tried to keep up with the snowfall. There was something hypnotic in the rush of flakes coming towards them, as if they were speeding through a galaxy of stars.