What You Become (12 page)

A cold wind nipped our ears as we confronted Chase’s house from the back of her lawn. It was hard to see how we’d get a clear photo without being seen ourselves. A half moon threw out silvery blue light. If the blinds were lifted, we would be seen.

‘We need to knock,’ Ti said, heading towards the house. ‘Or we’ll never get a shot.’

Maybe she
was
stupid.

‘Wait!’ I hissed. ‘You can’t knock there. They’ll know someone’s broken into the garden if you do that.’

Ti stopped in her tracks. ‘You’re right. Let’s throw a stone instead,’ she said, heading back to the rockery and crouching down to search for one.

‘A
small
one.’

‘Duh.
Obviously
. ’Kay, I’ll throw, you shoot.’

Finding a rock, she pulled her arm back.

‘Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I need to sort the flash and find a stable place for the camera. It needs a long exposure. And we need to be better hidden . . .’

Why
was I even here? Why couldn’t I say no to Ti, with her silly ideas, still?

She stuck a branch in the neck of her T-shirt, like a marine, she said, leaves waving in front of her nose, and I felt a rush of love for her.

I looked around for somewhere that offered cover and a flat spot to rest the camera, somewhere that wouldn’t obstruct the lens. The feeling in my stomach was closer to fear than excitement, and Mum’s pale face flickered into view, but I focused my attention on getting the set-up just right. Ti had to see that she didn’t only have her sister: she had me too.

My blood pumping was making things warp. I shook my head to clear it.

‘Ready?’ she said, and we stared at each other. Me holding out my camera, submerged in a rosemary bush, her clasping a rock with twigs dangling in front of her face.

‘Ready,’ I said, and then the fence panel creaked, and Ti and me gripped each other in fear. Ophelia hauled herself through the narrow space, and my stomach turned at the sight of her wild expression.

‘Dirty little prick!’ she shouted, launching her arm back, and before I knew what was happening, there was a loud smash and the front downstairs window shattered.

The floral blind whipped up and Chase appeared. And she wasn’t alone.

Twenty-two

Chase and Kes, backlit and horrified, stared into the garden, framed by jagged glass.

Shoving Ophelia out of the way, I rushed from my hiding place and through the loose fence panel, down next door’s drive. I wanted to be on tarmac, far away from anyone’s garden forever except my own, and Ti was right behind me.

Ophelia was a maniac, now at last Ti could see, so why was she slowing down?

‘Wait! Wait! Please, Rosie. I’m scared. She’s lost it. Did you see her face? I’ve had to sleep in her bed every night this week. There’s something wrong with her. There’s something really wrong with her.’

Ti ducked behind a van and she looked so panicked I couldn’t leave.

‘This is it,’ she said. ‘She’s going down.’ She rubbed her face, and I crouched beside her, and squeezed her to me. ‘She won’t come back from this.’

‘She’ll be fine. She’s always fine. Just wait.’

Ti was breathing loudly. ‘Not this time. It’s too much. If Chase calls the police . . . she’s already had a warning. God, she couldn’t handle prison, Rosie; she’s not strong enough.’

‘She’ll be all right,’ I said, and then I realized I didn’t have my camera. ‘
Shit!
’

‘I know, where is she?’

‘No, I left my camera.’

‘You
didn’t
.’

‘So, we’re definitely caught,’ I said. ‘Your bloody sister.’

‘She might have got away.’

‘Why do you let her talk you into these things? And why do
I
let
you
talk me into them?’

‘I didn’t ask you to come. I was just trying to help her. You were the one that—’

‘Oh my god,’ I said, walking out from where we were hidden. In a house across the road a dog started up yapping and the hairs on the back of my neck stood on end, because it was really dawning on me. ‘You’re
never
going to learn, are you?’

‘She’s my sister, Rosie. What am I supposed to do?’ Ti stepped from foot to foot, peering into the distance towards Chase’s house.

‘You’re not helping her, you know. You think you are, but you’re not.’

She turned to me like she was about to get angry, but a car was coming, and so she ducked back behind the van instead. I joined her, and we crouched as a black BMW crawled by.

‘I’m going back.’

‘Don’t be an idiot, Ti. Leave her. If she’s caught, it’s her own dumb fault, and there’s nothing you can do. Maybe she needs to be sent down, before she gets any worse.’

But Ti was already heading back towards the house.

‘What are you going to do to help? Offer yourself up as well? Swap places with her? Jesus!’

‘I just need to make sure she’s all right.’

‘What do you think you’re going to achieve?’

I grabbed at her hands, but she wouldn’t stop. ‘I’m going home, Ti, and you should go too. You’re stupid if you think you’re helping.’

‘You’re stupid if you think I have a choice. She’s my
sister
, Rosie. My
twin
sister. Imagine if it was Joey.’

‘Joey’s a good person.’

‘Piss off, Rosie, Joey’s eight years old. He hasn’t even got pubes. Imagine he was fifteen, the same age as you, same height. That you’d known him since before you were born. Oh, what’s the point? Go home. You can’t understand. No one can.’

She was right. I couldn’t understand and I was tired of trying.

‘I don’t need you pretending to be my friend because you feel guilty.’

‘What? As if . . . Come on, Ti . . .’

‘I mean it, Rosie. You don’t need to feel bad for me any more.’

Ti kept walking, back in the direction she should have been running from, and it was so frustrating that I had to pull at the roots of my hair just to release some of the pressure.

‘Fine. You’re on your own,’ I called after her. ‘Just you and your crazy sister. See where it gets you. Maybe you can share a cell in prison.’

Ti stuck her finger up, without looking back.

She didn’t care what I thought or said. She was on automatic, chasing after her sister like always, no matter how much trouble it meant.

Twenty-three

‘Not you, Rosie,’ Chase said, as I filed out the class with Alisha and Kiaru. It was the end of Drama the following Monday, and I’d been having palpitations since Saturday night. I hadn’t heard from Ti and I was determined not to care. I couldn’t even think of Ophelia without getting seriously angry. Kiaru and Alisha looked scared for me, and my throat constricted. Here it came.

Charlie smirked as she left the classroom, lagging behind to see if she could glean a bit of gossip.

‘Close the door, please, Charlie,’ Chase said firmly. Her red hair was twisted into pin curls, and she looked stylish as ever, in a green polka dot tea dress. She was neatening a pile of worksheets, a delay tactic, and I prayed the moment of calm would last forever.

‘Yes, Ms,’ Charlie sang as she shut the door. I heard her musical laughter ring out in the hall.

Chase’s eyes met mine. Blue and precise. There was no escaping. She had never paid me such attention before, and I shivered.

‘This weekend,’ she said. ‘What happened?’

I swallowed instead of speaking.

‘You were in my garden,’ she continued, but something about the way she said it made me think she wasn’t certain.

‘Sorry?’ I said, imagining I was Alisha or Ava, very confident and together, and perfectly polite.

‘Stop it,’ she snapped. ‘You’re still close with Titania, and for some reason I can’t guess – believe me I’ve spent the weekend trying – you were in my garden on Saturday night.’

I made my face blank.

‘Trespassing is a serious issue, Rosie, I’m not sure if you realize. Titania was very nearly arrested.
Again
.’

‘What happened?’ I said, and Ms Chase narrowed her eyes, refusing to indulge what she clearly saw as my pretence of innocence. I almost owned up, just to find out what had happened to Ti. Had she gone back and knocked on Chase’s door? I hadn’t contacted Ti. Maybe I never would again. Maybe she was right, and we really had grown apart.

‘It’s a criminal offence, trespassing – do you even realize that? Listen to me, Rosie. I’m trying to help you.’

She let a big breath out, and looked at me in that searching way adults try when they aren’t sure whether you can understand or not. When they aren’t sure what approach to try next.

‘I don’t know what’s going on with the pair of you, but it isn’t going to end well, and you really need to get yourself out of it. Titania wasn’t a good student, and neither was her sister, and I know she’s angry, but she,
they
, need to let this, this
thing
– whatever it is – go.

‘I don’t know if it’s a game or a dare or what, but I can’t stand any more of it, and they’re going to get into grave trouble if they carry on. I’m
this close
to getting an injunction against her. Ophelia’s sneaky, I can’t pin it on her, but Ti got caught again. I could pin her, easy. Do you want to visit Titania in a juvenile-delinquency centre? Because if you don’t, I recommend you say something
soon
.

‘I mean it, Rosie. If you have any influence over Titania at all,
at all,
you’ve got to try to make her see sense. This “beef” – whatever it is –
has
to stop. Do you understand?’

Chase seemed shaken and I wondered if she was putting it on, because how scary was it, really? Having your window smashed by teenage girls?

‘Maybe it’s the naughty kids at The Bridge, having a bad influence on her,’ I said quietly, and Chase’s eyes flashed on to mine.

‘Oh no,’ she said, and she seemed to be struggling to stay professional. ‘I’m not having that. People need to take responsibility. That’s what they don’t teach any more. If those girls don’t take responsibility for their choices,
they’ll
pay for it. Nobody else.

‘You’re not a bad kid, just easily led. There’s no shame in it; Titania’s a charismatic girl – but I’m telling you, Rosie – stick with your new friends, focus on your work. Because those girls are going to get nothing but what they’ve asked for.’

After an intense look that I thought would never end, she nudged her head towards the door, and it took every bit of power I had not to sprint out of it.

The corridor was seething, and at first I thought it was the usual mixture of theatre kids and hangers-on, coming to ask Chase a question or deliver a prop, but they were crowding round something, and pushing my way to the front I saw what it was. An A4 sheet of paper in the middle of the Drama noticeboard.

The photograph.

It was the first time I’d seen it, and I couldn’t help noticing the quality of the image. My instinct must have made me press the shutter release, in spite of the shock.

Chase and Kes, looking guilty, amidst shattering glass.

‘Did you take that?’ Kiaru whispered, at the edge of the crowd.

Alisha gripped my arm. ‘Does she know you were there?’

Kids gasped and hooted, the noise getting louder until it was like sports day, and then Chase’s door opened.

‘What’s going on out here? Knock on my door if you want to see me, otherwise, out of the Drama block!’

Lost in the mass of other kids leaving, we turned to watch as Chase examined the poster. There was the sound of paper ripping as she pulled it down.

Twenty-four

At the start of last lesson a prefect arrived to tell the teacher I was required in Kes’s office. Seeing we were all too excited about finishing school at the end of the week to concentrate on land reforms, Mr Hedges had admitted defeat and let us play Monopoly, and I moved my counter six places before collecting my stuff, thinking of the way Ti always finished what she was doing before she exited a classroom. ‘It gives the illusion of being in control,’ she had once said.

It was unusual to be the centre of everyone’s attention, but I could see how you might get used to it. Crave it even.

Kiaru watched from the adjacent table, and I wondered if he was impressed or disappointed.

It was almost a relief walking there. The doors of the teachers’ offices passed by me like pieces of set from a film. So much had happened in the last couple of weeks that I half wanted to be punished. It would be nice to stop hiding things and avoiding people and sneaking around.

Katy Johnson, the prefect escorting me, knocked on the door to Kes’s office, then opened it for me to enter.

Inside, Chase sat with her legs crossed, hands clasped in her lap, lips pressed together. Kes sat behind his desk, upon which was the poster.

My adrenalin level spiked, my cheeks hot, but I met their eyes. Ti had said she’d felt they were united against her when she was brought in, and I did too. What exactly was the deal between them? Was it Kes’s shadow we’d seen that first time at Chase’s? And did that mean he knew Chase was lying about Ti? The stuffed mole burrowed up to the light, and I held my breath, wishing for an underground lair of my own to creep into.

Chase glanced at Kes, who pursed his lips.

‘Titania De Furia has implicated you,’ he said, and there was no chance to deny it, because there on the desk was the self-portrait I’d taken of me with a bleak expression.

‘The time matches the break-in,’ Chase said, and I noticed the blurry orange figures in the bottom right corner. I hated the date feature, and never used it, but Dad had taken my camera on a protest recently, and he loved the date stamp because he hoped to capture the police doing something incriminating. In my rush to leave with Ti I hadn’t noticed it was still on. Not that I’d expected it to be used against me.

‘We don’t know or want to know the motives behind your scheming. We simply don’t have time for this kind of behaviour here. You’ve proven yourself a capable student, but weak-willed and sly, and your presence is not appreciated at this time. Do you understand, Miss Bloom?’

Chase blinked in my direction. ‘Perhaps you’ve been placing your loyalty in the wrong areas,’ she said, and there was a smug look in her blue eyes, because she’d known I was lying, and now I was caught.