What I Didn't Say (30 page)

“I am sorry, Jackie,” he said, looking embarrassed.  “They wanted to move quickly on this case.  I’m just concerned for Samantha.”

Yeah, his best student in five years…

“Is Samantha really missing?” Dad asked, folding his arms across his chest the exact same way I was.

“Are you all aware as to Miss Shay’s living situation?” Officer Blizen asked them instead of answering Dad’s question.

“What do you mean?” Mom asked, her brow furrowing.

Crap.  Here it comes.

“She lives with her mom down Enchanted Forest Road,” Dad answered, his expression not quite as sure as I would have liked it to be.

“Mr. and Mrs. Hayes,” Officer Blizen said, trying to sound patient.  “Miss Shay’s mother passed away over the summer.  Samantha has been living on her own somewhere on the island since about August.”

The room got really quiet for a second.  I refused to take my eyes from the police officer’s face, not daring to look and see how my parents were reacting.

“I… I don’t understand,” Dad said, shifting his stance.  “Samantha… Samantha’s been on her own for the last seven months?  How… how is that possible?  Don’t people like you step in when things like this happen?”

I finally glanced at Mom.  She had her eyes locked on the floor, a million thoughts running through her head as her lips made tiny movements.  She was trying to piece it all together. 

The clues were all there if you knew to actually look.

Officer Blizen finally looked uncomfortable for the first time.  “There was a miscommunication with social services as to who was to take custody of Samantha.  Custody was granted to her grandparents, but almost the same day it was granted the grandfather had a heart attack and was soon moved to a long term care facility.  Custody was then switched to Samantha’s father but apparently he never got word it had been switched.  Samantha… fell through the cracks.  It wasn’t until someone on the island told us they thought something was going on that we looked into it.  No one on the island even knew that Samantha’s mother had died.”

I glanced at Mom again.  She had her fist pressed against her lips, a few tears streaking down her face.

The back of my throat tightened in a way that had nothing to do with my muteness.  My eyes dropped from Mom and glued themselves to the ground.

“Jake,” Dad said, his voice firm.  “Did you know about all of this?”

I debated with myself for a second.  But there was no possible way he would believe me if I said I didn’t.  With as many hours as I supposedly spent at Sam’s house…

I nodded my head.

“Jake,” Mom said in a horrified gasp.  “How could you not tell us about this?  We could have helped her.  That poor girl.  She must have been terrified!”

“So, Samantha’s missing?” Dad said.  I was surprised to hear that he was holding back emotion in his voice.

“Oh gosh,” Mom half moaned as she pressed her fist to her lips again and turned away from us all.

“Samantha’s father has come back to the island to take her with him down to Auburn,” Officer Bennett finally spoke up again.  “He has not been able to locate her yet.  It appears her old house was sold before the mother died, and no one seems to know her current residence.”

Mom gave another choked off sob.

It felt like something in my chest cracked.

I knew Mom felt guilty for not knowing.  But Sam and I had made sure to keep it that way.  Anything Mom was feeling right now was all my fault.

“Everyone says Jacob and Samantha have been together for a few months now and that he’d be the one to know where she currently is.”  Officer Blizen turned those cold eyes on me again.

Both Mom and Dad’s eyes turned on me at the same time.  I felt everything in me go cold.

Trying to keep my hands from shaking, I grabbed my notebook and pen again.

Sam moved around a lot,
I wrote. 
She’d work in trade for places to stay. 

Lie.  Lie.  Lie.

As soon as I wrote the words I knew I’d made a mistake.  It would be too easy for them to ask around and find out I’d made it up.  This was too small of an island for them not to figure that out.

“Do you know where she is now?” Officer Bennett asked, twirling his pen in his hand.

We’ve been broken up for a while now, like I said.  Haven’t seen her since Friday morning.

No one said anything for what felt like forever, as both the officers stared me down. 

“Jacob,” Officer Blizen finally spoke again.  “I am curious as to why you seem so unconcerned that your… former… girlfriend has gone missing.  While you may be broken up, I would think you would still be concerned about her.”

Mom and Dad’s eyes jumped to my face as if to say,
yeah, why aren’t you more concerned?

Just trying to put on a brave face,
I wrote. 
Trust me, I’m freaking out myself.

Crap.  Crap.  Crap.

“Uh huh,” he said, scribbling something down on another of those yellow notepads.  “Samantha’s father would like to speak to you sometime. Would you be willing to come down to the station this afternoon and meet with him?”

Do I have a choice?
I thought.

But I looked over at Mom and Dad, knowing it was really up to them.

“We’ll come down right after school’s over,” Mom said, trying to compose herself.  “No reason for Jake to miss more school.”

“Fine,” the officer said.  “Here’s my card.  We’ll expect you at four.”

Without another word, the both of them left.

“Seriously, Tony,” Mom started in on Principal Hill.  “How could you let them question him without us here?”

The two of them started wandering back toward his office, Mom chewing his ear off as they walked.

“Want to talk about this?” Dad asked, stuffing his hands into his pockets.

I just shook my head, my eyes glued to the ground.

“Okay,” Dad said, giving a nod.  “Have a good day at school then.”

I just nodded again and Dad went to catch up with Mom, leaving me alone in the empty classroom.

Holy crap!  Sam, I am totally freaking out here.  The cops came to school to question me!  They want me to come down to the police station to meet with your dad later today.  I don’t know what to do Sam.  I don’t know if I’ve ever been this scared.  I don’t want to blow this, but I’m afraid I’m going to say something wrong and they’re going to figure out where you are.

I think I just might go crazy if they take you away.  I think it’s been you that’s kept my head on straight through this crazy year.  You didn’t let me wallow in my self-pity.  I needed you this year.  There are a lot of dark places for someone like me, and I’m afraid I might slip into them if you’re gone.

I can’t let them take you away.

I sat there staring at the page I had just filled in our red notebook.  The letters spilled out so fast I hadn’t even thought about a single word I’d written.

I ripped the page out and stuffed it into my pocket.

Those were terrified words.  Those were freaked-out words.

I had to hold it together right now.  And I couldn’t let Sam read how seriously scared I was about the very real possibility of her being taken away from me.

The entire school couldn’t stop talking about Sam the rest of the day.  And they couldn’t seem to leave me alone.  Except for Norah strangely.  I kept finding her eyes on me the whole day, watching me, like she was waiting for me to lose it. 

I worked out by myself during weight-training.  All the guys were watching me, just as the whole island would be by the end of the day.  I just bench pressed, and stared blankly up at the ceiling.

With a dead knot in my stomach, I knew how this was all going to end.  And I didn’t think I could stop it.

6 weeks ‘til Sam’s birthday

I had never actually been to the police station before.  It was hard to even call it that.  From the outside it looked like nothing more than a small house.  There wasn’t much more than a waiting area, a few small rooms, and a kitchen area in the whole building.

Officer Blizen ushered my parents and me into one of the rooms.  It had a large table in it with half a dozen chairs surrounding it.  We sat down at one end, Officer Blizen sat down at the other end.  I wondered where Bennett was.

None of us said much of anything as we stared at one another.  Our eyes kept flickering to the clock on the wall, watching the second hands work their way past the four.  We watched the door, waiting for someone to come through it.

“You said four o’clock, right?” Mom asked.  I could tell she was trying to keep her voice patient.

“Yes, Mrs. Hayes,” Blizen said, lazy and annoyed.  “I am sure Mr. Garren will be here soon.”

And the clock continued to tick away.

Samantha’s dad wasn’t going to show.  I could feel it.

He really was as unreliable as Sam had said.

“Okay,” Dad said, resting his elbows on the table, leaning forward.  “We’ve been very patient.  We’ve just been sitting here for over a half hour.  We’ve got four other kids at home waiting for us, I’ve taken an hour off of work, and now had my time wasted.  Can we go?”

Blizen turned cold, narrow eyes on Dad.

Where did this guy come from?  He couldn’t be less of an islander.

Blizen’s eyes suddenly flicked to my face, almost making me jump.  “Of course you’re free to go.  But you need to understand, Jacob, that this is a desperate, bad situation.  There is a girl out there, underage, who isn’t old enough to take care of herself.  And her family is here to take care of her.  If you know where she is, you need to tell us.”

Feeling everything in me harden against this man, I just sat there with my lips pressed together.

No one could keep a secret quite like me now.

“We’re going to go now,” Mom said, grabbing my upper arm and pulling me to my feet.  She was a lot stronger than she looked.

“That guy’s got a lot of nerve, to just not show up like this,” Mom fumed as we walked out toward our cars.  “Do you know anything about the man, Jake?  I’ve got a bad feeling about all of this.”

I just shook my head.  I really didn’t know much about him, just that he wasn’t a great guy and there was no way Sam wanted to leave the island with him.

Pulling her cell phone out of her purse, Mom checked a text message.

“Great,” she said with a sigh, texting back.  “Joshua just puked all over the bathroom.  He said he wasn’t feeling good this morning but seemed fine after school.”

Just one more reason I was glad I wasn’t Mom.

“Jake, honey, could you run and get a few things for me at The Market for dinner tonight?” she asked.  She was already digging an old receipt and a pen out of her bag.  I just nodded.  It was the least I could do after everything I was putting my parents through.

“See you in an hour,” Dad said, pressing a kiss to the side of Mom’s head.  “I’ve got to go back to work for a bit.”