LINCOLN Not so, not so, my good friends. I, though a mean man, a broker by profession, and named John Lincoln, have long time winked at these vile enormities with mighty impatience, and, as these two brethren here, Bettses by name, can witness, with loss of mine own life would gladly remedy them.
GEORGE BETTS And he is in a good forwardness, I tell ye, if all hit right.
DOLL As how, I prithee? Tell it to Doll Williamson.
LINCOLN You know the Spital sermons begin the next week. I have drawn a bill of our wrongs, and the strangers’ insolencies.
GEORGE BETTS Which he means the preachers shall there openly publish in the pulpit.
WILLIAMSON O, but that they would! I’faith, it would tickle our strangers thoroughly.
DOLL Ay, and if you men durst not undertake it, before God, we women will. Take an honest woman from her husband? Why, it is intolerable.
SHERWIN ⌈
to Lincoln
⌉ But how find ye the preachers affected to our proceeding?
LINCOLN Master Doctor Standish means not to meddle with any such matter in his sermon, but Doctor Beal will do in this matter as much as a priest may do to reform it, and doubts not but happy success will ensue upon our wrongs. You shall perceive there’s no hurt in the bill. Here’s a copy of it. I pray ye, hear it.
ALL THE REST With all our hearts. For God’s sake, read it.
LINCOLN (reads) ‘To you all the worshipful lords and masters of this city, that will take compassion over the poor people your neighbours, and also of the great importable hurts, losses, and hindrances whereof proceedeth extreme poverty to all the King’s subjects that inhabit within this city and suburbs of the same. For so it is that aliens and strangers eat the bread from the fatherless children, and take the living from all the artificers, and the intercourse from all merchants, whereby poverty is so much increased that every man bewaileth the misery of other; for craftsmen be brought to beggary, and merchants to neediness. Wherefore, the premises considered, the redress must be of the commons, knit and united to one part. And as the hurt and damage grieveth all men, so must all men set to their willing power for remedy, and not suffer the said aliens in their wealth, and the natural-born men of this region to come to confusion.’
DOLL Before God, ’tis excellent, and I’ll maintain the suit to be honest.
SHERWIN Well, say ’tis read, what is your further meaning in the matter?
GEORGE BETTS What? Marry, list to me. No doubt but this will store us with friends enough, whose names we will closely keep in writing, and on May Day next in the morning we’ll go forth a-Maying, but make it the worst May Day for the strangers that ever they saw. How say ye? Do ye subscribe, or are ye faint-hearted revolters?
DOLL Hold thee, George Betts, there’s my hand and my heart. By the Lord, I’ll make a captain among ye, and do somewhat to be talked of for ever after.
WILLIAMSON My masters, ere we part let’s friendly go and drink together, and swear true secrecy upon our lives.
GEORGE BETS There spake an angel. Come, let us along then.
Exeunt
Sc. 2
An arras is drawn, and behind it, as in sessions, sit the Lord Mayor, Justice Suresby, and other Justices,
⌈
and the Recorder
⌉
, Sheriff More and the other Sheriff sitting by. Smart is the plaintiff, Lifter the prisoner at the bar
LORD MAYOR
Having dispatched our weightier businesses,
We may give ear to petty felonies.
Master Sheriff More, what is this fellow?
MORE
My lord, he stands indicted for a purse.
He hath been tried; the jury is together.
LORD MAYOR
Who sent him in?
SURESBY That did I, my lord.
Had he had right, he had been hanged ere this,
The only captain of the cutpurse crew.
LORD MAYOR What is his name?
SURESBY
As his profession is: Lifter, my lord,
One that can lift a purse right cunningly.
LORD MAYOR
And is that he accuses him?
SURESBY
The same, my lord, whom, by your honour’s leave,
I must say somewhat too, because I find
In some respects he is well worthy blame.
LORD MAYOR
Good Master Justice Suresby, speak your mind.
We are well pleased to give you audience.
SURESBY
Hear me, Smart. Thou art a foolish fellow.
If Lifter be convicted by the law,
As I see not how the jury can acquit him,
I’ll stand to’t thou art guilty of his death.
MORE ⌈
to the Lord Mayor
⌉
My lord, that’s worth the hearing.
LORD MAYOR
Listen then, good Master More.
SURESBY ⌈
to Smart
⌉
I tell thee plain, it is a shame for thee
With such a sum to tempt necessity.
No less than ten pounds, sir, will serve your turn
To carry in your purse about with ye,
To crack and brag in taverns of your money?
I promise ye, a man that goes abroad
With an intent of truth, meeting such a booty,
May be provoked to that he never meant.
What makes so many pilferers and felons
But such fond baits that foolish people lay
To tempt the needy miserable wretch?
Ten pounds odd money, this is a pretty sum
To bear about, which were more safe at home.
Lord Mayor and More whisper
‘Fore God, ’twere well to fine ye as much more,
To the relief of the poor prisoners,
To teach ye be more careful of your own.
( ) rightly served.
( )
MORE
Good my lord, sooth a ( ) for once,
Only to try conclusions in this case.
LORD MAYOR
Content, good Master More. We’ll rise a while,
And till the jury can return their verdict
Walk in the garden. How say ye, justices?
ALL JUSTICES
We like it well, my lord; we’ll follow ye.
Exeunt Lord Mayor and Justices
MORE
Nay, plaintiff, go you too. Exit Smart
And officers,
Stand you aside, and leave the prisoner
To me a while.
Exeunt all but More and Lifter
LIFTER What is your worship’s pleasure?
MORE
Sirrah, you know that you are known to me,
And I have often saved ye from this place
Since first I came in office. Thou seest beside
That Justice Suresby is thy heavy friend,
For all the blame that he pretends to Smart
For tempting thee with such a sum of money.
I tell thee what: devise me but a means
To pick or cut his purse, and on my credit,
And as I am a Christian and a man,
I will procure thy pardon for that jest.
LIFTER
Good Master Sheriff, seek not my overthrow.
You know, sir, I have many heavy friends,
And more indictments like to come upon me.
You are too deep for me to deal withal.
You are known to be one of the wisest men
That is in England. I pray ye, Master Sheriff,
Go not about to undermine my life.
MORE
Lifter, I am true subject to my king.
Thou much mistak’st me, and for thou shalt not think
I mean by this to hurt thy life at all,
I will maintain the act when thou hast done it.
Thou knowest there are such matters in my hands
As, if I pleased to give them to the jury,
I should not need this way to circumvent thee.
All that I aim at is a merry jest.
Perform it, Lifter, and expect my best.
LIFTER
I thank your worship, God preserve your life!
But Master Justice Suresby is gone in.
I know not how to come near where he is.
MORE
Let me alone for that. I’ll be thy setter.
I’ll send him hither to thee presently,
Under the colour of thine own request
Of private matters to acquaint him with.
LIFTER
If ye do, sir, then let me alone.
Forty to one but then his purse is gone.
MORE
Well said; but see that thou diminish not
One penny of the money, but give it me.
It is the cunning act that credits thee.
LIFTER
I will, good Master Sheriff, I assure thee. Exit More
I see the purpose of this gentleman
Is but to check the folly of the Justice
For blaming others in a desperate case,
Wherein himself may fall as soon as any.
To save my life it is a good adventure.
Silence there, hol Now doth the Justice enter.
SURESBY
Now, sirrah, now, what is your will with me?
Wilt thou discharge thy conscience, like an honest
man?
What sayst to me, sirrah? Be brief, be brief.
LIFTER As brief, sir, as I can.
(Aside)
If ye stand fair, I will be brief anon.
SURESBY
Speak out and mumble not. What sayst thou, sirrah?
LIFTER
Sir, I am charged, as God shall be my comfort,
With more than’s true—
SURESBY
Sir, sir, ye are indeed, with more than’s true,
For you are flatly charged with felony.
You’re charged with more than truth, and that is theft:
More than a true man should be charged withal.
Thou art a varlet; that’s no more than true.
Trifle not with me, do not, do not, sirrah.
Confess but what thou knowest; I ask no more.
LIFTER
There be, sir—there be, if’t shall please your worship—
SURESBY
‘There be’, varlet? What be there, tell me what there be?
Come off or on ‘there be’, what be there, knave?
LIFTER
There be, sir, divers very cunning fellows
That while you stand and look them in the face
Will have your purse.
SURESBY
Thou’rt an honest knave.
Tell me, what are they, where they may be caught.
Ay, those are they I look for.
LIFTER
You talk of me, sir—
Alas, I am a puny. There’s one, indeed,
Goes by my name; he puts down all for purses
SURESBY
Be as familiar as thou wilt, my knave.
’Tis this I long to know.
LIFTER
(aside)
And you shall have your longing ere ye go.—
This fellow, sir, perhaps will meet ye thus,
Action
⌈
of greeting him
⌉
Or thus, or thus, and in kind compliment
Pretend acquaintance, somewhat doubtfully,
And these embraces serve.
SURESBY (
shrugging gladly)
Ay, marry, Lifter, wherefore serve they?
LIFTER
Only to feel
Whether you go full under sail or no,
Or that your lading be aboard your barque.
SURESBY
In plainer English, Lifter, if my purse
Be stored or no?
LIFTER
Ye have it, sir.
SURESBY