Well-Tempered Clavicle (12 page)

“I am Princess Dawn,” Dawn called. “I am on a Quest for the Good Magician. My friends the walking skeletons and animal pets are helping. I may need your help too.”

“Now that’s interesting,” Granola said. “Let’s talk. I will lie down so as to be on your level.”

“Thank you!” Dawn called back.

There was a rumbling and shaking of the ground as the giantess got down off the ledge, then dropped to the ground beside them. They saw small plants and foliage flattening as her body pressed down on them. Then her voice came from about head height, because her head was on the ground. “I have lived a long, dull life,” Granola said. “I always longed for adventure, but opportunities for female invisible giants are few. How do you think I might help you, Princess?”

Dawn explained about the Quest, and the name on the list. “So if you have any way to locate Caprice Castle, we need you,” she concluded.

“I confess to being intrigued,” Granola said. “I am not familiar with this Caprice Castle, probably because it has no fixed location. Locating it should be a diverting challenge. But I am not at all sure I can help you with that.”

“The Good Magician evidently believes you can help,” Dawn said. “He may be old, obscure, and grumpy, but he is never wrong. There must be a way.”

“I have heard of him,” Granola agreed.

“Do you have a magic talent?” Picka asked.

“I do, but that’s a story in itself, because we giants all have the same magic of invisibility. That prevents us from alarming too many mini-sized folk. So my talent was inflicted on me. I doubt it would be useful in this context.”

“Maybe our challenge is to figure out how it can help,” Joy’nt said.

“What is it?” Picka asked.

“It is to find whatever I seek in the next to last place I look for it.”

There was a silence of at least a moment and a half as they digested this. “I don’t think I understand,” Joy’nt said. “I thought anything looked for was always in the last place looked, because then you stop looking.”

“Normally it is,” Granola agreed. “That’s why this is a curse. It is frustrating as anything. It is my
pun
ishment.” There was a special emphasis on the first syllable.

“Is that really a pun?” Dawn asked. “It seems more like a paradox. Something impossible.”

“Maybe Litho didn’t properly understand the definition of a pun.”

“Litho?” Dawn asked. “As in the Demon Litho, associated with rock?”

“That one,” Granola agreed grimly.

“I think we had better hear your whole story,” Dawn said. “Even the peripheral involvement of a Demon is mischievous news.”

Picka knew she was serious. Her sister had married a Dwarf Demon, and possibly not entirely happily.

“It’s not much of a story,” Granola said. “You might be bored.”

“We have patience,” Picka said.

“It was this way. Several centuries ago, when I was young and lithe, said by some to be the prettiest teen invisible giantess of the region, I lived only for excitement and adventure. I discovered that I could turn male giants’ heads merely by the way I walked.” She paused half a moment. “I should clarify that we giants can see each other, and when we are young we don’t wear much if any clothing. There’s really no need, since others can’t see us anyway. We’re related to the transparents, except that we aren’t ghostlike and of course we are larger. So things show, for those who can see us, like giants and demons.”

“We understand,” Dawn said.

“There was some kind of a party going on, so I went to look. In those days I liked to spy on human affairs. It’s amazing what an invisible person can see if she gets close enough and keeps quiet enough and doesn’t smell. I knew all about summoning the stork, just from watching folk at the fringes of parties. I had never done it, but I knew about it.

“Then just as this one was getting interesting, I felt a hand on my shoulder. I jumped, because I hadn’t known any other giant was there. And it turned out to be the Demon Litho, who had been watching me while I watched the small folk. Demons of any kind can change their size, of course.”

“Of course,” Dawn agreed.

“Litho had rock under Xanth. But he also had a small separate planet. He offered to take me there for a visit. But I was wary, not certain exactly what he might want of me in return. Males of any type tend to have limited perspectives on the uses of females. So I told him no.”

“Good for you,” Dawn murmured.

“That was when I learned that Demons don’t like to take no for an answer. He was so angry that his planet exploded into a million fragments. Now there’s no planet there, just the asteroid belt. Naturally I fled. But just before he exploded he cursed me to have to spend the rest of my life with a nasty pun or equivalent, like a paradox. That’s how I came to have my talent. It drives me to distraction when I think about it, so I try not to. I think if I had known what a frustration it would be, I might have visited his planet. After all, he was reasonably handsome.”

“It may not be such a bad curse,” Dawn said. “I think you were right not to get involved with him. He might have trapped you on that planet and made you do nothing but signal the stork twelve times a day.”

“It would not be a curse at all, if I could only use it,” Granola said. “But I never find anything I look for, because it’s always in the place I looked at just before I stop looking.”

“Can’t you go back to the prior place?” Joy’nt asked.

“No, because then that becomes the last place I look at, and it’s no longer there. I know I’m close, but I can never actually find it.”

“That’s why Litho did it,” Joy’nt said. “He got very close to you, and wanted you, but he couldn’t quite get you. So he cursed you similarly.”

“I suppose so,” Granola agreed. “But why don’t you think it so bad?”

“Because I think we can get around it and make it useful. You were trying to use it alone, but if you had company, you might be able to locate things.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Maybe we can demonstrate. Picka, why don’t you hide something somewhere around here? Joy’nt, you can help Granola look for it.”

“I will hide this blue pebble I just found,” Picka said, picking it up.

“Don’t look,” Dawn told Granola. “Nobody look.”

Picka walked in a general circle beyond the cliff, passing behind several trees. He tucked the pebble into a knothole in a branch on a snowshoe tree. The snowshoes were melting before they matured, in this warm weather. He walked on, completing his circle, then rejoined the others. “I have hidden it.”

“Now look for it,” Dawn told Granola.

The giantess got up carefully, but the ground still shuddered with her movements. “I will carry this branch, so you know where I am going,” she said. A branch rose from the ground and hovered.

First she looked along the cliff. “Not here,” she said.

“I will mark this spot,” Dawn said. “First place looked.”

Then Granola walked around a tree. “Not here.”

“I will mark the spot,” Dawn repeated, going there. “Second place looked.”

Granola tapped the ledge she had been sleeping on. “Not here. I give up; I can’t find it.” She got back down on the ground, rejoining their level.

“Then this is the next-to-last spot you looked,” Dawn said, going to the snowshoe tree. “And now I see it! In a knothole in a branch. I can’t think why I didn’t see it before.”

“Because if you could see it,” Picka said, “you would have found it before she looked in the next place. The curse prevented you, even if it was in plain sight, which it was.”

“Which it was,” Dawn agreed. “But once she gave up looking, and I remained here, I could see it. Because while the curse may prevent Granola from seeing it, it lacks staying power with me. It got spread too thin and lost focus.”

“Amazing,” Granola said. “You are the first person to have been able to make use of my talent.”

“So you
can
help us,” Dawn said. “Will you?”

“Yes!” They were almost blown over with the force of her exhalation.

“What would you like in return for your help?”

“Just participating is more than enough. I’m an old giantess who has lived her life and don’t have many material needs. All I ever lacked was a mission and excitement. You have shown me how to finally use my talent! That’s a greater reward than I ever anticipated. So please, don’t change your mind. Let’s just get on with the search.”

Dawn glanced at the others, including the pets. “Is this okay with the rest of you?”

All of them nodded agreement.

“Then I think we have a deal,” Dawn said, satisfied.

7

M
USIC

“Tell me what you are looking for,” Granola said.

“Pundora’s Box,” Dawn reminded her.

“Oh, yes, of course. That’s in our recent fables.” There was a pause. “I don’t know where it is, but I have an idea where to look. But it’s not close to here.”

“So we’ll travel there.” Now Dawn paused. “But we won’t be able to keep up with you even if you take very small steps. Would you be willing to carry us?”

“Certainly. I’ll put you in my handbag.”

“All right. Where is it?”

“Right here.” There was a thunk on the ground before them.

“It’s invisible too!” Joy’nt exclaimed. “Of course.”

“I made it from my own hair. Our skin, nails, and hair are all invisible. When we eat, the food is visible until it enters our bodies; then our skin hides it. So we don’t waste our hair, so we can carry things without being seen by visible folk.”

“That makes sense,” Dan agreed. “But how do we find it?”

“Woof!”

They laughed. Of course Woofer could sniff it out.

Picka went to it first. He discovered a massive bag taller than he was. It did seem to be made of hanks of hair. He felt the side, which was loosely braided. He caught hold with his finger bones and toe bones and climbed up. Soon he was able to peer into it from the edge.

There was an assortment of visible things inside. Fruit, giant hairpins, a huge hankie, a similarly enormous comb, a bottle of perfume, a monstrous pair of sandals, gloves. Even a tremendous bra and panty. She was a woman, all right. There was only one thing he couldn’t identify: a sort of hexagonal bellows with handles on the ends.

Picka climbed over the top and dropped inside.

“Hey!” Joy’nt exclaimed. “He vanished!”

“He is in the bag,” Granola explained reassuringly. “It conceals whatever is inside.”

But Picka could see them clearly. “I’m inside,” he agreed loudly, “but I can see you, Joy’nt.”

Soon Joy’nt and Dawn joined him. “Your underwear is not invisible,” Dawn called up to the giantess.

“That’s my original underclothing,” Granola said. “Later I wove replacements out of my hair, and those are invisible. But I didn’t throw away the old ones, in case I should ever need them again.”

“That does make sense,” Dawn agreed.

“My early, visible clothing I got from a helpful wear-wolf,” Granola continued. “She was a bitch who could conjure clothing.”

“She was a what?” Joy’nt asked, startled.

“A female wolf is a bitch,” Dawn explained. “She would be affronted if you called her a girl.”

“She would indeed,” Granola agreed. “Her brother was a where wolf; he could tell where anyone was at the moment. I envied him, because my own talent is so clumsy in comparison.”

“What is the bellows?” Picka asked.

“That’s my concertina. I like music in my private time. I won’t play it if it bothers you.”

“Not at all,” Picka said, gratified. “We like music too. Dawn has an ocarina, and I … well, I have my bones.”

“Bones?”

“I discovered recently that I can play notes on my ribs,” Picka explained, hoping she wouldn’t laugh. “Any tune I hear, I can play. I haven’t done it much.”

“But do you like music?” Granola asked.

“Actually, I find I do,” Picka said, embarrassed. “Now that I have discovered I can play a tune.”

“And you, Princess?”

“I love it,” Dawn said. “I’m not great at it, but my sister and I really enjoyed our sessions together.”

“And you, Joy’nt?”

“I know nothing about music, alas,” Joy’nt said.

“Long ago I found a pair of maracas. They are way too small for me to use, but I didn’t want to waste them, so I saved them. Would you like to have them?”

“I don’t know,” Joy’nt said, taken aback. “What are they?”

“Small gourd-shaped rattles on sticks. You shake them, and they make a sound. They can keep a beat. That can enhance the music made by other instruments. They are in my handbag somewhere, if you delve for them.”

Joy’nt delved, and in no more than a moment and a quarter found them. She shook them experimentally. They made a pleasant dry-seed sound. “I like it,” she said.

“Then let’s make music,” Granola said, pleased.

Picka saw Dawn consider. He knew she wanted to get on with the mission. But it was getting late in the day, and they still hardly knew the giantess. This could be a way. “Yes, let’s,” she agreed, bringing out her ocarina.

They climbed out of the handbag, and Granola reached in to bring out her concertina. She was invisible, but it was visible, so it seemed to be floating in midair and playing itself. Picka realized that this could be a reason she didn’t play it often, or at least not by daylight. They settled in a half circle before the invisible giant and readied their instruments.

They heard a stirring as Granola sat up so she could play her concertina, and the instrument rose up higher. At least it gave them a better notion exactly where she was. “What song?” she asked.

“What do we all know?” Dawn asked in return.

They considered, and found that they did not have any songs in common. What were they to do?

“What about ‘Ghost of Tom’?” Joy’nt asked. “That’s pretty simple. Picka and I know it, and we could teach it to you. It’s a Mundane song that got picked up by the night mares because it’s useful for bad dreams, but it’s really rather pretty.”

“How does it go?” Granola asked.

Picka removed his clavicles and bonged them on his ribs. He knew the tune, so played it perfectly the first time. Joy’nt sang it with him. They weren’t great vocalists, but they were able to do it with the help of his perfect notes.