When the Music Ends (The Winter Rose Chronicles) (7 page)

They were in there so frequently that no one thought twice about it.

"What’s wrong, Erin?" Sheridan was startled by her
friend’s demeanor.

"Oh God. Danny, are you feeling all right today? I have a
problem."

"Yes, I’m feeling fine. I think I might be a little
better, actually. What’s your problem?"

"Are you sure? I don’t want to add to what you’re
dealing with."

"You know, it’s kind of tiresome how everyone treats me
like I’m about to break. Please, Erin. Spill it. I’m looking
forward to thinking about problems other than my own for a change."

"I think I might be pregnant." Her voice was unsteady,
and she forced the words out quickly.

Sheridan
gave her a puzzled look. "Erin, you have to have sex to get pregnant."

"Yes, I know that."

Sheridan
’s mouth dropped open. "What?
When? Who?"

"I can’t tell you. Oh God, I’m scared."

"Erin, you have to tell me."

"You’ll be mad. I can’t. What do I do?"

"First, you breathe and calm down." She wrapped her arms
around Erin, soothing her with a hug. "Panicking won’t help. Okay,
do you have rehearsal today?"

"No."

"Good. Try to get through the rest of the day. After school we’ll
go to the store and get you a test. Then at least you’ll know.
You’ve been late before."

"Yes, but that was before. There was nothing to worry about
then. Besides, I’ve never been three weeks late."

"Okay, hang in there. Try to stay calm. We’ll take care
of this today."

Sheridan
hugged her friend tight.

Erin
didn’t take in another piece of
information that day. It was all she could do to feign normalcy, and only by
very good luck did she have no tests or quizzes, despite all her high level
courses.

After school Sheridan drove them to the grocery store, where by a
strange coincidence, two-packs of home pregnancy tests were on clearance,
marked cheaper than the singles.

Erin
was shaking with tension by the time they
arrived at her house. Thankfully her mother was not home. Sheridan read the
directions and, through the bathroom door, told Erin what to do.

She capped the little plastic stick and set it on the counter on a
piece of toilet paper, washed her hands, and opened the door.

Sheridan
stepped in and put her arm around Erin’s shoulders. They watched grimly as the little window slowly developed a dark
blue line. Erin closed her eyes as Sheridan hugged her and led her out of the
bathroom, wrapping up the test and throwing it in the trash as she passed.

Erin
sank limply onto the bed, lying on her side,
her face in her hands, and tried not to cry, tried to keep breathing slowly. Sheridan rubbed her back in soothing circles.

"I didn’t realize you were seeing anyone. It’s not
David Landry is it?"

"No."

"Well then, I can’t imagine what you have been up to,
girl. If it’s that clear, this can’t have been very recent."

"Five weeks." Erin said, her voice subdued.

"Around the time of…homecoming?"

"Yes. It could have been that night." She hadn’t
meant to say that.

 "That night?" Sheridan shook her head, confused. "I
don’t understand. You went with Sean. And you were with me…later
that night. I don’t see how you could have been…busy in between.
Did you ditch Sean? Go with someone else? No, that doesn’t make sense.
You were with him at the hospital…OH MY GOD!"

Erin
started to cry softly.

"Erin, this might sound stupid, but…are you sleeping
with my brother?"

She didn’t answer. Sheridan picked up the phone and called
Sean.

"Big brother, I’m at Erin’s house. You need to get
here right now. She needs you."

"Is she all right?"

"No she’s not. Come now."

She hung up and lay down beside her friend, wrapping her arms around
her. Erin’s fragile grip on partial composure exploded in a flood of
guilt.

"I’m so sorry, Danny," she sobbed, "I swear
if I had known, I wouldn’t have let you go with him. I can’t stand
it. I should have stayed with you. I knew he was no good. It’s my
fault."

"Don’t be stupid, Erin. It’s his fault. Not yours.
Don’t waste another moment feeling guilty about it."

"I can’t help it. I was doing…that, having this
wonderful time and all the while…"

"You didn’t know. I can’t believe it though. You
and Sean. I knew you two belonged together, but I didn’t think you would
move so fast. What about saving your virginity?"

"That was your deal, not mine. It wasn’t a big priority
for me. Not when I was with Sean. I didn’t before because I didn’t
care about anyone else, but I love him. Why do you say we belong
together?"

"Just a feeling I have. I know you love him. You have for a
while. That’s why I set you two up. I thought you would be good for him.
I didn’t think he would be…like that though. Did he hurt
you?"

"No, Danny. It’s really nice, when you’re with the
right person and you want it so much. I hope some day you know that."

"That day is not close." Sheridan looked down, her lip
quivering.

"Of course not." Erin returned her friend’s hug,
giving and taking comfort from the same embrace.

They lapsed into silence. Erin’s tears were fading, her eyes
were closed. Her breathing deepened. She seemed to be drifting to sleep, which
was probably a good thing. Sheridan stepped out of the room to call her parents
and let them know where she was.

About half an hour later, Sean was there. Erin had made him a key to
the house, and she had one to his apartment.

He looked down at the sleeping girl with such a powerful expression
on his face that he would have completely given himself away to his sister even
if she hadn’t known already. It was a look of affection but also of
possession.

Sheridan
left the bed and beckoned him out of the
room, softly shutting the door.

"What’s wrong with her?"

"She’s pregnant, Sean. You made my best friend
pregnant."

"Oh shit. Really?"

"Yes, really. Why were you sleeping with her?" Sheridan asked harshly, her eyes filled with accusations against which there was no
defense. "There are tons of women out there. Why Erin?"

"Hey, you were the one who set us up." His defensive
answer could not conceal the wave of guilt that washed visibly over his face.

"Yes, but not so that you could seduce her. She was a
virgin."
            "I
know. It’s not like I was just trying to score or anything. You know me
better than that."

"But, Sean, don’t you realize how susceptible girls are
when their parents don’t love them enough, and they’re getting
divorced too. She’s so vulnerable. She would have done whatever you
wanted. Did you really have to go all the way?"

"I didn’t take advantage, Danny. I swear. I tried to
stop twice. She begged me."

Sheridan
made a disbelieving face.

"I’m serious. She wanted it so bad, and she’s so
pretty and sweet. There’s only so much a man can take. Besides, everyone
gives it up sooner or later. The lucky ones get to do it with someone who cares
about them."

Sheridan
flinched.

"Oh God, Danny. I’m sorry. I didn’t think."
He hugged his sister in apology. "Anyway, that doesn’t count. Some
day, you’ll meet someone wonderful who will love you, and it will be just
as good for you as it is for us." He was making excuses. How stupid. As
though he were a naughty child caught with a cookie in each hand and chocolate
smeared over his face. It wasn’t like that, and he needed to stop being
defensive and tell the truth, one he’d known for a while, but had only
admitted to himself. "As for this situation, she’s not alone. I
know how special she is. I want to keep her forever." He took a deep
breath. "I love her."

"Does she know that?" Sheridan was still eyeing him
suspiciously.

"She wasn’t ready to hear it. I’m working on
it." And that was the only reason he hadn’t said anything. He did
not want to make his declaration, knowing she would argue with him, reject his
words, not because she didn’t want them, but because she had no
confidence in herself.

"Well you need to work faster, Sean. She’s really going
to need you now."

Sheridan
was right. Erin’s security was more
important than his pride. "I’m not going anywhere." He told
his sister. That was one thing he was certain about. He would be there for Erin. He wouldn’t abandon her.

"Good. You had better go and tell her that."

He nodded and went back into the bedroom. Kneeling beside the bed,
he stroked Erin’s cheek until she opened her eyes. She smiled sadly, her
eyes wistful. He kissed her forehead.

"I’m sorry." His regret bled into his soft tone.

"Me too." She sat up slowly, as thought her body ached.
He supposed it was the shock of the situation.

"I’m here, no matter what," he assured her.

"I know."

He drew her into his arms. She laid her cheek on his shoulder.

"I love you, Erin."

"Why?" Such disbelief. It stung him, just as he had
known it would.

"Because you’re Erin. That’s reason enough."

She waited a moment, and he felt the tension drain out of her until
she was limp in his arms. He stroked her back.

"What are we going to do?"

"I don’t know, baby, but we’ll work it out
together." He kissed her sweetly, tenderly, wanting to show her how much
she was loved.

            A
couple of days later, the Friday of the week before Thanksgiving, Erin’s mom called to her as she entered the house after school. Erin hadn’t
said a word about being pregnant to her mother. She wasn’t ready to deal
with it yet. She walked into the living room. Valerie was seated on the brown
leather sofa, her blond highlighted hair pulled back into a clip, plucking her
eyebrows.

            "What
did you need, Mom?"

            "I
needed to tell you that we’re moving. As part of the divorce settlement, the
house is going to be sold and your dad and I will split the money."

            "Where
are we going to live? I know of some apartments downtown." Sean lived
there. That would be nice.

            "No.
Bill lives in Motley. We’re moving in with him," she told her
daughter off-handedly, her focus on the mirror.

            Erin stared at her mother in disbelief. This couldn’t be happening. "Motley?
That’s hours away. I can’t live in Motley."

            "Why
not? I know it’s not ideal, moving your senior year, but what difference
does it make? You would be leaving to go to college in the fall anyway. Your
time here is so short."

            "Mom,
that’s a really small town. Do they even have symphonic band there?
All-State tryouts are coming up. I can’t miss that."

            "Erin, you’ve already made state twice." Valerie pulled out a snippet of hair,
winced, and rubbed her orbital bone.

            "That
doesn’t matter. Besides, I have to be here for Danny. She’s having
a really hard time right now."

            "No,
she has a family. She doesn’t need you." Erin’s mother tossed
out the most painful, cruel thing she could have ever said to her daughter
flippantly, as though it didn’t matter in the slightest. Erin blanched.

            "She
does. I need her too. My life is here. My boyfriend is here. All my
opportunities are here. I don’t even know Bill. Why would I want to live
with him? Can’t you just wait to sell the house until I graduate,
please?"

            "Erin, settle down." At last Valerie set her toiletries aside and looked at her
daughter. "No, the sale can’t wait. We’re moving over
Thanksgiving break."

            "I
won’t go with you," Erin insisted stubbornly, "I’m
eighteen. I don’t need to live with my mother anymore."

            "How
will you support yourself, Erin? You don’t earn much playing in the
symphony." Her calm, reasonable tone annoyed her daughter further.

            "I’ll
figure something out. Don’t worry about me. You never have anyway.
I’ll take care of it myself."

            "Don’t
be like that, dear. Please just consider it." She rose and laid her hand
on Erin’s arm.

            "I
won’t. My God you’re selfish. I’m not going anywhere."

            Erin jerked away from her mother and left the house. She didn’t slam the door,
although the part of her that really was still a teenager wanted to.