Wrong Girl (18 page)

“She
likes you.”

“Excuse
me?”

“She
fancies you.” I repeat, rolling my eyes in the direction of the pretty girl.

“Who?
The waitress?” He asks, clearly bewildered by my statement.

“Yes
and you know she does.”

“Does
that bother you?” He inquires, leaning forward in his chair.

“Why
would it bother me?” I snap, angry with him for being able to read my mind so
well.

“I
don’t know, you just seem a little… jealous?” He smirks humorously, a satisfied
glint in his eye.

“I’m
definitely not.”

“I
know I was” He replies sharply, locking those magnificent eyes on me.

“When?”
I glance up at him in confusion.

“Every
time you told Rachel you were spending the evening with Jason and then again
when you met my brother.”

“Aaron?
But I only spoke to him for a second.”

“That
doesn’t matter, at least it didn’t matter to me. He was all over you, flirting
and eye-fucking you every chance he got.” He says angrily, clenching the fist
that rests on top of the table.

“And
that made you jealous?” I ask incredulously, ridiculously flattered by the
idea.

“Unbelievably
jealous.” He replies solemnly as he continues to watch me intently.

“Wow.”
I murmur softly in disbelief.

We’re
suddenly interrupted by the arrival of the pretty waitress who served us,
placing our orders down on the table before us.

“Here’s
your drinks.” She says smoothly, angling her body to face Zack.

“Thanks,
can you please put it on my tab.”

“Sure,
that’s not a problem. If there’s anything else you need… please don’t be afraid
to ask. My name’s Amanda.”

God,
she’s blatantly flirting with him and she’s doing it right in front of me,
angling her body to face him so she’s blocking me from his view. How does she
know we’re not together? I could be his girlfriend for all she knows. The
thought of this makes my blood boil and infuriates me beyond belief. I’ve never
felt so insulted, ignored or overlooked in my entire life.

“No,
that will be all. I really just want to spend a quiet evening with my
girlfriend. In private.” He retorts dismissively, trying to see past her
towards me.

My
mouth actually falls open in shock. Girlfriend? Did he really just say that?

“Of
course. I understand.” She sniffs contemptuously, walking away as fast as she
can.

“Why
did you say that? I’m not your girlfriend and you know it.” I say accusingly,
glaring at Zack across the table.

“I
didn’t want her coming onto me all night. She was practically offering herself
on a plate to me and she could blatantly see that I’m sitting here with you. It
was really rude and dismissive of her and I didn’t like it. At least she’ll now
keep away and leave us alone in private.”

I
anxiously lick my lips, taking a sip of lemonade from my glass.

“So
how come you don’t drink?” He inquires casually, leaning back in his chair as
he tastes his scotch.

“I
just don’t. I don’t really like the taste and I’m not into the whole going out
and getting drunk thing. It’s just not for me.” I say truthfully.

“Fair
enough. I don’t drink much either, only when I’m nervous.”

“So
you’re nervous now?” I ask, raising my eyebrows in surprise.

“I’m
terrified.” He stares across at me, an unreadable expression on his face.

“That
makes two of us.” I murmur softly.

“Let’s
just try and make this easier, ok? I just want to get to know you a bit more
and find out who you are. Your sister hasn’t told me much about you and your
mum says even less.”

“I’m
glad my mother hasn’t told you anything about me. It would only be bad.” I
grumble, folding my arms across my chest.

“This
is exactly what I don’t get. Why don’t the two of you get along like her and
Rachel do?” He asks, swirling the whiskey around in his glass.

“Rachel’s
always been the favourite, just like I’ve always been the black sheep of the
family. That’s just the way it is.” I shrug my shoulders, trying to make out
like it’s not a big deal.

I’ve
always made out like my relationship with my mum doesn’t affect me, hoping that
one day it really won’t. I guess that day hasn’t arrived yet.

“But
why
?” Zack persists, refusing to let it go.

“You’ll
have to ask her that.” I respond curtly.

“I’m
asking you.” He challenges, locking his penetrative stare on me.

“She
simply doesn’t like me.”

“How
could she not like her own daughter?”

“I
was exceptionally close to my dad, maybe she was jealous of our relationship.
Maybe it’s because I’m a disappointment to her, working part time in a nursery
doesn’t even begin to compare to the West End actress that is her other daughter.”

“That’s
really messed up if that’s the reason why she treats you so differently.” He
says in annoyance.

“There
are other reasons but I try not to think about it.”

“What
other reasons?” He asks, resting his elbows on his knees as he leans towards
me.

“Rachel
hasn’t told you?”

I
really thought my sister would have discussed my anxiety and all the issues
I’ve been having with Zack. It’s not like I’d be angry with her if she did talk
to him, I guess I’m just surprised she hasn’t said anything to him about it, I
know how much she worries about me.

“Told
me what?”

“Nothing.
It doesn’t matter.” I wave my hand dismissively, eager to get us away from this
conversation.

“Sam,
you can’t do that to me. You were going to say something.”

“It’s
just… I’ve had a few problems over the years. I don’t have Rachel’s grace and
confidence, I deal with things differently and my mum hasn’t always agreed with
the way I handle things. She doesn’t understand the person I am and she doesn’t
get me, she never has done and she never will.”

“That’s
got to be really tough and I don’t mean that in a patronising way.” He assures
me, draining his glass of the remaining whiskey it had in it.

“What
about your parents? I only met them the once but they seem really nice people.”

 I
cross my legs, struggling to ignore the way that Zack’s gaze lingers on them in
appreciation. The fact that he finds me attractive is enough to make my body
ignite with lust and desire.

“My
mum and dad are great. We don’t always see eye to eye but they’re pretty
awesome. They’ve never shown that they have a favourite between me and Aaron.
The two of them treat us both the same, like equals.”

“That’s
great, it’s not nice to feel like an outcast in your own family.” I confess,
hating myself for the unresolved sadness I can feel lodged in the back of my
throat.

“I
just want you to know that I don’t agree with the way your mum treats you. I
don’t think a person’s job or what they do for a living should reflect the way
a person treats them and I don’t respect the constant negativity she puts on
you. I’ve told Rachel I don’t want her organising the wedding because of it.
Her role will be minimal and I hope she won’t be a problem for you being a part
of the wedding or Rachel’s Maid of honour.” He observes me with caution,
wondering what the consequence of his revelation will be.

“Wow,
that’s really something. Thank you.”  

“It’s
not a big deal, think nothing of it.”

More
silence follows, causing me to glance at the remaining guests on the patio.
There’s only six still out here, including me and Zack.

“So
the wedding’s just around the corner. In three months you’ll be marrying my
sister and we’ll have to act like this night never happened.” I exclaim,
surprised by my own outburst.

“So
far nothing
has
happened between us.” He states in a matter of fact
tone.

“You
kissed me.”

“You
mean last Friday in Rachel’s room?”

“Yes.”

“Before
we were interrupted by my idiot brother?”

“Yes.”

“I
do remember, Sam. It’s not like I could easily forget, I must have relived that
moment a thousand times in my head since then.”

 His
sombre expression and solemn demeanour convinces me he’s telling the truth. I
don’t think Zack would like about anything, he’s too straight up and honest.

“I
relive it too. I think about it all the time and that fact alone terrifies me.”
I profess, swallowing the lump of anxiety in my throat.

“I’m
so sorry. I’m so sorry for all of this. Hurting you has never been my intention
and I need you to know that.” He implores me to believe him, staring at me
intently.

“It
might not be your intention but it’s going to happen anyway.” I tell him,
wringing my hands together in trepidation.

“Fuck,
this is such a mess.” He groans, cradling his head in his hands.

“Do
you want me to go?” I offer, absolutely dreading the reply he will give me.

“God,
no. That’s the last thing I want. Why? Do you want to go?” He glares at me in
accusation, clearly annoyed that I would bring up the idea of leaving.

“I
don’t know. I don’t know anything anymore, I’m so confused.” I whimper, close
to tears and on the verge of a complete breakdown of my mixed up emotions.

I’m
so tired of being strong all the time. Sometimes I don’t want to fight.
Sometimes I long to give in and surrender. I long for the things I can’t have
and now I’m craving a man who can never be mine. Its agonising and I don’t know
what I’m supposed to do about it. There’s no one I can turn to, no one who
would understand. The only person who knows how I feel is Zack. He’s the only
one I can talk to about this and I can’t even begin to describe how isolating
the knowledge of that is. The one person I can talk to is a complete stranger.

“Let’s
go back upstairs.”

Zack
hurries me out of my seat, placing his large hand on the small of my back as we
leave the outside patio. I keep my head down as we make our way through the
lobby, up the large flight of stairs and down the corridor that leads to our
room.

I
head straight for the bathroom as soon as we’re inside and close the door
behind me.
Please don’t let me have a panic attack right now. Please,
please, please no. Not right now, not in front of Zack.
I take a seat on
the edge of the hot tub, trying to regain some control over my erratic breathing.

“Sam,
are you ok?”

Zack’s
gentle voice comes from the other side of the door, pulling me out of my
anxious state and back into the present. He knocks quietly, awaiting my
response.

“I’ll
be out in a minute.” I call out, sighing deeply.

The
sound of his footsteps fade away, he’s respecting my wishes and for that I am
grateful. I run my fingers through my hair and moisten my lips, standing up to
gaze at my pale complexion in the bathroom mirror. I barely recognise the girl
before me, her eyes look haunted and the misery behind them is unmistakeable.
I’m surprised the whole world can’t see it.

I
realise that I have two options here. I can tell Zack I’ve changed my mind
about our arrangement and leave or I can tell him that I intend to stick to the
plan and spend the night with him. Both options sound appealing but only one of
them will change my life. Only one of them has the power to leave an imprint on
my heart and a scar across my soul forever. It may not be the right choice, I
might live to regret it and despise myself for the rest of my life.

I
guess that’s a risk I’m willing to take.

 I
find him on the bed, sat on the very edge of it with his head in his hands. He
doesn’t know he’s being watched and has yet to be aware of my presence. I
realise that this is what makes all of this so excruciating for me. I know that
he’s genuinely in pain, he’s really suffering and the last thing I want to do
is to hurt him anymore. This should be the happiest time of his life, he’s
engaged to be married, he’s back home with his parents and yet he’s still
miserable. All because of me.

It’s
my fault.

I
have to make it better.

“Zack?”

His
head jerks at the sound of my voice and he jumps up, hesitantly making his way
over towards me.

“You’ve
been crying.” He whispers, tilting my chin up so he can see me clearly.

“I’ve
stopped now.” I reply softly, smiling weakly.

“I
don’t want to be the one who makes you cry.” He says sombrely.

“You’re
not the reason. It’s me. I despise the fact that I want someone I can never
have.”

There’s
a momentary silence between us, the only sound to be heard is the two of us
breathing heavily.