War Torn Love (37 page)

             
We all had to have the most up-to-date of information on the attack. The boys quickly unloaded the radio and hooked it up in the living room. We all sat down on the bare floor, having yet to receive delivery on our couch or other items – it was coming in the next few days. And I knew, I’d never see it. We held onto one another trying to find comfort - I think we all needed each other’s love. We also turned to our God, and prayed, as we listened to the latest reports. We listened well into the night. Long past all the children going to bed. People started joining us in ones and twos, including
Abram’s
mother and my parents. 

             
Suddenly, moving into this house had absolutely no meaning whatsoever - I feared more for the safety of my family, and my people, and my country. I knew that I probably was never going to live here.

             
Hersz was such a kind soul - he tried his best to calm his wife and I, “You ladies have to understand how grand the Polish army is. Remember I had once served in the army! Our boys will surely defeat them.”

             
A short-time later I overheard Hersz talking with Abram and his uncle – Abram’s dad - about signing up and taking arms to fight the Germans and then I glimpsed that look in my husband’s eyes - the gears working in his head, turning around, like an idea was coming to him. I probably knew him better than I probably knew anyone else.  That being said, I also knew that if he did decide to take up
arms, then there would be nothing I could do or say that would possibly convince him to do otherwise - he was quite stubborn, plus he really loved his country, loyal to the last.

             
Over shots of vodka the men were drinking, Hersz shouted out, “Our boys will fight them Nazis all the way back to Berlin!” I would have had a drink or two to calm my nerves if I were not still breastfeeding.

             
I guess having what Hersz said was to some extent reassuring to all of us - I believe we were all trying to get our heads around this war – one that we’d never expected, but had come as quite the shock at the same time. Deep down I knew we were all in danger, our army would prove to be not enough. The German army was superior to all the armies of Europe and at that point in time, they were bigger force, and better trained,
better-equipped
, superior weapons, and a mad
man was ruling them. How could our army possibly match up against that? It seemed as if he would take over the world. 

             
We quickly decided for now it would be safest staying put right at the farm - away from the cities and towns. The cities were more likely to receive the attention and presence of soldiers from either side, maybe even fighting. We were
-
situated off the beaten path, about three miles out of town. We feared for the safety of all our families, and extended families. Hersz needing to stay busy, he took it upon himself, and began tracking down and calling our missing family members. Over the rest of the evening, everyone began slowly showing up with as much of their belongings as they were able to carry with them and bringing as much food as feasible. The women of the
family gathered; prepared places for everyone to sleep,
organized
the food, and cooking as we could. Meanwhile, the men went off away from the women and children to the barn to discuss what we were going to do - I am sure they started drinking and smoking their cigars. I knew they were as worried as much as the women were where, but they tried being strong around us - they needed to blow off a little steam first, I could understand that.

             
When Abram had gone away with the other men, I realized just how much I need him and I also realized I would not be able to get through all this without him. He had always been there for, me; I drew from him his strength. I just hoped he thought the same of me.

             
Upon the conclusion of their meeting, they came and informed us that they wanted to see if the Polish military could stop the Germans, before we all overreacted, since all our lives were so rooted here in this community, none of us wanted to leave our homes and businesses behind. After all, we hoped this could be over in next to no time at all. Therefore, we were going to give it two days. Then if things were - God forbid - going badly on the behalf of our military, the elders agreed we would all leave Poland. We were to travel together and had to leave almost everything behind, but we would still have each other. There was safety in numbers.

             
While they were out in the barn, they studied the map, and realized there were only two potential safe routes out of Poland. One route travel was to go east to Russia, which really was not a viable option, since the state of affairs with Stalin, and the communist was not much better
than the Nazis. So that left only one option, it was agreed that we would head south through Slovakia, and continue heading south. We
would
give ourselves a safe buffer zone between the Germans and our travel path.

             
I do not think that any of us could sleep that night, under the circumstances. We all gathered on the front porch it was a warm evening. We looked up at the star filled sky; I had to calm my nerves - Looking up at the stars somehow calmed me, seeing God’s work painted across the night sky. I always felt so small. I reluctantly ended up sipping a few drinks as I needed to relax - I was a complete wreck.  We spent the next day in a state of anxious, jangled fear. We were glued to the radio, listening for the latest news. We tried to keep the children calm through all of it we did our best not to worry them more than we had too – my daughter and my nieces were definitely too young to understand the gravity of the situation. The men all kept their guns close by their side - just in case we needed to defend ourselves. We also took watch for any out of the ordinary behavior in the land surrounding the farmhouse.

             
By September 2
^nd
, it was already becoming clear it was not going so well for our army – it was slowly starting to withdraw and retrench, gradually heading east, but all was not lost.  It was announced that Britain and France had worded a probable war
declaration
against Germany for their unwarranted attack on Poland! We were jubilant upon hearing this wonderful news - we thought finally Germany’s attack would be stopped from gobbling up even more of Europe.  It was decided that because of this, we
would be staying put here for now. At least we all had one another to console each other.

             
The waiting for me and I am sure the others - was torturous. With nothing to really do, mixed in with the atrocious thoughts of what could happen on the horizon if they were not halted was making it much worst, we were all unsettled and scared.

             
By September 4
^th,
we could slightly hear the rumbling of fighting, far off in the distance. The war had already had traveled along ways, for us to hear its rumble.  At first, we thought it sounded like a good lightning storm. And yet, still the French or English had yet to declare war on the Germans, what they were possibly waiting for I could not guess. Did not they realize there were people that were suffering? According to the radio, there should have been a declaration of war coming any day.  I knew though, as I’d overheard some of the men, that the prevailing feel was that the longer they waited, the less chance we
all had. I kept my pessimistic, depressing thoughts to myself
I focused on my chores. I had not managed more than a couple of hours of sleep in three nights, ever since the war had broken out. The men in our family decided with the rapidly developing conflict approaching where we were, it was no longer safe to continue waiting it out.

Poppa gathered us all together, “Everyone please listen up,
and here
is the plan. At first light, seeing we have no other alternative, we will have to try to make tracks, and flee from the danger. In the hours of darkness, the men will pack up the cars, and trucks we have, along with the wagons we have available to us. Anything we
can
use to
travel. We all stick together
does everyone understand? We are going to bring all the other Jews we have taken in. They are our extended family. We have
forty
people or more to organize, so please, consider bringing only what we really need.” He pointed to three men, and nominated them as in charge of groups, and people began to congregate to them. My Abram was one of them.

             
Four am came too soon and we were already all pulling out - down our driveway, in one large caravan, Abram in the lead. I was looking back at our farm as we left, praying we would be returning soon. And then disaster struck - before we even made it to the end of the driveway to our farm, the war we had hoped would be held off, had reached Kutno, my beloved hometown. German planes appeared, and were now dropping bombs on our fair town, in a coordinated attack. Deafening explosions erupted as their synchronized attack proceeded – which meant a huge firestorm laid ahead, as the dropping bombs continued to strike their intended targets and exploded with such power. Soon, the city was ablaze. Flames higher than I had ever witnessed, as the buildings themselves caught fire.  It was still semi-dark, so it made the fires quite stark and shocking.

             
But there
were
so many fires it did not seem possible planes could bring such destruction, the sky was completely lit up. My ears were ringing from each new exploding bomb since we were only about two-miles out of town. There was no hesitation whether or not we should stop, my father-in-law said, “Abram keep going, head away from town, we have to get out of here!”

             
By this time, Abiela would not stop crying, I tried comforting her, to no avail. I do love her so, but even I could not take her crying at the moment, I was on edged, so scared. Abram was driving, paying no attention to me. I was in the car with us were his parents, and his cousin. In addition to the human cargo, our stuff, we could not afford the space, so we did not bring much along with us. Mainly the clothes on our back, and our valuables.

             
We took a road that took us away from town; in order to avoid the fighting and mayhem. In the pre-dawn gloom, we could see the town burst into flames – Abram’s father began to weep when he realized that the store and his house could possibly have been completely destroyed in this ruthless attack. There really was nothing we could say to console him. I reached out and hugged him tightly, comfort him, and say to him, not to worry, because everything was going to turn out just fine. I think ever than I think even then, I knew that would be a complete lie. As we looked at one another, I think we were all thinking the very same thing, but none of us dared to articulate our true feelings since it would not help. My adrenaline was on overload - I wanted to scream out! I had so much fear, anger building up - I was scared for all our lives. I was like a pressure cooker, needed to go off.  It was taking every
fiber
in my body to hold it together, I really was not sure that I could.

             
He was hard to look at when I could see such hurt, so much pain in his face but yet I was discovering I was incapable of peeling my eyes away from seeing the utter carnage of our town. The town I was born in being so
viciously attacked I it t dawned on me, that my parents might had also lost everything in the attack as
well. We
did not want to be spotted, so each car turned off all headlights, soon more than a few cars from town were fleeing ahead of the German attack were added to our own caravan. There was a huge rag tag caravan forming both behind us, and ahead of us. I guess
I not
blame them.