William Shakespeare: The Complete Works 2nd Edition (145 page)
Read William Shakespeare: The Complete Works 2nd Edition Online
Authors: William Shakespeare
Tags: #Drama, #Literary Criticism, #Shakespeare
BOOK: William Shakespeare: The Complete Works 2nd Edition
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ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
You have prevailed. I will depart in quiet,
And in despite of mirth mean to be merry.
I know a wench of excellent discourse,
Pretty and witty; wild, and yet, too, gentle.
There will we dine. This woman that I mean,
My wife—but, I protest, without desert—
Hath oftentimes upbraided me withal.
To her will we to dinner. (
To Angelo)
Get you home
And fetch the chain. By this, I know, ’tis made.
Bring it, I pray you, to the Porcupine,
For there’s the house. That chain will I bestow—
Be it for nothing but to spite my wife—
Upon mine hostess there. Good sir, make haste:
Since mine own doors refuse to entertain me,
I’ll knock elsewhere, to see if they’ll disdain me.
And in despite of mirth mean to be merry.
I know a wench of excellent discourse,
Pretty and witty; wild, and yet, too, gentle.
There will we dine. This woman that I mean,
My wife—but, I protest, without desert—
Hath oftentimes upbraided me withal.
To her will we to dinner. (
To Angelo)
Get you home
And fetch the chain. By this, I know, ’tis made.
Bring it, I pray you, to the Porcupine,
For there’s the house. That chain will I bestow—
Be it for nothing but to spite my wife—
Upon mine hostess there. Good sir, make haste:
Since mine own doors refuse to entertain me,
I’ll knock elsewhere, to see if they’ll disdain me.
ANGELO
I’ll meet you at that place some hour hence.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
Do so.
⌈Exit Angelo⌉
This jest shall cost me some expense.
Exeunt ⌈Dromio of Syracuse within the
Phoenix, and the others into the Porcupine⌉
3.2Phoenix, and the others into the Porcupine⌉
Enter ⌈from the Phoenix⌉ Luciana with Antipholus of Syracuse
LUCIANA
And may it be that you have quite forgot
A husband’s office? Shall, Antipholus,
Even in the spring of love thy love-springs rot?
Shall love, in building, grow so ruinous?
If you did wed my sister for her wealth,
Then for her wealth’s sake use her with more
kindness;
Or if you like elsewhere, do it by stealth:
Muffle your false love with some show of blindness.
Let not my sister read it in your eye.
Be not thy tongue thy own shame’s orator.
Look sweet, speak fair, become disloyalty;
Apparel vice like virtue’s harbinger.
Bear a fair presence, though your heart be tainted:
Teach sin the carriage of a holy saint.
Be secret-false. What need she be acquainted?
What simple thief brags of his own attaint?
‘Tis double wrong to truant with your bed,
And let her read it in thy looks at board.
Shame hath a bastard fame, well managed;
III deeds is doubled with an evil word.
Alas, poor women, make us but believe—
Being compact of credit—that you love us.
Though others have the arm, show us the sleeve.
We in your motion turn, and you may move us.
Then, gentle brother, get you in again.
Comfort my sister, cheer her, call her wife:
’Tis holy sport to be a little vain
When the sweet breath of flattery conquers strife.
A husband’s office? Shall, Antipholus,
Even in the spring of love thy love-springs rot?
Shall love, in building, grow so ruinous?
If you did wed my sister for her wealth,
Then for her wealth’s sake use her with more
kindness;
Or if you like elsewhere, do it by stealth:
Muffle your false love with some show of blindness.
Let not my sister read it in your eye.
Be not thy tongue thy own shame’s orator.
Look sweet, speak fair, become disloyalty;
Apparel vice like virtue’s harbinger.
Bear a fair presence, though your heart be tainted:
Teach sin the carriage of a holy saint.
Be secret-false. What need she be acquainted?
What simple thief brags of his own attaint?
‘Tis double wrong to truant with your bed,
And let her read it in thy looks at board.
Shame hath a bastard fame, well managed;
III deeds is doubled with an evil word.
Alas, poor women, make us but believe—
Being compact of credit—that you love us.
Though others have the arm, show us the sleeve.
We in your motion turn, and you may move us.
Then, gentle brother, get you in again.
Comfort my sister, cheer her, call her wife:
’Tis holy sport to be a little vain
When the sweet breath of flattery conquers strife.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
Sweet mistress—what your name is else I know not,
Nor by what wonder you do hit of mine.
Less in your knowledge and your grace you show not
Than our earth’s wonder, more than earth divine.
Teach me, dear creature, how to think and speak.
Lay open to my earthy gross conceit,
Smothered in errors, feeble, shallow, weak,
The folded meaning of your words’ deceit.
Against my soul’s pure truth why labour you
To make it wander in an unknown field?
Are you a god? Would you create me new?
Transform me, then, and to your power I’ll yield.
But if that I am I, then well I know
Your weeping sister is no wife of mine,
Nor to her bed no homage do I owe.
Far more, far more, to you do I decline.
O, train me not, sweet mermaid, with thy note
To drown me in thy sister’s flood of tears.
Sing, siren, for thyself, and I will dote.
Spread o’er the silver waves thy golden hairs,
And as a bed I’ll take them, and there lie,
And in that glorious supposition think
He gains by death that hath such means to die.
Let love, being light, be drowned if she sink.
Nor by what wonder you do hit of mine.
Less in your knowledge and your grace you show not
Than our earth’s wonder, more than earth divine.
Teach me, dear creature, how to think and speak.
Lay open to my earthy gross conceit,
Smothered in errors, feeble, shallow, weak,
The folded meaning of your words’ deceit.
Against my soul’s pure truth why labour you
To make it wander in an unknown field?
Are you a god? Would you create me new?
Transform me, then, and to your power I’ll yield.
But if that I am I, then well I know
Your weeping sister is no wife of mine,
Nor to her bed no homage do I owe.
Far more, far more, to you do I decline.
O, train me not, sweet mermaid, with thy note
To drown me in thy sister’s flood of tears.
Sing, siren, for thyself, and I will dote.
Spread o’er the silver waves thy golden hairs,
And as a bed I’ll take them, and there lie,
And in that glorious supposition think
He gains by death that hath such means to die.
Let love, being light, be drowned if she sink.
LUCIANA
What, are you mad, that you do reason so?
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
Not mad, but mated—how, I do not know.
LUCIANA
It is a fault that springeth from your eye.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
For gazing on your beams, fair sun, being by.
LUCIANA
Gaze where you should, and that will clear your sight.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
As good to wink, sweet love, as look on night.
LUCIANA
Why call you me ‘love’ ? Call my sister so.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
Thy sister’s sister.
LUCIANA That’s my sister.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
No,
It is thyself, mine own self’s better part,
Mine eye’s clear eye, my dear heart’s dearer heart,
My food, my fortune, and my sweet hope’s aim,
My sole earth’s heaven, and my heaven’s claim.
Mine eye’s clear eye, my dear heart’s dearer heart,
My food, my fortune, and my sweet hope’s aim,
My sole earth’s heaven, and my heaven’s claim.
LUCIANA
All this my sister is, or else should be.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
Call thyself sister, sweet, for I am thee.
Thee will I love, and with thee lead my life.
Thou hast no husband yet, nor I no wife.
Give me thy hand.
Thee will I love, and with thee lead my life.
Thou hast no husband yet, nor I no wife.
Give me thy hand.
LUCIANA
O soft, sir, hold you still;
I’ll fetch my sister to get her good will.
Exit
⌈into
the
Phoenix⌉
⌈into
the
Phoenix⌉
Enter ⌈from the Phoenix⌉ Dromio of Syracuse
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Why, how now, Dromiol Where runn’st thou so fast?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Do you know me, sir? Am I Dromio? Am I your man? Am I myself?
ANTIPHOLUS or SYRACUSE Thou art Dromio, thou art my man, thou art thyself.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE I am an ass, I am a woman’s man, and besides myself.
ANTIPHOLUS or SYRACUSE What woman’s man? And how besides thyself?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Marry, sir, besides myself I am due to a woman: one that claims me, one that haunts me, one that will have me.
ANTIPHOLUS or SYRACUSE What claim lays she to thee?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Marry, sir, such claim as you would lay to your horse; and she would have me as a beast—not that, I being a beast, she would have me, but that she, being a very beastly creature, lays claim to me.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE What is she?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE A very reverend body; ay, such a one as a man may not speak of without he say ‘sir-reverence’. I have but lean luck in the match, and yet is she a wondrous fat marriage.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE How dost thou mean, a fat marriage? 95 5
DROMIO or SYRACUSE Marry, sir, she’s the kitchen wench, and all grease; and I know not what use to put her to but to make a lamp of her, and run from her by her own light. I warrant her rags and the tallow in them will burn a Poland winter. If she lives till doomsday, she’ll burn a week longer than the whole world.
ANTIPHOLUS or SYRACUSE What complexion is she of?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Swart like my shoe, but her face nothing like so clean kept. For why?—She sweats a man may go overshoes in the grime of it.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE That’s a fault that water will mend.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE No, sir, ’tis in grain. Noah’s flood could not do it.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE What’s her name?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Nell, sir. But her name and three-quarters—that’s an ell and three-quarters—will not measure her from hip to hip.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Then she bears some breadth?
DROMIO or SYRACUSE No longer from head to foot than from hip to hip. She is spherical, like a globe. I could find out countries in her.
ANTIPHOLUS or SYRACUSE In what part of her body stands Ireland?
DROMIO or SYRACUSE Marry, sir, in her buttocks. I found it out by the bogs.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Where Scotland?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE I found it by the barrenness, hard in the palm of her hand.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Where France?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE In her forehead, armed and reverted, making war against her heir.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Where England?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE I looked for the chalky cliffs, but I could find no whiteness in them. But I guess it stood in her chin, by the salt rheum that ran between France and it.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Where Spain?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Faith, I saw it not, but I felt it hot in her breath.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Where America, the Indies?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE O, sir, upon her nose, all o’er embellished with rubies, carbuncles, sapphires, declining their rich aspect to the hot breath of Spain, who sent whole armadas of carracks to be ballast at her nose.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Where stood Belgia, the Netherlands?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE O, sir, I did not look so low. To conclude, this drudge or diviner laid claim to me, called me Dromio, swore I was assured to her, told me what privy marks I had about me—as the mark of my shoulder, the mole in my neck, the great wart on my left arm—that I, amazed, ran from her as a witch. And I think if my breast had not been made of faith, and my heart of steel, she had transformed me to a curtal dog, and made me turn i’th’ wheel.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
Go, hie thee presently. Post to the road.
An if the wind blow any way from shore,
I will not harbour in this town tonight.
If any barque put forth, come to the mart,
Where I will walk till thou return to me.
If everyone knows us, and we know none,
’Tis time, I think, to trudge, pack, and be gone.
An if the wind blow any way from shore,
I will not harbour in this town tonight.
If any barque put forth, come to the mart,
Where I will walk till thou return to me.
If everyone knows us, and we know none,
’Tis time, I think, to trudge, pack, and be gone.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
As from a bear a man would run for life,
So fly I from her that would be my wife.
So fly I from her that would be my wife.
Exit ⌈to the bay⌉
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
There’s none but witches do inhabit here,
And therefore ’tis high time that I were hence.
She that doth call me husband, even my soul
Doth for a wife abhor. But her fair sister,
Possessed with such a gentle sovereign grace,
Of such enchanting presence and discourse,
Hath almost made me traitor to myself.
But lest myself be guilty to self-wrong,
I’ll stop mine ears against the mermaid’s song.
And therefore ’tis high time that I were hence.
She that doth call me husband, even my soul
Doth for a wife abhor. But her fair sister,
Possessed with such a gentle sovereign grace,
Of such enchanting presence and discourse,
Hath almost made me traitor to myself.
But lest myself be guilty to self-wrong,
I’ll stop mine ears against the mermaid’s song.
Enter Angelo with the chain
ANGELO
Master Antipholus.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Ay, that’s my name.
ANGELO
I know it well, sir. Lo, here’s the chain.
I thought to have ta’en you at the Porcupine.
The chain unfinished made me stay thus long.
I thought to have ta’en you at the Porcupine.
The chain unfinished made me stay thus long.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE (
taking the chain
)
taking the chain
)
What is your will that I shall do with this?
ANGELO
What please yourself, sir. I have made it for you.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
Made it for me, sir? I bespoke it not.
ANGELO
Not once, nor twice, but twenty times you have.
Go home with it, and please your wife withal,
And soon at supper-time I’ll visit you,
And then receive my money for the chain.
Go home with it, and please your wife withal,
And soon at supper-time I’ll visit you,
And then receive my money for the chain.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
I pray you, sir, receive the money now,
For fear you ne’er see chain nor money more.
For fear you ne’er see chain nor money more.
ANGELO
You are a merry man, sir. Fare you well. Exit
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
What I should think of this I cannot tell.
But this I think: there’s no man is so vain
That would refuse so fair an offered chain.
I see a man here needs not live by shifts,
When in the streets he meets such golden gifts.
I’ll to the mart, and there for Dromio stay.
If any ship put out, then straight away!
Exit
But this I think: there’s no man is so vain
That would refuse so fair an offered chain.
I see a man here needs not live by shifts,
When in the streets he meets such golden gifts.
I’ll to the mart, and there for Dromio stay.
If any ship put out, then straight away!
Exit
Enter Second Merchant, Angelo the goldsmith, and an Officer
SECOND MERCHANT (
to Angelo)
to Angelo)
You know since Pentecost the sum is due,
And since I have not much importuned you;
Nor now I had not, but that I am bound
To Persia, and want guilders for my voyage.
Therefore make present satisfaction,
Or I’ll attach you by this officer.
And since I have not much importuned you;
Nor now I had not, but that I am bound
To Persia, and want guilders for my voyage.
Therefore make present satisfaction,
Or I’ll attach you by this officer.
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