War Torn Love (32 page)

             
“I will be right downstairs sweetie! I will be thinking of you.” He said this just as the door was closed behind him.

             
I yelled out to my beloved, “Ok Honey, I guess the next time we will be seeing one another we will be parents.”

             
There was a majority of the time - during the difficult times of the labor - I grew angered, and quite vocal directed at Abram – it was quite out of character for me. I
blamed him for doing all this to me. And oh boy did I scream that out, so he could hear it! Well everyone had to had heard it.”

             
This utter
uneasiness
and discomfort went on for another twelve grueling hours. The contractions grew closer to one another, just minutes apart, and more intense than the earlier ones, before the doctor finally said to me, “Hana my girl I would say you’re finally dilated enough, that you – could start pushing, you think that you’re ready? Because this is finally it!”

           “Yes doctor, I am so tired, but I really want to get this over with once and for all! I just hope I had the strength to do so.”

             
“Hana my dear, the good God will give you the strength to get through this; you had a strong spirit to you.”

             
I held onto Marym hand for strength. Momma would wipe the sweat from my forehead with a small towel. With a wet washrag, she wet my lips with the smallest amount of water, since the doctor would not permit me to eat or drink.

             
Doctor Gorski said, “Ok Hana I am going to need you to do as I say, now push as hard as you could through the entire contraction - do not push until the contraction starts.”

             
I did as he asked, I screamed out as I pushed. At that particular moment, I was not so happy.” You bloody did this to me Abram, you just had to
have
kids, you hear me no more kids! I will not do this again!” Frustrated,
trying my best to deal with the pain I latched onto and then squeezed my sister’s hand hard, - squeezing her poor hand like it was in a vice, all in an attempting to work through the immense amount of pain tearing through
me. In
-between the contractions, I was utterly exhausted, I would rest up. Close my eyes and just do my best to get through it, pray for the strength to get through all this. And then once again another one rolled in with even more intensity.

             
Then the good doctor informed us, “Hana you’re doing a wonderful job, I am proud of you. The good news is! It should not be more than a half dozen more contractions, if you push this good through each one of them. Oh Hana, I could now see the crown of your baby’s head“

             
Then another contraction showed up, “Now push as hard as you could for me Hana, that’s it dear, your baby’s head is nearly out now. Very good Hana, now just try relaxing.”

             
I laid back. I was sweating I tried my best catching my breath. Then not long afterwards, yet another contraction quickly arrived. And we were arriving at the hardest segment of the delivery, trying to get the baby out of me once and for all. That was the shoulders, the widest section - doctor said once we were past the shoulders it got easier. I had no idea that I could expand this far. I later would think of it like trying to squeeze a watermelon out of my body.

             
The doctor then said, “Hana your doing a wonderful job, but now I will require you to push even longer through
it, and as hard as you can. And this will soon all be over with, and you should see your baby.”

             
I was so worn-out, but I knew I did not had any other option, there was no way out of this, but to push as the doctor had asked, I sought to get this over with once and for all. I began pushing hard; I lifted my head up, towards my legs. I screamed out, surely everyone in the house could hear me.

             
The doctor piped in, “Very good Hana, good news! We are now past the shoulders push one more time for me, and your baby should be completely free. Oh that is it, that’s it, oh yes, it’s free Hana.” Then the doctor did not say a thing. I grew worried. There was an eerie silence from the baby.

             
I screamed out, “Is my baby Ok Doctor?”

             
We were all looking at one another, waiting for the baby to make a noise. I felt so completely helpless. He held the baby upside down, and gave a gentle spanking on the baby’s buttocks, and then the baby began to cry out aloud, Doctor Gorski began laughing, “must had her mother’s lungs, wouldn’t you say. Oh my Hana you had yourself a very beautiful little girl”

             
I began crying just hearing my precious babies cry’s for the very first time. Her little sounds were so precious. It was a strange feeling, “I had a girl!” I then thought how I brought a little life into this world.

             
The doctor cut the babies umbilical cord and physically examined the babies, to make sure she was
healthy. Then he handed my daughter over to my very excited Momma to clean her up, before ultimately handing her off to me. Meanwhile we still had more business of the birth to deal with, after pushing again then the placenta easily came out in a gush of blood. The pains settled into period like cramps. I lay back, resting my head back down on the pillow in exhaustion, glad that it was over with. Nevertheless, feeling surely blessed, that God saw fit to bring Abram and I a healthy baby girl. Marym said a prayer of joy and thanks.

             
Once the doctor was done delivering my baby, he examined me future, then he said, “Hana this is common, because your daughter head was so big, and you so tiny, there’s a small tear I need to stitch you up. Do not worry it is a minor thing, Hana I am going to give you a shot to numb you up in the area. I had to give you a couple of stitches and then this will all finally be over with.”

             
It hurt a little, but nothing like what I had just gone through, I do not mean to say that giving birth was
all-bad
, it was an amazing experience. Then when he was done, he looked up at me, he smiled and glanced over, “Say Hana dear you had a very pretty baby, she appears to be healthy. I had to say it is a true delight for me, when I had the opportunity to deliver two different generations of babies.” As he was saying this to me, he was lifting his glasses up off the bridge of his nose, and then began wiping the tears from his own eyes with his handkerchief.

             
My
mother-in-law
and Momma cleaned the baby and me all up, given us both a sponge bath. A tradition with our people. Then she put the sheet and blanket to cover me,
so I could be presentable to the waiting party below. Then they handed me over my daughter, she was all bundled up in her little baby blanket Momma had knitted especially for her, for this very day. I rested her on my bare chest; her little eyes were shut, adjusting to her new world, I though how strange it must be for her. But she was moving her little head.” Oh look, she had a full head of brown hair.” I gently spoke to her. “Hello my girl I am your Momma,” it was clear she recognized my voice. 

Marym leant over and
whispered,
“She needed to feed straight away sweetie – gently guide her and she’ll do it instinctively” In a daze, I did, and soon she was latched on and suckling, taking the precious colstrum that all mothers produce in the first few days. It was an uncomfortable, but not unpleasant sensation – and suddenly I felt something like a little give and the milk felt like it was flowing more freely. She suckled for a few minutes before letting go, and going to sleep.

             
Smiling from ear to ear, “Momma could you kindly please go get my husband, and the rest of the family. I want them all to see the new addition to our growing family. They had had to wait long enough, don’t you think!”

             
Abram had obviously been on pins and needles, waiting to see his new child. I hope he was not mad at me, I had said some pretty awful things about him. He was waiting out on the bottom step, just waiting for someone, anyone to come out from the bedroom door, not getting up from that stair, he sat there for hours just waiting it out. Not thirty-seconds afterwards Momma made the big announcement to my family, Abram came running up the
stairs, right pasted Momma as she spoke, and coming close to knocking her over. Then busting into the room, overtaken with excitement, he looked over at me. He was grinning from ear to ear. He glanced down at his new daughter and me. “I cannot believe it Hana  my love, were now parents aren’t we? And were a family. We had a girl-oh, she is as beautiful as her Momma! Oh my gosh listen to me, are you two ok?”

             
I certainly did not feel beautiful at the moment. “Yes sweetie, Doctor Gorski says she’s health as could be, look who her father is, and I am just fine, and oh boy am I sore and more exhausted than I had ever been in my life. It really took a long time, but I had never been more happy than at this moment! Abram she really is beautiful isn’t she? We really did well, we really are lucky! Abram I said some pretty awful things to you, during childbirth! Could you ever forgive me?”

             
“Hana please all is forgiven. Truthfully, if I had to do what you just did, I would
have
yelled at me to. You had made me the happiest man in the world, more so than I could had ever imagined. Hana may I pick up and hold our daughter?’

             
“Of course you could silly - you do not had to ask me for permission to hold your own daughter! You’re her father.”

             
“I am aren’t I?” Nervously he suddenly turned to Marym who was standing next to him at the time, “Marym I had not held babies – could you show me the right way to pick up and hold my daughter? I do not want to hurt her.”

             
“Sure thing sweetie, it’s important to remember to always support her little head like this, that’s right, now hold her in close to your chest, that’s right you got it!”

             
“I just do not want to hurt her…I am so nervous, I will hurt her. Look at her she is so precious, and so tiny, look at her little hands.”

             
Marym walking him through it, “Don’t worry Abram, That feeling your experiencing now will pass, you will loosen up in a couple of days of practice, but as far as being overprotective, not wanting to see them get hurt, well I think that that never really goes away, right Momma?”

             
Momma answered, “That’s the absolute truth dear!  She will always be your baby, even after they just given birth, and become a mother for themselves!” 

             
Marym said, “Abram, you could talk to her; she will recognize your voice! You’re doing a very good job with her, so do not worry.”

             
He looked over at Marym, “Thank you Marym you had always been so good and sweet to me! Oh Hana she is just so beautiful, hello my girl, I am your Daddy!”

             
Doctor Gorski interrupted Abram, “Well you two kids, now that you are parents, what are we going to call this lovely bundle of joy, I think she would like a name, and I certainly need a name to be  put down on her birth certificate, don’t you think? I had that she was born on May 12
^th
1939 at 9:42 pm.”