Where Loyalty Lies (38 page)

“Faine” Holt's voice snapped me out of my thoughts. His expectant look reminded me that I still hadn’t replied to the question that had provoked my mental tirade.

“No, they didn’t leave anything. Just me.”

Holt frowned. He opened his mouth to speak but then closed it again. He was probably having difficulty finding the right thing to say. Finally he let out a long sigh and dropped his head back against the sofa. 

“There might have been a good reason why they didn’t find you.”

I scoffed. “Yeah right and maybe one day they’ll come and find me and take me off to live at their castle and we can all live happily after.”

“So you don’t want to find them?” Holt asked.

I shook my head. “I don’t care what their reasons were, they left me alone and unprotected. I grew up confused and lonely and Incorruptus almost killed me anyway. Why on earth would I want to find them? If they were really that bothered about me they’d have come to find me, but they didn’t so I’m sure as hell not going to bother.” My fists were clenched so hard that my hands were beginning to ache.

“It might not have been that easy,” Holt said.

“Maybe,” I agreed, “but right now I just can’t handle it.”

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Holt nod in agreement. I knew he had only been trying to help. Surely most orphans would jump at the chance to find their parents but I needed to get a grip on what I was already dealing with before I could even consider bringing on more challenges. Between my daily tests, my impending trial, my new plans for my future and the whole mess of feelings I had for Saul, I felt like I was already spreading myself thinly. Everything else would have to wait.

I couldn’t understand why some people not only chose to have therapy but actually paid for it as well. Of course people usually went because they needed someone to talk to or to get a better understanding of themselves, but my sessions were very different. It was basically me sitting in a room answering questions and telling my life story so far. It didn’t help that my therapist was a male vampire and so was about as far away from my own mindset as you could possibly get.

Today’s session had covered my past relationships and some very intimate questions about my sex life. These would have been uncomfortable enough to answer without the fact that I had to try to make myself seem more vampire than human. 

Holt had been going over things with me, helping me to understand the vampire way of thinking so that I could use it in my sessions. He’d roped Henry in too. But we’d never covered the issue of sex. That was a good thing because the thought of Holt and Henry trying to explain to me about how the birds and the bees worked in the vampire world was just cringe-worthy.

As it turned out, I’d only needed to think of Henry, Saul and Thomas to realise what I needed to say to my therapist. So, instead of saying I’d tried to find love, I painted a picture of a cold-hearted nymphomaniac who liked to love ’em and leave ’em. Once I got into it, I had quite a lot of fun. In reality I hadn’t slept with many men, in fact I could count them on my fingers, so I’d tripled the numbers and made up stories of Italian studs and French poets.

By the end of the day, though, I felt boredom setting in and I was coming close to losing my temper. Therefore, I was extremely happy when I got to my room to find Henry, Thomas and Roy sitting at my dining room table with a deck of cards and a Bacardi and Coke waiting for me.

“Oh, how I love you guys,” I said, taking my place at the table.

“You had a good day in therapy, then,” Roy said as he started shuffling cards and dealing them out between us.

“I don’t think the words ‘good’ and ‘therapy’ even go together in the same sentence,” I grumbled.

“You got that right,” Roy said as he picked up his hand and started reorganising them.

“You’ve had therapy?” I asked.

 “Yes,” Roy said, “but all my therapy was standard issue for when you get turned.”

“Only if you’re a newbie,” Henry quipped.

I grinned at Roy. “You mean to tell me, you aren’t hundreds of years old like everyone else round here seems to be?”

Before Roy could answer, Thomas cut him off. “Nah, little Roy here’s just a baby. What is it now? Eight years since you were turned?”

Roy scowled, “It’s twelve, actually.”

I laughed. “Well, I think that’s awesome. It’s nice to know someone who was born in the same century as me.”

“Damn right,” Roy said. “I bring some fresh blood to the group. Stop these old boys from getting rusty.”

Thomas gave Roy a playful shove. “These old boys only let you into the group to fill the place of our dear old friend, Jonesey.”

I looked at Henry. “Who’s Jonesey?”

Henry sat back in his chair and sighed. “Ah, Jonesey. I remember him like he was here yesterday. Dreadful at poker. I used to make a fortune off him. Poor sod never saw it coming.”

“He’s dead?” I asked.

“No,” Henry said, still looking wistful. “He found his mate. Over two hundred years of seeing him almost every day and then, one day, he meets his mate and that’s it. They moved off to live happily ever after.”

I laughed. “Is that true?”

“Yes, it’s true,” said Thomas. “Lucky bastard. He’d been around less than three hundred years and he found her.”

My mind boggled at the number. The thought that I might live for longer than one hundred years was hard enough for me to get my head round, but to imagine thinking three hundred years was a short wait was crazy. With the topic being mates, I couldn’t help but remember the conversation I’d had with Ian and Richard.

“Is it true that, once you find your mate, there’s nothing you wouldn’t do for them?” I asked.

“Yes, that’s true,” Thomas said. “But the majority of us aren’t ever lucky enough to find them.”

I wondered whether I should mention the story I’d been told about Saul. The truth was that I was desperate to find out more and I knew Henry would be a good person to ask, but I wasn’t sure if it was appropriate.

Henry laid his cards carefully face down on the table and twisted in his chair to face me. His head cocked gently to the side and a thoughtful look covered his face; he was studying my emotions.

“I do believe someone’s told you about what happened with the Reapers.”

I nodded, amazed at how spot on he was.

“And I’m guessing they also told you about Alina.”

I nodded again.

“Do you believe it?” Henry asked in a casual tone that implied he wasn’t really bothered about the answer. Thomas and Roy both turned their gazes on me.

I thought my answer over carefully before I answered. “I believe The Sénat sent him there to bring the Reapers down from the inside. I believe he spent over a hundred years with them to earn their trust. And I also believe he killed them all. I don’t believe he’s a traitor who plans to bring down the Sénat. As for Alina, I’m not sure. At first I thought maybe she was his mate but, if you say a vampire would do anything for their mate, then Saul would never have wiped out the Reapers. So, no, I guess I don’t believe it.”

My answer was honest and complete. I had to admit, I was surprised. I was forever reminding myself that Saul couldn’t be trusted and yet my gut instinct told me that his dealings with the Reapers had made him resilient, but not a traitor.

A slow smile spread its way across Henry’s face and I could tell my answer was right. But this wasn’t the comical grin I usually saw on Henry; it was filled with pride and affection and I knew I’d been wrong in thinking my answer didn’t matter to him.

“Spot on,” he said simply. Then he stood and refilled our glasses.

* * *

It turned out that that was only the first of many refills. At some point around one in the morning I remembered I had combat training with Peter tomorrow, no, today, and so I really should get some sleep.

As Thomas had been topping up my glass before I’d even finished, it had become a little blurry as to how much I’d actually drunk. But, if my slightly slurred speech and inability to walk in a straight line was anything to go by, it was a lot.

The three men watched with humour as I staggered across the room muttering about beauty sleep. It was only when I stubbed my toe on the corner of the sofa, and after much yelping, hopping and slumping into a heap on the floor, that anyone bothered to help.

Roy knelt down next to me and I gave him a desperate look.

“I think it’s broken.” I showed him my big toe and, to his credit, Roy kept a straight face as he examined it.

“I think you’ll live.”

“No,” I argued, “it’s definitely broken.”

I was about to suggest calling a doctor when Roy hooked his arm under mine and, in one swift motion, had me on my feet. All thoughts of a doctor left my mind as the room started spinning.

“A good night’s sleep’s all you need,” Roy said.

“I quite agree,” Henry said, appearing next to me and taking me out of Roy’s grip. “And I don’t think she’d be getting that if you go in her bedroom.”

I gave an exaggerated gasp and looked at Roy. “Why, Roy, I’m shocked, surely you’d never take advantage of a lady in my condition?”

“A lady? Never. You? Abso-fucking-lutely.” He gave me a cheeky wink before my bedroom door closed between us.

Henry pretty much carried me to the bed muttering about how Roy should rein it in if he wanted to keep his head. He all but threw me onto the mattress and I laughed as I bounced before landing right in the centre.

“Ah, Henry, I never realised you were so protective of me. Ooooo, look, this one’s so pretty!” I’d found today’s flower resting on my pillow. It was bright orange, with large frilly petals. “I’m lucky I didn’t squish it.” I crawled to the edge of the bed and popped it into the vase with the rest.

Henry eyed my odd bouquet with interest. “It looks like someone has an admirer.”

I frowned at both Henry’s comment and the fact that it was proving so difficult to get my jeans off. Finally I won the battle and threw them across the room in the vague direction of my laundry basket.

“You don’t get flowers on your pillow?” I asked.

Henry whipped the covers from underneath me and threw them over me, probably trying to save my modesty as I stripped off my top and bra and collapsed with my head on the pillows, pulling the duvet up under my chin.

“Flowers are a little feminine for me,” Henry commented.

“Well, a mint, then, or... I don’t know... a shot of whisky or something,” I said through a huge yawn.

“No, I think it’s just you,” Henry said as he turned the light off. “Sleep well.”

I mumbled my own good night and tried to work out why Henry’s words were important but sleep proved too persuasive and, in seconds, I was gone.

I was on a high as I made my way back towards my room. I’d excelled in my combat training today and, although Peter hadn’t actually voiced his approval, he’d given me a satisfied nod. From Peter, that was high praise indeed. Thanks to last night’s drinking/poker/making-an-idiot-of-myself session, I’d been exactly four minutes late and so Peter had been extra tough on me. It had seemed to make me step up my game. 

I could feel the aches and bruises on my body from the few blows he’d managed to land on me but I bore them with pride.

Just to add to my excitement I now had two whole weeks off. It was the 22
^nd
of December and I only had to endure one final week of testing in January before my official trial.

I’d just reached the top of the stairs in the main entrance hall when the sound of voices reached me. It was the mention of Saul’s name that made me stop. I quietened my footsteps and pressed myself back against the wall.

“I’m telling you, it’s true. He went to The Sénat this morning and told them he’d be taking no more jobs for the foreseeable future.”

I didn’t recognise the voice.

“He really said that? But Saul never turns down a job; hell, I can’t even remember the last time he took a holiday. What’s got into him?”

“Well, that’s just it. When The Sénat asked him what his reasons were for taking time off, he flat out refused to tell them. Rumour has it it’s because of her.”

“What? You don’t mean to tell me she’s the reason for all this.”

“Apparently so,” the first guy replied.

“But that makes no sense; why would he need to take time off for her? It’s not like she can go anywhere.”

“Who knows? Maybe it’s so he can be around for her trial, or maybe trying to get her into bed’s become a full time occupation. What I do know is that his loss is our gain; the longer he’s out of work, the further down the ladder he’ll fall. Who’d have guessed the half-breed would have given us such a wonderful gift for Christmas?”

The voices faded as they continued on to wherever they were headed. My mind seemed to fill with white noise as I stood dumbfounded. That couldn’t be right. That guy had been right when he’d said it made no sense for Saul to take time off for me.

On autopilot, my feet started moving, but I didn’t even notice my whereabouts until I was in my own front room.  I dumped my bag of sweaty workout clothes on the floor and cursed that nobody was here. Why was it that, when I really wanted to see a vampire in my room, there was none?