Who Moved My Blackberry? (5 page)

• 1) Carrying out the challenges and assignments that my coach sets for me—without delay.
  

• 2) Choosing to adopt a more enthusiastic, optimistic perception on my life from this moment onwards.
  

• 3) Spending a minimum of 35 minutes a day in silent contemplation of the day's goals and learnings.
  

Signed

Pandora Barry            Martin Lukes

From:
Pandora@CoachworX!

To:
Martin Lukes

Welcome to month two of the CoachworX! Executive Bronze Program.

Last month you thought long and hard about where you are now. And that's not a bad place, is it Martin? This month we are going to dig a little deeper. We are going to find out about your values and your essential DNA. Let's start with an exercise! I want you to imagine that you are a number, a building and an animal. Which animal, building and number would you be? Don't think too long about this, Martin. I want to know what first comes into your head.

Strive and thrive!

Pandora

From:
Martin Lukes

To:
Pandora@CoachworX!

Fascinating questions, Pandora. I will answer as soon as I get a window.

I'm actually feeling a bit rough this morning—had a couple of drinks last night as today is my first day on the wagon.

Did I tell you I always go on the wagon in February? It's an interesting fact to flag up about myself—as it speaks volumes both for my self-control, and for my desire to stand out from the crowd. I know a lot of people do it in January, but I believe that if you can find your own niche in life, you get noticed. February is also the shortest month!!

22.5 percent better than my very bestest

Martin

From:
Martin Lukes

To:
Sylvia Woods

Hi—I see Cindy has left all her clobber outside my office. Call building services and tell them to remove it. I'll keep the sofas, but tell them to take away that awful picture of the eagle with DARE TO SOAR written underneath.

Also see if you can get the partition wall of my office shifted out to include some of Cindy's old area. Also, when you've got a mo I'd like a double espresso, a bacon sandwich and some Alka Seltzer.

Martin

PS You don't know anything about modern buildings do you?

PPS. Assume I don't need to remind you that even though you've given in your notice, you are expected to deliver 120 percent effort until the very end!!

From:
Barry Malone

To:
All Staff

Howdy!

Today is the happiest day of my life—with the exception of that sunny day 31 years ago when I made love for the first time. This morning we committed our company to a migration path that will sustain and renew us going forward. I feel proud and humble to announce this historic, momentous change in our corporate mark from A&B to a-b glöbâl.

If we all strive together, this company will peak perform—permanently.

I love you all

Barry

From:
Martin Lukes

To:
Graham Wallace

Hi Graham—Terrifying to think of the first shag of BM's life … rather more information than one strictly needs.

Feeling a bit rough this am—went for a few jars last night to escape Jens' women's reading group. When I got home they were all going on about this book written by a 15 year old autistic boy about a dog at night—or something. Whatever turns you on … I'm reading something brilliant at the moment, How We Won the Ryder Cup—The Caddies' Stories. Have u read it?

M

PS No can do drink tonight. Am on the wagon for the month of Feb.

From:
Martin Lukes

To:
Sylvia Woods

Sylvia—thanks for the tip, though when I googled Mease van de Rower just now, I couldn't find any matches. He's obviously too modern by half—can you think of any other architects?

Martin

From:
Martin Lukes

To:
Jenny Lukes

Darling—Sorry about last night. Got the feeling that you and your girlfriends didn't appreciate my comments re autism …

I know you're hard up against it today, but could you help me with something? I'm trying to dig down to the bottom of my essence, and I wondered if you can think of any leading edge modern buildings that remind you of yours truly?

Love you

M

From:
Martin Lukes

To:
Jenny Lukes

It's an exercise of Pandora's. Actually quite interesting … It's a long time since I've had to think on such a philosophical level re myself, and I'm struggling a bit.

I've got a lot on today—having to sort out a new personal assistant, and being nagged by Rog for new metrics for this year's operating plan. See you late tonight.

Love Mx

PS It's Sylvia's last day tomorrow. I haven't got time to get anything. Would be eternally grateful if you could find a minute to sort some flowers or something?

From:
Martin Lukes

To:
Faith Preston

Hi Faith

Attached is the revised text for the ad for my new PA. I've made some changes and taken out “sense of humor required” as that sounds as if working for myself might be frustrating! Can you get it into crème de la crème section of The Times soonest?

PA to DYNAMIC LEADER Culturally diverse! Ever-changing and Evolving DNA! Ours is a fast-moving innovative culture. Can you keep up with us? In this high-profile Personal Assistant position you will provide a range of support and administrative functions to a dynamic leader on the board of a-b glöbâl (UK). Do you have phenomenal interpersonal, communication and appointment book management skillsets? A can-do headset? Unrivaled problem-solving skills? £££ Highly competitive + perks!! YOUTHFUL ENERGY A MUST!!

From:
Martin Lukes

To:
Faith Preston

Faith—What do you mean, it's illegal to say youthful?? All I am saying is that I have very high levels of energy. And anyone who is going to be working for me must be able to take the pace.

Best, Martin

From:
Martin Lukes

To:
JakeLukes@MillgateSchool

Hi Jake—No, you can't go to Amsterdam with Tarquin at half term. You are meant to be studying. Remember?

If you want to make yourself useful—you could answer a question. Can you think of an animal that reminds you of yours truly?

Love Dad

From:
Martin Lukes

To:
Pandora@CoachworX!

Hi Pandora

Here you go—the answers to your questions. Sorry it took a while—I'm someone who likes to get things right first time!

1. If I was a number, I would definitely be the number one. Partly because that is the only position I'm comfortable with, but also because the number is straight and upright and has a kind of understated simplicity.
   

2. re buildings—I've being thinking outside the square on this and can see some interesting parallels between myself and the more innovative modern structures. My first thought was the World Trade Center's twin towers. Although they were very tall (which I'm not!!) and there were two of them, and, obviously, they were blown up by Osama Bin Laden (which I haven't been—as yet!!) there are some revealing areas of overlap. They were very competitive. They wanted to be the tallest in the world. They wanted to be noticed and stand out from the crowd. Again, there was this understated simplicity about them, that is very much my style too.
   

   But after some research I found a building that captures my essence exactly. It is Farnsworth House, built by one of my favorite architects, Mies Van der Rohe. At the time it was controversial, and was way ahead of the curve. It wasn't frightened to offend. Simple yet revolutionary. It's also stood the test of time, and is still as relevant as when it was built!
   

3. As for animals—I've been doing some 360 degree brainstorming on this. My son Jake suggested some parasite that gets into your bowel, and makes you flatulent!!! Jake's got a great sense of humor—a brilliant mind, he just has issues with harnessing his natural talent to his schoolwork!
   

   Seriously, though, if I was an animal I'd be a sheepdog. They are intelligent and are catalytic, they are natural leaders and they know how to drive a team to achieve peak performance.
   

Hope that helps

22.5 percent better than my very bestest

Martin

From:
Keith Buxton

To:
All Staff

Hallo everyone

Many of you will have seen hostile articles in the media over the weekend, accusing us of having squandered $38m of shareholders' money and wasting valuable senior management time on our new corporate name, a-b glöbâl. As you know, this is far from the truth—the global figure on our rebranding bill is coming in south of $20m and the management time expended on the project has enabled us to think deeply and strategically about the nature of the business we are in.

The key learning we should take out from this is to examine the interface between us and the press. Until now most of our PR has been handled out of Atlanta. I believe we must now strengthen our capability in London.

Bestest, Keith

From:
Martin Lukes

To:
Jenny Lukes

Sorry, darling—now isn't the best time to discuss this. I'm totally snowed under on something mission critical.

But basically—yes—I do think you should tell pr palace to stuff their stupid job. You're never going to be able to work with Rowena as a boss. She's got issues with you because you are smarter than her—and a lot sexier. There's no problem moneywise if you do decide to quit—we could save on the cleaner and the au pair?

Love, M xxx

From:
Martin Lukes

To:
Jenny Lukes

No, of course I don't have an issue with you as a career woman. I'm just saying that if you are not comfortable with where you are—change it! As Pandora would say, the only person who can re-dream your life is you! Anyway, let's discuss later.

M xx

From:
Pandora@CoachworX!

To:
Martin Lukes

Hi Martin

How are you? The last exercise you did for me obviously got your creative juices flowing! Now I'd like you to try something a bit harder. I want you to tell me about the four brilliant characteristics that you think define yourself—and the four brilliant characteristics others would say defined you.

Strive and thrive!

Pandora

From:
Martin Lukes

To:
Pandora@CoachworX!

Hi Pandora

Interestingly, I don't think there's a gap between others' perception of myself and my own perception. I've always been realistic about myself—maybe it's in my DNA, or maybe it's because my family keep me down to earth!

1. The most noticeable thing about yours truly is creativity. This is a very important part of myself, and has driven my success in the marketing space.
   

2. Communication skills. My style is very easy, very natural, very empowering.
   

3. I see myself as a hub. I am a born networker, and like nothing more than getting people together.
   

4. Emotional intelligence. As I said earlier, I've got a very high EQ—self-knowledge and empathy are both big things for me.
   

22.5 percent better than my bestest

Martin

From:
Pandora@CoachworX!

To:
Martin Lukes

That's great Martin! Well done! Now what I want you to do is to Live your DNA! Each time you have had a major win using your key skills, send me an e-mail, telling me which skill you are using and rank it with 1 to 4 stars. That way we can monitor your progress!

Strive and thrive!

Pandora

From:
Martin Lukes

To:
Keith Buxton

Hi Keith

I've been doing a little blue sky thinking, and have come up with a phenomenal idea about how we can win back hearts and minds, and prove that we care about the communities we serve. We have a supply of sweatshirts, boxer shorts etc with the old A&B logo, which I suggest we give away to charity. If the public can see us handing out goods free to the homeless it could go a long way to reversing the brand damage suffered by the name change.

All my very bestest

Martin

From:
Martin Lukes

To:
Sylvia Woods

Hi Sylvia—One last task! Can you go through Yellow Pages and find a list of all the homeless charities in London.

Really sorry we're not going to have time for a drink before you depart for pastures new. But I wish you all the best of British. We'll all miss you here, and hope things really work out well for you at Beyond the Box. You and I have been an unbeatable team, and I want to thank you for your unstinting passion and contribution. Keep in touch and all the best.

Cheers, Martin

PS Can you leave details for your unlucky successor sharing your ancient wisdom on how to get along with yours truly?