“Stop!”
I exclaimed loudly, playfully slapping him on the arm.
“I’m
sorry, I couldn’t resist.” He chuckled mischievously. “That day was also about me
pissing off my brother.”
“Why
would you want to do that?”
“I
guess can’t help but get sick of him being my parent’s favourite, the blue eyed
boy who can’t do anything wrong, you know? I act out sometimes, I make mistakes
and I feel like my mom and dad just don’t get that.”
“Wow,
I’m sorry, Aaron. I had no idea.” I whispered, resisting the urge I had to
reach out and comfort him.
I
remembered the night I spent at the hotel with Zack when he told me that his
mum and dad have always treated him and his brother the same and couldn’t help
from wondering what made him believe this when Aaron was vehemently denying
that it wasn’t the case.
“Yeah,
well… it is what it is.”
All
traces of humour had disappeared, leaving him somewhat desolate and sombre.
“But
you’re successful, you no longer live with your parents and you have a job. I
don’t see how that would make you inferior to anything that Zack is doing.” I
argued.
“He’s
the first born, he’s an accomplished architect and I guess my job fixing cars
can never measure up. He always was the golden one, even when we were kids. He
got the good grades, dated the best girls, he was awesome at sports and never
let his free time distract him from what had to be done. He works hard and
plays harder, a balance which I’ve never managed to get right.”
Aaron’s
sincerity and the honesty in which he confided in me was completely
overwhelming. The first time I met Zack’s brother was two weeks ago and at the
time I labelled him as nothing but a harmless flirt and the honest truth is I
couldn’t have been more wrong.
“Jeez,
it sucks living in their shadow, doesn’t it?” I sighed deeply, trying to fight
the increasing impulse I had to break down in tears.
“That’s
for sure.” He paused, taking a moment to reflect on everything we discussed.
“It’s going to be even worse now they’re married, you know.” He spoke casually,
as though the knowledge of this should be obvious.
“What
makes you say that?”
“‘Favourite
son weds favourite daughter.’ It’s just too damn perfect. You just know that
even their kids are going to be absolutely flawless.”
“You
think they’ll have kids?” I asked, unable to control my surprise.
“Sure,
why not? Zack’s always wanted to be a dad, there’s no way he would marry
someone who doesn’t want to have his children.” He said confidently.
My
heart almost stopped as soon as my brain managed to process what Aaron had just
told me. I was unaware that being a parent was so important to Zack and the
fact that I’m still entirely unsure when it comes to having another baby could
turn out to be a damaging issue between us. The idea of children absolutely
terrifies me and it has done since the end of my own pregnancy. Before that,
all I ever wanted was a baby and I could not wait for the day that I would
finally become a mum. I don’t know what happened to me but the devastating
destruction my termination brought me has scarred me for life and the main
consideration when it comes to scars is they don’t fade. Ever.
“Oh…
I never knew that.” I murmured, fighting to conceal my trembling emotions.
The
sound of my phone ringing from the other side of the room jerked me right out
of my contemplation. I made my way over to my bag on the table and reached for
it, glancing down at the screen to see Zack’s name flashing up at me. I
immediately switched my phone off, knowing it would be impossible to speak to
him in that moment.
“Anyone
important?”
“No.”
I lied, dropping the phone back into my bag. “Listen, I’m just going to use the
bathroom real quick, back in a sec.”
I
made my exit from the living room, hoping to keep my composure until I could be
alone. I closed the bathroom door behind me, struggling to gain control over my
erratic breathing. I could hardly believe that I had Zack’s brother in my
sitting room. What the hell possessed me to confide in him like that? And why
did I not feel uncomfortable or self-conscious when I did it? Talk about
surreal.
I
stayed in there for several minutes, battling the anxiety I could feel building
up inside of me. The sound of Aaron raising his voice eventually coaxed me out
of there, curiosity forcing me to go and find out what was going on.
“What
the hell is up with you? You seriously need to calm the fuck down, Zack.” Aaron
spoke angrily, pacing back and forth in agitation as he clutched the phone he
was speaking on to his ear.
“What’s
wrong?” I whispered softly, gently tapping him on the shoulder.
I
couldn’t understand what was happening. I’d only been gone a few minutes… how
could things have escalated in such a short space of time?
“That’s
her, isn’t it? Put her on the phone right now.” Zack demanded loudly, sounding
furious and beyond enraged.
“Why
should I? She might not want to speak to you right now.” Aaron challenged him,
clutching the phone even tighter.
“Just
fucking do it.” Zack growled.
I
swallowed nervously, offering my hand out for the phone. I was incredibly
bewildered but knew I had to try and diffuse the situation before things went
from bad to worse.
“I’ll
talk to him.” I said, holding out my hand for Aaron to pass me his phone.
“Sam,
you don’t have to. I can handle this.” He assured me.
“You
heard her, she wants to talk to me. Put her on the damn phone.” Zack barked
resentfully.
I
took Aaron’s mobile from him with a trembling hand and made my way into my
bedroom, closing the door behind me.
“Zack,
what’s wrong?” I asked, fighting for breath as I struggled to get the right
words out.
“What
the fuck is Aaron doing there?” He asked, firing the question at me in fury.
“Excuse
me? Who do you think you’re speaking to?” I chastised him, refusing to back
down and apologise when I was so sure I had done nothing wrong. “I bumped into
Aaron just over an hour ago and he was at a loose end. He asked me if I wanted
to hang out and I said yes.”
“Why
the hell would you agree to that when you know what he was like with you the
last time he saw you? You knew how it would make me feel and that’s exactly why
you did it.” He spat out accusingly.
“That’s
not true! Are you forgetting where you were this afternoon? You were completely
preoccupied with your parents and my sister on your little dinner date.” I
replied bitterly.
“You
know
I didn’t want to go! You’re the one who told me I had to.” He
fought back.
“Look,
it’s pointless arguing about it, Zack. I don’t like the fact you were playing
happy families and you don’t like the fact I chose to hang out with your
brother. We both just need to get over it.”
“I
don’t think I can do that.”
“Well,
you’re going to have to. You don’t have a choice.” I said firmly.
“I’m
going to kill him.” He growled threateningly.
“Don’t
say that, do you know how childish that sounds? Aaron has done nothing wrong.”
“He
wants to fuck you, I know he does.” He snarled contemptuously.
“You’re
wrong. I admit that I thought that at first but we’ve somehow managed to come
to an understanding this afternoon. He’s not a bad guy, Zack.”
“Yeah,
he really is. He’s trying to steal what’s mine and I’m going to fucking kill
him.” He vowed, relentless in his rage and madness.
“As
far as Aaron is concerned I’m
not
yours. Rachel is.”
“I
don’t give a shit. I’m far too pissed off right now to see reason, Sam. I have
to go.” He spoke dismissively, ready to hang up the phone on me. “Oh, and tell
Aaron to get the fuck out of your apartment. I’m going to deal with him later.
He’s going to regret this.” He promised me, disconnecting out call.
I
was left gaping down at the phone in amazement, at a complete and utter loss
when it came to what I should do next. Eventually, I knew I had to back and
face Aaron, struggling to come up with some sort of explanation for Zack’s
behaviour. I slowly crept back out into the living room to find Aaron with his
back to me, gazing out the window.
“I’m
so sorry about that.” I murmured, taking a seat on the sofa.
“Samantha,
are you ok? What the fuck just happened? What did he say to you?”
“I-I
really can’t explain it. I think I’m going to leave that to him.”
“I
don’t need any sort of explanation from you, it’s
him
I have the problem
with. Who the hell does he think he is?”
“What
exactly happened, Aaron? When I left to use the bathroom you weren’t even on
the phone.”
“As
soon as you left the room I got the call from him. It was all pretty normal at
first. He told me he had just managed to escape and bring an end to the most
boring lunch of his entire life. He asked if I was free to go and play a round
of pool and that’s when I told him I couldn’t because I was hanging out with
you and he just flipped. He started firing questions at me and demanding that I
put you on the phone. I refused and that’s when he really went crazy on me.
What the hell is his problem?”
I
had no idea what to say. I could hardly explain Zack’s behaviour to his brother
and I also didn’t like the thought of deceiving Aaron. I was at a loss when it
came to handling it all.
“Like
I said… you should really talk to him.”
“Don’t
worry, I’m going to.” He spoke decidedly, snatching his phone from me before
reaching for his jacket.
“Aaron,
please don’t start anything with him. He’s still your brother.”
“This
is between me and him, Sam. It’s a confrontation that’s been on the cards for a
while. I guess it’s going to happen now. I’ll see you later.”
He
left me alone in my apartment, emotional and alone. I felt like I had no one to
confide in and no one who would understand the pain I was going through. Little
did I know it was about to get even worse…
My
landline phone rang, startling me with its piercing noise. I knew it couldn’t
be Zack because I’ve yet to give him my home number and the knowledge of this
is what convinced me to answer.
“Hello?”
I tried to sound normal, hoping the fragile tone of my voice would give nothing
away.
“Samantha,
I need to speak with you. Come over to the house as soon as you can.”
My
mother’s shrill demand gave me chills. I had no idea why she was phoning me or
why she suddenly wanted me to go and visit her.
“What?
Why? What’s happened?” I asked, the panic rising within me as my mind raced
with possibilities.
“I’ll
explain everything to you as soon as you get here.” She replied coldly, hanging
up the phone before I even had a chance to respond.
I
stood still for several moments, wondering what on earth had happened to force
her to summon me like she did. I knew I wouldn’t rest until I found out and
hastily left my apartment so I could ask her for myself.
It
only took me a few minutes to get there. I walked so fast I was practically
running, adrenaline and anxiety providing me with the speed I needed to
confront her. I hammered on the door with such urgency, certain that something
was terribly wrong.
“I
would really appreciate it if you didn’t cause damage to my front door.” My mum
spoke dismissively, glowering at me in distaste.
“I’m
sorry.” I apologised breathlessly, clutching my side which was developing a
stitch.
“You
best come in. What I need to say to you should be said in private.”
She
turned her back on me and left the door open. I had to close it myself and
follow her as she made her way into the kitchen. My own curiosity and fear increased
with each step I took. There was no one else home and the eerie silence was
enough to scare me. My mother’s high heels echoed against the hard flooring,
forcing me to remember a time I used to hide underneath my bed. I only did this
whenever I heard her coming, frightened of the verbal punishment I was about to
receive.
“I’m
going to make this quick.” She placed a hand on the kitchen worktop, turning to
face me. “What I have to say to you is not pleasant, nor is it something I wish
to repeat.”
“Ok…”
I said uneasily, preparing myself for the very worst.
“I
know about you and Zack.”
Her
revelation stunned me. I couldn’t move, I couldn’t even breathe I was so
shocked.
“What
do you mean?” I finally asked. “There’s nothing to know.”
“Don’t
play games with me, Samantha.” She sighed impatiently, folding her arms across
her chest. “You can’t fool me. I know the truth.”
I
could tell she was certain. There was no doubt about it… she knew the truth.