What We Learned Along the Way (27 page)

“Nothing I can do can change this, but I am
so sorry, baby.” It wasn’t long before the tears began to flow. “I
never meant for this to happen. I never meant to hurt you.” Rashad
spent the next five minutes pouring his heart out, but Mariam had
too many thought running through her head to hear him.

“Did you know?” she asked, cutting him off in
the middle of a heart-felt sentence. He used his hand to wipe the
big tears from his face.

“Did I know what?”

“When we got married, did you know she was
pregnant?” He looked down at his hands for a second, studying the
veins that ran through them. Mariam got her answer before Rashad
knew he’d even given it.

“Yes, I knew, and I was going to tell you,”
he started to explain. Mariam let out a sound of disgust and stood
up from the sofa.

“Wait, where are you going? Baby, we’ve got
to talk about this. Please, come back.” Mariam ignored his plea as
she walked quickly across the living room toward the bedroom.
“Mariam,” he tried again, his voice strained from the tears.

“Leave me alone!” she yelled from behind the
locked bedroom door.

Even though she only had a few months to
plan, Aliya’s wedding was coming along nicely. It took no time to
reserve the mosque, and she had put down a deposit for the
reception at a small banquet hall nearby. It wasn’t quite what she
had imagined for her wedding, but it was nice.

“Wow, so I’m really the last one left,”
Malikah told Aliya one afternoon at her apartment.

“The last what?” Aliya asked as she began to
take pictures down from the wall.

“The last one to get married. You, Jaime and
Mariam will all be married before this year is over.”

“Your time will come.”

“You know, I actually started to believe that
for a while, but this whole thing with Isaiah brought me back to my
senses.”

“Don’t talk like that. You never know what
will happen,” Aliya said. She had to speak up to make sure her
voice wasn’t lost to the crinkle of the newspaper she was using to
wrap her glass frames.

“Whatever. Let’s not talk about me. I don’t
feel like crying. So, I can’t believe you’re really moving. You
love this apartment.”

“I know,” Aliya said, looking around. “I
can’t believe it either, but marriage is about sacrifice.”

“Yea, that’s what they say. You need me to
help you take these boxes over to Langston’s house? Oh, wait, I’m
sorry. I meant to say do you need me to help you take these boxes
over to your house?” Malikah corrected herself.

“Actually, no. We’re going to put my stuff in
storage.”

“What? Why? You’ve got some great stuff,”
Malikah said, admiring one of her expensive-looking vases.

“Yes, but he already has the house fully
furnished. You’ve seen the house. It’s gorgeous.”

“It’s definitely a nice house. I just hate to
see all this cool stuff go into a closet to collect dust. As soon
as I get my own place, I’ll know exactly where to go.”

The day of the wedding came and went. Aliya
couldn’t believe how quickly it all happened. Her father, overjoyed
to see his daughter finally settling down, surprised her with a
five thousand dollar check. Langston surprised her with a honeymoon
trip to Thailand.

“So that’s why you never wanted to discuss a
honeymoon,” she said to Langston later that night. “You had me
thinking we weren’t going to do anything.”

“I know, and I could tell you were getting an
attitude.”

“Attitude? Me? I was actually pretty calm
about the whole thing. I figured you were just busy with work and
that we’d take one later,” she said sweetly.

“No, you had an attitude. I could tell by the
way the corners of your mouth turn down. You know you were ready to
curse me out.”

Aliya laughed. “Okay, maybe I did have a
little attitude.”

“I know you did, because I know you,” he said
as he kissed his wife softly.

The newlyweds planned out their entire life
during the long flight to Thailand. They talked about where they
saw themselves in the next five years, what they would name there
additional children, all the places they wanted to go and what
college they wanted Harlem to go to one day. They debated every
topic imaginable, including Superman vs. Batman and white Michael
Jackson vs. the black one.

Aliya was ecstatic. She had a wonderful
husband, a sweet, new daughter and a father that she hadn’t argued
with in the longest. She couldn’t imagine life getting any better
than it was at that moment.

Just like the plane ride, the actual trip
went by quickly. Even though they were there for ten days, it flew
by like a weekend. They came back with three memory cards full of
pictures, tons of souvenirs for everyone, and tans that you
wouldn’t believe.

When they got back to the states, Aliya stood
in the living room and inspected her new home. She had been there
many times before, but it was different this time. Every other time
she had been there, she had been in Langston’s house. Now she was
in her house. It was the strangest feeling. On one hand, she was
excited to be living in such a wonderful place, but on the other,
it felt weird to be married with a daughter. She had always
imagined her life going differently. She never would have guessed,
not even in a million years, that she would be married at 21 to a
millionaire, Muslim husband with a four-year-old daughter.

She took a few deep breaths to take in her
new life. It all felt so surreal.

“Baby, get the door,” Langston yelled from
upstairs. Aliya was so deep in thought that she didn’t hear the
doorbell.

She opened the door and saw Nikki and Harlem.
“Heeeey,” Aliya said cheerfully as she knelt down so Harlem could
jump into her arms. “I missed you so much.”

“I missed you, too. Look at what Aunt Nikki
got me,” Harlem said as she held up her new doll for Aliya to
see.

“Oh, she’s so pretty,” Aliya said. Then she
turned to Nikki. “Thanks so much for keeping her.”

“No problem. She was wonderful.”

“Langston’s upstairs. Come on in. I’m sure he
wants to see you.” Aliya ushered her sister-in-law in and went
upstairs to get her husband.

“There’s my baby sis,” he said as he came
down the stairs. “So, tell me what’s new?”

“Still trying to work the modeling thing. I
finally found an agent. He’s been getting me some shoots here and
there. I still don’t see why you won’t let me be the spokes model
for Chapter. I’m telling you, you wouldn’t regret it.”

Langston laughed. “And I’m telling you, it’s
a bookstore. It doesn’t need a model. What kind of photo shoots
would you do in a bookstore, anyway?”

“Oh, don’t underestimate me, El. I could rock
a photo shoot anywhere.” She stood up and strutted across the
living room floor as if it were a catwalk. Harlem got up and
followed her aunt. She did her best imitation of Nikki’s model
walk. They all laughed, including Aliya, but then she felt bad.
Should she be encouraging her new daughter to imitate something so
sexy and adult? She quieted down and looked over at Langston. He
was still laughing. He didn’t seem to be bothered at all by his
daughter’s imitation, so Aliya relaxed a little.

Aliya had only met Nikki a few times, but she
liked her a lot. Her upbeat energy reminded her so much of herself.
She too had even considered modeling at one point. Seeing Nikki so
free and colorful made her miss her old life, her old self. But
that was the past. She quickly put it out of her mind. She liked
her new life.

Aliya enjoyed praying with her husband and
getting involved with events at the mosque. Even though she hadn’t
been a regular attendee in years, she felt at home. Everyone
greeted her and welcomed her back. She had imagined that they would
be hard on her and ask where she had been all this time, but they
didn’t, at least not to her face. There were a few circulating a
story about how Harlem was her biological daughter and the reason
for her disappearing in the first place, but most were just happy
to have her back. She was surprised at how much the children had
grown and how some of the adults still looked the same. She didn’t
waste any time waiting to get involved. She joined the events
committee and the Sister’s League. She figured it would be a good
way to connect with some of the other sisters.

Aliya was surprised to see Malikah at jummah
one Friday afternoon. “I didn’t know you still came here.” She
talked to Malikah somewhat regularly and had not heard her mention
anything about going to the mosque.

“I don’t come regularly, but I make it when I
can. Now that Isaiah and I are over, I have a lot more free time,”
Malikah said in a depressed tone. “Anyway, you look nice.” Aliya
did look nice, but Malikah still wasn’t used to seeing her so
modestly dressed.

“You should join the events committee with
me! We can help plan the banquet together,” Aliya suggested with
excitement.

Malikah hesitated for a second with her
answer. “Uh, that’s okay. I’m not really a committee kind of
girl.”

“Oh, come on, it’ll be fun. Besides, you
never know, you might meet a man,” Aliya said with a soft
nudge.

“The only men to meet here are the same ones
I met years ago as a baby, and I’m not desperate enough to start
considering men old enough to be my father.”

Aliya laughed, but it was true. Many of the
people they had grown up with in the mosque were nowhere to be
found. They, like Aliya, had been side tracked by life. The main
ones left were the adults in her parents’ age range.

“You wouldn’t be laughing if you were still
single,” Malikah said. “Not everyone gets to marry a millionaire.
Some of us are doomed to be lonely old cat ladies,” she said in the
most pitiful voice.

“Oh. Well, let me know when you’re done with
your pity party,” Aliya said, slightly upset. She didn’t like it
when people felt sorry for themselves, and she definitely didn’t
need anyone trying to make her feel bad for having a good man.

If only she knew all the frogs I had to
kiss to find my prince
.

She took a seat on the other side of the room
just as the imam began speaking.

Malikah felt bad. She wasn’t trying to have a
pity party and didn’t want to upset Aliya, but she was sad. She had
come so close to making things work with Isaiah, only to have it
all crumble right in front of her eyes. “A ring,” she mumbled to
herself. “I can’t believe he bought a ring. I blew it!”

“Shhhhhh,” the older woman sitting next to
her said aggressively. She held her finger up to her lips and had
an annoyed look on her face.

“Sorry,” Malikah whispered. The woman still
looked displeased. Malikah hated it when people who tried to quiet
her made even more noise with their shushing than she had been
making in the first place. She was already in a bad mood and had
half a mind to tell the woman to shut up, but that would have been
disrespectful, especially in the mosque. Instead, she turned her
attention back to the imam and tried her best to focus on the
khutbah. After prayer, she made her way over to Aliya.

“I’m sorry about what I said earlier. I’ve
just been in such a grumpy mood lately.”

“It’s cool, but you could make it up to me by
joining the event committee!” Aliya said with a huge smile. “Come
on, pleeeeease? It’ll be fun. You know you want to.”

“What is it with you and this committee?
Okay, whatever, I’ll join.”

“Great. It’s going to be so fun. You won’t
regret it.”

“I doubt that,” Malikah mumbled under her
breath.

“What was that?” Aliya asked.

“Oh, nothing.”

“So, guess who I talked into joining the
events committee today?” Aliya said to Langston over dinner that
night.

“I don’t know. Who?”

“Malikah. I’m so excited. This will give us a
chance to hang out more, just like old times.”

“Malikah?” he repeated. “She doesn’t seem
like the committee type.”

“That’s what she said, but she is. She just
doesn’t know it yet.”

“And how can you be so sure” he said, holding
a forkful of green beans.

“Because, I just know,” she said with a
smile. Langston loved his wife’s smile.

“Hey, why don’t you go put those red pumps on
for me?” he said with a devious look on his face.

Aliya looked confused. “What red pumps?” she
asked as she got up to refill her glass.

“You know the ones I like. The shiny ones
with that big, spiky heel. You used to always wear them when we
went out dancing.”

“Oh, those” she said as an image of the shoes
popped into her head. “I gave those away. I got rid of all those
silly, flashy clothes.”

“I didn’t know that,” he said in a flat
voice. He pushed around the few beans he had left on his plate.
“Well, what about that cute little black dress you used to wear?”
His eyes lit up with a glimmer of hope.

“Honey, I told you I got rid of all that
stuff. I’m a different person now. You know I don’t dress like that
anymore.”

“You got rid of everything? Even those sexy
tight jeans?”

“Yep.”

“And the skirts?”

“Yep.”

“What about that cute little—” Aliya
interrupted him before he could finish.

“Yes! They’re all gone,” she said in an angry
and frustrated voice. “I threw it all out in the dumpster!”

“The dumpster!” he said in shock, dropping
his fork. “Why would you do that? We could have had some fun.” She
hadn’t really thrown them in the dumpster. She took them to the
thrift store. She only said she did out of frustration. “So, what
am I supposed to do now?” he asked.

Aliya could feel herself getting more and
more upset. “You’re supposed to be happy that your wife decided to
put some clothes on and dress like she has some dignity!” she said,
trying not to raise her voice.