Wind Dancer (7 page)

Something lay on the ground next to a hammer. It was Danny’s hat. Military issue. The one he had returned home with from Afghanistan.

She felt the lump rise in her throat. Why was everything so upside-down lately? Why couldn’t she get things right? She plopped down in the sand beside the rebuilt chicken pen and cried.

Ali sat there for a few minutes, feeling sorry for herself. The baby chicks finally brought her out of her pity party. There was barely any light left, but still she could see them hopping around, pecking at the ground, and tumbling over each other.

Danny had cared enough to do something nice for her. Was it his way of apologizing for the accident today? Or did he feel badly about the way he’d behaved since he came home from the war? Whatever it was, she needed to let him know she appreciated his efforts.

Ali changed the chicks’ water, added food to their dish, and then wrangled them into the coop for the night. She made her way back to the house to clean up.

After a good scrub down to remove horse hair and chick food, she went to the kitchen and pulled out flour, eggs, butter, sugar, and a bag of chocolate chips.

Ten minutes later her mom came into the kitchen. “What are you up to?” she asked, taking in the mess on the counter and the flour down the front of Ali’s shirt. “It’s almost your bedtime.”

“I’m making cookies for Danny.” Ali wiped the spilled
flour off the counter and shook it into the sink. “He fixed my chicken pen while I was watching TV. It looks really good.”

Her mom dipped her finger in the cookie dough. “Yum,” she said. “Danny will love these. Looks like that ride to the feed store today did you two some good.”

“Yes,” Ali responded happily. But then she remembered the accident and Danny’s bewildered response. “Er … I hope he likes them.” Ali tried to steady her voice as she dropped the cookie dough by the spoonful onto the greased cookie sheet. “I’ve got to get these baked, then try to get a few hours’ sleep before the next feeding.”

“I’ll take over that one,” her mother offered. “This project is a little bigger than your father and I realized. You need your sleep. School is almost out and you want to finish strong. You’ll have all summer to stay up late.”

“No, I can do it, Mom.” Ali popped the cookies into the oven. “I guess I’m responsible for them being here, since I turned in Mrs. Marshall.”
And the faster I help them get better, the sooner we can find them a new home
.

“That’s very mature of you, dear.” Her mom sneaked another bit of cookie dough. “But it makes me feel old to see my thirteen-year-old daughter acting so grown-up. Are you sure you don’t want me or your father to handle it?”

“I’ll be fine, Mom, really,” Ali said. “I’ll catch some sleep as soon as these cookies are out of the oven, then set my alarm.”

It was after 10:00 when Ali finally got the cookies baked and the kitchen cleaned up. Though she could barely keep her eyes open, she pulled a plate down from the cupboard and put a half dozen cookies on it. Then she filled a glass with ice-cold milk and put everything on a tray.

Ali carried the tray upstairs, placed it in front of Danny’s door, and knocked. Surprised to hear him making his way to the door, she hightailed it to her room and closed the door without making a sound. Danny’s door creaked open. There was a long pause and she imagined him looking up and down the hallway, wondering who had left the cookies. His door closed with a soft click.

Ali put on pajamas and crawled into bed. Maybe she’d make a special plate of cookies for Jamie and his dad tomorrow. She set the alarm to wake her in a couple of hours, then closed her eyes and quickly drifted off to sleep.

When her alarm went off a while later, Ali sat up in bed and rubbed her eyes. “Ugh!” she muttered, scooting her legs over the side of the bed and fishing in the dark for her barn clothes. She felt like a rag doll as she stood and pulled on her jeans and T-shirt. Why hadn’t she let her mom take over this late-night feeding? She grabbed the flashlight off her dresser and went downstairs, the beam of light slicing a through the darkness. Stumbling outside, she made her way to the horse corrals.

Both horses were lying down, but Misty stood and shook the sand from her coat before making her way to the fence. She nickered and extended her nose, pushing her muzzle into Ali’s hair.

Ali closed her eyes and breathed in the heady scent of horse. Memories of Max floated through her mind. She reached out her hand and allowed herself, and Misty, one good pat and ear scratch. Better Misty than Wind Dancer.

She gave one bucket to each horse, barely looking at Wind Dancer. Much to Ali’s surprise, the gelding gingerly got to his feet and shuffled over to the bucket, pushing his nose down into the hay. He chewed loudly, grinding the hay in his molars and swallowing. He was eating fairly slowly—especially compared to Misty, who had already wolfed down her ration and was begging for more. But he was eating on his own, and that gave Ali a big sense of accomplishment.

She tiptoed back to her room, too tired to even get out of her horse clothes before she fell sound asleep.

Ali woke to the sound of chirping birds. Something was wrong. Sunlight flooded her room. She sat straight up in bed and reached for her alarm clock. It hadn’t gone off … because she had forgotten to reset it before falling asleep last night.

She’d slept straight through the last feeding! Ali leaped out of bed and pulled on her jeans and boots. She finger-combed her hair as she ran down the staircase. What would Jamie and Dr. Forrester have to say? She was as bad as Mrs. Marshall!

Her mother sat at the kitchen table. “How’d the late night feedings go?” she asked.

“I’ll explain everything in a minute.” Ali ran out the back door. How could she have overslept? She should have set her cell phone alarm too.

Ali came to a screeching halt at the horse pen. Both horses stood in big piles of hay—at least two or three flakes from the looks of it.

“Stop! Don’t eat that!” She rushed into Wind Dancer’s pen
and shooed him away from the hay. Though she was desperate to get the hay away from him, she was also surprised to see he was actually eating it. How much had he consumed already? He was only supposed to get a quarter of a flake and there was ten times that amount on the ground. How long had the horses been eating?

She gathered armloads of alfalfa and chucked it over the fence, then ran to Misty’s pen and repeated the procedure. There was much less hay there. Had the mare eaten more, or been fed less?

Who could have done this?
Her parents knew better. Ali looked around their property. Could an early riser have seen the skinny horses and tried to do them a favor? If only she knew how much each horse had eaten!

She checked Misty over first. The mare had a big appetite; she had probably consumed more than Wind Dancer had. That would put her in bigger trouble.

She wasn’t really sure what symptoms she should look for. The vet had said it would take three to five days for refeeding syndrome to appear. She racked her brain, trying to remember anything else the vet had told her.

She looked at her watch. Dr. Forrester and Jamie were due here any minute. She hoped they weren’t late.

Ali slipped into Wind Dancer’s pen and looked him over. He seemed about the same as he had last night. Would it make a difference that the horses had missed a feeding before their big meal?

Why didn’t I set both alarms?
She needed to tell her parents. They might know what to do.

Danny hobbled around the corner. “Did they eat all their hay?” he asked.

“It was
you?
”

Danny tried to coax Wind Dancer over to the fence, seemingly unaware of the anger in his sister’s voice. “No one was up yet, and that white mare kept nickering like she wanted to be fed,” he said. “They’re so skinny; I thought I’d throw them some extra hay.”

“Danny …” Ali tried to control her reaction. “Do you know what you’ve done?”

Danny’s smile turned into a confused frown. “I fed the horses,” he said. “Isn’t that what you’ve been doing?”

Ali closed her eyes, willing herself not to be sick. Up until last night, Danny had never shown any interest in horses—not even Max. No one had bothered to tell him anything about the limited feeding program of these horses because no one expected him to have anything to do with them.

She took a deep breath. “Danny, you shouldn’t have done that. They can’t have that much food. They could die!”

He looked stricken, then his cheeks reddened. “I can’t seem to do anything right these days!” He tossed his hands in the air. “Why do I even bother to try? I should have never come home!” Her brother lurched away, shoulders slumped.

“Danny … wait!” Why had she spoken so harshly? Danny was already struggling. She shouldn’t have blamed him. If she’d only set her alarm. She ran after him.

Danny spun around on his crutches and glared at her. “Don’t follow me!”

The words cut Ali to the quick. They were the exact words he had said before she had followed him into the desert on Max.

Ali watched her brother clumsily negotiate the back steps to the house. Why couldn’t she have found the right words?
Danny hadn’t intended to harm the horses. He thought he was helping.

Danny glanced over his shoulder just before he entered the house. The look on his face broke Ali’s heart. She should have kept her mouth shut. Not only had she lost this battle, she’d lost the whole silly war. And worst of all, she’d lost her brother all over again.

Tires crunched on the gravel. Dr. Forrester and Jamie had arrived. Ali stared at the house for a few more seconds, willing Danny to reappear, though she knew he wouldn’t.

She’d deal with her brother later. For now, she had to focus on how to help the horses. “Mom! Dad!” she yelled. “The vet is here. Can you come help, please?”

Her mom stuck her head out the door. “I’ll be there in a minute, dear. Right after I see what’s up with your brother.”

Why do problems always come in big bunches?
She’d have to explain the situation to her parents. But first, she had to tell Jamie and his dad just how badly she’d messed up.

Jamie had a big smile on his face. Ali tried to smile back, but it didn’t work. “Is everything okay?” he asked.

Ali took a steadying breath. “We might have a problem,” she said.
That’s the understatement of the year
.

Dr. Forrester climbed out of the truck. “What kind of problem?”

“It’s all my fault,” she began. “I did a feeding at 9:00 last night and another a little after 1:00
AM
. I was so tired, I forgot to set my alarm for the 5:00
AM
feeding. I just woke up. When I came down to feed …”

“And …?” the veterinarian prompted. “Missing a feeding by a few hours isn’t good, but it shouldn’t cause much of a problem. Is there something else?”

Ali waved her hand at the big pile of hay outside of the corrals. “My brother thought he was helping. He didn’t know that the horses were only supposed to get a little bit to eat. I don’t know how long or how much they’ve eaten.”

“Can’t you ask your brother how much he gave them?” Jamie asked.

Ali shook her head. “Danny’s been under a lot of stress since he came home from the war.” She stared up at his bedroom window, wondering what he was doing up there. The blinds were tightly closed. “I kind of accused him of harming the horses and he got upset. I don’t think he’ll talk to anyone for a while. But from what I can tell, he gave them two or three flakes apiece.”

Dr. Forrester looked at the pile of loose hay. “From the looks of it, I don’t think they could have eaten all that much.” He took his stethoscope from his bag and entered Wind Dancer’s pen. “We’ll just have to figure this out ourselves,” he said. “I’ll start with this guy since he’s in the worst shape.”

He listened to Wind Dancer’s heartbeat. The gelding stood with his head down and his ears out to the side, a little more alert than he’d been in the previous days, but still not very active.

Ali waited anxiously while the vet moved the instrument around on the horse’s belly. “What are you checking for?” she asked.

“Gut sounds,” the vet replied. “A horse with a healthy stomach will have a lot of noise going on in there after they’ve eaten. If you don’t get much sound after a meal, that might indicate trouble. I’m also listening to his heart and
lungs to see if anything is amiss.” He took another few minutes to examine the gelding, then straightened and pulled the stethoscope out of his ears.

Ali’s parents joined her at the fence. “What’s going on?” her father asked.

“Danny came into the house with a full head of steam and went straight to his bedroom,” her mother said. “What happened out here?”

Ali didn’t know where to start. Thankfully, Dr. Forrester stepped in. “It looks like Danny didn’t know about the feeding instructions. He thought he was helping by giving the horses a big pile of hay.”

“Oh, no!” Her mother looked at Ali. “I guess that explains a lot.”

“I’ll talk to Danny in a bit,” Ali’s dad said. “He needs a little time to cool off.” He turned to the vet. “How are the horses faring?”

Dr. Forrester motioned for Jamie to halter the white mare. “Wind Dancer’s heart rate and breathing are a bit lower than I would like,” he said. “But he seems to be digesting his food okay. I haven’t examined the white mare yet, but I’ll have to monitor these horses closely for the next several days to see if they’re showing any signs of refeeding syndrome. I’m going to take some blood samples from both of them and see what their electrolyte balance is. That’ll tell us what’s going on with their organ functions. Their electrolyte levels will drop significantly if they’re going into refeeding syndrome. If that happens, we’ve got big trouble.”

“I’m really sorry, Dr. Forrester.” Ali hung her head. “This is all my fault.”

The veterinarian smiled. “Don’t be too hard on yourself, missy. You’re taking on a big load of responsibility here with
some very sick horses. Even with the best of care and no mistakes, they could still have trouble.”

Ali’s mom put her arm around Ali’s shoulders. “It’s mostly our fault, honey. Your father and I shouldn’t have let you shoulder so much of this job.”

“I know you wanted to handle most of the work yourself,” her father said. “But we should have stepped in and insisted that we help you a little more, Ali. We’re the parents. We’re supposed to know this stuff.”

“It’s okay.” Ali crammed her hands into her jeans pockets and stared at the ground. “You guys are dealing with a lot right now with Danny. I wanted to do most of the work with the horses to help take some of the load off.”

“We all should have communicated a little better,” her mother said. “Maybe then this wouldn’t have happened.”

“What if the horses do get sick?” Ali asked.

“We don’t have time to worry about the
what-ifs
,” the vet said. “Let’s concentrate on
what is
and where we go from here.”

Ali kept her eyes on the ground and nodded. She didn’t want anyone to see the tears that were forming in her eyes.

“Come on, Ali,” Jamie said. “My dad is right. Sometimes stuff happens that’s out of our control. It’s not time to give up. There’s still plenty of hope.”

“I haven’t given up,” she said, willing back the tears. “I just hope they’re going to be okay.”

Dr. Forrester drew a blood sample from each of the horses, then carefully packed the vials for transport. “The labs are normally closed on Sunday,” he said. “But a good friend of mine runs the local one, so I’ll drop these off as soon as I’m done here. In the meantime, I want to give them some intravenous fluids. We need to make sure they’re getting some
electrolytes and essential vitamins and minerals back into their system. That’ll help keep them from getting refeeding syndrome.”

“What do you want me to do?” Ali asked. “How can I help?”

“Yes, Doctor,” Ali’s mom said. “If there’s something that we can all do, please let us know.”

“I want you to keep them on the program I gave you,” Dr. Forrester said. “Feed small amounts of alfalfa every four hours. Maybe walk them a little bit in their pen if they seem up to it. You can even brush them a bit to make them feel good and improve their circulation. We’ll be back in a few hours once we get the results of these tests.”

Jamie helped his dad pack up the truck, then waved goodbye as they drove away.

It was going to be a long few hours before they heard from the vet. Hours of wondering if she had caused a catastrophe. She needed to think of other things.

Dr. Forrester had suggested walking the horses or brushing them. Ali frowned. If it helped them get better, maybe she should do it.

“I’ll check on Danny,” Ali’s dad said, heading back to the house.

Ali’s mom leaned on the fence rail. “I’ll stay out here until your father has had a chance to talk to him.” Ali grabbed the brush bucket and handed the new body brush to her mom. “Can you help me groom them? I’ll use the curry comb. You can go behind me with the body brush and sweep off all the dirt and hair.” She opened the gate to Wind Dancer’s pen.

She moved the rubber curry comb in circles across the gelding’s coat. Wind Dancer blew through his lips and twitched his ears. He seemed to be enjoying the rub, but he
still didn’t respond to her like he had her brother.

“So, what exactly happened with you and Danny?” her mother asked.

Ali shrugged. “He was just trying to help, and I came down on him pretty hard,” she admitted. “He got mad and stomped off.”

“I see.” Her mother ran the brush across Wind Dancer’s back. “Your brother has had a very hard time adjusting, Ali. I’m sure you’ve noticed. We’ve been trying to get him some help, but he doesn’t want it. He’s a grown man now. We can’t force him into anything he doesn’t want to do. Your father and I are kind of at our wit’s end.”

“It doesn’t help that he’s stubborn as a dang mule,” Ali said.

The corners of her mother’s mouth lifted a bit and Ali smiled too.

They finished up Wind Dancer and moved to Misty’s corral. The mare nudged Ali’s shirt when she came near. No doubt about it, Misty was in much better shape than Wind Dancer. The mare nudged her again. Misty definitely wanted to be friends.

“Danny’s not the same as when he left,” Ali continued. “I knew things were bad, but you and Dad never talked to me about it, so I looked up some stuff on the internet.”

Ali looked at Wind Dancer. What was it was about her brother that the horse preferred? She really shouldn’t care. He wasn’t her horse. But, still, it picked at her. Danny didn’t even like horses.

“What did you find out?” her mother asked.

Ali paused with her brush in midair while she tried to form her thoughts. There was no easy way to say it. “I think Danny has PTSD.”

Her mother nodded sadly. “Your father and I think so too. But Danny keeps insisting that he’s fine.”

“There’s an organization called the National Center for PTSD.” Ali grabbed a comb and concentrated on Misty’s mane. “They’ve got a lot of helpful information. I could show you and Dad where it is on the internet. And the Department of Veterans Affairs has a huge website with all kinds of stuff. There’s even a psychologist who wrote a book called
Taming the Fire Within
. She’s giving it away for free online to help soldiers with PTSD.”

“There’s a lot of help out there,” her mother agreed. “The problem is getting your brother to seek that help.” She rubbed the chain she wore around her neck and stared off into the distance. “I think your brother is … ashamed.” She looked Ali in the eye. “I don’t know what it’s going to take to get him to see that he needs help.”

Danny had almost killed them yesterday, all because of a backfire from a car. If that wasn’t enough to scare him into seeking help, what would it take? She thought about telling her mom about the incident. She’d promised not to. And she wanted Danny to know he could trust her. But what good was keeping a promise if it didn’t help the person it was supposed to protect?

“Ali?” her mother broke into her thoughts. “Is there something bothering you?”

Ali shook her head. “No, I’m just worried about Danny.” If things didn’t get better soon, she’d tell her mom and dad about the trip to the feed store.

“There’s a local branch of the VA here,” her mother continued. “Your father and I have decided to attend one of the meetings they hold for families. I guess it’s a good place to
start. We’re finally realizing that this isn’t something we can handle by ourselves. Maybe you’d like to go with us?”

“I think that’s a really good idea, Mom.” Ali tossed the brushes in the bucket and hugged her mother. “We’ll find a way to get through to him. We have to. Even if it’s tough.”

Her mom kissed the top of her head. “I know you’ve been trying really hard to make your brother feel at home, and it hasn’t been easy,” she said. “But we’ll keep trying. Danny fought for us. Now it’s our turn to return the favor.”

Her mother opened the gate. “Do you think we should find another person to care for the horses, Ali? Is this too much for us to handle?”

“No!” Ali was surprised by her sudden outburst. “I promised that I would help these horses. School is almost out. I’ll have more time then and so will Cara. When they’re back in good condition we can talk about finding them another home.”

But even as the words came out of her mouth, Ali wondered, if the horses made it through this crisis all right, would she really be able to let them go? She hated to admit it, but try as she might to keep her distance from them, Wind Dancer and Misty were working their way into her heart.