Read William Shakespeare's The Phantom Menace Online
Authors: Ian Doescher
A plan most well-conceiv'd, and dangerous.
The risks are bounteous, as well you know.
Your fighters' weapons may not penetrate
The large ship's shields.
âAn even greater risk:
If it doth happen that the viceroy 'scapes,
He shall another army bring to bear.
'Tis clear, then, why we must the viceroy takeâ
No different conclusion shall suffice.
Upon that ending all our hopes begin.
Beep, squeak! [
Aside:
] O, cause most nobleâmay it rise!
[Exeunt Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, Padmé, Anakin, Sabé, Captain Panaka, Ric Olié, R2-D2, and Naboo soldiers. Gungans begin preparing for battle
.
Enter
G
UNGANS
riding fambaas
.
The shields we now be starting up. Make ready!
[
aside:
] O, sight that bringeth tears unto mine eyes:
The Gungans brave astride their fambaas raise
A shield that shall protect us verily.
This is the moment for which I have liv'd,
To see my sore oppress'd and careworn folk
Rise with one voice and hope with the Naboo.
O shield, give us protection from this war,
O shield, be our defense against the wrong,
O shield, guard all our peaceful future days,
O shield, let we beleaguer'd souls have rest.
Behold, there in the distance, foes they come!
[
aside:
] The battle hath begun, and 'tis our timeâ
This day shall live fore'er in song and rhyme!
[Exeunt, marching toward battle
.
On the planet Naboo
.
Enter
Q
UI
-G
ON
J
INN
, O
BI
-W
AN
K
ENOBI
, P
ADMÃ
, A
NAKIN
S
KYWALKER
, R2-D2, C
APTAIN
P
ANAKA
, N
ABOO SOLDIERS
,
and
PILOTS
,
including
R
IC
O
LIÃ
,
across from
BATTLE DROIDS
.
Pray listen, Anakin: once we're inside,
Thou shouldst be hidden and await us there.
Indeed, sir. Aye.
âAwait us thereâmove not!
[The Naboo forces begin dueling with battle droids
.
Exeunt Naboo soldiers and battle droids
.
Anon, good friends, let us toward the throne,
Where we shall take the viceroy by surprise.
Enter
N
UTE
G
UNRAY
, R
UNE
H
AAKO
,
and
D
ARTH
M
AUL
above, on balcony, observing the battle on a screen
.
Methought the battle would be far from here!
How is't that they the courtyard have achiev'd?
This is too close. O, shall this mean our end?
[Exeunt Nute Gunray, Rune Haako, and Darth Maul
.
Enter more
BATTLE DROIDS
,
engaging in combat
.
The battle is upon us nowâpress on!
We speedily rush t'ward the hangar to
Release the pilots to the skies above.
Courageously these men and women fly
To strike the ship that doth control these droids!
Young Anakin, the time is nowâflee, hide!
And stay thou in one place till this fight's o'er.
I go, kind sir, and shall await you here.
Beep, meep, beep, whistle, squeak, beep, meep, nee, hoo!
[
Aside:
] Abide with him I shall, and keep him safe.
[Anakin and R2-D2 run aside to take cover
.
Ye pilots brave, make for your ships and fly!
They go, amidst the constant blaster fire,
They go to serve our hope with their own lives!
Take wing, ye gentles all, and aid our cause!
Beep, whistle, hoo! [
Aside:
] This zealous ship hath pull'd
Me whole within to ready for a launch.
Alas, the pilot who would lead me falls!
What shall I do?
âThe blaster shots fire fast
And quick, just barely passing by my head.
I shall be safer in the cockpit of
This ship that here doth sit without an owner.
[Anakin climbs aboard the ship into which R2-D2 has just been placed
.
The droids are all defeated: for a time
We have some rest. Yet it shall surely pass.
The viceroy must within the throne room be.
One group, two groupsâred group, blue groupâmake haste!
Attend me now, come join our latest quest.
Pray, wait for me, I come anon.
âNay, stay!
Thou shalt be safe within that armor'd ship.
But I would follow.
âHear my words: remain
Within that cockpit till we do return.
Enter
D
ARTH
M
AUL
.
[
To Padmé:
] This fight is ours. Your Highness, fare you well.
We'll to the throne room by another route.
[Exeunt Padmé, Captain Panaka, and other Naboo soldiers
.
I know not who you are or what you want,
Yet I do have skills most particular,
Acquir'd throughout a Jedi's long career.
These skills do make me nightmarish to such
As you. Surrender now, and you shall liveâ
If not, you shall be dead, and there's an end.
I'll not be taken by you, man naïve;
Your feeble skills are naught when match'd to mine.
This is the moment I have longèd for:
Two Jedi to assuage mine appetite.
We are no feast for you, O wretched knave.
Lay on, you Sith, and by us be you damn'd!
[Exeunt Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, and Darth Maul, dueling
.
Enter
DROIDEKAS
,
firing
.
We must do something speedily, R2!
Beep, meep!
âI know not where the trigger is.
I'll try this button hereâbut wait, what's this?
This vessel doth begin to flyâ'tis live!
Ahh, here are the controls that operate
The gunsâfeel ye the taste of laser fire!
[Anakin shoots, destroying the droidekas
.
Squeak, whistle, nee!
âIt flies of its own will.
Hold steady, R2âfly we into space!
[Anakin flies aside
.
Enter
R
IC
O
LIÃ
and
PILOTS
aside, in space, with
F
EDERATION FIGHTERS
opposing them
.
Be cautious all, 'tis fighters straight ahead.
Forsooth, good Bravo Leader.
âAye, indeed!
Beep, squeak, beep, whistle, meep!
âBehold, R2,
Our comrades there do fight the errant foe.
The autopilot takes us there e'en now.
Although by this machine I am drawn forth,
It echoes my desire as well, as though
'Twere I who had programm'd this speedy ship.
Away to heav'n, respective lenity,
And fire-ey'd fury be my conduct now.
Let us away, and thither join the fray!
The shield deflector's much too strong for us!
This fighting is intense beyond all reason.
I prithee, R2, do thine expert work
And from this autopilot give release
Before we both are cruelly kill'd herein!
Beep, whistle!
âClever droid, R2âhast done!
Let us unto the portside deviate.
[
aside:
] This boy, methinks, hath still a manner wildâ
Mayhap he thinks this is a podrace field.
[
To Anakin:
] Meep, squeak?
âReturn? Why no, it shall not be.
The master Qui-Gon order'd me direct
To stay within the cockpit of this ship.
I shall fulfill his mandate to the wordâ
The letter of the law is thus fulfill'd,
E'en if, in doing so, the spirit's snubb'd.
Meep, woo, beep, whistle, squeak, beep, whistle, nee!