What Color Is Your Parachute? (41 page)

But “values” in the sense I’m using it here, refers to the broad outcome of your life. What kind of footprint do you want to leave on this earth, after your journey here is done? Figure
that
out, and you’re well on your way to finding a life that has purpose and meaning.

I will list nine broad outcomes here; all of them are important, in this life; the question is, which one (or ones) grips you the most? (If you already did this exercise back in
chapter 2
, then just enroll your answers in the prioritizing grid that follows.)

1. Mind.
   Is the human mind your major concern? When you are gone, do you want there to be more knowledge, truth, or clarity in the world, because you were here? If so, knowledge, truth, or clarity concerning what, in particular?
   

2. Body.
   Is the human body your major concern? When you are gone, do you want there to be more wholeness, fitness, or health in the world, more binding up of the body’s wounds and strength, more feeding of the hungry, and clothing of the poor, because you were here? If so, what issue in particular—concerning the human body—do you want to work on?
   

3. Eyes and Other Senses.
   Are the human senses your major concern? When you are gone, do you want there to be more beauty in the world, because you were here? If so, what kind of beauty entrances you? Is it art, music, flowers, photography, painting, staging, crafts, clothing, jewelry, or what—that you want your life to contribute toward?
   

4. Heart.
   Is the human heart your major concern? When you are gone, do you want there to be more love and compassion in the world, because you were here? If so, love or compassion for whom? Or for what?
   

5. The Will or Conscience.
   Is the human will or conscience your major concern? When you are gone, do you want there to be more morality, more justice, more righteousness, more honesty in the world, because you were here? If so, in what areas of human life or history, in particular? And in what geographical area?
   

6. The Human Spirit.
   Is the human spirit your major concern? When you are gone, do you want there to be more spirituality in the world, more faith, more compassion, more forgiveness, more love for God,
   and the human family in all its diversity, because you were here? If so, with what ages, people, or with what parts of human life?
   

7. Entertainment.
   When you are gone, do you want there to be more lightening of people’s loads, more giving them perspective, more helping them to forget their cares for a spell, do you want there to be more laughter in the world, and joy, because you were here? If so, what particular kind of entertainment do you want to contribute to the world?
   

8. Possessions.
   Is the often false love of possessions your major concern? When you are gone, do you want there to be better stewardship of what we possess—as individuals, as a community, as a nation—in the world, because you were here? Do you want to see simplicity, savings, and a broader emphasis on the word
   enough
   , rather than on the word
   more, more
   ? If so, in what areas of human life in particular?
   

9. The Earth.
   Is the planet on which we stand, your major concern? When you are gone, do you want there to be more protection of this fragile planet, more exploration of the world or the universe—
   exploration
   , not
   exploitation
   —more dealing with its problems and its energy, because you were here? If so, which problems or challenges in particular, draw your heart and soul?
   

In sum, remember that all of these are worthwhile values and outcomes, all of these are necessary and needed, in this life. The question is, which one in particular do you most want to bend your energies, your skills and gifts, your life, to serve, while you are here?

To help you decide this, you may want to use a little invention of mine, called the
Prioritizing Grid
. You will, in fact, be running into this Grid many times here, so since this is the first time, let me explain in some detail how it works.

Rather than trying to rank a long list, it asks you to compare just two items at a time. You compare them by arbitrarily listing them, as I have done, in Section A—in any order. (Since you are comparing only nine items, here, you cross out all boxes containing the number 10, i.e., the whole bottom row in Section B.)

Then you compare the items, just two at a time, by the shorthand of comparing the numbers, which should recall to you, the items they stand for.

Here, you would begin by comparing just the numbers 1 and 2, in Section A.

Looking at the list in Section A in this sample grid, 1 and 2 would recall MIND, and BODY. You can, of course, flesh these items out further, in your mind, any way you want, so that they are your own definition. So you might phrase “1 vs. 2” to mean:

“Would I like my life to be primarily remembered for

1. MIND.
Bringing more knowledge, truth, or clarity to the world?
”

OR

“Would I like my life to be primarily remembered for

2. BODY.
Bringing more wholeness, fitness, or health to the world, more binding up of the body’s wounds and strength, more feeding of the hungry, and clothing of the poor?
”

Choose one of these. Even if it’s hard, and you only prefer one just an eensy-teensy bit more.

Let’s say you choose (2). Then, on the grid in Section B, in the little box where you see just the numbers 1 and 2, you circle the 2, as shown. You only have to decide between two Values at a time, never more than that.

Next, you compare just 2 and 3, or more specifically the Values that those numbers stand for. Choose which one is more important to you, and circle that number in the box that contains only a 2 and a 3.

Etc., etc.

When you’re finished choosing just one number (i.e., just one Value) from every box with two numbers in it, in Section B, you then count how many times each number got circled, in the whole grid, and enter that count down in the first empty horizontal row in Section C, right under the number in question. Continue doing this until every number has a count.

Now look at the counts. If you see a tie in the number of times
two
numbers got circled, you break the tie by looking back at the little box where only those two numbers appear, in Section B, and see which number you circled there. Then, give that number an extra half point in the count of how many times it got circled, to break the tie. In our illustration, let us suppose that in the end both #1 and #2 got circled four
times. Look back at the box where only #1 and #2 appear, and see which number got circled. We see is was #2. Hence, you assign an extra half point to #2, when you are through with the count. Now no two numbers have the same count.

If you see a tie in the number of times
three
numbers got circled, that’s a different problem. It means you gave two inconsistent answers somewhere in Section B, thereby contradicting yourself. How to resolve this? Look at the three numbers, and what they stand for, and by guess and by gosh, decide which is most important to you, which next, and which next. Give the first one an extra three-quarters point, give the second one an extra half point, and the third one no extra point, in the count of how many times they got circled, thus dissolving the three-way tie.

Next step: look to see which number got circled the most, and give it a Final rank of #1 in that bottom row of Section C, right under the number in question and its count. Then, count which number got circled next most, and give it a Final rank of #2 in the bottom row. Continue until a ranking (#1 to #9, here) has been assigned to every number.

Final step, with this Prioritizing Grid. In the space provided in Section D, recopy the list from Section A, but now with the items in their proper order according to their Final rank in Section C.

Study this ranked list, in Section D, thoughtfully. By definition, now, #1 is the most important to you
in determining what you want to do with your life
, and #9 in Final rank is the least important—not necessarily in the overall scheme of things,
but certainly in determining what you want to do with your life.

Look at your top three Values. Now you know which Value you most want your life to serve, which outcome you most want your life to produce; plus which one is next and which one is third.

You will need not just one of those Values, but the top three. Mark what they are. Those three top Values, together, determine what will be a Life that has meaning and purpose, for you.

The three of them, put together in order of priority, should be entered now on your Flower Diagram, on the Values petal
here
. Put the top three in your own words, whatever makes the most sense to you.

And if you want to burrow under the headings of your top Three, if you have a computer, go to the Internet, choose a browser (like Google), and type into it all the key words that occur to you—on the same line. For example, “work, beauty, gardens”—or any series of words that point toward the Values or issues you would like your life and your talents, skills, and experience, to serve.

Click
here
to view a PDF version of The Prioritizing Grid for 10 Items or Less.

P.S. If you have a computer and you would prefer to use an interactive electronic version of this Prioritizing Grid, you can go to the website of a former student of mine, Beverly Ryle, now a noted career counselor and author, in her own right (
www.GroundOfYourOwnChoosing.com
). She has a nice electronic version of my grid.

You have a whole filing cabinet up there in your head. The number of things that you know
something
about, by this time in your life, is awesome.

You, in fact, have doubtless lost track of all you know. What files are up there in your head? What do you know something, or a lot, about, anyway? Football? Skiing? Antiques? Gardening? Computers? Cars? Knitting? Scrapbooking? Information technology? Management practices? How to raise children? Design? Career counseling?