Read William Shakespeare's The Phantom Menace Online
Authors: Ian Doescher
I do not know; unclear the future is.
And Gungans gettin' pasted too, eh?
It is my fervent hope that shall not be.
De Gungans no die sans a fightee.
We allsa warriorsâgrand armee!
Methinks that's whysa you no like us.
Enter
C
APTAIN
P
ANAKA
and
S
ENATOR
P
ALPATINE
.
Your Highness, I bring tidings of delight!
Our noble Palpatine is nominee
To soon succeed Valorum's feeble rule
As Chancellor Supreme. Is not this grand?
Surprising 'tis, Your Highness. Welcome, tooâ
If I elected am, I'll put an end
To all the Senate's vile, corrupted ways.
Who else a nomination did receive?
one Bail Antilles of old Alderaan,
And Ainlee Teem of Malastare as well.
I feel most confident full many votes
Of sympathy our cause shall garner us.
Forsooth, I shall be chancellor anon.
Once you have o'er the bureaucrats control,
I fear our people shall no longer be:
Our way of life shall, by then, be destroy'd.
I understand your worry, Majesty.
The Federation, though, doth revel in
Possession o'er our planet even now.
Good Senator, this is your chosen sphereâ
Among the politicians you excel,
Troth, I have ev'ry hope of your success
And faith in your most shrewd abilities.
My sphere doth call most urgently to me,
Its voice doth cry with desperation loud,
And so unto Naboo I must return:
Where I am needed, thither I shall go.
[
aside:
] The queen doth walk upon the fool-made path.
Return, Your Majesty? I bid you, pause,
Consider the reality you face.
If you go back, you shall be forc'd to sign
The wretched treaty most assuredly.
Nay, hear me now: no treaty shall I sign.
Whatever Fate hath woven for Naboo
Shall be my final destiny as well.
Good Captain?
âHighness?
âGo, prepare the ship.
I prithee, Highness, stay here where 'tis safe.
I have a good eye, Senator; I can
Yet see a Jedi temple by daylight.
'Tis plain to me that our Republic doth
No longer function for the good of all.
'Tis plain that your proud Senate doth exist
To serve itself, not its constituents.
'Tis plain that if I would for justice seek,
I must look elsewhere than on Coruscant.
If you would serve me here, bring reason once
Again unto the Senate. Now, adieu.
[Exeunt Queen Amidala, Jar Jar Binks, and Captain Panaka
.
A royal wish doth move my soul no wise,
For I am made to answer no one's wish
Save for mine own. This sniv'ling, sullen girl
Shall be but slight impediment unto
The plan for the Republic I'll devise.
Devising shall become division when
I sow the seeds of discord in this place,
Which shall spread o'er the galaxy anon.
O, Queen, your words do reek of schoolgirl's moans,
E'er braying for some smear she hath endur'd.
Your actions are no wiser, as you seek
Nobility in death upon Naboo.
Yet, 'tis no matter: I shall write the end
I carefully have plann'd despiteâor e'en
In spite ofâher departure to her home.
My plans shall by no regal deed be still'd,
For I'll perform whatever I have will'd.
[Exit
.
On the planet Coruscant
.
Enter
J
EDI 1
and
J
EDI 2
.
Well met, my friend! Say, art thou well?
âIndeed,
As merry as the day is long. And thou?
A pleasant afternoon I just have spent
A'poring o'er the Jedi archives here.
What is within to perk thine interest?
I do confess I find them rather dry.
O, say not so! The archives are a key
That opens up a world of scholarship.
I never took thee for a bookish owl.
What didst thou find today t'excite thy mind?
A pattern hid within the history
Of our vast galaxy leap'd fore my sight.
A pattern, aye?
âAs clear as is the sun.
It seemeth each millennium or two
There is a backward movement in the Forceâ
Indeed, in all of lifeâsuch that the things
That now seem commonplace would, in some years,
Seem wildly futuristic.
âAn example?
We have technology appropriate
Unto our era, and we Jedi have
Th'ability to leap across large chasms.
Imagine, then, if in some future time
All life betook a giant backward step:
Our ships would duller seem, we Jedi would
Not soar and spring as we are wont to do.
Canst thou imagine such a sharp decline?
Such retrograde must be impossible.
Nay, 'twas the pattern I so clearly saw!
More fascinating is: it seemeth we
Are due for just another swift step back
Within mere decades hence.
âBut can this be?
The hist'ry doth not lie. If I have done
The calculations right, within a span
Of thirty years, we'll see a sharp turn back
In our technology and Jedi skillsâ
E'en fashion shall regression undergo.
What wilt thou do with this discovery?
I first did think to share with Yoda.
âAye,
'Tis sensible enough as he is wise
And pure, and serveth on the council with
A voice most fair and just. Keen choice, my friend.
Yet in the end, 'twas not he I did choose.
Then whom?
âThe senator, e'en Palpatineâ
A noble sort of fellow, good and kind.
I shall inform him of the things to come.
Art thou most sure thou shouldst not give this news
To one among the Jedi, worthy friend?
If it shall be the Jedi are less skill'd,
Should not this news be shar'd among our own?
Alas, we Jedi are becoming known
For our mistrust of others! Troth, this news
Shall show us ready for collaboration:
The Jedi and the politicians join'd
As one in mind, with peaceful harmony.
Mayhap thou art correct. And even so,
Perchance the pattern thou observ'st is false.
would it were so. I would not like to see't!
I sooner dead would be. Now shall we keep
Our habit and go dine at Dex's place?
A pattern I shall haply follow, friend.
[Exeunt Jedi 1 and Jedi 2
.
Enter
Q
UI
-G
ON
J
INN
and
O
BI
-W
AN
K
ENOBI
.
of disrespect I've none, sir, 'tis but truth.
The truth, yet from thy certain point of view.
The boy is dangerous, they all sense itâ
Say wherefore, then, can you not see it, too?
What Fate prepares for him is still unclear.
In troth, he is no danger, Obi-Wan.
The council shall his future settle, not
Both thou and I contending o'er what's true.
I prithee, let these words suffice for thee
And board the waiting ship; we soon fly hence.
[Exit Obi-Wan
.
Have I been blinded by ambition's light?
If it is so, it is a grievous fault,
And grievously I may yet answer it.
Yet this small child hath captur'd all my thoughts
As I have not for ages been consum'd.
I feel a presence in him that doth stir
My blood and sounds the call of destiny
To meet, befriend, and train this noble lad.
I trust the Jedi Council, yet they did
Not see his exploits in the podracing.
Their judgment is distorted by his age;
They see his fear, yet not his aptitude.
I am a Jedi, bound by discipline,
Yet in this matter I shall press the bounds
To bring their hesitation to assent.
In doing so, I earn a double share:
The boy is train'd in all the Jedi arts,
The council stretches and in wisdom grows,
And I do reap the benefit of both.
Thus I desire, and trust the Force shall soon
Fulfill this nobleâif ambitiousâwork.
Enter
A
NAKIN
S
KYWALKER
and
R2-D2.
I would not be a problem, Qui-Gon, sir.
I'll warrant thou wilt never problem be.
As yet, I am not given leave to train
Thee, but do ask thee to be mindful and
To watch o'er ev'ry move thou seest me make.
Remember, if thou canst: thy focus doth
Determine what shall be reality.
Stay by my side and e'er shalt thou be safe.
If I may yet another question ask
Of midi-chlorians wise Yoda spokeâ
Such term is unfamiliar to mine ears,
Pray tell me, what are midi-chlorians?
Once our vast galaxy did come to be,
Life came to being, wondrous miracle.
The energy of all potential life
Was bas'd in these first creatures, which did spread
And soon infusèd ev'ry living thing.
These masters of abundant, pure life force
We now know as the midi-chlorians.
The midi-chlorians are life-forms small,
Yea, microscopic are they, and reside
In ev'ry living being, in the cells.
They live within my body?
âAye, inside.
All living things are symbionts with them.
From one strange word unto another, sirâ
I prithee, tell me what are symbionts?
Two life-forms that together dwell as one,
Each make the other stronger when they're join'd,
And both do benefit in the exchange.
These, then, are symbionts. Thus, if there were
No midi-chlorians, life would be naught.
And neither would we know the Force's pow'r.
If we but listen, they e'er speak to us
And tell us of the Force and what it wills.
As thou dost learn to quiet thine own mind,
Thou shalt, like whisper'd poetry, hear their
Majestic voices ringing in thine ears.
'Tis like a music written for thy soul,
A symphony of words compos'd for thee.
'Tis difficult to comprehend this news.
O, thou art not alone, if thou canst not
The midi-chlorians yet understand.
Yet be thou patient and, in time, thou shalt.
[
aside:
] If I have heard aright, it seems to me
The midi-chlorians make a tough cell.
Enter
Q
UEEN
A
MIDALA
and
J
AR
J
AR
B
INKS
.
Your Majesty, it is our honor to
Continue in your service and defense.
Your aid is fully welcome. Palpatine
Believes I do but flee the frying pot
To face the Federation's fire at home.
Whilst you are in my charge, I'll chill the threat
Of any Federation flames that rise.
As long as I have breath, I'll guard your life.
Hurrah! Now weesa goin' homee!
Methinks it may be trouble we pursueâ
If so, we fly to battle on Naboo.
[Exeunt
.
On the planet Naboo and aboard the Naboo cruiser
.
Enter
N
UTE
G
UNRAY
and
R
UNE
H
AAKO
on balcony, with
D
ARTH
S
IDIOUS
in beam
.