Wicked Love (Wicked White Series Book 3) (14 page)

AVERY

T
he night turns to day as the sun pops up over the trees, shedding light on the rubble of what was recently my new home. I haven’t slept a wink because they haven’t been able to locate my dad. I’m exhausted, both mentally and physically, but I will press on until Dad has been found. All night I’ve run the worst scenarios possible through my head, and I pray to God that none of them are correct.

I spent the night at Granny’s bedside. Early this morning she regained consciousness and the doctors say that all signs point to her being able to make a complete recovery from this, which is a relief to know. I pressed her as gently as I could once she woke up about what happened and where she thought Dad could be, but Granny can’t remember last night. She doesn’t recall the fire. The last thing she remembers is going to bed, and then waking up here in the hospital.

I stare at Granny, who has fallen back asleep, and my thoughts drift to Dad. The need to find him is overwhelming and I can no longer sit here and idly wait for news. I need to go back home and see what’s going on.

I nudge Tyler, who is asleep in the chair next to me. He hasn’t left my side all night and I’m glad for that. I don’t know what I would’ve done last night without him to hold me up while I fell to pieces.

Tyler’s eyes snap open and then they focus on me. “You okay? Need anything?”

I lick my dry lips. “I want to go back to the house.”

“Avery, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“I have to be there, Tyler. I have to know one way or the other what’s happened to my dad.”

He frowns, and pauses for a long moment, before he gives me a subtle nod. “I understand. I’ll take you back over there if you are sure you want to go.”

“I need to be there, Tyler. He’s my dad—the only one I have.”

Tyler pushes himself up out of the stiff chair and holds his hand out to me. “Then let’s go.”

It takes about fifteen minutes to make it to the house. Fire trucks and police cars pepper the road and the driveway leading up to Granny’s house. The same cop that asked me to leave last night is still on the scene. When he sees me approach, he immediately frowns and then comes to explain this situation.

The barn fire was finally put out just before dawn and the fire fighters began sifting through the rubble. The fire that started in the barn jumped over to the roof of the house because of the barn’s close proximity. They were able to save the first floor of the house, so not all the contents inside were a total loss, but there is significant damage to the house and it’s uninhabitable. It’s likely everything will need to be demolished and rebuilt because the structural integrity of the building has been compromised.

The worry of not knowing where my father is keeps me glued here.

My hope is that somewhere in the confusion of the ambulance carting Granny away, Dad jumped in there with her and is waiting at the hospital for me. I don’t want to allow any other possibility to enter my mind. There’s no way that he’s . . .

My mind trails off. I can’t finish the thought. I refuse to even entertain the idea that anything bad has happened to him.

As hard as I try, a million things still rush through my mind, but the one constant question remains at the forefront of my thoughts: Why did this happen?

When I try to get Tyler to talk about what he thinks happened, he clams up and just shrugs, reminding me that the police and the fire department will figure things out. I think he’s so closed off because he’s worried too, but I give him credit. He’s stuck here by me all night, holding me and allowing me to cry on his shoulder.

“Miss?” The cop tries to pull me out of the daze I’m in while thinking about all the things that could’ve happened to Dad. I focus my gaze on him, so he knows he has my complete attention. “The inspectors have recovered a body in the barn along with several animal remains.”

The words slam into me like a ton of bricks and my knees buckle. My vision shifts and all of a sudden the world looks farther and farther away until everything goes black.

The black coffin is lowered into the ground and it’s hard for my brain to wrap around the fact that my father is lying inside that box. Never again will I hear his voice or see his face, and when those facts cross through my mind I simply lose it all over again. I’m nowhere near ready to let him go.

I would do anything to bring him back—to hear his voice—and tell him how much I love him and make sure he knows how much he means to me.

I’m not ready to face this world without the man who has been a constant in my life.

There wasn’t a big crowd for the funeral—mainly just people he knew locally. I didn’t call anyone we knew from back home, except for Stacy, because most of them turned their backs on Dad when he needed them the most, so why would they be there for him now to pay last respects? I didn’t even call my own mother. That may sound cruel of me, but I figured if she hadn’t bothered to call and see if we were all right when we had to move out of our house, then she wouldn’t care enough to find out about Dad . . .

I sigh deeply. It’s hard for me to even admit in my head that he’s gone.

Granny sits in the chair next to me, gripping my hand tight while her other hand holds a bunch of tissues. She doesn’t say a word—she doesn’t have to—but I know she’s hurting too. Dad was her only child and she doesn’t have any other family, so I’m all that she has left. All we have now is each other.

Tyler places his hand on my shoulder and gives it a comforting squeeze. He hasn’t pushed me to rush out of the cemetery, but I can tell being here makes him uncomfortable. Now my father and his share the same cemetery as their final resting places.

I sniff and then blot both of my eyes dry with a tissue. I could sit here all day and stare at this hole in the earth, wishing hard that this was all a nightmare, but I know doing that won’t change anything.

As much as it pains me to leave Dad here, I know I have to. All of the people who attended the funeral have long since gone, and the guys who fill the holes in have been standing outside the tent, waiting for us to clear out so they can finish burying my father.

I let out a shaky breath. “Are you ready, Granny?”

She sighs and then nods. “We should probably let them finish up here. Don’t want to stick around and watch them cover him up.”

I shudder at the thought, not wanting to see that either. I hold my hand out to her and say, “Do you need me to help you up?”

She clenches my hand and slowly rises up out of the metal chair, taking her time as her lungs are still mending and she’s working on gaining her strength back. Tyler and I stand on either side of her, helping her to the car. When we get to the Mercedes, Tyler opens the passenger door and helps my grandma inside the car.

She pats his cheek. “Such a sweet boy.”

Tyler gives her a sad smile but doesn’t respond with words. Once she’s situated inside, he closes the door and then turns to me. “Are you hungry or anything? I could take you to get something to eat if you’d like.”

I shake my head. “I really just want to go ho—” I cut myself off, realizing my mistake. Granny and I don’t have a home right now. The local motel is the closest thing we’ve got. “I’d rather just go back to the room.”

He stares into my eyes for a long moment, and at first I think he’s going to tell me something important, judging by the expression on his face, but he simply nods. “Then that’s where I’ll take you.”

I let out a long sigh as he opens the back door for me, closes me inside, and then makes his way to the driver’s seat.

None of us say anything on the way to the motel. All of us are lost in thought. My life has changed so much in the last couple of months but Dad was always my constant—the one thing in my life I knew would always be there. It’s difficult to know that he’s gone. I don’t think I’ve even fully processed the finality of it all because I keep imagining that Dad’s just simply gone on a business trip and that any minute he’s going to show up and it’ll be like nothing has happened. That this is all some wicked dream.

I look forward and I notice Tyler watching me in the rearview mirror. It’s almost as if he’s studying me for some reason and I can’t figure out why. He’s been different with me since the night of the fire. It may be because he’s giving me space to process everything, but it feels like it’s more than that.

We pull into the motel parking lot and park directly in front of our rooms. Tyler helps Granny out of the car and to her room. Once she’s shut the door, he turns back toward me.

Tyler shoves his hands deep into his front pockets and steps up in front of me. “Are you sure there’s nothing I can do for you before I go?”

“Go?” This catches me off guard because I fully expected him to come in and stay with me for a while—if not for the whole night. I need him to be here with me. I don’t want to be alone.

He sighs. “Yeah. I thought it was best to give you some space.”

“Tyler, I don’t need space from you,” I tell him like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

His lips twist and for some reason it appears that he doesn’t like that answer. “All the same I feel like I should go.”

I furrow my brow. “But I don’t want you to.”

He pinches the bridge of his nose. “Please, Avery, don’t make this any harder on me than it has to be.”

I flinch at that response. “Harder on
you
? If you haven’t noticed, we just buried
my
father. How in the hell is this hard on you?”

“I know . . . shit, this is so hard.” He shuts his blue eyes briefly and then opens them to refocus on me. “I’m leaving, Avery.”

“Leaving? Are you fucking serious? How can you just leave me here when I asked you to stay? I need you.”

He shakes his head. “I’m the last thing you need.”

What he’s saying . . . it makes no sense. “Tyler . . .”

“I can’t stay. I can’t ever stay with you again. Don’t you see? All this—the fire—it’s a sign—a sign that I’m not supposed to be with you. I was careless. I’ve hurt people. Your sadness is all my fault, and I swear I won’t ever hurt you again.”

“Tyler, stop.” Tears stream down my face. “Don’t do this. Don’t put the blame for what happened on your shoulders. We both were in that barn. We both left the lantern—”

“No, Avery. It was my fault. I was losing focus on what I needed to do with my life, and bad shit happened because of it. It’s another sign.”

My mind jerks to the thought of Tyler’s father and the promise he made to his dad. “You can’t honestly believe all this happened because we slept together? Do you realize how insane that sounds, Tyler?”

Tears well up in his eyes. “Being together did cause this, Avery. Don’t you see?”

I fold my arms across my chest. “I can’t believe it. You’re just like every other asshole who gets what they want from a girl and then ditches her.” He tries to interrupt me, but I just keep going, raising my voice to the point where I’m practically screaming at him. “I thought you were better than that, Tyler! I thought you were a sincere guy. I can’t believe that you’re using my father’s death to break up with me!”

“I’m not making this shit up, Avery! God, do you think I really want to leave you? That I never cared? Well, you’re fucking wrong. I’m trying to do the right fucking thing here. I’m trying to do what’s best for you. I can’t stand the thought of you hating me, so I have to leave.”

“I could never hate you,” I tell him.

“You say that now, but once you’ve had time to see things clearly, you’ll know this fire was all my fault.” His lips pull into a thin line as a single tear drips down his cheek. “And you’ll despise me as much as I despise myself. I have to do this, Avery. Being with you—it was a mistake.”

My breath catches. “A mistake?”

He closes his eyes and when he reopens them, there’s a hardness in them, like he’s trying to cut off all his emotions.

“I have to refocus on my music, and there’s no room in my life for you.”

“No,” I whisper. “You don’t mean that.”

“I do mean it. You were nothing but a distraction, Avery.”

I clutch my chest, attempting to hold together pieces of my shattering heart. He’s leaving me
now
?