You'll Say Yes (21 page)

He sighed and looked at me. "Not now, Abby. We can talk later." And then he continued his packing.

"When is this later? You've always busy and you never talk to me anymore. Are you avoiding me, Joshua?" I poured out my frustration. I couldn't hold it back any longer.

He rubbed his temple and stared at me. "I'm really busy right now. Please, understand, dear. I promise we'll talk after I come back from the hospital." He picked up his bag and walked past me.

I narrowed my eyes and followed him to the door. "What good is it for us if we can't talk to each other? What good is it for us about living together if we still act like this?"

Joshua stopped at the door and looking at me. He didn't answer me; he was just stared at me. He turned the door knob and I knew after he disappeared from the door, I'll never get him back.

"Don't looking for me if you don't see me when you get home," I whispered to him and ran to my room. I slammed the door shut and leaned to the closed door. I heard the front door closed and I collapsed to the floor. I didn't cry; I just laid there on my bedroom floor until morning came.

I went to work in zombie mode. I ignored all Camila’s comments, Mrs. Bennington's fake kindness and I just drowned myself in my work. I walked to my old apartment on my lunch break. I met with John again and he was angry when he knew my intention to move back. He had promised to give Joshua some lessons, but I disagreed. It was not his fault. John considered me as his daughter. That didn't surprise me if he was acted that way. Apparently, my old apartment was already rented and John offered an apartment from across my old one. He refused my down payment and told me to call him when I was ready to move. I thanked him and returned to my office. By the time I got back, I felt terrible. My head spun and my stomach was hurting. I braced myself until I could get home. Thankfully, the pain subsided so I could drive home. I didn't see Joshua's car in the apartment garage. I didn't care at all. I changed my clothes in hurry because all I wanted to do was lay in my bed.

Finally, the stress from work and the strain relationship with Joshua was taking its toll on me. I woke up in the morning with high fever. My throat felt raw and my stomach hurt a lot. I knew I had to see a doctor, but I couldn't move in this condition. I tried to reach my BlackBerry on my night stand, but I fell to the floor from my bed in the process. My vision was blurry, but I managed to press dial on Thomas' name. He was the only one who I could think to help me.

"Hello," Thomas greeted.

I leaned my head on my night stand. "Thomas?" My voice was only a whisper. If Thomas could hear me, he must have possessed a magnificent hearing.

Apparently, my wish was granted. "Abby?" He sounded panic. "Are you all right? Where are you?"

My head spun. I closed my eyes from the vertigo. "I'm in my room. Please, help me."

I heard Thomas called his wife and then I heard his voice again. "Hang on, Abby. Jennifer and I are on our way there."

And then he hung up. I leaned my head against the night stand again until I heard Thomas and Jennifer's voice calling me. "Abby? Where are you?"

I opened my eyes and lifted my head with all the strength left in my body. "In here." I collapsed again and after seemed like hours, I could feel someone's hand pressed to my forehead.

"She's burning," I heard a female voice. Was it Jennifer? "We need to take her to the hospital."

"You go get the car. I'll stay with her," I heard Thomas's voice.
Thank you, Thomas!

I felt I was lifted by someone. "It's all right Abby. We'll help you." I

tried to nod, but I had no strength left. Before the blackness covered me, I called him.

"Joshua."

And everything went black.

~O~

My body hurts, my head hurts, and everything was hurting. Where am I? I felt light, but also heavy. I could hear voices, but I didn't recognize them. What are they doing here? Why are they here?

"Abby, can you hear me?" I heard a male voice.

The voice...It was familiar to me. Who is he?

"She's still unconscious. Be patient, Joshua."

Jos-hua? The name sounded familiar. But, I felt so sleepy. I needed to sleep.

"Abby," The voice called again and this time it was clearer. It was demanding. I could feel someone holding my hand. Warm. "Don't give up on me, Abby. Please, wake up!"

Okay...but, I wanted my sleep.

~O~

I fluttered my eyes open. I closed them immediately when a bright light attacked my sight. I blinked several times and adjusted my eyes. White ceiling, voices from the intercoms and the smell of medicine. I looked at my clothes.

A hospital gown.

I sighed.

Hospital.

I tried to move, but I couldn't. It felt someone was holding my hand. I turned my head to see a man with red hair sleeping next to my bed. His head was next to my belly. He sat in a hospital chair and wore a white coat. My brain slowly returned to normal and I blinked several times when I finally could gather my coherent thoughts.

I stiffened and apparently my slight movement woke him up. He blinked several times and looked at me. A big smile appeared on his face and he stood from his chair. I couldn't say anything. I just stare at him. What is he doing in here? He didn't care about me.

He cupped my face with his hands and looked at me lovingly. "Abby? Dear? You're awake," He said with happiness. He leaned his forehead against mine. "Thank God, you're all right. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I'm the worst man ever..."

He continued to ramble, but I just closed my eyes. My head was still spinning. I sighed heavily. My throat felt raw.

I swallowed hard.

It hurts.

I closed my eyes.

"Abby? What's wrong?" I felt Joshua hold my body still and begun to check my pulse.

I breathed and managed to choke a word. "Water."

I heard a slight curse and after some rustling voices, I felt a cold glass pressed to my lips. I opened my eyes slowly and opened my mouth.

Joshua helped me to drink and after several sips, I felt better. I leaned my body back onto the pillow and looked at him properly this time. His hair was a mess and there were dark circles under his eyes. He looked like he hadn't slept for days. I raised my hand gingerly and he caught it.

I brushed the dark circles and smiled weakly. "You look awful."

Joshua sighed and chuckled. He mirrored my movements and smiled too. "You look beautiful."

I laughed lightly. "I'm lying in a hospital bed in a weak condition while my future husband said I'm beautiful."

"But, you are beautiful," He said again and stroked my hair lovingly.

I sighed and looked over the ceiling. "What happened?" I could feel him tensed and then he rubbed my palm lovingly. He looked into our locked hands.

"You passed out, Abby. Thomas and Jennifer brought you here." And then he ran his hand through his already messy hair. "I'm the worst man ever. My heart stopped when I saw Thomas caring you into the ER. Jennifer explained everything to me."

Joshua covered his face with our locked hands.

"You have every right to hate me, Abby. I should've taken care of you, but I let you get sick. What kind of man am I? Thomas almost punched me when he saw me. It was a good thing Jennifer was there to stop him. Even though Jennifer wasn't there, he had every right to punch me," He said sadly.

His whole body began to shake.

My heart melted. All the anger I felt for him vanished. All I could see now was a man who tried to do what's best for me, a man who loved me with all his heart, a man who wanted me to be happy and a man who wanted to marry me. The main problem was he didn't know how.

My eyes brimmed with tears and I stroked his hair with my free hand. Joshua raised his head and looked at me. He looked so vulnerable and my heart ached for him.

"Come here," I said to him in smooth voice.

He complied and I enveloped him on a hug. He sobbed on my shoulder. "I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I love you. I love you so much. You know that, don't you? Sometimes I can't control my own actions. I'm just afraid you'll leave me someday. I don't think I can handle that for the second time."

I stroked his hair and his back. I sobbed silently too. I wished there was a way for both of us, a way we wouldn't continue to hurt each other.

"It's all right. We can talk later," I said to him in low voice. My head began to spin again. I closed my eyes and sighed. I held my head with my hand.

Joshua pulled away from my embrace and settled me back onto the pillow. He caressed my cheek. His green eyes were looking at me with sadness. "I'll stay here until you get better. I promise."

I smiled weakly. Joshua leaned down and kissed me tenderly. I kissed him back with the all strength I had left. It was a longing kiss and full of love. I cupped his face with my trembling hands. He broke our kiss and looked at me lovingly. "I love you, Abby."

I nodded and stroked his cheek. The dizziness took control of my brain. I grinned like an idiot. "You're handsome," I blurted out before blushing hard.

He chuckled and kissed my forehead. "Just sleep, my dear. Don't think too much right now. I'll be here when you wake up."

I sighed and tried to relax. I closed my eyes and started to feel tired immediately. Who knew just a simple conversation and a kiss would wear you out? "Joshua?" I mumbled, with all the consciousness left in me.

"Yes, dear?"

"How long will I stay here?"

I could hear he sighed. "Maybe two days. You're so weak, Abby. You need bed rest."

My eyes flew open. "Two days? But, what about my work?"

Joshua frowned. "In the time like this, you’re still thinking about your work?" He shook his head. "I should have let Dr. Keller sedated you."

"What?" I asked in shock.

He smiled and held my hand. "Don't worry, dear. Thomas, Jennifer and I already took care of it. Just focus on getting better or Thomas and my dad will punch me hard."

I blinked. "Your...your dad?"

He grimaced.

It was my turn to frown. "How many people did you tell that I was sick?"

"Well...not much..."

I groaned.

He chuckled again. "Sleep now, Abby. I'll be here when you wake up."

I closed my eyes again when I felt my head start to spin again. I heard Joshua hummed a melody I didn't recognize. His beautiful voice finally lulled me to a peaceful rest.

"You’re still wearing my ring," Joshua said while stroking the ring he gave me on my third finger.

He kept his promise to stay with me, when I woke up two hours later he stayed with me and wouldn't leave at all; even when one of his colleagues, I'm guessing his name was Dr. Keller, checked on me and also when a flirtatious nurse brought me my meal. It was priceless to see the smile on the nurse's face disappear after Joshua told her that I was his fiancée.

He already changed his clothes, although he was still wearing the same shirt and trousers and he wasn't wearing his doctor's coat; he said that his shift was over. He started to stroke my hair and for goodness sakes his strokes felt so tender and comforting, but his words from earlier snapped me back to reality.

I clearly remembered about our distance when he was avoiding me, the time I spent alone in the apartment and the final decision about moving back to my old apartment. I didn't answer him. I had planned to return the ring to him when I moved out and now I was not even sure what I would do with the situation. I stared blankly to our locked hands. I didn't even remember I was still wearing his ring.

And then I felt Joshua caressed my cheek and lifted up my chin so I was looking straight to his green eyes. His eyebrows furrowed. "Abby, is there something wrong?"

I blinked and looked up at the ceiling. "I was about to return the ring before I got sick," I said softly.

I could feel him stiffened and his grip on my hand tightened. "W-what? Why?" From my peripheral vision, I could see the panic on his face.

I looked at my hands. "I was intending to move back to my old apartment."

He sighed. "Abby, please-"

"I can't stay in our apartment any longer," I cut him off. I looked at him. "It was like I was living with no one. It was worse than living alone."

Joshua sighed and ran his free hand through his messy hair. He looked at me with sad expression. "I never meant to avoid you, really. I'm just...afraid."

I raised my eyebrows. Anger filled my body immediately. "Afraid?" I gave him a shaky laugh. "What are you afraid of?"

"I make you cry all the time," He told me. "It's like everything I do is always the wrong. I don't know how to...solve our problem without making you cry."

I snorted. "Do I have to deal with your 'fear' every time we run into problems?" I quoted the word with my fingers. "Are you going to do that every time we run into bumps in our relationship?"

Joshua pinched the bridge of his nose. "I'm sorry, Abby. I really am."

I scoffed. "That's not enough."

Joshua looked at me straight in the eye. "Yes, it's not. But, I promise you I will make it up to you."

I narrowed my eyes. "Do I have to stay at the hospital like this, so I can talk to you about our problems?"

Silence.

I breathed heavily and leaned back onto the pillow. "Why don't you talk to me, Joshua? I'm not made of glass. I've been through hell long before you came to the picture." I saw him flinched hearing my words. I sighed. "I wish there was an easier way for us to get to know each other without hurting both of our feelings."

He still didn't answer me. He was just playing with my fingers. It felt like an eternity when suddenly he spoke, "I met Ryan at my college."

I looked at him curiously. He raised his head to look at me. I encouraged him to continue with my eyes.

"He was studying English Literature and his room was on the same floor as mine," He continued his story. "We were not close nor casually friends either. We were just in the first name basis."

He paused.

"He dated a few girls; sometimes he was successful sneaking some of his girls to his room. Sometimes I could hear their...excitement...from my room."

I went rigid and shuddered. Joshua's grip on my hand tightened again. He never took his eyes off me. "One day he was in my room to borrow my notes and then he saw your picture on my desk; the one that you saw in my room. He complimented you of course, but then he was determined to ask you out and I was blinded by anger. Without thinking I punched him, hard. He was not happy about that and I had to deal with the student counselor afterwards."

He sighed and leaned back to his chair. "We never spoke again after the incident, but I always keep my eyes on him. I was worried he'd get his way to you."

Silence.

I exhaled and shook my head. "Unbelievable," I muttered.

His corner lips turned into a coy smile. "I know."

"Do you think he really followed me?"

Joshua frowned. "No, I don't think so. It must be a coincidence."

I scoffed. "I don't believe in coincidences."

Joshua rubbed his temple. "The chance was one million to one finding you here and I believe he was working on that one part."

I rolled my eyes. "For all of people in this State, why did he have to end with Camila?"

He grinned. "I've told you. He was working on that one part."

I giggled and Joshua smiled back. It was nice to have a joke with him again, even though we didn't solve our problem entirely.

He started stroking my hair again and then kissed the back of my hand; the one that he was still holding. "Please, stay with me. Don't move out," He said softly.

The look in his eyes and his face really broke my solutions. I sighed. I wished I could do. But what'll happen next time? Will he really stay or leave me behind? I gulped. "There is something else that worries me."

He furrowed his eyebrows. "Worries you?"

I nodded.

"Can you please tell me what it is?" He asked pleadingly.

The image of angry Joshua in the bookstore still haunted my memory. Fear crept to my chest and I begun to shake. "Abby?" Joshua called me and cupped my face with his hands. "Dear, please, look at me."

I tried to control my breathing and looked back at him.

He looked at me with pain in his eyes. "I've already caused you pain. I don't want to see you get hurt again. Please, tell me what's wrong."

I gulped. "I...have...never seen you so...angry...before..." I was waiting for his reaction, but he stared at me in confusion. "Like...in the...bookstore..."

Joshua's expression turned into pure anguish. "Oh, Abby..."

I smiled weakly. "I think it's my entire fault too. I was afraid to talk to you because I was afraid you'd be mad at me and...and..."

His eyes searched mine. "And what, dear?"

I decided to voice my fear, the one that haunted me since. "And...you'll end up...hurting me," I said barely audible.

Joshua sighed and moved his hands to my shoulders. He touched his forehead to mine. He looked at me lovingly. "Never in million years will I have a single thought about hurting you. I'd rather kill myself rather than hurt you, Abby. I'm sorry if I scared you. I was so angry at that time, seeing Ryan again and the fact that you've already met him before. I felt like he was taking his step behind my back and I was so afraid he'd use you."

I didn't say anything. I just stared at his shirt and thought of nothing.

He kissed my forehead and lingered there. "I think next time we really need to talk to each other about...things..."

I chuckled weakly and he grinned. He leaned away from me and took two pills with a glass of water from the table next to my hospital bed. I frowned when I saw the pills.

He smiled at me. "These pills will make you feel better. The visiting hours are about to start. You'll never know who will visit you here."

I stared at him confusedly. "Huh?" Who will be visiting me anyway? I looked over at the window and I could tell it was already afternoon.

As if he could read my mind, he put the pills into my palm. He smirked. "Trust me."

I sighed and complied without protest. I looked at him after swallowed my pills. "I wish I could visit you at your work in a normal way."

He smirked. "Well, I'm working at the hospital and it will not be a surprise if I see you here one way or another."

I smiled weakly. "And I can't believe we're spending our quality time in a hospital room."

Joshua chuckled and kissed my forehead. "At least that is one thing I could give for my future wife."

I must say I had to believe him. Not long after he said about visiting hours, Thomas and his wife, Jennifer, appeared on my room. I was so happy I could see them. I thanked them for helping me and Joshua grimaced when he met Thomas' murderous glare. They brought me some books and Sudoku games for me to play when I got bored. In my condition, I was positive that Joshua will be the one who would be playing the games instead of me.

My next visitor surprisingly was my boss, Mrs. Bennington. Apparently Joshua called my office and told my boss about my condition. I rolled my eyes internally. I knew she wished to see Joshua rather than visited me; and she knew Joshua would be by my side. The fact that Joshua was a doctor increased her excitement towards my fiancée. Joshua used his authority of being a doctor to make her leave.

"You should go home and get some rest," I told him after he sent my boss home. He looked so tired and I felt bad about keeping him with me.

He sighed and ran a hand through his messy hair. "No," He said stubbornly.

I frowned. "You need to take care of yourself or you'll end up in a hospital bed too. Just go home tonight and come back tomorrow morning. I'll be fine."

He considered my words and sighed. I knew he knew I was right. I smiled triumphantly. He rolled his eyes. "I'll go home to changed and have dinner, but I'm staying the night here."

My smiled disappeared. "Joshua!"

He smirked. "You're not getting rid of me that easily, Miss Bennett."

I rolled my eyes.

Of course not.

This time it was his turn to smile triumphantly. Really, we were an amazing couple. I laid my head back onto my pillow and his messy hair caught my attention. I remembered the moment when I stayed in the bookstores' bathroom and herd those blond girls' comments about Joshua's hair. I must say his hair was unique; unusually red.

Joshua caught me staring and raised his eyebrows. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

I smiled dreamily. "Your hair. It's unique."

He blinked several times and looked at me in amusement. "You know, Abby, as much as I hate to admit this, but you're adorable when you're sick. You can say some unusual things," He said.

I grinned. Yeah, perhaps there was something wrong with my brain.

He ran his hand through his hair again. "Some of my dad's blood lines are from Ireland. I guess that is the explanation for my red hair."

I raised my eyebrows. "Really?" Well, that's interesting.

He nodded and grinned. "I'm not pure American, you know."

I chuckled.

He smiled and caressed my cheek. "Just get some rest, all right? I'll check on you when I get back." He kissed me softly and without thinking, I knotted my fingers to his hair and kissed him passionately.

He returned my kiss and wrapped his arms to my waist. I gasped when I felt his tongue brushed my lips asking for entrance. I slowly opened my mouth to allow him. He moaned lightly and I pulled myself closer to him. Our kiss turned deeper and our tongue battled against each other. After a moment we had to break our kiss for air.

I smiled to his lips. "I've never imagined I'd make out in a hospital bed with a handsome doctor."

He laughed and kissed me again.

~O~

When I woke up, my window was covered by the curtain. It was already dark outside I was sure. I sighed and realized I was alone. Apparently, I managed to persuade Joshua to go home. I smiled remembering our kiss. Our kisses were always amazing and I've always felt some kind of pull for him that I couldn't control. I looked over the small desk next to my bed and grabbed one of the books that Thomas and Jennifer gave me. It was a romance book. How they thought a romance book would be a good thing to read in the hospital was beyond me. Just as I was finishing the fifth chapter, a nurse knocked my door.

I raised my head and smiled when the nurse same in and put a tray of food on my lap. I grimaced.

Hospital food.

The nurse smiled. "It's dinner time, Ms. Bennett."

I put aside my book and glanced over my dinner. "Thank you..." I glanced to her name tag. Tania McCoy. "Ms. McCoy."

She smiled and checked my chart. I began to eat my dinner even though I was imagining McDonalds' chicken nugget as I ate.

"Forgive me if this is rude, but is it true that you are Dr. Walsh's fiancée?"

I stopped eating and glanced over at the nurse. She was lovely...and blond! I groaned internally. Why must it always involve blonds? I returned to my tray. "Yes, I am." Even though I didn't know how dominant that part affected my feelings for him. I began to eat again.

She put my chart back on my bed and smiled. "You're a very lucky woman, Ms. Bennett. A lot of single nurses and doctors have been trying to get his attention here, but he never returns them. He just said he didn't date," The nurse laughed nervously. "Well, of course, he didn't because he engaged."