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Authors: Melody Carlson

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BOOK: What Matters Most
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But when they asked her about it, she just brushed them off and changed the subject.

“Okay, girls.” Beanie came over to join us now. She’d been checking e-mail on her BlackBerry. “I hate to be the party pooper, but it’s nearly midnight, and we have to hit the road to make it to Orlando by morning.”

“And we’ll catch up with you girls down there on Friday,” Jeremy assured us.

So here I am at three in the morning, sitting in the front of the bus as we roll on down the highway. For some reason I couldn’t sleep, which is why I’m writing in my diary as well as praying that things will be okay between Chloe and me. I know she’s not mad at me or anything like that, but it does feel like she’s treating me differently. Like maybe she wishes I hadn’t been invited to join Redemption, like maybe she thinks I don’t really fit in or that I’m changing something as far as the dynamics of the band…or that I might try to come between her and Jeremy, which is so not possible. Okay, maybe I’m just tired and a little paranoid. I’ll pray about this and try to get some sleep. Tomorrow is another big day.

Maya’s Green Tip for the Day

I’m dreaming of a green Christmas. And shouldn’t we all? This will be my first Christmas as a Christian, and I’ve been comparing what I know about the first Christmas (Christ’s birth) to what I see today. What a contrast! But why can’t we be more like the first one—greener, simpler, happier? Here are some suggestions: (1) Recycle old Christmas cards by cutting them up and remaking them into new ones. Think collage, scrapbook, recycled paper, and voilà, you have some masterpieces to give to loved ones. (2) Use things like newspaper, craft paper, or even fabric to wrap gifts. (3) Instead of big glitzy bows on packages (which usually get tossed), why not decorate a gift with something natural like a snip of evergreen, twigs, pine cones, or whatever’s available in your yard. (4) And speaking of gifts, make sure you’re thinking green while you shop—meaning, why not consider reusable possibilities in thrift shops or create an art object from recycled materials? Not only will your gift be environmentally friendly, but it’ll save you some money too.

Seventeen
December 19

T
oday was not a good day. Okay, there were some pretty cool things that happened. But all in all, not a good day. In some ways it was pretty disturbing. Thankfully, we’re staying in a hotel tonight, which means there’s a little more space. And believe me, I’m keeping some space between Chloe and me.

It all started during our rehearsal at Disney World this morning. The guys from Iron Cross had arrived, and Bruce decided that Redemption and Iron Cross should actually do a couple of numbers together—kind of share the stage during the transition from one band to the other tonight. And really, it wasn’t a bad idea. Or so it seemed.

“I want to try Maya and Jeremy together on this song,” suggested Larry (the manager of Iron Cross). “I think their voices would be good together.”

Well, I was thinking no big deal. I mean, we’re professionals, aren’t we? Chloe’s been in the biz long enough to know that this isn’t personal, right? Wrong…wrong, wrong, wrong.

“That was superb,” said Larry after Jeremy and I finished the first run-through. “Those kids sound so good together, we should
consider recording something.” He said this more to Bruce than to us.

“I could get into that,” said Jeremy with enthusiasm. “Doing an album with Nick Stark’s daughter.” He punched his brother in the arm. “Wait until the parents hear about this, eh?”

So we rehearsed some more. And I could tell that Chloe was kind of shutting down. Like she wasn’t really herself. And it was showing in her music too.

“You feeling okay today?” Bruce asked her during a break.

“I’m fine,” she snapped.

And so it went. Oh, she never said anything mean to me. She never did anything to offend anyone. But she was having a very off day. I felt certain that it was my fault. And that feels lousy.

“Okay, guys,” said Jeremy as we finished up, “I don’t know about everyone else, but I plan to hit MGM this afternoon.”

“You mean Hollywood Studios,” Isaiah corrected.

“Yeah, whatever.” Jeremy grinned. “Rock ‘n’ Roller Coaster, here I come!”

“You girls coming too?” asked Michael hopefully.

“I’m in,” said Allie.

“Sounds fun to me,” called out Beanie from where she was sitting in the front row of the concert hall.

I glanced over at Chloe. With her back to me, she appeared to be absorbed in putting away her guitar, carefully snapping the case.

“How about it?” asked Jeremy. “Chloe and Maya? You girls brave enough to take on the Tower of Terror with us?”

“Come on.” Isaiah nudged me with his elbow. “You know what they say about all work and no play, Maya.”

“Okay,” I agreed. The truth is, it sounded like fun. Besides that, I’ve never been to that park before. Not in California. And not here.

“Chloe?” Jeremy persisted. “Aren’t you coming too?”

She stood up, turned around, and ran her hand through her hair. “I have a killer headache.”

“I think Chloe needs to take it easy,” said Bruce. “I recommend some Advil and a nice long nap,” he told her. “You don’t seem like yourself today. And we need you in top form tonight.”

“I hope you’re not coming down with something.” Beanie came onto the stage and looked closely at Chloe, even putting her hand on her forehead. “It is flu season, you know.”

“I’ll just lay low this afternoon,” Chloe said quietly. “You guys go ahead and have a good time.”

“I’ll stay with you,” offered Beanie.

“No,” Chloe said firmly. “Go ahead. I’ll be fine.”

“And if you get to feeling better, you could catch up with us,” suggested Allie. “I’ll have my cell phone on.”

“Sure.” Chloe nodded without enthusiasm.

So we took off. And I felt like I was about twelve years old as we did all the crazy rides and ate junk food and basically acted like middle-school kids. It was great.

“We have time for one more ride,” Jeremy told the group. “I think I’ll head for Tower of Terror again.”

“Not me,” said Beanie. “My stomach’s still reeling from that last ride. I’ll sit this one out.”

“I’m with you,” said Michael. “Besides, I need a hot dog.”

“I want to ride the roller coaster once more.” I looked at Allie. “Want to come with me?”

“I have to do Tower of Terror again,” she admitted. “It’s such a jolt.”

“Me too,” said Isaiah.

So we made a plan to meet up in thirty minutes, and I headed over to get in line for the Rock ‘n’ Roller Coaster. But to my surprise, Jeremy came along.

“I didn’t think you should ride alone,” he told me.

“That’s okay,” I assured him. “I’m fine. Go ahead and do the Tower of—”

“No, I think I’d rather do this one.”

So I didn’t argue. “This has been so fun,” I told him. “I’m sure you guys have done stuff like this dozens of times. But it’s actually a first for me.”

He looked puzzled. “What do you mean? You’ve never been here before?”

“The last time I was in a theme park was Disneyland when I was about six.”

“Seriously?”

I nodded. “It sounds lame, but it’s true.”

“I would’ve figured…you know, with your dad…that you’d have been everywhere and done everything.”

So I explained how it really was. Oh, I didn’t go into all the details. But I let him know that being the child of a professional musician wasn’t exactly a walk in the park.

“I guess that makes sense,” he admitted as we moved forward in the line. “I mean, I couldn’t imagine doing what I do—being on the road so much—and having a wife and kids. It would be all wrong.”

“It’s kind of stressful on relationships.”

Then he told me about his parents and how he was raised in a fairly normal, middle-class Christian home.

“That’s what I used to dream of having,” I told him as we were nearly to the front of the line. Then I told him about how much more normal my life became when I moved in with my cousin and uncle. “I don’t think I’ll ever have anything completely normal, but being part of a family felt pretty good.” I also told him a little about Dominic and how I’ve sometimes envied his family.

“Is that your boyfriend?”

I smiled. “Well, if I was going to have a boyfriend, which isn’t really my plan, I guess Dominic would be the guy.”

“Lucky guy.” He nodded. “But I think you’re smart to keep that sort of thing at a distance for the time being. A lot of kids rush the romance, and it can really mess up a good relationship.”

“I know exactly what you mean!” I exclaimed as we were directed to our seats on the ride. And then conversation became impossible because the roller coaster took off, and we were both holding on and listening to the screams of the other riders. Bruce
had made it clear to Allie and me that we were
not to scream
on the rides. “You could damage your vocal cords,” he warned us. And I took him seriously.

“That was awesome!” I told Jeremy when we finally rolled to a stop. “Thanks for coming with me. It really does make it more fun to do it with a friend.”

Then he put his arm around me and gave me a nice sideways squeeze. Like a brotherly hug. “I like having you for a friend,” he told me.

Then as we were getting off, I noticed Chloe standing down below, watching us. And she did not look happy.

“Hey, Chloe,” called out Jeremy with a big wave.

I smiled and waved too. But when we joined her, she was acting really stiff and formal.

“Are you feeling better?” Jeremy asked her.

“A little,” she said. “I thought I’d come out and get some fresh air.” She looked at me funny now. “I guess I made it just in time.”

“Just in time to head back to the hotel with us.” Jeremy gave her a sideways hug too, but then he kept his arm around her as they walked. Then I spotted Beanie and Michael and hurried over to join them.

On the shuttle back to the hotel, I sat with Beanie. And I’m sure I looked a little frustrated because she finally asked if something was wrong.

“I think Chloe is mad at me,” I told her quietly. Not that there
was much chance of being heard since Chloe and the others were up in front and Beanie and I were clear in the back.

“Why’s that?”

“Remember what you told us about your job in New York?”

She nodded.

“Well, I think Chloe might be worried I’m doing the same thing.”

“Same thing?”

“When we were rehearsing earlier, I think it bothered her that I did a song with Jeremy. Then she saw me on the roller coaster with him. And he gave me a little hug—just a brotherly hug—and she might have read it wrong.”

“But they’re sitting together now.”

I nodded. “Yes, but I’m afraid she might think I’m after him or something.”

“Are you?”

I shook my head. “No, of course not.”

“Well, that’s a relief. I mean, he’s a lot older than you and—”

“That has nothing to do with it,” I clarified. “I’m just really not into him.” Then I told her a little about Dominic and how much I missed him.

She smiled. “Maybe you need to let Chloe know that too.”

“Okay…I’ll try.”

But when I tried to speak to her privately shortly before our performance, it only seemed to make matters worse.

“Do you think I’m jealous of you?” she asked me point-blank.

“No, I didn’t mean it like that.”

“What did you mean then?”

“I just meant to tell you that I’m not into Jeremy, okay?”

Her brows shot up. “Do you think you’re too good for him?”

“No, nothing like that.”

“Why are you telling me this then? Why is it so important for you to let me know that you really like Dominic?”

“I don’t know… I guess I thought it would make you feel better.”

“Because you think I’m jealous of you?” she said again.

“I don’t know. Maybe it felt like you were mad at me. And I just wanted to make things better.”

“Maybe I’m just having a bad day,” she said.

“Yeah, maybe so. I hope it gets better.”

But it did not get better. Chloe wasn’t quite her vivacious self in our performance tonight. To make up for it, Allie and I both tried really hard to bring up the energy level. And maybe we succeeded. But all in all, I think our portion of the concert was just so-so.

However, the songs we did with Iron Cross did seem to raise the enthusiasm level of the crowd. And then when Jeremy and I did our duet, we got a standing ovation. He looked at me and asked if I wanted to do another. Fortunately, we know some of the same songs, so we just went for it. And once again the crowd was pleased. But I just bowed and made my way offstage, stepping into the shadows as I watched Iron Cross continuing their performance.

“I think Bruce is right,” Chloe said to me.

I jumped because I hadn’t even known she was standing there. “What?”

“You and Jeremy. You do make a good pair. And he certainly likes you. Maybe you two
should
consider doing an album together.” Then she abruptly turned away and walked off. I felt like I’d been slapped. I started to say something to Allie, who was standing nearby, but she just gave me a questioning look and took off after Chloe.

Then I went over to join Beanie, who seemed to have witnessed the whole thing. “What do I do now?”

She just shrugged. “I don’t know that there’s much you can do. Maybe just wait until Chloe cools down.”

I really didn’t want to go back to our hotel room, so Beanie and I stuck around until the Iron Cross concert ended. But then I was ready to leave. I didn’t want to take a chance of being seen by anyone while having any kind of interaction with Jeremy at all. Oh, Chloe’s concerns were unfounded. But situations like this can get ugly quick. Maybe it was already ugly.

“I just want to get things straightened out with her,” I told Beanie as we walked through the lobby to the elevators. “I want her to understand that I am not the least bit interested in Jeremy.”

“It might be more complicated than that.” Beanie paused by one of the big plush couches. “Want to sit down?”

I nodded.

“I don’t think Chloe’s
only
worried about Jeremy, Maya.”

BOOK: What Matters Most
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