Wishing on the Water (Water Series Book 1) (8 page)

Some mornings I really did miss writing my novels. The characters liked to scream out in my head that they needed to be heard, but I still had nothing to say. I missed creating those characters that knew what they were doing with their lives and every one lived happily ever after, but that was the past and it needed to stay behind me. I needed to focus and move forward.

I checked myself in the mirror and flattened my hands over my skirt to make sure it was straight. I grabbed my purse off the nightstand that sat across from my four post mahogany bed. I turned out the light and headed to the kitchen.

“
Andrew, you should just move in and be my personal chef.” I uttered with a groan, as the now sweetened smell was mixed with a hint of cinnamon. I heard laughter as I entered the kitchen.

“
Darling girl, you could not afford to keep me!”

I smiled at the intended joke, even if I did not really follow it. I grabbed the cup that held Tim Horton’s coffee. There were no Tim Horton’s where we lived, as the majority of them are housed in the north, but after living in New York all those years it was the one addiction I missed the most. I still had the noise and traffic by living near a large city, but the coffee was the one thing I had every morning with Chase and Jax. My stomach was the only part of me that I would allow to miss home.

I closed my eyes and poured it into my mouth. I savored the flavor. Andrew’s parents lived in Buffalo, New York and shipped him the Tim Horton’s coffee grounds weekly. I think he had enough coffee grounds to live off coffee the rest of our days and then some.

I opened the front door of my house and walked down the one step to the short pathway to the mailbox. I grabbed the newspapers out of their containers and brought them inside. I put the Los Angeles Times where Andrew always sat and I sat at my table and opened the New York Times. I was beginning to read it when I heard a throat clear. Looking up from the paper I smiled when I saw Andrew holding two plates.

“
My darling girl, why do you read east coast news when you live on the west coast?”

Andrew then sat the plate down in front of me before I could answer. The strawberry and banana stuffed French toast was topped with fresh cut fruit. The scrambled eggs had little bits of bacon cooked inside. It was all delicious looking as I reached for the extra bacon strips that Andrew had sat on the side. This man could be a dream for whatever woman nabbed him.

“
Mmmm this is delicious.” I uttered with my mouth full of bacon. The common courtesy of not talking with your mouth full went out the window when the food melted in your mouth. My taste buds danced with excitement with each next bite. I would gain a thousand pounds if Andrew cooked all my food.

My phone chimed with a reminder that it was nearly 6am. The rest of the car-pool would be here soon. I shoveled as much food into my mouth as I could and grabbed my paper to get my fix. Andrew sat across from me reading his Los Angeles Times. It was all very domesticated. I still did not understand why people did not love their bosses.

At 6:15am my doorbell rang and Andrew leaped into action to answer it. Emily was a beautiful blond with legs up to her chest. She had that innocent look about her. She did not have to work, as her parents owned a candy company, but she desperately wanted to prove she did not need things handed to her. I admired that about her.

“
Hi, Emily. How are you this morning?” I asked, offering orange juice by waving my hand toward the kitchen table, where Andrew had placed freshly squeezed orange juice on the table.

“
It is morning.” Emily replied, with Andrew laughing as a response.

“
My two best employees are polar opposites. One is a morning person and indulges me with sharing breakfast, while the other parties all night and graces me with a grumpy face until lunch.” He shook his head as he went to grab his keys.

“
Where is Brent?” I asked, as he was usually the first one to arrive.

“
He is driving in today; he has to get his car fixed during lunch and the mechanic is three blocks from the office,” Andrew replied clearing all the dishes and loading the dishwasher. Emily was pouring a cup of orange juice into one of my travel mugs. I grabbed my phone and placed it in my purse, double checking that I had my keys and ID inside as well. I saw that Chase’s letter had crinkled inside so I pulled it out and folded it and placed it back inside the zipper portion inside my black Calvin Klein purse. I did not know what the appropriate course of action was with letters like that, but I liked carrying it with me. It was a reminder of how short life was and how badly one person could hurt another. It was my personal reminder to forget the past because the future has no guarantees that the people will be there with you when you get there.

As I draped my purse across my forearm, my phone rang. It was an unfamiliar tone. I pulled it out and opened the wallet case to see a 212 area code, which meant it was New York calling. Closing my eyes secretly wishing it was Jax so I could apologize, I answered it.

“
Hello,” I asked with a shaky breath. I had not had the courage to call and apologize to Jax.

“
Hello, I am trying to reach a Candice-Leigh Carson.” A feminine voice came across the line. Her tone was friendly yet stern.

“
This is she.” I replied automatically.

“
Ms. Carson, my name is Brooklyn Montgomery. I am the A.D.A. here in New York County. I wondered if you had a moment to speak to me.”

My heart dropped, I do not know why people say they want justice; because, when justice calls, the voice on the other line either gives you good news or bad and it brings it all back to the surface again.

I turned away from everyone and walked into the living room. I didn’t want anyone to hear my conversation even though my house was matchbox sized and I knew they would.

“
Yes, Ms. Montgomery, I have the time now.” I responded with a shaky breath.

“
Ms. Carson, please call me Brooklyn. I would like for you to feel comfortable talking to me.”

I nodded as if she could see me. Thankfully, she continued on as I swallowed hard. This was not how I wanted to spend a Monday morning.

“
Ms. Carson, we have a suspect for the break- in at your home. I wondered if you would have time to go and talk with a detective there in Los Angeles or if you would be returning to New York anytime soon?”

“
I can make the time to talk to a detective here. I have no intentions of returning to New York.”

“
Alright, I will call you back when I determine who will be handling this out there on your end. One last thing Miss Carson, when was your last communication with Detective Jaxson Monroe?” She asked quickly.

“
I haven’t spoken to Jaxson in six months or more. I left a couple weeks after the funeral.” I stated as I closed my eyes and thought about what Jax would have felt when he awoke to a letter on the bed and me gone. I didn’t want that life following me so while I wished that Jax would call, I made it so he couldn’t. “Miss Montgomery can I ask why?” I asked closing my eyes as if it would protect my heart.

“
He took a temporary leave of absence and I was just checking in on him. If you have not spoken to him, then I will try and reach his girlfriend again.”

I felt as though I could vomit. The girlfriend was running through my mind on a big flashing banner. I don’t know why I was so upset, but I could not speak. A tear streamed down my cheek.

“
Ms. Carson, I know this is hard for you, but we are all working hard to determine who broke into your house and who killed your fiancé. I am not on your fiancé’s case, but if I can help in any way please let me know.”

I sniffled, trying to dry up my tears, and Brooklyn must have heard me. I had people in the house with me and yet I felt all alone.

“
Ms. Carson, I truly am sorry for your loss. I will be in touch with the contact information for the PD there. The number on your caller ID is my cell; you can reach me anytime.”

Just like that the call ended and my world tilted on an axis once again. I dropped my phone into my purse and covered my face as I began to sob. I thought I was fine. I thought I was passed this, but nearly seven months later it is day one all over again. Jax had moved on so why couldn’t I?

Andrew walked into the room and wrapped his long arms around me. I felt nothing. No warmth no comfort. I was numb to the world around me. I pulled away and gave both Andrew and Emily who was now in the archway, the best smile I could and walked to the bathroom.

I closed the door and wiped my tears. I washed my face and wiped it dry. I saw my reflection in the mirror. My puffy red eyes screamed defeat. My pale skin was inflamed with red blotches, almost as if my skin was blushing. It happened whenever I got upset. I cleared my throat and applied new make up to look the best I could. A knock on the door made me jump. I opened it to see Andrew.

“
Want to talk?” Andrew asked sweetly.

“
It was a long time ago.”

“
Who is Jaxson?” Andrew spoke softly as he leaned in my door frame.

“
He used to be a friend.”

“
Used to be… Want to tell me what happened?”

I stood silently, placing my hands on the sink and staring at myself. I had to forgive Chase, and the person who killed Chase to keep my sanity, I also needed to accept my responsibility for the way I bolted on Jax.

“
Jax was my fiancé’s partner. I let things go too far one night and, because I did not want to face him, I climbed out his guest bedroom window and fled to the airport to come here. I haven’t spoken to him since.”

“
Candice, obviously the mention of this man upsets you, don’t you think maybe you should find him and apologize? It might help you move on as well.” Andrew spoke softly and then closed the bathroom door.

Bringing up Jax was like putting the nail in my coffin. I only wanted what was best for him and I was not it. An apology was nowhere close to what that man deserved, and I was too ashamed to grovel.

The conversation with Brooklyn threw me off. He had a girlfriend now? It didn’t seem to fit the Jax I knew. I should have spoken up and said something, but I did not have the courage to see him or apologize, so I could not speak for him now.

The day passed by in a blur. It was nearly time to leave and I had been taking calls all day about a new anti-virus program our company had come out with. Everyone had questions that I had to research the answers to, because we had been late and did not get briefed this morning. The added time to figure out the answers kept me busy and the time flew by. I missed lunch, but it was alright because I wasn’t hungry.

I went to check my messages on the computer to see thirty-seven messages from Emily wanting to see if I was alright. I deleted them all and grabbed my purse, as I shut down the computer for the day. I patted the side of my purse where Chase’s letter was, grabbed my coat and headed for the elevator.

I saw Andrew in his office pacing while on the phone. He looked agitated, which was outside of the norm for him. I wondered if he was alright and what was going on. I pushed the elevator button down and held my gaze to his. He smiled at me and gave me a wink. I smiled back and felt as though everything would truly be alright.

I took the twenty story descent to the parking garage. We had taken Andrew’s car this morning, but I had a key. I walked up to his silver Mercedes when I thought I heard thunder. I walked outside to see the clouds were covering the sun, but there was no storm on the horizon for me.

My body shivered as fall had turned to winter and those rumors about California always being 80 and sunny were a lie. They said on the news we were expecting a rare thunderstorm, with lightning and hail. I went back to the car and used my key to get inside and wait for Andrew to drive me home.