Wrong Girl (33 page)

I
yelp loudly when one of Zack’s hands grabs my ass, using it as leverage to
force me onto his tongue. It’s completely buried all the way inside of me as he
devours the warm juices my body releases. Being eaten from behind like this
makes me feel so wanton, bold and uninhibited. It’s as though he’s allowing me
to let go, to forget about all the misconceptions I’ve ever had about
relationships, sex and even my own sexuality. He’s somehow managed to free me
from myself, judgement and my own scathing contempt.

Before
this I felt vulnerable, exposed, and victimised. I had been reminded of the
past to such an extent that I almost felt like I was reliving it but now… now I
am full of an exhilarating exuberance which only heightens the sensuality
coursing through my veins. Zack has miraculously succeeded in his quest by
reversing our roles. I no longer want to weep for the fragile, broken victim I
have always believed myself to be.

You
can be whoever you want to be
. My subconscious states boldly, refusing
to be ignored.

As
my orgasm draws near, my self-belief increases, encouraging me to believe the
internal statement I just heard to be true. I
can
be whoever and
whatever I choose and no one from my past gets to decide who or what that is,
especially not a dark and twisted monster like Harry. For the first time in my
entire
life I am certain that when I look back on my life several years from now, he
will play no part in it. I’m not about to give him that power.

Never
again.

As
Zack’s mouth continues to make love to me, I completely allow myself to let go.
I free myself from the chains which have kept me shackled and tied to the past
for so long. I break free from them and make a conscious decision within myself
to never crawl back into the darkness. Sometimes, we actually convince
ourselves that the darkness is our friend, that nobody can touch us if we
remain in the shadows. We believe that the monsters actually can’t see us if we
remain hidden and none of this is true.

There’s
a great and wonderful world outside just waiting for you to uncover it, its
waiting for you to step outside, feel the sunshine on your skin and bask in the
glory of a universe that was created for
you
.
Your
life,
your
hopes
and
your
aspirations. Do not make the mistake of letting the shadows
from you past cloud the vision that you have for your future. Too much time we
spend in sorrow, sadness and regret, ignoring the hope that runs alongside
tomorrow and the possibility of growth, progression and wisdom.

I
am suddenly wrenched back to the present as my body explodes around him. A
searing, ferocious heat consumes my very being as I close my eyes, finally
granting myself the privilege of being owned by this man. My saviour. The one
who saw through my façade and deliberately smashes through each and every wall
I have built around myself. In him there is a recognition. It’s an undeniable
force that is calling me to him, a force so supreme and compelling I cannot run
from it again.

Never.

Chapter Sixteen

Today.
Today is a day that changed my life forever. It was a day I am now certain I
will look back on in years to come and remember the exact date of it. It was
the day that everything changed.

I
rock back and forth on my bathroom floor, hugging my knees against my chest as
I pray for the harrowing pain inside my body to go away. Tears cloud my vision
as I sob violently, gulping for oxygen when my weeping becomes too intense. My
phone has not stopped ringing since I walked through the door and I
purposefully cover my ears with my hands in an attempt to blot out the shrill
noise my ringtone emits.

I
guess I best start at the beginning and rewind twelve hours, back to waking up
in Zack’s arms this morning, blissfully at ease and almost hopeful for a future
alongside the man sleeping beside me…

After
the sensational moment we shared on the sofa last night, there was no question
about Zack going home. He insisted on spending the night with me and refused to
take no for an answer.

“I’m
not leaving you, baby. It’s not happening.” He spoke decidedly, resolute in his
decision to stay.

“But
don’t you have to get back?” I asked him timidly.

“No,
I’m staying right here. With you.”

We
were both sat next to each other on the sofa, our fingers interlaced as he took
hold of my hand.

“I’m
so exhausted, Zack. I feel emotionally drained and all I want to do right now
is fall into bed and go to sleep.”

“That’s
fine by me, so long as you promise you won’t sneak out on me in the morning.”

I
knew he was referring to the first night we spent together in the hotel and
felt a sudden pang of guilt for the way I snuck out that night without saying a
word to him.

“I-I’m
sorry about that, I really am.” I apologised sincerely.

“Shh…
that’s in the past now. All that matters is the present and the fact that we’re
together now. Nothing and no one is going to tear us apart.”

“Everything
will be ok wont it, Zack?”

“Sweetheart,
I promise you it will be. I’m going to take care of you from now on and don’t
want you to worry about anything.”

He
leant in towards me, placing a gentle kiss against my lips. I moaned when I
realised I was tasting my own arousal on him. The intensity of our kiss
increased until we were both breathless, moaning and undeniably intoxicated
with one another.

“Zack,
I need you.”

“I
need you too, baby. I need you so fucking bad.”

He
picked me up from the sofa with zero amount of effort, carrying me into the
bedroom before gently placing me on the bed. I was partially clothed seeing as
I had put my underwear back on as soon as my earth-shattering and explosive
orgasm left my body. I’m still somewhat self-conscious when it comes to being
naked around Zack. His body is similar to a magnificent sculpture, exquisitely
carved and moulded. He is the epitome of masculine beauty and it’s not hard for
me to fail in comparison.

None
of this seemed to matter when Zack yanked the tiny scraps of material from my
body, gazing at my naked self in adoration and reverence.

“You
are so beautiful.” He whispered, trailing his mouth across my neck as he
continued to support his powerful weight above me.

I
could feel myself start to blush, unfamiliar with such a direct compliment.
Something else was bothering me too, something which I was struggling to ignore
and did not wish to acknowledge.

Rachel.

My
mind could not erase the image of them together, knowing that they had slept
together just twenty four hours before was tormenting me and I was warring with
myself over my mixed up feelings about it. In that moment I felt as though I
were being torn in half. One side of me wanted him to continue, relishing in
the exquisite sexual responses he awakened from my body. The other half of me
wanted to tear his hands from my body, enraged and incensed that he had actually
placed them on another.

“Stop!”
I exclaimed loudly, firmly pushing my palms against his solid chest.

“What’s
wrong? Did I hurt you?” He asked, allowing me to shove him backwards and put
some space between us.

“No
it’s just… Rachel.” I whispered her name, scarcely able to speak it.

“Sam.”
He sighed wearily, his shoulders drooping as he cradled his head in his hands.

“I
know you’ve explained it all to me, I just can’t forget the fact that you made
love to her last night.” I admit, feeling the temperature rise in my cheeks
with embarrassment.

“I
did
not
make love to her.” He wailed, landing his fist against the
mattress in frustration. “It wasn’t like that. What happened last night was a
mistake, one which I will not be repeating ever again. I was drunk and I was desperate,
Sam. You have no idea how dark things were for me during the week you were
gone. I was dangerously close to insanity because I truly believed I had lost
you. You gave me no explanation for your disappearance, you just took off and left
me. What the hell was I supposed to do?”

“Not
sleep with her!” I cried, angrily wiping away my tears.

“I
know! I know I should never have done it but I can’t erase what happened,
Samantha. It will never happen again, I can assure you.”

“How
can you promise me that?” I asked him, glaring at him incredulously.

“Because
I’m not going to marry her. I’m going to call off the whole engagement.”

A
silence fell between us as we continued to stare at one another, awaiting the
other person’s next move.

“W-what?”
I stammered, unable to come up with anything else.

“You
really think I’m going to go ahead and marry your sister after all of this? After
everything that’s transpired between us and the way I feel about you. You
really think I would
want
to when…” He trailed off, averting his gaze
from my own.

“When
what?”

“When…
I’m in love with you.” He mumbled softly, moistening his lips.

His
stance was uneasy and it unnerved me. However, the transparency of his emotions
was magnetic and I struggled to tear my eyes away from him. Vulnerability was
not something I was used to witnessing from Zack and although it was
disconcerting, it also intrigued me.

“Y-you
love me?” I stumbled over my words, hardly capable of processing what he just
said to me.

“You
really have to ask?” He smiled, dazzling me with its brilliance.

“I
don’t know what to say.”

“You
don’t have to say anything. I just wanted you to know.” He whispered, unable to
keep the rejection out of his voice.

“How
the hell is any of this going to work, Zack? She’s going to hate me. My own
sister is going to hate me forever.”

“And
yet I will still love you.” He claimed boldly, fixing those enticing brown eyes
of his on mine.

“But
I’m scared.” I told him, blurting out my fear.

“You
never, ever have to be scared again.” He assured me, cradling my face in his
hands. “I never want you to be afraid, Samantha. I promise you right now that I
will always take care of you. We can move back to London together if you want
and leave all of this behind. Fuck our bad reputations, get the hell out of
here and be happy. I don’t give a shit about what anyone else thinks of me, the
only opinion I value is yours. I know I only just moved back up here but my
boss is fair, he will understand if I tell him my transition up here won’t
work.”

“I
don’t know if I could see myself living in London.” I admitted, trying to envision
myself leading a whole new lifestyle in the capital city. “I’m not her.”

“Ok,
that’s fine, we’ll go somewhere else. We can go anywhere you want, we can stay
here if you feel comfortable or move someplace else if you don’t. We can either
live together or I can find you your own apartment. That way you can have your
own space but I still get to be close to you. Samantha, I’ll support you, I
swear I will. You can have all the time you need to figure out what it is you
really want to do and who you want to be.”

“You
mean for a career?” I asked uncertainly.

“Anything
you want. It’s not even essential that you have one, I can support the two of
us.”

“Whoa,
just hold on a second, Zack. All of this is going really, really fast. We don’t
even know one other that well and you’re talking about us moving in together?
You’re still engaged to my sister.” I complained, fighting the anxiety which
had already begun to escalate in my mind.

“Not
for much longer. I told you I’m going to call off the engagement.” He reassured
me, placing a tender kiss on my forehead.

We
were both naked within seconds, unable to get enough of one another. I banished
the knowledge that the same hands that were touching me had been on someone
else just twenty-four hours before and gave myself completely to the man I have
somehow managed to fall in in love with.

“I
need to be inside you.” He murmured softly against my ear, causing me to
tremble with desire.

Our
tongues intertwined as his mouth made love to mine, masterfully eliminating
everything destructive about the evening we just shared. He stroked my hair,
showering my face and then my neck with kisses. His hands found their way to my
breasts, squeezing them gently as his thumbs drew circles around my nipples.

I
gasped when his right hand slid down my naked body, finding its way between my
legs. I felt incredibly self-conscious within that moment because I knew he
would find me astonishingly aroused. This only seemed to turn Zack on even more
and he groaned loudly, tightening the grasp he still had on my breast.

“God,
you’re so wet. You’re so ready for me, baby.” He was breathing heavily,
struggling to control himself.

 His
own arousal was pressing against me, stimulating my body in ways I cannot even
begin to explain.

“Zack,
I need you. I need you
now
.” I begged him, trailing my fingers down the
entire length of his back.

“Fuck,
I love it when you’re like this. I love it when you give yourself to me, when
you become
mine
.” He growled, taking me by surprise as he thrust himself
all the way inside me.

I
felt so
full
and so complete, satisfied and…
whole
. All my life I
haven’t been able to shake the fact that I have felt like an outsider, a
spectator looking in and observing the events of my own life. With Zack, I no
longer feel as though I’m on the side-lines, his presence in my life has
allowed me to take centre stage and decide for myself who I am and who I want
to be.

“Don’t
stop.” I begged him, biting down onto the skin on his shoulder.

My
action must have pushed him over the edge and he released himself inside of me
just seconds later. I cradled him to me, wrapping my legs around his waist in
an attempt to bring him even closer.

We
fell asleep in each other’s arms, our limbs intertwined as he pulled my body
against his. I slept soundly for the first time in God knows how long and woke
up with a pleasant and care-free smile on my face.

All
of this happened just twelve hours ago.

And
now everything has changed…

Forever.

Zack
and I had breakfast together once we actually managed to drag ourselves away
from the bedroom. We had coffee together curled up on the sofa and for a couple
of hours we could pretend. We tried ignoring the persistent phone calls from
Rachel. We tried to act like we were a normal couple spending a regular
Saturday morning together but it just didn’t work.

“You
should go.” I told him, motioning towards his phone which had been going off
for the last half an hour.

“I
don’t want to, I want to stay here with you.” He complained, grabbing his phone
before he switched it off in annoyance.

“I
know you do but you need to get back, Rachel will be wondering where you are.”
I whispered the last part, fighting the insurmountable jealousy swirling around
inside me. “You planned on seeing her today, right?”

“We’re
supposed to be going out for lunch with my parents. The table has been booked
for ages.” He said reluctantly, sighing wearily.

“So
you better go.” I smiled weakly, wanting to reassure him that I was strong
enough to handle this.

The
last thing I wanted him to know was how much it was killing me. The thought of
Zack leaving me to go and meet up with my sister was beyond excruciating.

“I
can always cancel. My parents will get over it and so will Rachel.” He spoke
flippantly, as though none of it was a big deal for him.

“No,
it’s fine. I need to spend some time with Jason today anyway.” I said casually,
walking into the kitchen from the sofa we were sat on.

“What?”