Wesley backed away from Benny and nodded. “Yeah, it’s in my car.”
“Is he cool?” Benny asked, glaring at me.
Wesley furrowed his brows. “Don’t worry about it. Toren, you comin’?”
At his car, Wesley searched under the passenger seat and pulled out a small bag. Benny gave him ten dollars and pocketed the bag. Wesley rested his arm on the open door and put his other hand on his hip.
Wes & Toren
13
“So…you wanna hook up later and pick up some chicas?” Benny asked, glancing over his shoulder at me. I felt strange standing there, like a tag-along or a fifth wheel.
“Nah…got stuff to do. See ya around,” Wesley said. Benny sneered and walked off. Wesley stepped to the side and held the door open for me. “Get in.”
I sat down and pushed my book bag down on the floor and Wesley shut the door. He got in and turned down the radio before starting the car.
“Man, that guy annoys the hell outta me. You know, don’t tell anyone, but sometimes I cut in a little dill weed or oregano with his stuff,” he said. “He’s such a dumbass too; he’s never noticed. But, caveat emptor and all that shit.”
I was mostly surprised that the words “caveat emptor” came from his mouth. I laughed a little and Wesley lifted the clutch and tore out of the parking lot.
We got to his house and Wesley offered me a drink but I declined politely. I sat down and pulled out my Spanish text. I heard the refrigerator door shut and the clink of bottles. Wesley came into the living room with a brown bottle and a glass of soda.
“I didn’t know what you wanted, so I brought you some pop,” he said, sitting down next to me. I thanked him and leaned to my side. We were sitting shoulder to shoulder. His leg was pressed against mine.
“The—the exam’ll cover chapters twelve and thirteen,” I said, opening my book and flipping through the pages.
Wesley groaned quietly and retrieved his book bag from the front door. He sat close to me again and I inhaled deeply. His scent was mixed with tobacco and beer and he looked at me from the corner of his eye. I stared at my textbook and took quiet, deep breaths.
“Ms. Harper said there’ll be a lot of vocab on the test, so we better go over that, and also she said to study verb tenses,” I said, finally finding chapter 12 after flipping through the pages aimlessly. Wesley 14
J. M. Colail
watched me as much as he looked at his textbook and I felt nervous under his constant gaze.
We had reviewed chapter 12 and most of 13 when Wesley yawned and suggested we take a break. He stretched his arms over his head and then sat back with his beer and lit a cigarette.
“We’re—we’re almost done, so let’s just finish up chapter thirteen, okay?
“All right,” Wesley moaned, setting down the bottle and picking up the textbook.
We went through the rest of chapter, doing some of the suggested exercises in the outline. He had a good accent, pronouncing syllables like a native speaker. I was better at reading and writing than speaking and on occasion, Wesley would correct me if I mispronounced a word. I was surprised that I was actually learning something from him.
When we had finished chapter 13, Wesley put his hands behind his head and held his cigarette between his lips. I took another sip of my soda and began putting my things in my bag.
“The test is gonna have a lot of vocab on it, so you should go over that again once or twice.”
“You’re leaving already?” Wesley asked. He sat up on the edge of the sofa and rested his cigarette in the ashtray.
My heart started beating faster and I swallowed hard. “Yeah.
I’ve—I’ve got a lot of other homework to do.” I was having trouble fitting the textbook into my book bag.
“Well, that can wait a while. We just finished studying; relax a little.” He inched closer to me, leaving his cigarette burning in the ashtray. “Besides, I still have to thank you for helping me.”
I felt the warmth of his body next to me and he neared his way closer to my lips, teasing me with anticipation that I desperately tried to conceal. He brought his hand to my chin, turning my face to him. He still had a grin on his face, but it was a little different. With his thumb, he pulled my chin down and kissed me. His lips were chapped but they Wes & Toren
15
were soft too. He caressed my cheek and I closed my eyes. His kiss radiated through my entire body.
He said he wanted to “thank” me for helping him study. Was that why? Because he needed help with schoolwork and he thought this was how he could repay me? I pulled back and looked down into my lap.
“You…should make flashcards,” I whispered absentmindedly, feeling for my book bag.
“Hunh?”
“It’ll help you memorize the vocab,” I said. I could feel tears welling in my eyes and I pushed them back. “I have to go. Sorry. But I have to go,” I said, grabbing my book bag and rushing to the door.
Wesley stared at me and said my name once but he didn’t follow me.
16
J. M. Colail
I WOKE with sticky sheets and morning wood that almost hurt. The dream faded quickly with consciousness, but I remembered the feel of Wesley’s kiss and I met the throbbing ache between the sheets.
I sank back into bed. My cheeks reddened as I pulled back the covers and saw the result of my dream. I stripped the sheets, balled them up tightly, and stepped out of my bedroom, nearly bumping into Alycia.
She jumped back and her small breasts jiggled beneath her white tank-top. She furrowed her brows at me.
“What the hell, Toren? I just did laundry the other day!” she complained, seeing the bundle of sheets in my arms. My cheeks turned a deeper red and she arched her eyebrows knowingly. “Nuh-uh. You gotta wash out your own DNA—new house rule,” she said and disappeared into the bathroom.
I shook my head and hoped that this wasn’t an indication of how the rest of the day would go. I felt nervous already; I didn’t know how to act around Wesley. I didn't know if he’d told everyone about what happened, if I would be made a laughingstock. My shoulders slumped and I sighed heavily.
“Hey, move it! Or you’re gonna be late!” Alycia shouted, walking past me. “Why are you just standing there?” She looked back at me and touched my forehead. “Do you feel all right?”
Maybe I could stay home; no, there was the Spanish test. “Yeah, I’m okay.” I shifted the load in my arms and Alycia patted my cheek.
Wes & Toren
17
“All right. Well, hurry up. You want a ham sandwich for lunch again?”
I nodded and Alycia trotted off to her room. I dropped the sheets into a laundry basket and figured I’d wash them when I got home. I took a cold shower and then left for school. Nothing seemed different; everyone was just ignoring me like they always had.
Wesley was late to Spanish again. Ms. Harper was already passing out the tests and she scolded him for being late on exam day.
I couldn’t bear to look at Wesley. Just seeing his face reminded me of my dream and the sticky sheets this morning. I didn’t know what to do or what to say to him. I left Spanish class quickly and took my book bag with me to History so I wouldn’t have to talk to him after class if he followed me to my locker.
The sunny morning had faded into a gray and murky afternoon.
The pouring rain complemented my mood and, of course, I forgot my umbrella at home. I waited under the overhang at the front of the school, watching kids dash for the buses or to their cars in the parking lot.
“Boy, it’s really coming down hard, isn’t it?” Wesley stood behind me with his book bag over his shoulder. He had one hand in his pocket and a slight smile on his face. “You don’t plan on walking home in this, do you?”
“I’m just waiting for it to let up.”
“Who knows when that’ll be? I’ll give you a ride,” he said and smiled, tilting his head toward the parking lot. I shook my head but Wesley persisted. “C’mon, what’s the big deal?” He grabbed my wrist and pulled me into the rain. I tried to pull my hand away, but he held tight until I followed him willingly.
I whispered thanks, but I don’t think he heard me.
He sped through the driving rain, taking corners without braking, even though I told him where to turn long before it came up. The windshield wipers slapped frantically and the sky seemed even darker.
“Thanks for the ride,” I said over the plunking rain and the moan of the idling engine.
18
J. M. Colail
“What, you’re not even gonna invite me in after I saved your butt from getting soaked?” he asked with a smile.
“Oh, um, I guess…if you want to,” I stuttered, gripping the straps of my backpack.
“Cool. Where should I park?”
We ran to my building and tried to dry off a bit on the stairs to the third floor. He waited patiently while I fumbled getting the key in the lock. I opened the door and Wesley stepped in, his hands in his pockets. I dropped my book bag by the door and noticed that Wesley didn’t bring his.
“So this is where you live. It’s…cozy,” he said.
“I know that’s just a polite way of saying small,” I answered with a shy laugh. “But it’s just me, my mom, and my sister, so it serves the purpose.”
“Just you, your mom, and your sister?” he echoed, looking around the living room and into the small kitchen that opens onto it. “Where are they?”
“My mom works the mid-shift at the hospital and my sister has swim practice after school.”
“Oh. So…it’s just us, then?” Wesley smiled and looked at me with his deep, brown eyes. My stomach felt hollow.
“Do—do you want something to drink? We’ve got soda, orange juice…. I can make some coffee, if you want,” I said, looking toward the kitchen.
I was trapped between him and the door. “Let’s cut through the bullshit, Toren.” He grinned and put his hand flat on the door, over my shoulder.
“What do you mean?” I was trying hard to sound innocent.
Wesley lifted my chin with his hand and grinned again. “You know exactly what I mean,” he said and kissed me.
Wes & Toren
19
His kiss was amazing, overflowing my senses, and I closed my eyes. My body tensed and I pulled back, looking down. “Why—why are you doing this?”
“Because I like you. And I think you like me too.” It was just for a second, but I saw his confidence slip. “Don’t you?” His grin came back.
I looked away. I knew I was blushing bright red. Wesley chuckled quietly. I looked up and his expression was sincere. My stomach tightened.
“It’s okay. You don’t have to say it if you don’t want to. But show me. Kiss me back, Toren.”
He took his hand from the door and held my chin up. It took all my courage to look into his eyes. He pulled my mouth open with his thumb and kissed me again, his tongue slipping between my lips. Hesitantly, nervously, and maybe with a twinge of embarrassment, I grasped his shirtsleeves and tilted my head to the side.
“You wanna sit down? You look like you might be a little weak in the knees,” Wesley asked, smiling at me again.
I frowned, but only because it was true: I did feel a little weak in my knees. Wesley followed me to the couch and sat beside me. He put his hand on my leg and I jumped a little. I looked at my lap and bit my lip.
“Doesn’t it—doesn’t it bother you…because we’re both guys?”
He shook his head and smiled. “No. Why should it?”
I looked away again.
He brushed the hair from my eyes and looked at me gently.
“What are you so afraid of, Toren?”
I’m afraid…that my mom will hate me.
“Are you afraid that people will talk? Or that they’ll make fun of you? If that’s the case, then we just won’t tell anyone. We’ll keep it our little secret as long as you want, okay?” He smiled reassuringly at me and ran his fingers down my cheek.
20
J. M. Colail
Maybe Mom would never know if we kept it a secret. He sank into me on the couch, the feel of his warm body washing over me like a crushing wave. His kiss seemed different from before; it was sweeter and heavier and it felt inevitable.
He became bolder and slid his hand underneath the hem of my shirt. His fingertips traced my stomach like he was trying to memorize every inch of it by touch. His kiss dropped to my neck and then to the dimple between my collarbones. My body tingled all over. I looked down at him and he glanced up at me from the tops of his eyes, and then met my lips hungrily.
“Hey, Tor! I’m home!” Alycia stepped in the front door and her eyes rounded when she saw Wesley and me. “Oh, wow. Major bad timing, huh? Sorry, guys,” she said, giggling.
I panicked and pushed Wesley away. “Alycia? What—what are you doing here?”
“Duh. I’ve got a swim meet tonight, remember? I told you yesterday,” Alycia said, walking past us. She stopped in mid-step and stared blankly at Wesley. “Wait a minute. You’re Wesley Carroll.”
Wesley smiled goofily. “Hi. How ya doin’?”
“I don’t believe it!
My
brother with Wesley Carroll? This is so cool!” Alycia glanced at me and then smiled broadly. “Oh, but, don’t mind me. You won’t even know I’m here,” she said, waving her hand.
Then she disappeared down the hall and I heard her bedroom door shut.
“So…that was your sister?”
I couldn’t look at him. I didn’t know what to do. Wesley stared at me and then stood up.