Authors: Hilary Storm
I close my eyes as she climbs on behind me. She’s not supposed to feel so good. She’s not supposed to get to me like she continuously does. I’m not supposed to want her to lower her hands and take hold of the speed of everything between us. Because if she would just show me one sign that she’d be ok with anything more, I don’t think I could tell my body no. She has been torturing me for literally twenty-four hours now and I want nothing more than to show her how a real man handles a lady.
I’m sure Luke took care of her. Shit, what am I thinking?
“Are we just going to sit here?” She wraps her arms around my waist and leans forward so that her tits are against my back. I inhale and tell myself no.
I start the engine and take off slowly, then speed up once we get to the path I usually take. I know this like the back of my hand, so it’s easy for me to move quickly through the trees. Her grip on my waist tightens and I slow down some.
“You alright back there?”
“Yes.” I take off again and just let the wind hit us in the face. She wraps herself even tighter around my waist and this time I don’t stop to check on her. I just enjoy the moment.
We get to the stream and I slow way down. “This is where I love to ride. I usually take it straight down this stream and kick up mud the entire way.”
“Let’s do it then!” She doesn’t even hesitate. “Can I do it?” I’m about to take off when I hear her.
“I want to drive it.”
“You have to keep us moving and if I see something, listen to me and do exactly as I say.”
“I can do that.” She slides off the back and I slide back a little bit. I appreciate everything about her as she works her way in front of me and I don’t stop my hands from holding her inner thighs to stay on. Her waist is tiny and my hands need something to hold on to in case she takes off without me.
“Now this is your throttle. Ease up on it before you go into the stream.” She takes us on a smooth ride along the barrier of the stream for a few hundred feet, then turns back around to enter the mud. I’m going to either love this or hate this. There won’t be an in between.
She does well at the first, then it gets muddier and shit starts flying. This is the part I was afraid of. See when you ride solo, you can lean forward and throw mud up the back. Well, she’s throwing mud alright. I’m positive I’m wearing most of it, but I don’t stop her because our asses will be stuck.
She slows down and I know we’re getting ready to stall out.
Fuck. I shift us both forward and slide her legs up so that I can get mine under hers and reach forward for the handles. I wrap my hands around hers and take off. I can see over her shoulder as her ass sits right on my cock. This is true fucking torture and I get us out of the stream the second there’s an opening.
We come to a stop and she gets her footing to lift off of me. I slide off and start to walk around. The thick mud caked on my jeans starts to slide down as I move. I look at her and she busts out laughing. That’s a laugh I could get used to.
She’s also a muddy mess and her laughter runs through me, so I start laughing with her.
“You look like you were dipped in shit!” She speaks through her laugh and begins removing mud off herself.
“You do too.” She takes a blob of mud from her leg and throws it at me. I notice she’s about half muddy and I’m covered from head to toe. After she throws mud at me, it’s on. I take off running to her and wrap my arms around her, making sure to rub mud in every clean place.
She’s hysterical and I’m not letting up. We end up slipping on the soft ground and both fall to the ground and if I had watched this happen, I’d think this was one of the biggest fucking Hallmark movies I’ve ever seen. But in the moment, it feels great to have her in my arms even if she can’t stop laughing.
We land and I stop myself from falling on top of her. Call it a pushup stance as I blanket over her. We both stop laughing and look into each other’s muddy faces.
“You know that laugh could be hard on a guy’s ego.”
“Don’t be. I love hearing it.” I stay frozen above her and my eyes lock with hers. I watch her eyes darken and then feel her arms wrap around my back until she’s pulling me down on top of her.
Her lips land on mine as she lifts her head to meet mine and I quickly slide to my side and roll us over so that she is fully in the driver’s seat on this.
God, she feels so good on me like this. I’ve craved her and honestly the fact that I know so much about her now makes me cherish this so much more. She’s not one to do this with just anyone.
She straddles me and begins to desperately tug at my shirt. I lift off the ground and let her remove it. She sits up and watches me as I slowly let my back lower to the ground once again. Her eyes are about the only thing that isn’t smeared in mud at this point.
She slowly lifts her shirt over her head and I watch her let her hair out of the hat, tossing both to the side. She’s wearing a black lacy bra and I can see through it perfectly. Fuck, she’s gorgeous.
She lowers her head to mine and begins to kiss me again. I lay with my arms beside me and let her make every single move at the beginning, then I can’t stand not feeling her body in my hands. I may only get this one chance with her and I don’t plan on regretting a single fucking thing.
I won’t push for anything, but I sure as fuck won’t turn her away when she has consumed my every thought since I met her.
What am I doing? I’m obviously not thinking about what I’m doing. But shit. He just feels good. He looks at me like I’m beautiful and that just doesn’t happen to me. Luke didn't even do that. He always had a look of guilt in his eyes because of his own hurt.
Can I really just let myself continue attacking him? His tongue. His hands. His chest. I just want to rub the mud on his body. Or maybe I want to rub the mud off his body in a shower. I don’t know. I just know I’m enjoying this right now and if we stop, I may never have the boldness to dive into it again.
His hands cover my ass and I find myself wishing he’d let his fingers slide up and under my shorts just once. God, I’m pathetic. I sit up with an urgency and lift off of him to get my shirt. I hate myself for what I just did and now I’m going to have to deal with the awkwardness of the rest of this day. Shit.
He stands and hands me the hat I just threw and then tucks his shirt in his back pocket. I look at the ground so I don’t have to look at his perfect torso and chest as he probably searches for an answer of what the hell just happened.
“Yes. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t ever be sorry with me. Kimber. Look at me.” I can’t. He’s too fucking deep for me in this moment and I know he’s going to tell me I did nothing wrong. When I know I did. I took advantage of him and the situation.
I look up and see him smiling.
“Stop beating yourself up. Remember… you were going to learn to live. I’m thinking you were just living for the moment right then and I can honestly say I fucking enjoyed that. So tell me the next time you want to live for the moment and I’d be happy to help you.”
“I’m terrible. It wasn’t you that I was kissing the entire time. I kept flashing to him. Why can’t I let myself accept that I walked away from him?”
“Because love does wacky shit to you. We’ve known each other for twenty-four hours. Just like anyone else in the world, we both have our pasts.”
“But I want to move forward. This is about me moving on to a new journey and away from the past. How can I do that when the guy I keep pulling toward is tied to my fucking past.” He looks at me and I contemplate whether or not I should continue.
“Aiden. You’re easy to be around. I’m drawn to you and your love of life more than anyone I’ve ever seen. I wanted more than anything to let us be together last night and consider you like my passage. I finally talk myself into it, then BAM. You tell me you’re his friend. How can you be my passage when you’re a damn door that leads right to my past?”
“That’s deep shit to talk about while I’m standing here covered from head to toe in mud. All I can say is I’m attracted to you. I felt a connection to you the second I met you and it hasn’t stopped since. That’s why I was blowing off my friend’s person at the cabin all evening. I wanted to spend more time with you.”
“You know if you would’ve met me in the cabin as Kimber in the beginning, neither of us would’ve even considered letting it go beyond a simple hello. Now you’ve seen my tits and we’ve kissed twice. You can’t say you accidentally kissed someone twice.”
“Neither one of my kisses were accidental.” His words stop my thoughts.
“Mine weren’t either.”
“Then why don’t you stop over thinking things? We can just take it easy the rest of the day and see where it takes us.”
“But don’t you see? We can never let this be anything more than what it is right here. No matter how much I want to touch you right now.” He walks closer to me and I take a few steps back until he starts talking.
“Yes we can. You’re not in a relationship and neither am I. So as far as I’m concerned we can do what the fuck we want. Do you really think Luke wants you to swear off men for the rest of your life?”
“No but it’s only been a week since I left him. One week. That’s seven days.”
“Right. And he was literally with someone the second you left him. So what is your point?” His words hurt. They are true, but they hurt. My eyes begin to tear up and I don’t know why I even let my tears build up in the first place. I left him. I walked away from him, so none of this is anyone’s fault but my own. And fate. Stupid fate or destiny.
“I didn’t mean to sound insensitive. I’ll never pressure you for anything more than you’re willing to give. I know you plan to leave soon, and I just want you to be able to fucking live when you walk through that passage you’re creating.” He wipes my tear. Just like Luke always did and now I want to fucking scream.
“Why did you do that?”
“Wipe my tear with your thumb. Is that some fucking Southern bullshit? He did that too.”
“Of course he did. Well, honey. That’s just the gentlemanly thing to do when a woman you care about cries.” Cares about. I heard that. “I’m sorry your guys before us were assholes. I never want to make a woman cry. I want to be the reason she never feels the need to cry again.”
“Oh. My. God. I can’t take all of this. This day was supposed to be simple. You’re not supposed to be something I’m curious about. You’re not supposed to tempt me the entire day. Aiden. How am I supposed to think straight when you look like you do?”
“Well maybe you should just get me out of your system. Then you can do your thinking.”
She’s so angry, and I want more than anything to take away her hurt, but I can’t. Time will heal, or so they say.
Today has been a great day even though we had the heated conversation on the ride. She didn’t say a word as I drove us back to the cabin. We both went our separate ways and I can assume she hit the shower since she was covered in mud, that’s what I did.
Now I’m outside cleaning fish so we can fry them for dinner. I have a beer to my right and Jack to my left. I’m not sure which I’ll drink first, but I can assure you they will both go down soon.
I hear the door slam and look to see her sitting on the back deck. Her hair is wet and she doesn’t have any makeup on. She’s perfect even like this.
I grab the Jack and throw it back. I need a friend here. Jack never lets me down. She sees me and starts to walk my way, so I go back to filleting this fish.
“What are you doing?”
“Can I watch?”
“Sure.” She watches as I finish this one and pull the next one out to start on.
“I told you. Don’t be sorry around me.”
“But I am sorry.”
“What are you sorry for?” She moves into my view and leans up against the outside wall of the cabin.
“I’m sorry for losing it with you over and over. You don’t deserve that.” She pauses while I slice the skin off the fish. “I’m sorry we didn’t have more time before we found out about Luke being your friend. And I’m sorry that I have feelings for you that I can’t act on. I shouldn’t have feelings. I just met you.”
“That’s the thing about feelings. You don’t get to decide when you have them and when you don’t. That’s why your heart still hurts. I know you’re caught up in a mess, but I mean what I say. Don’t be sorry around me. I know what I’m getting into. I love spending time with you and I most likely will until you decide to go move.”
“Why couldn’t I have met you years ago?”
“Maybe you weren’t ready for me then.” She pushes off the wall and starts to walk away.
“You’re probably right.” I know I wasn’t ready for her. Hell, am I even ready for her now? It doesn’t matter. She’s going to leave. It’s just a matter of time before she does.
I finish cleaning the fish and spray everything down. Now I need another damn shower, but a thorough hand wash will have to do the trick. Walking into the kitchen, I hear her closing cabinet after cabinet.
“What are you looking for?”
“A bowl for this salad.” She sounds frustrated.
“Bottom cabinet to the right of the fridge.” I watch her as she bends to get the one in the very back. Fuck my life. She just does it for me. Like no other girl I’ve ever seen and it’s fucking frustrating that there are these complications making everything difficult and stressful. She’s full of life, when she actually allows herself to live it.
It’s as if the moment she thinks about her past, she freezes and stops any happiness from flowing through her body.
“Thanks. What else do you need me to do?” She pulls her hair into a messy bun and I lose my train of thought.
“Nothing. Just make the salad and I’ll handle the fish.” She already has all of the vegetables on the cutting board ready to chop and we move easily around each other in the kitchen.
“What do you think about going to Rosie’s tonight for Karaoke? That’s something I’ve never done and it might be fun to try it.”
“Sounds like fun.” I like that she’s not wanting to just sit around this cabin and fester in sadness. I already know this night will get awkward again. That’s what happens when two people have an itch that they haven’t been able to scratch.