Wings of a Dove (34 page)

    "We've gone to the dance every year since we settled here, James. It's a tradition that means a lot to your father. My health is quite improved, and there is no reason for this to be the first year the Case family is not present."

    "I'm not arguing about your health, Mama. You've been much better these past two weeks; you're just about back to your usual self."

    Margaret nodded. She was almost her old self, but no one knew the magnitude of the effort she expended to appear that way. She knew her health had taken a sharp decline and that she would soon be unable to fool everyone as she did now. She had resigned herself to that truth. In the time left to her she was determined to give all the happiness she could to those she loved. She cherished a fervent wish to see her children settled before she was taken home. In the meantime, she would not deprive Jacob of the joy of celebrating another successful harvest with his neighbors. It was to be her gift to him a gift he would remember, always.

    "Yes, I'm almost my old self, and I know the reason for your concern. James, Delaney never attended the annual Harvest Dance in the past. What makes you believe he'll come tonight?"

    The tensing of James's facial muscles was more revealing than words, and Margaret raised her hand to her son's cheek.

    "James dear, you mustn't worry that Allie will"

    "He's all she thinks about, Mama, and he doesn't deserve her! She'll never believe me, but I know what would've happened if I hadn't shown up in time on Tillman Hill. I saw his face, the bastard!"

    "James!"

    James gave a short laugh. "No, I'm not sinking to his level, Mama although sometimes I think Allie would appreciate me more if I did." He gave a short shake of his head. "I could never treat her the way Marsh did. I love her."

    Margaret's faded eyes misted.

    "James dear, you must face the fact that Allie doesn't love    you, not in the way you love her. You know who she loves, even if she doesn't realize it yet."

    "Yes, I know." James's expression tightened further. "But Marsh will be leaving soon. I just want to keep Allie out of his way until then. I don't like the idea of giving him an opportunity to see her tonight."

    "James, there are certain things you must put in the hands of a higher power."

    "No."

    "James!"

    "I won't, Mama. If you insist on going to that dance tonight, I'll go, but before Marsh gets near Allie, he'll have to get past me."

    Margaret dropped her hands to her sides, her brow knotting with despair. "James, I don't want to see anyone hurt.'

    "I don't care. Marsh will be leaving Cass County soon, and when he's gone, Allie will turn to me. It may take a while, but I'll wait as long as I must for it to happen."

    "You're letting yourself in for a lot of heartache, James."

    "I don't have any other choice."

    "If that's the way you see it, dear."

    Taking a moment to smooth her son's dark jacket and adjust his tie, Margaret swallowed against the lump in her throat. James was an honest, good-looking young man, with his fair hair and boyish face. He would make a good husband and a good father someday, and she was very proud of him. But looking at him through Allie's eyes, she knew he faded into insignificance when compared with Delaney's dark, vibrant appeal, and the male magnetism he exuded without any effort at all. But James had so much more to offer her darling Allie than Delaney did. She could only hope Allie would recognize that before it was too late.

    Slipping her arm under James's, Margaret offered softly, "It's time to go, dear. Your father will have finished hitching up the team and will be impatient to leave."

    Turning, Margaret urged her son toward the door. Yes, James had so much more to offer. He could give Allie security, devotion, and love without reservation. Dear, angry Delaney, his emotions so deeply scarred from childhood, was not capable of that depth of emotion. She so dearly wanted Allie to be safe and secure when she was gone.

    Emerging into the hallway just as Allie's fair head disappeared around the bend in the staircase, Margaret felt the rush of emotion that touched James at the sight of her. Her heart ached for her son. But this would work out for the best. She knew it would, and Allie would remain in the bosom of their family forever.

    The lights from the Farmers' Meeting Hall at the far end of the town blinked brightly in the darkness of the clear fall night, calling him, but Delaney's determination remained firm. Turning, he seated himself at his desk.

    Ignoring the affair about to commence in the well-lit hall, he had walked to the
News
office earlier in the evening, silently acknowledging that this was the final test. He had no doubt the entire Case family was in attendance. He knew the importance Jacob Case put upon the dance. He had heard that Margaret Case had again rallied from her illness, and he knew that as long as she had the strength to pull herself to her feet, she would be at her husband's side. Now an hour later and countless aborted attempts to work behind him, he was still determined to maintain his resolve. Picking up another sheet of copy, he attempted to concentrate on the words as music echoed on the mild evening air.

    The last three weeks had been hell. Had he not given Max a promise to remain until the end of the month, he would have packed his belongings and left the first time Allie came to town with the family. It was then that he had first realized several things about himself.

    The first realization was that he despised the sight of Allie seated at James's side. The second was that he despised the weakness within him that allowed his mind to taunt him with images of James's hands on Allie's waist as he lifted her from the wagon, of his proprietary stance beside her, and most cutting of all of Allie's eyes turned up to James with unspoken confidence as they had so often looked into his.

    Pushing back his chair, Delaney returned to the window to stare in the direction of the hall. The third realization, which had been the most difficult to accept, was that the love Allie had given him so freely had made him vulnerable. It was a defect in the wall he had so carefully erected around his emotions, and it was a hindrance to the future he had mapped out for himself so long ago. By avoiding Allie since he had left the farm, he had    strengthened that part of himself, and he had no intention of allowing himself to weaken by seeing her tonight.

    He could not afford to say goodbye.

    Keeping that thought foremost in his mind, Delaney turned back to his desk. He gave a low, disgusted snort. It would be a long time before the new man, Bart Malone, would be able to give Max the help he needed. The fellow was one step up from an idiot, but Max had been desperate. Time was running out. Delaney was due to leave in a few days whether the response from Chicago came or not.

    His frown tightening, Delaney marked the sheet before him with a bold stroke. Bart would spend a full day tomorrow correcting his mistakes, but he supposed he should be grateful to Bart for keeping him occupied with work, especially tonight.

    A new burst of music from the far end of town brought a lilting melody to Delaney's ears, but he forced his mind back to the article before him with rigid control. A familiar face supplanted the printed words, and dark eyes spoke silent volumes. Callous to their mute appeal, Delaney continued reading.

    Allie took a sharp breath, her small hand clutching James's shoulder tightly as his dancing became more vigorous. Mistaking her gasp for delight, James smiled, increasing his whirling revolutions.

    The large hall was beginning to spin around her in dizzying circles when Allie raised her voice above the deafening din of boisterous music, dancing feet, and raucous calls.

    "James, you're making me dizzy!"

    Responding immediately to her appeal, James slowed his step, amusement obvious in his face.

    "Last year you couldn't get enough dancing, especially the waltz."

    "Last year you allowed me to keep my feet on the floor. Tonight I'm not dancing. I'm flying!"

    Slowing to a complete stop, James drew Allie off the floor, his hand firm at her waist as her step faltered. Waiting only until they had succeeded in escaping the crush of spectators around the dance floor, James slipped his arm around her waist and led her toward the door. He smiled at Allie's curious glance.

    ''You need some time to pull yourself together. And we need some privacy."

    The tone of James's voice drew Allie's light brows into a frown as he urged her through the doorway into the yard. Allie didn't want to be alone with him. She wasn't ready.

    They were walking in silence when James drew her into the shadows of a nearby tree. He attempted to take her into his arms, but Allie resisted with a soft plea.

    "James, please."

    "Please what?" James's anger was sudden and unexpected. "Please hold me closer, James? Please kiss me? Please love me? Those are all the things I've wanted to hear for a long time."

    "No, James. I… I'm not ready."

    "Don't say no, Allie." The anger suddenly vanishing from his voice, James caressed her shoulder with familiar gentleness. "You'll never be ready if you keep chasing me away. Is it really so distasteful to be in my arms?"

    Allie swallowed, mesmerized by the intensity mixed with pain in James's shadowed face. She did not want to be responsible for the anguish she saw there.

    "No, James. It isn't distasteful. I like being with you. I like talking with you, and I like dancing with you if you aren't making me dizzy. I like it when you put your arm around me and smile, but…"

    "But kissing you is another matter."

    James's stiff lips curved into a patient smile. "You're not used to kissing me, Allie, that's all. But you'll grow to like it as much as I do." Lowering his head unexpectedly, James brushed her lips with his.

    "Was that so bad?"

    "James"

    "How about this?" James touched his mouth to hers once more, his kiss lingering. "Answer me, Allie."

    Allie avoided his eyes.

    "It… it was pleasant, James."

    The brief silence that followed was broken by James's coaxing whisper. "Allie, look at me. Come on, look at me."

    The plea in his voice more than she could bear. Allie met his gaze. The love so openly displayed in his familiar face choked her with regret.

    ''You need some time to pull yourself together. And we need some privacy."

    The tone of James's voice drew Allie's light brows into a frown as he urged her through the doorway into the yard. Allie didn't want to be alone with him. She wasn't ready.

    They were walking in silence when James drew her into the shadows of a nearby tree. He attempted to take her into his arms, but Allie resisted with a soft plea.

    "James, please."

    "Please what?" James's anger was sudden and unexpected. "Please hold me closer, James? Please kiss me? Please love me? Those are all the things I've wanted to hear for a long time."

    "No, James. I… I'm not ready."

    "Don't say no, Allie." The anger suddenly vanishing from his voice, James caressed her shoulder with familiar gentleness. "You'll never be ready if you keep chasing me away. Is it really so distasteful to be in my arms?"

    Allie swallowed, mesmerized by the intensity mixed with pain in James's shadowed face. She did not want to be responsible for the anguish she saw there.

    "No, James. It isn't distasteful. I like being with you. I like talking with you, and I like dancing with you if you aren't making me dizzy. I like it when you put your arm around me and smile, but…"

    "But kissing you is another matter."

    James's stiff lips curved into a patient smile. "You're not used to kissing me, Allie, that's all. But you'll grow to like it as much as I do." Lowering his head unexpectedly, James brushed her lips with his.

    "Was that so bad?"

    "James"

    "How about this?" James touched his mouth to hers once more, his kiss lingering. "Answer me, Allie."

    Allie avoided his eyes.

    "It… it was pleasant, James."

    The brief silence that followed was broken by James's coaxing whisper. "Allie, look at me. Come on, look at me."

    The plea in his voice more than she could bear. Allie met his gaze. The love so openly displayed in his familiar face choked her with regret.

    "Allie, this is all so new to you. You aren't accustomed to having a man show how much he wants you. And I do want you, darling. I want you more than I've ever wanted anyone or anything in my life."

    His tenderness touching a spot deep inside her, Allie did not resist when James drew her closer. She closed her eyes as his lips touched her temple, her cheek, the corner of her mouth.

    "You don't feel the same way about me. I know that. I know your loyalty to Marsh stands in my way right now, and although I can't understand that, I can accept it because it's only a temporary impediment. But I want to declare myself to you tonight, Allie. I want to tell you that I love you, that I've loved you since the day you came out of that chicken coop all scratched and bleeding and I slid my fingers into your hair to find the wounds there. You were such a brave little girl, with so much love inside you.