Read William Shakespeare's The Phantom Menace Online
Authors: Ian Doescher
O fly, swift Anakin, and make me proud!
Pray, do not say the word, Qui-Gon: we go
To eagerly behold the final act.
[Exeunt Padmé and Jar Jar Binks
.
I said so ere this, winsome lady, and
Declare once more: I sense the boy shall win,
And when he doth prevail we shall behold
The swift fulfillment of our mighty hope.
Your solace is most reassuring, sir,
Yet I maintain: the mother's sole concern
Is for the son, and not the broader cause.
Young Skywalker is forc'd to ride upon
The service rampâunfortunate this turn!
First down, then up, and next in danger great.
This racing of the pods is made for souls
Much braver, more courageous than myself.
Enter
P
ADMÃ
.
How now? Art back so soon?
â'Tis pain t'observe!
With what abusive knocks Sebulba drives
The boy aside, e'en to the limit of
The path. 'Twas nearly more than I could bear.
As Anakin was forcèd far off course,
It seem'd Sebulba had the lead secure,
And nothing could disrupt his triumph sure.
Yet even then all was not lost, in truthâ
Another startling turn had Fate to make:
Like some astounding phoenix rising from
The ashes where it recently did burn,
The boy comes swooping o'er the enemy
And in a blaze of fire doth fly ahead.
What can this mean?
âHear, madam, and believe:
The boy hath ta'en the lead.
âAhh, can it be?
I almost am more shaken by this news
That he could win, than when I did believe
He had but little chance.
â'Tis Skywalker!
A swift control thrust putteth him on trackâ
Such flying we've not seen for ages. Zounds!
Enter
J
AR
J
AR
B
INKS
.
His podracer is breakee breakee!
What's this? [
To Padmé:
] I prithee, go and see again.
[Exit Padmé
.
Now 'tis some trouble for small Skywalkerâ
Sebulba hath again reclaim'd the front.
De bad Sebulba come behindee,
He sneakee up, and Ani scaredee.
Den did a part fall off his shippee,
Dere lotsa smoke, Sebulba coughin',
But den Sebulba zoom in frontee.
O! Meesa canna take it nowa.
Divulge yourself, most honor'd, noble Force!
Be seen by ev'ry soul that gathers here
To watch the pods fly o'er this desert course.
Show them the power that the Force doth give,
E'en to a lowly youth as Anakin.
Display the wisdom and experience
That one is heir to in the Force's sway.
Reveal how weak are those who nothing know
Of your astonishing and awesome strength.
Make known here in the sight of this large crowd,
That none succeed who do not know your name.
Enter
P
ADMÃ
.
Another turn upon another turn!
The lad again doth chase Sebulba's tailâ
And nearly hath he overtaken him!
O inkabunga!
âMad the human small
Most certain be, to make such desperate
Maneuvers.
âPunda tah punda.
âE'en now
The two are side by side.
âBangu du bang'!
The double-man speaks true! Our Anakin
Had lost his engineânearly did he wreckâ
Yet manag'd he to bring it back online.
As they tore through the canyon, Anakin
Gave chase until he ran not far behind.
Then, with a valor well beyond his years,
Drew he aside Sebulba, and did hook
The Dug's fleet pod so that they rode as one.
At last, when Anakin had all arrang'd,
He drove his vessel forward, which did blow
Sebulba's pod into a thousand parts.
A'whining and a'crying in the sand,
Sebulba is defeated! I expect
The swift return of Ani's pod anon!
O, thank the Force!
âPast expectation, this!
Enter
A
NAKIN
S
KYWALKER
,
crossing the finish line in triumph
.
Hurrah!
âBeep, meep, beep, squeak!
âO merry day!
Mine eyes had not believ'd it possible.
[Exeunt Qui-Gon, Shmi, Padmé, and Jar Jar from balcony
.
How all in joy and frenzied mirth do greet
This unexpected, wondrous champion!
The cheer that rises from the thousands here
Is more than we have heard in all our days!
Enter
Q
UI
-G
ON
J
INN
, S
HMI
S
KYWALKER
, P
ADMÃ
,
and
J
AR
J
AR
B
INKS
to welcome
A
NAKIN
.
Yay, Anakin! De clever boyee!
O mother! Didst thou see? I have prevail'd!
What marvelous accomplishment, bright star
Of Tatooine. Thou makest me most proud.
The Force was present with thee here, forsooth.
[
embracing Anakin:
] We owe to thee our boundless gratitudeâ
When we look'd for a hero, thou didst come.
Fine lady, if I did but make you glad,
Then ev'ry nervous turn was worth its pain.
Now, pardon, I must seek old Watto out,
And claim from him our wages justly earn'd.
[Exeunt Qui-Gon Jinn, Padmé, Jar Jar Binks, Fode and Beed, R2-D2, C-3PO, Kitster, podracers, and crowd
.
Thou hadst no need of worry, mother mine:
Thy boy is safe, is here, and he is thine.
[Shmi takes Anakin in her arms, singing
.
[
sings:
] Shall I make merry? O, shall I make mirth?
Thee did I love, since th'instant of thy birth,
To see thee win is unto my heart gain,
Yet still I fear, and sense some future pain.
Hark! Cracks a mother's heart.
Shall I make merry, O, shall I make mirth?
Today thou hast prov'd thy most ample worth,
Thou showest scores of strength to ev'ryone,
And by the showing, shall I lose a son?
Hark! Cracks a mother's heart.
Shall I make merry, O, shall I make mirth?
Of quiet moments have our lives a dearth,
The visitors who come are noble men,
Yet when they go, shall I know peace again?
Hark! Cracks a mother's heart.
[Exeunt
.
On the planet Tatooine
.
Enter
Q
UI
-G
ON
J
INN
and
W
ATTO
.
You vile dissembler, cheat and villain rankâ
Somehow I have been swindl'd in your deal.
You knewâby magic most unnationalâ
The boy would find the will to win the race.
My fortune hath been most unfortunate,
And all that I did think to win I've lost.
And yet the sport is gambling call'd for there
Is e'er the chance that one shall sorely lose.
When one doth walk e'er near th'inferno's edge,
One must expect to burn from time to time.
Now to our business: bring thou the parts
Unto the hangar where I'll make my claim.
Thereafter I shall visit thy small shop,
That thou may to my care release the boy.
WATTO Nay, I shall never let you take him hence;
A wager's mollified when one doth cheat.
Mayhap thou wouldst prefer to talk it o'er
Within the court and justice of the Hutts?
I have no doubt they would take merriment
In proffering a settlement twixt us.
I would delight to witness Jabba's face
As thou explainest thine absurd complaint.
[
aside:
] This mention of the Hutts destroys my case.
[
To Qui-Gon:
] Forsooth, the boy is yoursâboth be accurs'd!
[Exit Watto
.
Enter
O
BI
-W
AN
K
ENOBI
.
We have the needed parts to take our flight,
And may this abject settlement depart.
Yet first must I go thither to complete
A vital matterâI shall not be long.
Say, wherefore do I sense that we shall add
Another wretched life-form to our group?
It is the boy who hath made possible
Our flight beyond this planet desolate.
Now our responsibility's to himâ
Our path becometh his path, Obi-Wan.
Install the hyperdrive with all good haste,
That we may fly the moment I return.
[Qui-Gon walks aside
.
Obi-Wan begins to exit
.
[
aside:
] What news is this that comes from
Master Qui-Gon?
The four who left our ship shall now be five?
We have acquir'd a hyperdrive and in
The acquisition comes a boy as well.
What strange part shops have they on Tatooine
That do include a lad with ev'ry sale!
'Tis double-dealing ta'en to an extreme.
[Exit Obi-Wan
.
Pray, madam and young Anakin, come forth!
Enter
A
NAKIN
S
KYWALKER
and
S
HMI
S
KYWALKER
.
What is it, sir?
âFirst must I render to
Thee what is due: the money for thy pod.
[Qui-Gon gives the money to Anakin, who gives it to Shmi
.
Behold, sweet motherâwealth we ne'er have known.
'Tis wonderful beyond expectancy.
Yet I shall render e'en a greater prize:
Thy freedom thou obtain'd in the podrace.
I say again, young Anakin: th'art free.
Mine ears do play me tricks: what did you say?
No longer art thou slave to anyone.
Hast heard, dear mother? Freedom now is mine!
There's naught shall hold thee back now, cherish'd child.
Thou art a free man, free at last to dream
And make thy dreams into reality.
It is a privilege thou shouldst embrace.
[
To Qui-Gon:
] With all my heart I beg you: take him hence,
Deliver him from this cruel life we lead
And make him yet a Jedi like yourself.
Thy wish is mine as well, and I believe
'Twas no coincidence we three did meet.
The Force knows not of accident nor chance,
But wisely guides our footfalls, one by one.
Then I shall fly within your starship, sir?
I bid thee, understand now, Anakin:
To be a Jedi's not an easy path,
The training is a task that few endure,
A challenge to the mind and heart and soul.
E'en if thou dost in training find success,
'Tis but the prelude to a life most rare
And rife with difficulty sans compare.