Wishful Thinking (14 page)

“Why do I have to go to Maeve’s tomorrow?” Ben asked, dragging his eyes away from the window as the car turned into the road. “I’d rather stay at Chris’s house. He’s got proper trees in his garden.”

Jess could swear she actually felt Christian’s body
preening
at those words, as he shifted position beside her.

“Ben, we’ve been through this. You have to go because Maeve is expecting you and I don’t want to let her down.” Jess said through tight lips.

“But you could telephone her…or Chris could.”

Sandwiched between her two adversaries, Jess had nowhere to avert her gaze from their inquisitive looks and so stared straight ahead for a while in silence, until Ben started nudging her for a response. She took a deep breath, glanced reproachfully at Christian and turned to Ben. “The problem is, Ben that people like their routines. If you start changing them, they get upset and then they might not want…” her voice trailed off.
Might not want what? Your happiness? To share your joy when something wonderful like this happened? To have their routines altered at short notice because you had walked into a fairy-tale?
She was sure Maeve would not begrudge her any of that.

Ben looked at her, waiting patiently for her explanation. She glanced at Christian who just looked nonchalantly out of the window, his lips pursed as if whistling silently.
He’s pretending not to listen and trying not to laugh! What’s my problem anyway? Of course Maeve won’t mind – it’s not as if I don’t pay her the going rate. It’s Ben’s school holiday – it should be special for him. But…

“It’s a bit complicated, Ben. I just don’t like inconveniencing Maeve because she’s been very good to us. And you do enjoy going there, don’t you?”

“Yes but her house is small, even if it
is
a proper house. I like Chris’s house better.” Ben explained.

“Look Ben! Look at the fog on the river – doesn’t it look…spooky?” Jess said rather desperately hoping to distract her son. Evening was descending quickly and a chill mist clung to the surface of The Thames as they drove along the embankment towards the first bridge on their journey.

Twenty minutes later, they entered Jess’s flat, to be greeted by a blast of icy air. Christian had insisted on helping carrying their bags upstairs. He shivered loudly as he entered the narrow hallway.

“Let’s get the heating on, it’s freezing in here!” He said, looking around him.

Jess stared in dismay at the storage radiator beneath her hand. “I can’t turn it on. Something must have happened to the electricity last night.”

“No turn it on? What do you mean?”

“I can’t operate it. It’s on a different tariff – it only comes on overnight, which is when it stores up the heat and then releases it during the day,” she explained. “There must have been a power-cut or something during the night. I’ll need to report it tomorrow if it doesn’t come on tonight.”

He looked incredulous. “And you have no control over your own heating?” He glanced at his watch. “What time does it come on?”

Jess shrugged. “About midnight, I think.” She tried to ignore his appalled expression and busied herself with the bags. Ben stood like a little statue in the hallway, shivering and turning blue about the lips. “Come on, Ben. Move it! You’ll soon warm up when you start moving around.”

“Right – that’s it!” Christian said in a tone that would brook no argument. “Get your things together; you’re coming back with me.”

“No!” Jess protested, but she knew already she was wasting her breath. Christian simply ignored her.

“Come on, buddy, I’ll help you pack while your mummy gets her own stuff together. I’m sure you’ll know what you need for the next few days. If not, don’t worry. I’m pretty good in that department. You,” he turned to Jess. “Go pack!”

12

It was fate, Christian thought to himself. It had played right into his hands. There was no way he was going to let Jess and Ben stay in that igloo for even an hour, much less overnight. He’d been working on a plan of action to convince her to return ever since they’d left and inwardly cheered as Ben took up the cause on his behalf during the journey into London. The boy had tried his best, but Jess refused to budge from her standpoint, which to him sounded completely irrational. He owed it to her not to pressure her in front of Ben, however, and had to remain silent.

But entering that cold, little flat had shocked him into action. He was appalled to think that people still lived in conditions like that. He hadn’t noticed it previously as the place had seemed warm enough and glowing with festive decorations – Jess, no doubt for Ben’s benefit, had transformed every room into a Christmas wonderland which seemed to add warmth. But as the cold pierced his bones, he began to look around him more carefully.

The place was furnished as tastefully as limited financial resources would allow. Ben’s toys were in evidence everywhere, but these were not expensive ones and there were no luxuries to be seen anywhere. The furnishings and furniture were attractive but cheap and basic and the majority had probably arrived flat-packed. He wondered briefly whether Jess had put them together herself, or had received help from boyfriends, perhaps, or friendly neighbours. He didn’t doubt that Jess had armies of DIY experts all willing to demonstrate their prowess to her. She was, after all, stunningly beautiful – the more he saw her, the more he realised that. And to think he had once thought her fairly ordinary! Other men would just have to take one look at her and…He pushed the thought aside. He needed to focus on getting her and Ben out of here as quickly as possible, before she had any opportunity to change her mind.

While Ben piled up heaps of clothes and toys onto his bed, as if he were planning a permanent move, Christian quickly called George to explain the delay and enlist his help. As he was talking to him, he heard a light knock on the door and heard Jess go out to answer it. It was one of her neighbours explaining about the power situation. Apparently it had knocked out the entire building for several hours overnight, but while one half had regained power, the other half had not, until the following morning, hence the storage heaters had not come on overnight. She offered Jess the loan of a portable electric heater. That was not what he wanted to hear.

He finished quickly with George, indicated to Ben to carry on and stepped out of Ben’s room into the narrow hallway, behind Jess. “I’ve just called George to…Oh! I’m sorry, please excuse me. Hello.” He flashed his best and most well-rehearsed smile at the neighbour.

Jess half-turned to him, but the talkative woman in the doorway let out a hysterical shriek, causing Jess to spin back around.

“
Oh my God!
Oh my God!
You’re…are you?
Is
he, Jess? Is that Christian Goodchild?”

It was exactly the distraction Christian had hoped to achieve, for once. He urged Jess back to her room to continue packing and chatted pleasantly to the woman in the doorway until reinforcement, in the guise of George arrived. After that it took no time at all before Jess and Ben were once again in the car and on their way back to Surrey.

Even more fortuitously, the nurse, Jacqui, met them at the door. She looked relieved to see them.

“I was worried I wouldn’t be able to say goodbye to you all properly.”

“Why are you leaving?” Christian asked as Ben tried to hug her, but could only reach just above her knees. She lowered her tall frame to him to be able to look him in the face.

“You can’t go, Nurse Jacqui – we’ve come back!” Ben told her.

“But I have to,” she told Ben before straightening up and facing Christian. “Miss Rayne has gone to her own place in…Canary Wharf, is it? Anyway she took Heather with her, but she really doesn’t need two nurses. So I called my agency and they found me another booking for tomorrow.”

“Amber’s gone?” Christian echoed. “Well that’s fine –
she
may not need you, but
we
do. We have a convalescing soldier here and we need to make sure he’s fit and well for active service next week. If you’re happy to stay, I’ll call your agency – and I’ll double your fee.”

****

When Jess awoke the following morning, languishing in the luxury and warmth of her surroundings, it was her turn to feel as if she had somehow found her way to heaven – and what a heaven! She looked at the sleeping Christian and felt a sense of awe that bordered on something almost religious at the sight of his lovely face. This is a dream, she told herself. Their lovemaking last night had far surpassed the night before and her entire body tingled at the memory as she lay there basking in the comfort of his sensuous warmth.

Christian was the most exquisitely tender and thoughtful lover imaginable. He made her feel like a princess – no, a goddess. He made her feel worshipped! But he made her feel fearful, too. Fearful that something would happen to whip away all this new-found happiness in an instant – in fact, like waking up suddenly and finding it was indeed all a dream.

Jess had had dreams like that, once or twice. Strange, haunting dreams in which she was almost divinely beautiful and adored by many, but by one in particular. He was no one she knew of, no one she could identify in reality, but she knew he was someone exquisitely special and that her existence meant nothing without him. Heads turned wherever she walked but one head in particular was the only one she cared about and his nearness all that mattered. And he loved her inexpressibly. She would wake up from that dream haunted by the tantalisingly tiny fragments but never able to piece them together to identify the mysterious but so perfect figure who loved her above all else.

It would be easy to convince herself now that it had been Christian in her dream – and just as easy to believe that in a flash – just like waking from her dream and realising its lack of substance - everything she had enjoyed could be whipped away from her in an instant and her new-found happiness destroyed.

She was not disappointed to hear that Amber had left – had begun to wonder if she actually lived here with Christian – but she could tell Christian had mixed emotions about her departure. He seemed to be relieved, but he was clearly still concerned about her and needed to know she was alright. His caring side was a good thing, of course, but it made her uneasy, nevertheless. Amber came between them, whether Christian acknowledged that or not.

She glanced at her watch, released a gentle sigh and slipped silently out of the bed. She had to go to work and was still unsure about how to get there. Christian said George would drive her, but she worried about inconveniencing him. Christian had also promised to have her car brought down here today. That would mean she could at least drive herself to the nearest station, wherever that was.

In the kitchen, she encountered Jacqui making breakfast for herself. She poured coffee out for Jess and they discussed Ben’s routine briefly. Jess didn’t have to repeat herself once and had to admire Jacqui’s expertise and efficiency. She imagined what it must be like to be in a position to hire professionals like Jacqui to take care of things whenever necessary. She’d called Maeve last night and amid the background noises and shrieks from her young children wondered, not for the first time, whether Maeve ever heard more than a quarter of what she said to her.

She went back upstairs to take a cup of coffee in to Christian, in case he was awake, which he wasn’t and to kiss her sleeping son goodbye before leaving the house. George was waiting for her.

“Just drop me off at the nearest station and I’ll get the train in,” Jess told him, embarrassed that he’d had to rise early on her account.

“Oh, you wouldn’t want to risk it. Worst train service in the country down here. Chances are you’ll get half way to town and then sit for an hour somewhere outside Clapham Junction because someone forgot to brush the leaves off the line, or someone inconsiderately decided to jump on it.” George told her. “Besides, I enjoy driving – especially this little baby. It’s no hardship to me at all.”

And so Jess succumbed to the luxury of her chauffeured commute and arrived surprisingly early at the office. She had expected congested roads, bad-tempered drivers and having to abandon the car and walk the last half mile, but her journey was nothing of the sort.

“Now let’s just make sure you’ve got my number in your phone,” George said. “Just in case there are any mix-ups later on; and use the code name we gave you yesterday so I’m a hundred per cent sure it’s you. Don’t worry, you’ll get used to it,” he added, seeing her frown. “Fans try all sorts of things on, but not much gets past me.” And with a wink and a wave, he was off.

Melissa was already in her office and busy on the telephone. As soon as she had finished, she put her head around the door and beckoned Jess inside.

“You know Christian Goodchild?”

Jess couldn’t be certain if it was a question or an accusation.

“Why on earth didn’t you tell me he’d authorised you to ghost-write his auto? That was his manager on the phone. They’re coming in for a meeting later to discuss publication details
. They’re
coming to
us!
Do you know there isn’t a publishing house in London that wouldn’t want to get their hands on this little pearl? I’d better call Sir Trevor and bring him in on it. Oh, and we’ll need one of our legal people up here. Jess, do you know what this could mean for us all?” Melissa was so ecstatic, she forgot to notice that for once, Jess had not brought her in any coffee.