Wished Away: A Broken Fairy Tale (13 page)

Gage’s smile fades. “Maybe he’s just waiting for the right one to give him a reason to settle down. I thought you were it since he hasn’t been hooking up with anyone when we go out lately.”

When I feel jealousy inch though me, I can’t figure out why. “Well, he was out with someone tonight.” I take another sip of my coffee and look back over at Gage who is eyeing me curiously. I can feel the warmth permeating from his eyes. “And I have no doubt she will still be with him in the morning.”

“You’re probably right,” he says taking a bite of his salad while he examines me with a playful smile.

I stab at my cake and mimic his actions challenging him. “I’m always right.” My mouth full of delicious chocolate cake, I look at his healthy salad and grimace. “So, is it in your contract that you have to eat healthy?” I ask, trying to change the subject to something lighter.

He smiles again, and I think my heart may have skipped a beat with the way his face relaxes at my question. “Very funny. Did you see my choices? This was my safest choice since you took the last piece of cake.”

I look down at the delicious chocolate cake on my plate and smile up at him innocently. “That I did. I tend to make really good choices.” I can’t believe I’m flirting this way when I wink up at him, and can only attribute it to exhaustion.

My heart begins racing again when he leans in next to me and stabs his fork at the left over crumbs. I slap at his hand playfully telling him to step off and we begin bumping into each other, giggling like school children.

His full lips come down over the cake, and my eyes are drawn to the way he slowly pulls the fork out of his mouth and licks his lips. I feel myself again mimic his action, and when I look up at him, his face holds the same questioning expression that he had at the fundraiser.

“Can I buy you coffee sometime?” he says, out of the blue. I can do nothing but stare at him, because a voice in my head is screaming at me to say yes, but my heart is collapsing at the thought of why I could accept his offer. Before I can answer, he reaches over and takes my hand in his and my insides are set on fire. “Just friends getting coffee. I like talking to you, and I’d like to get to know you better.” He pulls his hand away and I can’t help but wish he didn’t.

I look up at his sincere eyes. “Friends getting coffee?” I smile when he taps the tip of my nose just like Dave used to and nods yes. “That sounds nice.”

He sits back in his chair seeming much more relaxed and I begin to feel the same. We’ve seen each other here and there since the fundraiser, but there’s always an underlying tension, probably because we both know everyone in the room is most likely whispering about our sad lives. It wasn’t that long ago when I was one of those people when I saw him alone at the Old Mill Inn on my last night with Dave.

Before my thoughts can sink back down into the black hole of depression that swallows me far too often, my phone begins playing “Roar” by Katie Perry and I jump out of my seat, fumbling with the buttons to read the message. “It’s Cam. She’s getting ready to push. I have to go.”

Gage stands and taps my nose again. “How about Monday? Is 10 a.m. alright?” I look at him totally confused and overwhelmed with the swarm of emotions I’m feeling right now. He just laughs and shakes his head, and casually puts his arm around my shoulders leading me out of the cafeteria having no idea the effect that this one action is having over me. “For coffee.”

Once we’re through the doors I break free of his touch that is far too comfortable and make some distance between us. “Oh, right. Monday’s great.”

He puts his hands in the pockets of his coat and looks unbelievably delectable when a shy smile crosses his face. It’s the same smile he gave me from across the room at the fundraiser that had my head spinning, and only now, it makes me hope for a moment that our coffee get together is a date. “I’ll pick you up at 10 sharp then.” His shyness turns to confidence and I melt a little more. “I’ll try and stop in and check on Cam and Holden later. Wish them my best.” He’s gone before I can give him my number, and I turn to go be at Cam’s side trying not to feel guilty at the excitement I feel at the thought of spending more time with Gage.

Jess

W
hy is there never enough wine in the house when you really need it? I slam through the cabinets pissed that I forgot to get some more when I was out today. One bottle will not be enough to numb me and help me forget that today was Dave and my wedding anniversary. Dave’s parents begged to have Charlotte tonight because they wanted something to take their mind off the same thing I’m trying to forget. I agreed, deciding that wallowing in my sorrow alone will be much easier than trying to pretend in front of Charlotte. Unknowingly, Cam and Holden sent me to the edge of sadness when they told me they’ve decided to name their son after Dave, and instead of being honored and touched, I only feel sadness. Cam and Holden thankfully call their son by his initials, DJ, because every time I hear Dave’s name, the hole in my heart begins to pulse with sorrow. I usually can count on Joey to be here for me on a day like today, but with all of the excitement over baby DJ’s birth, they all seem to have forgotten about what today is. Everyone but me.

I hear a knock on my door, but before I can answer it, Kat is letting herself in holding up a bottle of wine. She looks way too hot with her long black hair hanging in loose curls over her shoulders. She’s dressed in fitted blue jeans and a white shirt that hugs her perfect figure far too well. Here I am, standing in my doorway wearing sweats and my hair tied up in a messy ponytail. A ponytail held up by a scrunchy might I add.

Her bright smile turns to a look of disgust. “You look like crap, Jess.”

I roll my eyes and chuck a pillow from the couch at her. “Screw you! You look like you’re ready to hit up Seaside.” I lie, but smile back at her, and am instantly glad she’s here to pull me out of my sadness. When she comes to sit by me, I grab the wine out of her hand. “But you’re forgiven since you brought wine.”

Kat walks past me into my kitchen pulling out two wine glasses. “We’re getting out of this house tonight and going to Dukes.” Before I can rip into her, she holds her hand up to me. “Don’t even start Jessica. We’re not having this discussion tonight. The only thing we’re doing is getting you good and toasty and dancing until our feet bleed. Got it?”

“I’m all for getting drunk and dancing, but I don’t want to go out. I don’t want to have to deal with douche bags tonight. Let’s just stay here.”

“Oh, you’re going out tonight. Dancing always makes you happy and you know it. You’re going to flirt your ass off and we’re going to do things we regret tomorrow.” She pours almost half the bottle into my large wine glass, hands it to me, and walks out of the kitchen. “Now get your butt upstairs and let’s make you presentable.”

I take a large gulp of my drink knowing there’ll be no arguing with her right now. All I can do is hope I can fake it through the night and get back home to think of only Dave.

We finish a bottle of wine before leaving and an hour into the night I’m feeling no pain. I have to admit, Kat was right, dancing does always make me feel better, and flirting with douche bags is even fun because I’m not plagued with the guilty feelings I have when I think of other men. Well, mainly Gage. Ever since he asked me to coffee, I find myself day dreaming about the conflict that’s always written all over his face and wish there was something I could do to erase it. Then all I do is find myself feeling guilty, like I’m betraying Dave, or at least belittling what we had by thinking of another man less than two years after he died.

Kat and I shoot back a lemon drop when the familiar thumping of “Summertime Sadness” by Lana Del Ray begins and I instantly begin bouncing up and down to the hypnotic beat. I run
to this song every day and always find myself dancing down the street when it comes on. I’m glad now, that Kat talked me into wearing a tank top with my jeans instead of the button up silk shirt I had on when the heat of the small space hits me. I lift my long hair up off my shoulders when the music slows a bit in the middle and begin swaying back and forth with a smile plastered on my face, closing my eyes trying to feel the music. It feels so good to
feel
something other than sadness.

When hands slide around my waist from behind, I lean back into them instead of pulling away when they grip lightly at the belt buckles of my dark blue jeans. The effects of the lemon drop has clearly already washed over me and my inhibitions are down as I let the music lead my body to move in electrifying unison with the muscular body behind me.

“A woman who looks as good as you do, shouldn’t have to dance alone.” I close my eyes and take in a deep breath trying to calm my racing heart when I recognize the familiar deep raspy voice.

I now notice Joey and a few other of his friends are dancing with Kat having no idea of the effect that Gage is having on me right now. He spins me and pulls me close looking at me like he’s about to eat me alive, and I would welcome it right now. He always seems so reserved to me, but being here with him like this, looking at me this way, is about the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen in my life, and he seems anything but reserved. My skin begins to get tiny bumps of excitement when he runs his hand down my arm and clenches my waist, letting out a stifled groan when I bite at my bottom lip. I’ve never wanted a song to last longer more than I do right now, because when it ends and the others approach, he removes his hands from my waist and creates distance between us that I don’t want. My eyes are drawn back up to his when he moves away and I truly see him, and holy hell, if he doesn’t look drop-dead-hot! Dressed in dark jeans and a fitted grey shirt, his muscular body is on perfect display. For the first time, I notice he has a sleeve tattoo that stops at his elbow. I trace my fingers along the Celtic knot design that is filled with words of survival and strength. Knowing that this has been hiding all this time under the formal attire and medical jacket he’s always be wearing when we see each other, makes me hot all over. I hear his rumble of a laugh and look back up at him, noticing his shorter hair is in perfect disarray and I can’t quite tell if it’s on purpose or not, but all I want to do is run my fingers through it. There’s a mischievous look in his eyes when he notices me checking him out and it almost makes me throw myself at him right in the middle of the dance floor.

Joey’s seemingly oblivious to my reaction to Gage and leans in and gives me a kiss on my cheek. “Hey, sweetheart. How’s my favorite girl?”

“What are you doing here?” I look over to Kat who’s laughing with one of Joey’s friends, unaware of my surprise to all of them being here.

“Kat told me you guys were coming here and we decided to come and join you. Thank God I got here when I did. The dudes here were circling you two like sharks.” Joey pulls me closer when the next song starts to pick up pace and begins dancing to the music, unaware of the fact that I haven’t stopped looking at Gage.

When Gage turns away and walks to the bar with one of Joey’s friend’s, I can’t ignore the flutter of jealousy I get when a group of girls approach them and begin flirting shamelessly. One is laughing and leaning into Gage, drawing her hand down his chest, and the fluttering butterflies are now having a fierce battle inside me. I try to put my attention back on Joey and remember that it doesn’t matter what Gage does, but I just can’t seem to keep my eyes off of him. When the song ends and the music changes to something new again, I watch Gage approach us, and see a smile appear at the corner of his mouth like he knows the thoughts that have been going through my mind. I’m surprised when he taps Joey on the shoulder. “I’m going to have to cut in now.” He doesn’t ask Joey, he tells him, and for some reason that makes my insides burn with desire.

He places his hand on the small of my back sweeping the bare skin that’s peeking out and all I can do is pray he doesn’t notice the way my knees almost buckle. “A Sky Full of Stars” by Coldplay begins playing and he takes my hand in his, pulling it to his chest, causing me to sling my arm around his waist in response. As the beat picks up, he moves his body in perfect rhythm to the song making me wonder if everything he does feels as good as his body against mine does. He looks down at me singing along with a giant smile and I smile back in return. This is the most at ease we’ve ever been together, and I like it. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen him give a full dimpled smile like he is at me right now, and it’s doing things to me that I can’t explain.