We Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus (15 page)

“So how’d you do, Perrini?”

Rick turned to find a young woman who’d asked him out the first week of school standing behind him with one of her girlfriends. A trim brunette with stylish glasses, a quirky smile and a knockout figure, she was certainly attractive, but she was too young for him. That was one of the problems with going back to school at twenty-eight, especially at a community college. Everyone else was almost a decade younger. “I passed,” he said simply. “What about you?”

“I passed, too.”

Her blond friend made a strangled sound and rolled her
eyes. “You passed? You
passed,
Abby?” she echoed, then she looked at him. “Abby got an
A.
Abby always gets an
A.
If you ask me, it’s pretty sickening.”

Abby’s face colored, and she glared at her friend. “Stop it, Caitlin. I have to get an
A.
I wasn’t serious about high school and blew my chance to get a scholarship. I’m trying to make up for lost time.”

“I understand you’re properly motivated,” Caitlin replied. “That’s not the sickening part. The sickening part is how
easy
getting good grades is for you.”

Rick had turned Abby down when she’d asked him to dinner a week ago, but he felt his interest level rising now. The study group he’d joined wasn’t really working out. They spent more time talking than they did studying, and he wasn’t attending school for its social aspects. He wanted a study partner who was dependable and serious, and if he had his guess, Abby was both. Age wasn’t an issue when it came to learning.

“Do you belong to a study group?” he asked.

“No.”

“Would you be interested in studying with me?”

She hitched her backpack higher on one shoulder. “No,” she said and walked away, leaving her friend gaping after her.

“I guess she hasn’t forgiven you for turning her down,” Caitlin explained with a helpless shrug, then hurried to catch up.

H
ER BIRTHDAY WAS TOMORROW
.
If she didn’t do something about it, she was going to spend the evening alone.

Jaclyn glanced nervously at Cole, then tossed the fettuccine she was making for his dinner in her special pesto, sun-dried tomatoes and grilled chicken sauce, and dumped it onto a plate. He liked pasta, and he looked relaxed sitting there at the table, reading the Preliminary Title Report on the Sparks project. They’d just received loan approval from
Larry at Reno Bank & Trust, so he was in a great mood. Now was probably a good time to ask him to spend the evening with her tomorrow night, but she’d been wanting to do it all week and hadn’t managed to find the nerve. What made her think today would be any different?

“I’m taking off,” Margaret said, poking her head into the kitchen.

“You’re getting out of here late tonight. It’s almost five,” Cole said.

“I had some calls to make. I think I’ve got another buyer on the hook for Little Acorn Court. Nice family, two kids. They’re going to let me know tomorrow.”

“That’s great. You’re selling houses like crazy.”

“You’re giving me nice houses to sell. Anyway, I’ve changed the sign out front to Closed.”

“Thanks.” Cole buried his nose in his reports again.

“Smells great in here, Jaclyn,” Margaret said.

“It’s pasta with garlic and sun-dried tomatoes,” she said. “Would you like to try some?”

“No, I’m meeting a friend for dinner. Save me some, though. I’ll have it for lunch tomorrow.”

“Okay.”

Margaret trudged away, leaving Jaclyn to stew some more about her birthday. Last year she’d turned thirty-one only a few months after leaving Feld, and it had been one of the loneliest days of her life. She didn’t want to repeat the experience. She wanted to go out to dinner and see a movie or go dancing, and she wanted to do it with a man, preferably Cole. Which meant she had to ask him, right? But how?

If she mentioned it was her birthday, he might think she was hinting for a gift or a card or something. If she didn’t mention that it was a special occasion, he might think she was pursuing him.

“Ouch!” she cried, burning her hand on the hot pan she’d stuck in the sink.

Cole looked up in surprise. “You okay?”

“Yeah, fine. Just a little burn,” she said, taking an ice cube from the freezer and holding it on the red mark until the pain went away.

“You’ve been pretty quiet today,” he said. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing.”

“Terry still coming to get the kids tomorrow night?”

“Yeah, last I heard.”
Now,
her mind prompted.
Ask him now.
He’d just brought up tomorrow night, giving her the perfect opportunity. But she couldn’t bring herself to say any of the lines she’d rehearsed. They all sounded too much as though she was asking him out, probably because that was exactly what she’d be doing.

“Jackie?”

“Yeah?”

“Is something else burning?”

“Oh! The garlic bread!”

Roiling smoke filled the kitchen as Jaclyn opened the oven door. She grabbed a hot pad and quickly removed the bread, but it was already too charred to eat.

“It’s ruined,” she said in disgust, slamming the pan down on the counter. What the heck was wrong with her, anyway? Why wasn’t she keeping her mind on her work, where it belonged, instead of daydreaming about a night out on the town with her boss?

“Jackie, are you going to tell me what’s going on?” Cole asked, coming to stand behind her. “You seem…I don’t know—preoccupied.”

Jaclyn could feel his warm breath on her neck and knew he was close. It was all she could do not to fling herself into his arms. “I’m sorry,” she said, fighting tears.

“For what?”

“For ruining your dinner and wasting your food.”

“It’s only bread, okay?”

It was only her birthday. What did it matter if she sat home alone? “Okay.”

“Is something else wrong?”

Other than the fact that she couldn’t quit thinking about him? That she knew he wasn’t good for her, that marriage wasn’t part of his life’s plan, and she wanted him, anyway?

God, was she turning into another Rochelle?

“No.” She ran some cool water into the sink to ease the sting of her burn so she could finish the dishes and go, but he slid his arms around her waist and pulled her back against him.

“Tell me what you’re thinking,” he said.

For a moment Jaclyn closed her eyes and let him hold her. She wanted to forget about the dishes, her job, her birthday—especially her birthday—and simply turn in his arms and lift her face for his kiss.

But Rochelle’s words, that day Jaclyn had run into her in Feld four years ago, kept echoing in her head:
He cheated on me…cheated on me…cheated…and it broke my heart.

Jaclyn knew about broken hearts. She’d experienced the same kind of betrayal and devastation. Which meant she’d be a fool to ask for more of the same, right?

Right.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” she said softly, slipping out of his arms. Then she grabbed her purse and left, not allowing herself to look back.

C
OLE ROLLED OVER
and punched his pillow down so he could see the time.
Damn.
It was three in the morning. What was wrong with him? Why was he having such a difficult time sleeping? Work used to keep him up. He’d plan his next project for Perrini Homes, go over profit-and-loss statements in his head, or get up to make a note on something he didn’t want to forget. But he couldn’t blame tonight’s insomnia on business. Jaclyn was the only thing on his mind. He kept reliving the moment he’d pulled her into his arms at the sink. She’d felt like heaven and smelled so good. He’d nearly slipped his hands up under her shirt. He’d wanted to caress her soft, creamy skin and had been almost positive she’d allow it. But then she’d changed. She’d stiffened, pulled away, left.

Why the turnaround? Was it Terry? Was she still in love with her ex-husband? Was it the divorce? Had she been hurt too badly to get involved in another relationship?

Or was it him?

Trailer trash.
The crowd she’d hung out with in high school hadn’t thought much of him. Maybe, deep down, Jaclyn had a problem with his poor background, too. Or maybe she just didn’t find him appealing, for whatever reason. In any case, she’d made it clear that she wasn’t interested in a physical relationship without the possibility of marriage. And he wasn’t interested in anything that included the expectation of it.

So they were at a standoff and needed to forget about
each other. Simple. Except that they worked together and couldn’t avoid contact, which meant it wasn’t going to be easy. Especially when there were times marriage didn’t seem like such a bad trade for spending the rest of his nights in Jaclyn’s arms. Who else would he rather be with? No one. No one had ever affected him the way she did. And her kids were good kids, not nearly as difficult as Rick had been. Surely he could grow to love them….

Cole groaned. Loving them wasn’t the problem. It never had been. He simply couldn’t risk failing Jaclyn the way he’d failed Rochelle.

Kicking off the blankets, he went to the kitchen for a glass of water, then sat at the table in the dark, wearing nothing but his boxer-briefs. The weather had been completely clear for weeks. He couldn’t remember the last rain, it had been so long ago, but a storm was definitely brewing now. Clouds scuttled across the face of the moon, the wind whipped at the young trees in the yard, and it was a little chilly, even in the house.

He wondered what it would feel like to crawl into Jaclyn’s warm bed and make love to her while lightning flashed outside and thunder rumbled in the distance, and knew immediately that he had to start thinking of something else or he was going to drive himself crazy.

Maybe he should call someone. Laura. An old friend. Rick.

Cole eyed the phone. He’d purposely left his brother alone for more than a month now, hoping he’d return on his own. But he hadn’t heard from Rick, and Cole felt as if he was drifting away from everything he’d always known. He needed an anchor to remind him of the decisions he’d made before meeting Jaclyn. He’d wanted to build Perrini Homes into something so big his brothers would never again suffer the kind of want they’d known growing up. And he’d wanted to reclaim his life and live it free
from the challenges and failures associated with marriage and raising children, right?

It had all seemed crystal clear. So why was he confused now?

He just needed to talk to Rick. Rick was the missing piece of the puzzle. Cole had ignored his absence and tried not to dwell on it, but nothing was quite right without his brother.

Picking up the cordless phone, Cole dialed Rick’s number. It was the middle of the night, but he didn’t care. He’d waited too long to make this call already.

“Hello?”

“Rick?”

Rick seemed to pull himself out of sleep immediately. “Cole? Are you okay?”

“Fine. You?”

A tired sigh. “I’m hangin’ in there.”

Silence fell, and Cole knew Rick was waiting for him to explain why he’d called. He had to say something, but now that he had Rick on the phone, he didn’t know where to start.

“You see the football game last Sunday?”

“Yeah. Shame about the Forty-niners, huh? They’re not what they used to be.”

“I was gone last Sunday so I recorded it, but I could hardly bear to watch the fourth quarter.”

“It was pretty painful.”

Another silence. Cole searched his brain for other events in the world of sports, but drew a blank. He hadn’t been keeping up as well as he usually did. And it wasn’t exactly easy to segue from football into emotional matters.

“Well, I’ll let you go,” he said at last.

“Why’d you call?”

Cole hesitated. Here was his chance to say all the things he’d never said. It was time to tell Rick how much he meant to him.

Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath, but the words wouldn’t come. On separate occasions, he’d told Andrew and Brian, even Chad, that he loved them, but he couldn’t tell Rick. Maybe it was because they were so close in age. Maybe it was sibling rivalry. Or maybe Cole still resented how difficult Rick had been growing up. Cole couldn’t say for sure. He just knew he couldn’t express his feelings, even though he loved Rick just as much, maybe more, than the others.

“No reason. Just wondered if you’d caught the game,” he said.
And if you’re coming back.

“You called at three o’clock in the morning to ask if I saw the Forty-niners lose nearly a week ago?”

“Yeah.”
And to tell you things aren’t the same around here without you.

“Okay…”

“Maybe I’ll see you around sometime,” Cole said, silently praying that day would be sooner rather than later.
Come back, Rick. We’re brothers, man. We’re brothers. Nothing else matters.

“Maybe,” Rick said. He sounded hesitant, confused, but Cole couldn’t help him understand. They’d established their patterns of behavior years ago, and, as fatalistic as it sounded, Cole thought it was too late to change them now.

“Goodbye,” he said, and hung up. Then he sat staring out the window, listening to the wind howl outside.

J
ACLYN TOOK A BOLSTERING
breath when she heard Terry’s truck pull into her driveway. At least he was on time today, she thought, zipping the duffel bag she’d just packed for Alyssa. He’d pick up the children and leave, then she’d be free to…to do anything, really. She could watch television or grab a bite to eat. Or maybe she’d call Margaret to see if she wanted to go to a movie. They’d never done anything together outside the office before, but they seemed to get along well enough.

“Dad’s here!” Alex called from the front of the house.

Mackenzie and Alyssa went running down the hall to meet their father, while Jaclyn gathered their bags and carried them to the living room. Terry was just coming into the house, dripping from the rain.

“They’re all set,” she said when she saw him. “Oh, wait.” She handed him the bags, then dashed down the hall to retrieve Pinkie, the teddy bear Alyssa slept with at night. “You wouldn’t want to forget Pinkie,” she said when she returned.

Terry took the stuffed bear and put it on top of the bags he’d piled near the front door. “We’ll take Pinkie when we go,” he said, “but first, we have a surprise for you.”

“You do?”

“We do?” Mackenzie echoed.

Terry’s smile reminded Jaclyn of the man she used to know, the Terry she’d fallen in love with.

“Yep,” he told the kids. “We’re going to take your mother out to dinner for her birthday.”

Jaclyn tucked her hair behind her ears and straightened in surprise. He remembered? He cared? After a year of hostility between them, after last Saturday at the motel, she didn’t know how to respond to this sudden reversal. Where was the sullen expression he usually wore in her presence? The anger in his eyes?

“That’s very nice of you,” she said, “but…”

“But what?” he asked. “Don’t tell me you already have plans.”

He didn’t mention Cole’s name, but Jaclyn knew he was thinking about him. She’d been thinking about Cole, too. Only now she was glad she’d never worked up the courage to ask him to be with her tonight. Terry would have blown a gasket if she’d had to say no on Cole’s account, and she wasn’t up for an ugly scene. “No plans.”

“Then, why not spend the evening with your family?”

He hadn’t said “with your kids.” He’d said “with your
family.” But they weren’t a family anymore. Jaclyn didn’t feel good about going anywhere with Terry. She would actually prefer to stay home alone. But the kids were all speaking at once, yelling “surprise” and putting in their bid on where they should go.

“I like Chuck E. Cheese’s,” Alyssa said.

“No, I want to go to McDonald’s,” Mackenzie argued. “I’m tired of pizza.”

“Dad’s not going to take Mom out for fast food,” Alex told them. “He’s going to take her to a fancy place. Right, Dad?”

“I was thinking about the seafood buffet at the Pepper-mill,” Terry said.

“Gross! I hate seafood!” Mackenzie cried.

Jaclyn knew Alex hated it, too. Normally he would have been the first to complain, but tonight he was throwing his support behind his father, probably hoping dinner would start something that would bring his parents back together. She didn’t want to fuel those hopes, but she didn’t know how to get out of something as simple as letting Terry take her and the kids to dinner for her birthday. At least, not gracefully.

“Okay,” she relented. “I’ll grab jackets. But I don’t want to stay out long. With this storm I don’t want you on the road too late.”

Terry promised they’d eat quickly and head back, but once they finished dinner, he insisted on taking the whole family to Circus Circus, where they played carnival games and watched the circus acts. It was after ten o’clock by the time he let Jaclyn drag them home.

“Did we surprise you? Did you have fun, Mom?” Alex asked, as they waited beneath the overhang while she unlocked the front door to the house.

“Of course.” Jaclyn put on a smile for her son’s benefit as she swung the door open and they crowded past her. Terry had been the epitome of a good date—attentive, gen
erous, fun-loving. There’d been moments she
had
enjoyed herself, but they were generally when he was preoccupied with one child while she played a game with another. She wanted things to be different between them than they’d been over the previous year. She especially wanted Terry to cooperate more fully with her when it came to the kids. But she didn’t know how to respond to a loving, solicitous Terry after knowing such a bitter, sullen one for so much of the recent past.

“I had a great time,” she said. “I appreciate dinner, but I’m worried about how late it’s getting. You guys better hit the road.”

“Oh, come on,” Terry said. “It’s miserable out, and it’s Friday night. Why don’t we put the kids to bed and watch a movie? We can always leave in the morning.”

Why not?
Because she wasn’t interested, that was why. But once again Alex swung his support to Terry’s side.

“You know how tired Dad gets at night, Mom. You wouldn’t want him driving with us on these slick roads when he’s like that.”

Jaclyn’s heart sank. Alex was right. She didn’t want to risk the safety of her kids or anyone else. But neither did she want her ex-husband as a houseguest. “
Are
you tired?” she asked, still hoping for a way out.

Terry shot down that hope in a hurry. “Yeah, I got up at four-thirty this morning, and I’m starting to feel it.”

He certainly hadn’t felt it at Circus Circus. Each time she’d suggested they go, he’d thought of something else they should see or do. “Won’t your folks be worried?” she asked.

“I could always give them a call.”

She was caught. She didn’t want Terry in her house, but suggesting he get a motel room wouldn’t sound very nice, especially after he’d just taken her out to dinner. Besides, Alex was monitoring every nuance of her behavior, and she was tired of coming off as the bad guy. Terry was the
children’s father. She had put up with him for twelve years; she could certainly put up with him for one more night, couldn’t she? It was bedtime already. She could feign exhaustion and turn in. Morning would come before she knew it.

“Okay,” she told Terry. “You can stay, but I’m pretty tired. I’m definitely not up for a movie.”

He didn’t seem pleased with this response, but he took a seat in front of the television and didn’t push her.

Jaclyn put the kids to bed while he watched the news. Then she made him a bed on the couch. “If you get cold, there’s extra bedding in that closet,” she told him.

“Don’t you ever get cold?” he asked.

“What?”

“Never mind.”

“What did you say?” she asked again.

“Nothing. Good night.”

Jaclyn said good-night, then retreated to her room.

And I was afraid I’d be alone on my birthday!

She thought of Cole and how she’d wanted to go out with him tonight, and wished she’d had the nerve to ask him, after all. So what if it had started a fight with Terry? At least they would have stayed on familiar ground. The way Terry was behaving now…well, it was just plain odd. It made her feel as if he was setting some sort of trap.

T
HE DOORKNOB JIGGLED
,
waking Jaclyn from a sound sleep. At first she thought it was Alyssa, who sometimes climbed into bed with her in the middle of the night, but then she heard her name.

“Jackie?”

Terry!
What did he want? She leaned up on her elbows to check the time, thinking it was two or later, but her alarm clock showed that it wasn’t quite midnight. Evidently, Terry hadn’t gone to bed yet.

“Is something wrong?” she asked.

“Can I talk to you?”

It was early October and still raining, definitely cool. Jaclyn didn’t normally sleep in something so heavy, but she’d pulled on a flannel nightgown tonight, so modesty wasn’t a problem.