Wishing on a Blue Star (10 page)

“Oh, my fucking… Crash.” Kip sat upright and pushed Crash onto his back. He climbed between his legs, his cock hard and throbbing. It felt delicious pressed against the still damp skin of Crash’s groin. He shuddered and rocked his hips, driving his cock against Crash, giving in to his desire to grind. Something tender and a little protective flared to life inside Kip. “I love being your first.”

Crash wrapped his arms around Kip. “First. Last. Always. The alpha and omega.” He seemed to find that funny.

“I want…” Kip couldn’t finish that sentence.

Crash shifted under him a little. “You want… to fuck me?”

“Yes.” Kip didn’t know how he withstood Crash’s frank gaze but he did.

“All right.” Crash appeared to be waiting for him to make the first move, which, considering that between them Kip was the one with experience, should have been easy. He hesitated. “It’s all right. I’m not experienced but I’m not… ignorant.”

“I need…” Kip got up to get condoms and lube from a shoebox on top of the television tray he used as a nightstand. “Maybe you should roll over? It’s easier that way for the first time.”

“Maybe you should just assume I won’t do this at all unless I can look into your eyes,” Crash’s own eyes seemed to sparkle. “I’m certainly not getting down on all fours like an animal when I could be facing the man I love.”

Kip dropped back on his heels and sighed. “You say shit like that and it makes me feel stupid. Why didn’t you say something? How come I never knew?”

“You’ve always known.” Crash’s smile faded a little. “You have. If you think about it.”

Kip thought about all the adventures they’d had: the lovely, lazy school days and stargazing of childhood, the tough emotional excesses of adolescence, the insecurity of making their way into college and choosing their individual academic paths. Through school and fast cars and first love, Crash shadowed him, solid and loyal, unquestionably
his
, through everything.

“You’re the one person who has never let me down,” Kip said finally, awed by it, as if he’d never given it serious consideration. Maybe he hadn’t.

“I never will.”

Kip heard the truth of those words and believed it with his whole heart.

He took his place between Crash’s legs again, and this time, he had no words. He uncapped the lube, and began by stroking Crash’s cock back to life, pleased at the soft gasping sounds that emerged when he did it, but not really, entirely, certain from whose mouth they came.

He found it fascinating to watch the minute changes flow over Crash’s face as Kip’s hand traveled from his cock to his balls, down further, to the delicate skin of his entrance. When he pressed a thoroughly lubed finger into the tight channel, a flush deepened over Crash’s creamy skin, rising from his chest to his neck and filling his cheeks. Kip got gooseflesh from the sight as he watched, entranced.

Crash’s lips parted on a groan and stayed slack. Kip dared another finger along with the first. Crash’s breathing quickened.

“Kip.” He panted, his voice barely audible. Crash drew his knees up to give him access. Kip tried to find Crash’s sweet spot, curving his fingers upward until he found the spongy mass and brushed it, watching wonder unfold on Crash’s face as the jolt of sensation shot through his body. “
Kip
!”

Kip tore open a condom and rolled it easily down his shaft. He pumped its length a time or two, unnecessarily, because he’d never been this hard before, like granite. He knew he’d die— or kill—if anything stopped what he planned next but forced himself to ask, “Are you sure?”

Crash leveled a look of such trust at him that it took his breath away. “Yes. I’m sure.”

Kip carefully pressed forward. Crash bit his lip and sweat beaded his brow, but he remained silent. He wrapped his hands around Kip’s hips, and when Kip might have slowed, he used pressure to indicate it was all right to keep going.

“Kip?” Crash spoke on an indrawn breath. Kip didn’t hear him breathing for a few seconds and grew concerned.

“Take a breath.” Kip kissed away the frown on Crash’s face. “You need to breathe and try to relax if you can.”

Crash drew a shuddering breath in, and huffed it out just as quickly. “Kip.”

Kip started to pull back “Look, we don’t need to—”

“No.” Crash held him where he was. “Don’t go. I want this. I want you. Please.”

Kip met Crash’s frank blue eyes.  “It hurts at first. I’m… I’m scared you won’t like it.”

Crash shifted his hips and Kip slid deeper inside his hot, tight channel. He was nearly balls deep in his best friend.
Holy...

“Don’t stop,” Crash implored. He writhed again and Kip twitched the rest of the way in. They were connected in the most intimate way for a full minute before Kip came to his senses and his body begged him to move. He fought the urge to flex his hips and fuck Crash hard. His muscles trembled as he forced himself to hold back. Crash squirmed minutely, pulling away from the cock in his ass, then back again to get it deeper, and Kip thought it might be all right to begin….

“Keep breathing,” Kip said, even as he pulled out, just a little, and thrust back in.

Crash lit up a little, emitting a tiny startled “Oh.” Dazed eyes met Kip’s and he whispered. “
Oh
. Do that again.”

Kip complied, this time, dragging it out a little, changing his angle slightly as he watched Crash’s head drop back on the most exquisitely erotic sigh he’d ever heard. After that, he gave in to his need and fucked Crash like a machine, losing himself in the rhythm of it. They rose and fell like music, especially Crash, whose every sigh was lyrically beautiful and whose voice sent shivers and warmth throughout Kip’s body.

Absurdly, Kip imagined that very sound, their intimate music, was a liquid fire that flowed throughout his body and back into Crash where they were joined, even as Crash received it from him and returned it. That they drank from a vast invisible fountain of flames that scorched and purified and burned them both to ash.

Crash locked his ankles behind Kip’s back, then wrapped his arms around him and clung. Kip lowered his head to join him in a passionate kiss. He continued to snap his hips forward and drag back; push… pull… until Crash jerked in his arms and hot come spattered between them.

Kip groaned as Crash’s body clenched around him, arms and legs and ass spasming and squeezing him, until the first chilling buzz in his balls signaled his own slide into the breathless chaos of release.

There was nothing like it, ever.

Kip slid over the edge with nothing to stop his fall; only a hot, breathless, equally confused body to cling to as the ground fell out beneath them. “
Crash
.” He fought to drag in air. “Crash.
Shit
.”

Kip’s skin, damp and mixed with come on Crash’s belly stuck as he withdrew carefully from Crash. He rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling. The first ominous misgivings were beginning to hit him.
What if everything changed? What if they didn’t? What if Crash regretted making love? What if he didn’t enjoy it? What if—

“Don’t you dare fucking start.” Crash dropped his feet to the floor on the opposite side of the bed and padded into the bathroom.

Kip pondered what he was certain was only the third f-bomb of Crash’s life until Crash emerged from the bathroom minutes later with a damp towel. He used it to clean Kip’s skin, but not before he bent to taste his own essence, licking a trail from Crash’s naval to his pubic hair.

“Kipling Rush you’re beautiful.”

Kip saw that flush on his cheeks again and realized it was a ruse. Crash was still shy about what they’d done. “Regrets?”

“Not even one.” Crash threw the towel aside and curled up next to him. He drew Kip’s arm around him, forcing him to spoon up, even as he began to drift off to sleep.

“Me neither.” Kip kissed the back of his neck, nuzzling in to fill himself with the Crash’s scent, which was like cookies now, with some deeper, more intoxicating note, like hearty dark red wine or port maybe. “You smell delicious.”

“You too,” Crash murmured sleepily. “Like heaven and earth and all good things. Did you know the stars smell like raspberry?”

Kip smiled at that. “Crash, I never imagined…”

“Neither did I.” Crash sighed. “I should have though. I thought I’d foreseen everything. This proves you still have the power to surprise me. I love you Kip. More than any human words can say.”

“Use inhuman words.”

Crash snorted. “As if.”

Crash began to hum again, that deeply resonant, otherworldly sound that every cell in Kip’s body responded to. It wasn’t loud, or even powerful music, just something haunting and lovely, something so simple it seemed to get under his skin and merge with his blood. Kip’s breathing, his heart rate, his very
essence
ebbed and flowed with the sound of Crash’s voice, until at last, Kip tightened his arms around Crash and drifted off to sleep.

Did I regret? How could I? Regret seems to me as useless and foolish an invention as any that humans have ever conceived. Only those things we do and the choices we make exist. You were my choice, and I make it over again with every breath I take.

If there is anything bitter in the sweet, it is only knowing that you never see me— truly comprehend me—as I am. Vanity is not a trait exclusive to humans after all. There will come a day, too soon, when you will perceive me in my truest form, for I will no longer need the guise in which I come to you. Will I frighten you? Will you believe what I say and trust me one last, desperate time?

Kip woke with a strangled gasp, his entire body covered with sweat. He turned to find Crash sleeping beside him peacefully, his large square hand tucked under his cheek. As always he was still as stars. At thirty-two, Crash remained inhumanely perfect. If anything he’d gotten more exquisite. A seeming impossibility, as if he’d shattered all physical law to lie there beside Kip,
sleeping beauty
, so gorgeous still it made Kip’s throat hurt.

In fact, that very thing had probably inspired the terrible dream Kip had, the one that crushed his chest with fear and caused him to wake with a start. Kip’s head dropped back onto the pillow while he waited for his heart to calm and his breathing to return to normal.

Shit.

In his dream he’d been a boy of ten again, falling through the earth, only it wasn’t Crash who waited for him there but something… unimaginable. Something ancient and powerful. Thrilling and terrible, terrifying and intriguing at the same time.

That something had thickly muscled legs that ended in huge feet, like an ancient statue. It was living stone perfection that pulsed with light. His gaze traveled upward and fell on thighs like the trunks of healthy trees. The figure stood at an angle, nearly in profile, so Kip got an eyeful of sculpted abs, glutes like softly rounded boulders, the impossible curve of an immensely strong spine, powerful shoulders and wings.

When that awesome, terrifying vision reached for him, the creature’s wings groaned as they unfurled, the sound loud and resonant. Leathery skin and feathers stretched over bone, over sinew and muscle that pushed outward into a space that was too small to contain them.

Kip drew in his breath, aware in his dream— as he would never have been at that age in real life— that the creature’s naked perfection owed everything to its masculine beauty. From his thick square toes to his chiseled face, from his beautiful alabaster cock to the way the eye was drawn to it by trails of pale hair in the center of a lean abdomen surrounded by a well-defined iliac furrow, an Adonis belt, truly worthy of the name, he was everything male. A god compared to mortal men.

When Kip could tear his eyes away from his first dry-mouthed glimpse of the forbidden perfection of the creature’s genitals, he found himself gazing at a face of such radiance, such divine beauty that it took his breath away. The creature shimmered before him, so bright in the darkness of the sinkhole that it hurt his eyes to look at him, but he couldn’t tear his gaze away.

When he found his wits, he realized the creature’s very energy throbbed with song, rich and perfectly familiar. As if somewhere within himself, Kip had the very same song buried deep inside his DNA, and he’d been waiting all his life for someone else to sing it.

“
Who are you
?” It burned Kip’s eyes to look at the creature, but he couldn’t look away.

“I am
yours
, Kipling Rush.” The creature held his hand out, and Kip could no more fail to take it than he could have refused to draw his next breath. He placed his small hand into the creature’s and flames shot up around them, momentarily excruciating, terrifying,
agonizing
flames that reduced them both to ash. He’d shot up fully awake then, to find his nice safe life, his Crash, sleeping beside him.

“
Shit
,” Kip hissed, his hands shaking as he reached for a glass of water. Beside him, Crash shifted—as always— to draw him near.

“Hm?”

“Bad dream,” Kip allowed himself to be folded into the comfort of a warm embrace.

“Mm.” Crash’s arms tightened. “Sleep for a while longer. We have don’t to be at the airport until noon.”

“I know.” Kip gazed off into space as Crash hummed against his skin, the sound both familiar and frightening.

The song from his dream
.

Kip closed his eyes and felt the music wash over him as he drifted back to sleep.

* * * *

“Do you have any bags to check Dr. Rush?” The man behind the counter looked up from his ticket.

“No, thank you.” He patted his carry-on sized pilot case. Crash had his own carryon and the laptop case he insisted on carrying for Kip. They got their boarding passes and made their way to the TSA security check-in.

As always, every eye found Crash, from babies to octegenarians, from polite interest to naked lust, Crash could barely walk through a building without generating a ripple of enthusiasm wherever he went. It only got worse as he matured. Crash had grown into himself, Kip thought, looking at him. It had taken lots of practice for him to learn to wield all that charisma and caring. From his work for an international not-for-profit that focused its efforts on protecting the health and well-being of children worldwide, to his most recent project, establishing an-award winning choir at the local senior citizen’s outreach center, he’d found his place in the world, and not just the one he’d carved out for himself at Kip’s side.