We Shall Rise (34 page)

It had been nearly two miserable weeks without him, Reysa lamented as she soaked in the Jacuzzi. Unfortunately, the heated water could not erase the ache in her heart or the longing for what she had lost. No matter how hard she tried, there was no escaping the memories of him. His touch. His taste. His smile that melted away her resolve. There was no denying she missed him, but then she thought about their last conversation and the hurt she felt when he walked away. She gave him all that was her and he still walked away. That pain eroded any desire to contact him, to search for him. She would never chase him. Even if he were to come back now, she doubted she could forgive him.

She had to stop thinking about him. Too much was happening and she had to focus on protecting her family and friends. Adam and Even has escaped the siege in Vancouver. No doubt they would continue stealing innocent children and planning their war of revenge. They needed to be stopped. They had to pay for what they had done. This battle became even more personal now that Reysa knew they had taken her father and tortured him. She wondered how much of the torture he felt. He seemed trapped in his own world of misery. He had aged despite the eternal youth he should have been blessed with as a vampire. Starvation perhaps, but not for blood. Most likely still hungering for the mate he lost. The mate who died giving birth to the child he never wanted.

Reysa spent most days trying to talk to him, but his only response was the all too familiar deafening silence that left her cold and empty. She knew not to expect anything else from him, but she couldn’t help but hope. She wanted so much to have him be her father. The father he was never able to be. After almost eighty years, the child inside she tried so hard to suppress still yearned for her father’s love. When would she ever learn she thought? She refused to make the same mistake with the child she carried within her.

Kaden did not want this baby and she would not force it on him. No child deserved to be unloved. Both of them had grown up experiencing rejection from their father. Kaden was tormented by his while she was neglected.

Reysa knew she couldn’t blame her father for everything. In the end, she had abandoned him. She had hoped he would look for her, but he never came. Maybe he had truly believed she died that day. Part of her hoped for that. At least that would mean it wasn’t apathy that kept him away all this time.

There were so many questions she wanted to ask of him, but talking to him was pointless. It was like she was barely there. She was tempted to ask Lina to help her enter his mind the way Lina allowed Lucian to rescue Olivia when she was trapped in her dreams. Bringing others into dreams took its toll on Lina. After helping Lucian, she slept for a week straight and even after awakening, it took days before she had her full strength. No. Reysa could not ask her to use her power in this way. Only if it were an emergency and this was not urgent. Besides, he would likely be as catatonic in his dream as he was in the flesh. Maybe it was time to except that Ibrahim Masoonda was really gone. Although it pained her heart, denial would just make it worse in the long run.

Reysa closed her eyes and soaked further in the tub allowing the whirlpool jets to massage her tired skin. The lavender scented bubble bath calming her nerves and allowing her to finally relax. She was almost asleep when she heard a gentle knock on the door.

Christian entered, looking as relaxed and casual as usual in his khaki shorts, white tank and flip flops. His blonde locks mussed as if he had just rolled out of bed. Reysa looked at him with an amused smile on her face. He really did resemble a California surfer dude.

Christian was incredibly gorgeous. No woman could resist those teasing golden eyes and cheeky grin that would melt the hardest of hearts. One day he would find the woman that would complete him. Unlike vampires, lycans often found mates. No doubt someone was waiting for Christian to find her and then he would belong to another. Reysa wasn’t looking forward to sharing him. He had been her rock for so long. The one constant in her life that never let her down.

As much as she wanted to selfishly keep him at her side, she wanted even more for him to find love. He was too good of a male to walk this earth alone. She would do anything to ensure he found that ultimate happiness even if it meant sacrificing her own. She would let him go. She loved him enough to let him go.

It was nice to see him smiling again. After that incident at the demon’s lair, he had been quite sullen and a little distant from her. It was if he were afraid to be too close to her. His discomfort clearly passed and now he was interrupting her bubble bath like he belonged there. That was her Chris, Reysa smiled.

“What’s so funny?” Christian asked as he sat on the side of the tub.

“You. Always you, Chris.”

“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?”

“It’s a perfect thing,” Reysa assured him as she lay back allowing the bubbles to engulf her.

“Well, considering your somber mood of late, I’m glad I can still make you laugh even if just for a moment.” Christian kicked off his flip flops and soaked his legs in the water. He was tempted to join her in the bath as they had done for years since they were children. It was always innocent and harmless to them, but he knew things were different now. Kaden might not be here at the moment, but his presence made Christian realize that both he and Reysa belonged to others. He had not found his mate, but she was likely out there waiting for him. He and Reysa needed more boundaries in their relationship. No more sharing baths or beds. Technically, he shouldn’t be in here now, but this was their place to talk. It always had been. They could go into the bathroom and shut out the rest of the world just for a little while. Here they would confide in one another all their fears and desires. This was their place.

Christian wasn’t prepared to let that go. This was one thing he would not concede. Reysa would always be his best friend, his sister, his soul mate. Just because they were not and never would be lovers did not mean their bond wasn’t as important. She was his and he was hers even if their bodies and souls belonged to others. Reysa was permanently etched into his heart and he knew she carved out a spot for him in hers.

Watching her misery these last weeks were like a knife to his heart. He would have given anything to dull the ache that dimmed the light in her eyes. He wanted to thrash Kaden and he probably would when he saw him again, but killing the leech wouldn’t ease Reysa’s pain. It would just make it worse. As much as he wanted to flay Kaden, he would have to tolerate him, but he would make him pay a little when he found him. No one hurt his girl.

In the meantime, he would have to be supportive. He hated to admit it, but Reysa’s happiness was tied to Kaden. She deserved better, but they couldn’t choose their mates. The fates made that questionable choice and Christian had to accept it, although he would spend the rest of his days cursing the fates for tying her down to someone too immature to be worthy of her.

“You know I want to kill him, love, but I know that’s not what you want. I guess I can somewhat understand his reaction.” Reysa could not hide her surprise at that unexpected admission by Christian. “Don’t get me wrong, he’s an ass of grand proportions, but I think he panicked. Fatherhood could send a man into a state of hysteria. I would know. I didn’t exactly handle it with the grace and dignity I exude now,” Christian teased. “I was an absolute mess when she was born. It was you who slapped me back into sanity.”

Christian recalled how he felt the day Tatiana came into their lives. Reysa was determined to keep the child while he had an anxiety attack.

They had heard the cries of a woman in severe pain and followed the voice intending to rescue her from the predator causing her agony. They traced the voice until they found the woman huddled near a bush in the woods. Little did they know that the predator was this tiny angel fighting to make her way into the world. Tatiana’s mother begged them to help and they tried not knowing the first thing to do. They were both so afraid, but Reysa took charge.

She directed Christian to position himself behind the woman allowing her to rest her weary body on him so she could use the rest of her strength to push the child out. There was so much blood. Neither had delivered a child before, but both knew that this was too much blood. This was dangerous. Reysa whipped out her cell to call for help, but the woman stopped her. She begged them not to tell anyone. She kept yelling that the child was special. She had to be protected.

They tried to convince the woman that without help she would not survive, but she told them she was not meant to survive. She was meant to bring this child into this world and then fade into the darkness. Before Reysa could protest, the contractions increased rapidly and the woman pushed with all her strength to deliver Tatiana. Reysa held the tiny little girl in her arms, instantly falling in love. Tears flowed from her eyes, but then she realized this was not her child to love. She proceeded to give the child to the mother, but she refused to take her. “She’s yours now. Protect her. I see love for her in your eyes. You will be a good mother to her,” she turned to face Christian who was still holding her, “as you will be a father. This was destined. The fates never lie.” The woman took her last breath and closed her eyes forever.

Reysa was left holding this squirming child, not know the first thing to do. Christian searched the woman for some way to identify her. She had to have family. Someone who could be responsible for this child. Neither of them was prepared. He found a driver’s license in the woman’s purse and used that to investigate her background. Meanwhile, they had brought the child home to a delighted Savannah. Even Alejandro and Broderick seemed please. The only one who wasn’t was Christian
.

“I didn’t want to keep her,” Christian confessed. “I hate to admit that now. I adore that child with everything in me, but at the time I just wanted her to go away.” Christian had spent days trying to find out about her birth mother. All he discovered was her name, Jeanette Dawson, and that she was a hybrid charmer from Seattle. Her parents had died when she was six. She was an orphan. There was no family, no one to take care of Tatiana. “There was no one else. I wanted to run away and I almost did once.”

Christian had never admitted this to Reysa. She knew he was reluctant to keep Tatiana, but he never admitted the breadth of his fear. “When? You never left me.”

“I tried to. I got as far as the next town store before I came back to the house, ashamed of my fear and for even contemplating leaving you behind. I could never leave you. I promised you that I never would and I couldn’t break that promise. Tati was sleeping in the bassinet and you were unconscious. I watched her as she slept. Suddenly, she opened her eyes and focused them on me. She gave me this little grin. Yes, it was probably gas, but it softened my hardened heart. I just melted. I fell desperately in love with her at that moment. I fell asleep with her in my arms and I haven’t let go since.”

“Unlike Kaden, you came back before I even knew you left,” Reysa acknowledged.

“Yeah Rey, but I had over seventy years of love with you, and it was loved based on friendship. You and Kaden have had what, a couple of months, and most of that time was spent griping at one another. We act like as soon as you find your mate, you instantly fall madly in love and it’s like you’ve known each other for centuries. That’s utter crap. Relationships take time. Trust takes time. That applies to immortals just as it does to humans. Let’s not forget your boy has a lot of issues. He carries a ten piece set of oversized luggage on his back. I can’t believe I’m defending this guy, but he isn’t exactly known for his relationship building skills. This is all new to him. First he finds you and then it’s you plus one, Tatiana, and then it’s you plus another one, the child you’re carrying. Don’t forget all of the craziness that’s The Lore that he has to get used to. And then there is me, the man who has been in your life since you were four. Of course he feels threatened by us no matter what we say about our relationship. This is a lot to handle. I’m not saying he handled it well. He handled it like a gutless coward, but it’s not completely incomprehensible. I can’t completely pass judgment on him because to be honest, I don’t know if I would have done much better. I think most men are gutless cowards when it comes to this stuff.”

Reysa eyed him incredulously. She knew Christian hated Kaden. In fact, he seemed almost as angry about Kaden’s disappearance as she was up until now. How could he sit here and now defend Kaden? “I can’t believe those words escaped your lips. You were condemning Kaden for the past two weeks and now you understand him? What’s going on?”

Christian expected her suspicion. “I stopped being angry for a moment and tried to look at this from his perspective. Believe me, love, he was wrong in what he did and how he responded, but I’m just saying that he’s not the first guy to panic and act badly out of fear. Fear is like a cancer that just eats away at your courage. Even if you know the right thing to do, you can’t muster up the valor necessary to do it. I just want you to keep that in mind before you close the door to him forever. People make mistakes and Kaden is the vampire king of dumb ass decisions.”

Christian stepped out of the tub and toweled off his legs. He could feel Reysa’s wrathful stare searing his back. “Look Reysa, the two most important things in my life are your happiness and Tatiana’s. I would do anything for either of you. Just think about what I’ve said. You don’t have to agree, but don’t hate me for saying it. I don’t want to see you make a huge mistake for the wrong reasons. Love is a rare gift and finding your mate is even rarer. We can’t choose the one we get, but we can choose to fight to make it work. Whatever you do, I will always be here for you. Never doubt that.”