Where Loyalty Lies (40 page)

Saul’s pupils grew slightly. “Who is she?”

I frowned, wondering how he knew it was a woman, and then I realised I’d slipped up.

“It doesn’t matter,” I said.

“It does to me, she’s responsible for the entire mess that we’ve been stuck in for months and I want to know who it is I have to blame for that. Was it Monique?”

I was very tempted to drop Monique in it. After all, she’d tried to screw me over, but I decided to take the high road.

“It doesn’t matter who it was now. All that matters is that what they said wasn’t true?” It came out as a question and, although I felt slightly guilty for needing to ask it, I knew that I needed to hear Saul say it out loud.

“Of course it was a lie. I’m besotted with you, Faine. I have been ever since I first laid eyes on you at the Autumn Ball. That’s what I’ve wanted to tell you all this time, but you’re just so stubborn.” He shook his head. “I should have tried harder. I’d assumed you were struggling with baggage from the past and I didn’t want to push you. If I’d known it was all caused by some poisonous gossip, then I’d have held onto you and forced you to listen.”

I laughed and sat on the sofa. “It wouldn’t have done any good. Like you said, I’m too stubborn and I’d have thought you were lying. There was nothing you could have done to convince me but, after seeing you in the conservatory, my mind was all muddled and then I realised it was you who’d been leaving the flowers for me...” I trailed off, pondering. “It was like it all suddenly clicked into place and I think, deep down, maybe I always knew you really liked me and I was just scared. I’m sorry, Saul. I’m sorry I used someone else’s words as an excuse not to trust you, even though you’ve never given me a reason not to.”

Saul took my hands in his and I felt tingles of excitement shoot up my arms. “I didn’t think you’d ever give me a chance. The day we had that argument at the pool, I thought you’d decided you didn’t want to be involved with a vampire. I thought it was all too much for you, but then you started to get more and more involved with everyone else here and I knew it wasn’t vampires that were a problem for you, it was me.”

I considered telling Saul exactly why I’d been spending all my time upping my social status with the residents of Rillith, but it seemed like it would be a long conversation and right now I didn’t want conversation. I wanted to kiss him, so I did.

For a second Saul seemed taken aback by my pouncing on him but then his arms wrapped round me. I knelt with a leg either side of him and pressed my body against his, feeling my entire body heat at the contact. I curled my fingers into his hair and tilted his head back so that I could kiss him harder. I needed him, needed his hands on my skin and his mouth on my body.

“Take me to bed,” I murmured between kisses.

“You’re sure?” Saul breathed. “I don’t want you to think I’m using you and that I don’t really love you.”

I froze. “You... you... what?”

Saul stopped and, after a few seconds, he leant back so that he could look at me. His arms tightened around me, as if to make sure I couldn’t get away. “I love you, Faine. I love the way you purse your lips when you’re angry and trying not to lose your temper. I love the way you wrinkle your nose when Thomas cracks his knuckles. I love the sound of your laugh. I love the colour your cheeks go when you blush. I love that you have no idea just how incredible you are.” He cupped my face in his hands and swept his thumb over my lips. “I love every single thing about you. I know I should have waited a while to tell you, but...”

“I love you too.”

The words had spilled from my lips before I’d known I was going to say them.
That’s crazy
, a little voice in my mind piped up,
you can’t be in love already, you hardly even know each other
. I ignored it. So what if it was crazy?

Saul smiled at me and my heart jumped.

“I love you too,” I said again, “now take me to bed.” 

At the same moment I opened my eyes, my nose filled with Saul’s scent. Pine fresh with a hint of something heavier underneath. I was curled up in Saul’s arms and, as my vision focused, I could see that Saul was awake and watching me. I blinked sleepily at him.

“How long have I been asleep?” I asked.

“It’s just before midnight,” Saul replied.

I sat up, sad at the distance it took me from Saul’s arms, but I needed to stretch. I leant back on my mound of pillows, reached my hands up above me and pointed my toes towards the end of the bed, enjoying the feeble protest that my weary limbs gave me. It was then I realised that, at some point between falling asleep and waking up, Saul had pulled the covers over me. Saul lay on his side and propped his head up on his arm. He had the covers pulled up to his waist and I again admired the muscles of his body.

“I hope you didn’t have any other plans for this evening?” I said.

“Nothing important,” he replied. “Did you?”

I shook my head. “I have two whole weeks off now and I plan to do nothing.”

“Nothing?” Saul shot me a sly grin but then it vanished and he became serious. “Given all the socialising you’ve been doing lately, I’m sure there are lots of events and gatherings that you’re supposed to attend.”

That was true; like it or not, I’d agreed to go to numerous social mixings. Every single one was going to be dull and pretentious but, as I kept reminding myself, it was all necessary if I was going to achieve my goal.

There had been a slight edge to Saul’s voice and I knew he was curious to know the reason for my new lifestyle. I weighed up the pros and cons of telling him and decided it was best I did. Even if he thought it was ridiculous, I was sure his knowledge would be invaluable.

“Do you remember the day I found that book about half-breeds?” I asked.

If Saul was thrown by my sudden change of topic, he didn’t show it. He gave a solemn nod.

“After reading it, I was so upset. I still can’t come to terms with how barbaric it all seems. But what makes it so much worse is that it’s still happening. I know that, technically, it’s against the law for people like me to be murdered now, but Incorruptus are still doing it and nobody here seems that bothered about it. Anyway, I talked to Dale about it for hours and he explained that it’s because vampires have such a low opinion of humans; they don’t really care what happens to them or to half-breeds.”

I stopped suddenly, realising I’d insulted Saul. When I snuck a look at him, he was indeed frowning but, before I could back-track, he spoke.

“Dale? That’s who was here that day?” he asked.

It was then that I remembered the confrontation that Dale and Saul had had that day and also the fact that, from Saul’s point of view, it must have looked like Dale and I had slept together.

“Yes, that’s him. He’s just a friend.” My words sounded lame even to my ears so I quickly rambled on. “After the argument I had with you, Henry and Holt, Dale came to cheer me up. I was a mess and he told me I should sleep but I refused, you know being so stubborn, so he told me I should at least rest so I lay on the bed and he just sat and talked to me. I fell asleep almost immediately and I think he must have done too because, when I woke up, well, that was when you two were... talking.” Was I paranoid or did that sound like the feeblest cover-up ever?

Saul just nodded. “And Dale told you that all vampires hate humans?”

Saul’s voice had a definite hardness to it now and I felt myself getting flustered. How the hell was I supposed to get around this? I didn’t want to drop Dale in it, especially because I happened to agree with everything he’d told me but, if I was too eager in my support of Dale, Saul might think there was more between Dale and I than just friendship.

“No, he didn’t say hate... and he didn’t say all. He just said that most vampires look down on humans, that’s all.” I frowned in frustration. When had this become an interrogation? “But the point is that I was upset that there are so many vampires who are unconcerned about what happens to humans or half-breeds. And Dale’s right, that’s because there’s no shared respect between them.”

I didn’t know how to continue. What exactly was the correct way to tell somebody that you didn’t agree with the way their civilisation lived and that you wanted to change the way they acted? Why had I thought I should tell Saul this? Finally, finally we were together, as I’d longed to be for months, and in less than six hours I was about to insult him in possibly the biggest way I could. I was such an idiot for not thinking this through properly.

I gave Saul a desperate look, hoping that he’d let the subject drop. He said nothing but the look he gave me said that neither of us would be leaving this room until I’d filled him in.

“This is going to sound awful,” I said. “I’m so crap with words that I don’t know how to say it without sounding like I’m insulting you and every other decent vampire I know.”

“So just give me your own blunt version,” Saul encouraged.

My mouth suddenly felt dry. “Okay then, but promise me you won’t get pissed and leave before I’ve had a chance to explain.”

“I promise.”

Saul seemed amused at my worrying. I hoped he’d stay that way.

“Well, I decided there isn’t anything I can do about what happened in the past but I have to try to do something to change the future for people like me. So my plan is to hopefully have The Sénat accept me as a vampire and then I can live here, do what I can to become accepted by people and then maybe one day I can start doing things to change the way vampires see humans. If I could just make vampires see that actually they don’t have to look down on humans then things could be better all round and then, if they didn’t have a problem with humans, they definitely wouldn’t have a problem with half-breeds and then someone would realise that something needed to be done to stop Incorruptus.”

It had all come out in a rush and I took a deep breath feeling like an idiot. I realised that it had sounded like I thought a lot of myself. I might as well have said I’d decided I was going to cure all disease, create world peace and put an end to global warming. I waited for Saul to get angry or laugh at me but he did neither. I tried to work out what he was feeling but it was impossible.

“So?” I asked.

“So that’s why you’ve been spending so much time with all those vampires?” he said.

I nodded, confused by his question. I was sure there were other questions that should have been at the top of his list. Saul seemed to relax at little at my affirmation and that made me even more confused.

“Why’s that so important to you?” I asked.

Saul sat up and moved closer to me. I tried and failed not to notice that the covers had ridden down, dangerously low on his hips.

“I couldn’t stand seeing you with them,” he confessed. “I could tell that, for you, there was no sexual intent but, for them, it was a very different story. I hated every time I saw you talking and laughing with them and, when they put their filthy hands on you, it was all I could do not to kill them there and then.”

“Nothing ever happened, I wouldn’t have let it. I just used their attentions to work my way into all their groups,” I said. “I can’t believe that, out of everything I’ve just told you, that’s what’s bothering you? I mean I just laid out my whole big plan and you’re more worried that I’ve been spending time with other men.”

Saul gave me a half smile and it made him look so sexy that I almost pounced on him again.

“It is a big plan,” he agreed. “But I can honestly say that I wouldn’t expect any less from you. You should know that I think you’re right; I never agreed with the law that said half-breeds should be killed. There are many vampires who think it’s wrong, but we’re bound by the laws of The Sénat. There isn’t a political system in the whole world that has everything running perfectly. Where there are laws, there’ll also be problems. The problem with The Sénat is that, when the thirteen of them started ruling, they were chosen for their age alone. Over the years they’ve whittled down to just five, but the laws state that, only when there are three Elders left, can the remaining ten be replaced. Nobody knows who the replacements will be but, seeing as it’s The Sénat that gets to choose them, it’ll probably be more vampires of the same mindset. So we’ll be stuck in a vicious circle of being ruled by people we don’t choose to represent us.”

I was right, Saul’s information was already proving useful. What he’d just said explained so much of the way that vampires lived. And it showed that some vampires really were compassionate, just like Saul, Henry and Holt. Unfortunately, it also made my big plan seem even more pathetic.

“Do you think I’m wasting my time?” I asked. “I mean I’m sure I could convince some of the vampires here that their relationship with humans and half-breeds could be better, but I have no chance of convincing The Sénat so my efforts will be for nothing.”

“I think this is something you need to do. It’s important to you and I have a feeling that, despite it seeming like the odds are against you, you’ll find a way to succeed.”

It felt wonderful to have someone believe in me. It made me feel all warm inside.

 “What you have to remember,” continued Saul, “is that vampires are the same as humans. There may be a louder portion of them who agree with The Sénat, but there’ll always be an undercurrent who quietly disagree. It’ll be those people who’ll side with you.”