You'll Say Yes (28 page)

I laughed again.

blushing_klutz: Thank you, Stella. So, how's Evan?

We continued to chat after that. I momentarily forgot about my complications and enjoyed my time with Stella. She told me about her job and how her boss is going to promote her soon. I was happy for her. Stella has high senses in fashion and a gift of premonition, although it was rarely happened. The one thing I remember was when she told me I'll be accepted in my current office. I was thrilled when I received the phone call informed me they'll hire me. I didn't know it was my luck or because Stella was always right. When I told Stella about that, she just laughed and said, "Never bet against Stella."

Right.

I didn't realize it was already pass lunch when Stella bid me goodbye. I glanced at my BlackBerry and I saw I have 10 missed calls, 3 text messages and 1 voice mail. I had a feeling it was all from Joshua. I didn't hear the calls or the notifications because I turned off the vibrate mode. My heart did a little flip and I took a deep breath. I could imagine what kind of berserk mode Joshua was now. I checked my BlackBerry and I guessed right. It was all from Joshua. I deleted the missed calls and opened the text messages.

09:00

Abby, where are you?

10:30

Dear, please, I'm so worried. Please, tell me where you are and I'll be there.

12:00

Abby, please, come home.

The last message really broke my heart. I sighed and begun to open the voice mail. A warm voice was heard from my phone and my heart turned to the erratic mode again.

"Abby, where are you? Please, answer your phone. Is it about Natalia, isn't it? I swear to you there is nothing between us. I didn't know how she got my number. Please, we can talk about this, all right? Just come home, please. I've called sick to the hospital. I don't want to leave you alone in our apartment with this problem. Please, come home. I'm waiting."

And the message was over.

I stared blankly for a moment to my laptop screen. I sighed and tossed my phone back to my purse. I called the waiter and I ordered sandwich for my lunch. I tapped my fingers on the table and suddenly an inspiration struck me. I opened the office application and begun to type my inspiration. I was so caught up with my world that I didn't realize my sandwich already arrived and almost cold. I ate my sandwich and continued to type. When I've finished, I got four chapters. I blinked several times. Wow, I've just typed a story. I chuckled internally.

I glanced to the window and surprised to see it was already twilight. I sighed and turned off my laptop. I gathered my things and paid the bill. I drove back to my apartment, wondering all the way there how to talk with Joshua about this. I saw the black Volvo in the apartment garage and took deep breaths. Okay, let's get this over with.

I got out from my truck and carried my laptop with me. My heartbeat increased when I stood in front of my apartment door. What will I say to him? What will I do next? I closed my eyes briefly and opened it before I opened the door. I saw Joshua pacing in the living room with his cell phone in his ear. His expression seemed tense and for the moment I felt guilty for making him so worried. But, then I heard he said something that made me regret my decision to come home.

"No, Natalia. I love her, all right. Why can't you see that? And no, it's not because you are not perfect. You are perfect, but Abby is different. She's everything to me. Leave us alone!"

He ended the conversation while I was standing there in a daze. What did he mean by that?

Joshua sensed my presence and turned his head into my direction. He seemed relieved when he saw me, but then he realized something when he saw my expression.

I could see he swallowed hard. "How much did you hear?"

I stared a moment at him before I shrugged. I was acting casual while my heart hurt inside. I was getting better in covering my feelings. "That's enough to know that Natalia is perfect," I answered icily.

I began to walk to my room when Joshua stopped me.

"Wait, Abby, please. Let me explain."

I sighed and looked at him. "There's nothing to explain, Joshua." I started to walk again, but Joshua kept me in my place.

"Damn it, Abby. Let me explain," He said sternly.

I closed my eyes and opened it again only to look at the floor.

Silence.

He said he wanted to explain? Let's hear it!

I lifted my face and turned to look at him. "You have fifteen minutes," I said in a flat voice.

He smiled grimly. "All right. I can take that."

I nodded slowly and walked to the living room. Joshua followed me and we both sat in the couch. I put my laptop bag on the table and folded my arms over my chest.

I stared at him. "Fourteen minutes."

Joshua sighed. "I met Natalia in Canada. We were enrolled in the same school. Our fathers were good friends and they had an intention...to...pair us together," Joshua said slowly. His eyes were worried.

I took a quick breath. My body went five degrees colder. I could feel my heart beating erratically again. I clenched my jaw. "Would you care to explain about that?"

He smiled softly. "I've told you before that my parents thought my love for you was just a crush and they hoped I could find real love with Natalia. My dad began to ask me to go to some occasions with her. But, I never liked her. I was beginning to get suspicious about my dad's intentions and I confronted him one night. My dad confessed and I was angry. Very, very angry. I didn't talk with my parents for weeks. They should have known better. They knew I love you and I've always love you. I was angry with them not because they misunderstood my feelings, but also they put an empty hope for Natalia. I hate to think that Natalia assumed that I like her."

He paused.

I stared at him while trying to control my breathing. Okay, so William and Farah agreed to Joshua and Natalia. If that's so, why did they have to act nicely in front of me? Was it because they really accepted me already or because they didn't want to hurt Joshua's feelings? My world started to spin. I hung my head in my hands to stop the spinning. It seemed childish, but I felt violated. Literally.

"And then as I was afraid, Natalia said she likes me, but I told her that I've already love someone. My revelation set our fathers apart. I felt bad about that, but I can't lie to my heart. I love you, Abby."

Somehow I prayed I've never met Joshua.

I didn't know if I had to cry or laugh or sighed in relief.

I just sat there with my head in my hands.

"Believe me, dear. I didn't like what happened yesterday either. I just want to ask you an important question, but then everything changed so fast."

I stared blankly at the couch in front of me.

I closed my eyes.

I wished I could just disappear from here.

"Abby, please say something," He whispered.

I took several deep breaths and open my eyes. I still didn't remove my gaze from the couch. "Everything was a lie?"

"Lie? What are you talking about, Abby?"

I fisted my hair in my hands. Anger, disappointment and betrayal coursed to my body. It was all useless. All their kindness, even William's words to me when he visited me in the hospital, only deepened the wound. My eyes stung. How could I be so stupid? And now, I fell in love with him. I've been trapped in this web for far too long. A tear escaped from my eyes and Joshua must have seen it. He reached out to wipe my tear, but I swatted his hand.

"Don't touch me!" I spat with a shaky voice.

"Abby-"

"Just leave me alone," I said sternly and rose from the couch. I wiped my tears hastily. I turned around to escape to my room, but Joshua was faster. He blocked my way.

"We're not done yet."

"Yes, we are."

"I will not leaving you crying like that!"

"Well, it's too late for that."

"Abby!"

I swallowed my sobs and narrowed my eyes at him. "So, everything was a lie, right? Why don't you explain to me about all your parents' kindness to me? Do they really love me or simply because they don't want to hurt your feelings?"

Joshua's eyes widened in shock. "Of course they love you. Why did you think otherwise?"

"They want you to be with her, Joshua. Damn it!"

"That was because they didn't believe my feelings for you, Abby."

"And they believe you now?"

He scoffed. "After seeing how miserable I was in Canada, witnessing how I begged my dad to come back to Long Beach every chance that I've got, experiencing how hard I learned to be a good man for you, well, they have to believe that."

"What about Natalia's dad and William?"

"They have a strain relationship first after I rejected Natalia, but then Natalia's dad realized he can't force me to love his daughter. He finally knew I was in love with someone else and it still does."

I frowned. "But, Natalia didn't accept that."

He shrugged. "That's her problem."

"I thought you can read other people's thoughts. Why can't you read your dad's about his intention with you and Natalia?" I asked again.

He sighed. "He lived long enough with me to play with his thoughts. I was just doing good deeds for him at that time, to be friends with Natalia. I didn't love her, Abby."

I scoffed. "I can imagine you'll say that if you don't move back to Long Beach at high school."

He chuckled darkly. "Believe me, dear Abby. I had every intention to move back to Long Beach, even without my parents' permission. Besides, I was planning to move in with Jason at that time."

My eyes widened. "You what?" Did he really mean that?

He shrugged as it was not a big deal. "I had a plan to move back to Long Beach or wherever you are if my dad still remained in Canada. When I turn eighteen, I can make my own decisions."

I shook my head. I couldn't believe I was engaged with a madman. "You're insane."

"No, I'm not," He said softly.

He took several steps closer to me, trapping me between the walls and his body. My breathing was getting shallow. The familiar warmth surged into my core.

"I know what I want and I think I've already said that to you, my dear." He placed both of his hands on either side of my head, keeping me still in my place.

He was such a cheater.

"I want you and not even my dad can stop me."

I gulped and tried to process everything he said to me. He said he will do anything to follow me around. A realization struck me again. Did he work here to...follow me?

Joshua still trapped me against the wall and I looked at his green eyes.

"Did you work here to...follow me?" I asked in whisper.

He smiled coyly and stroked my hair with one of his hands. I almost closed my eyes for the effect, but I forced myself to look at him.

"Yes."

His answer confirmed everything. Again, it was romantic and scary at the same time.

My face softened and I looked at him pleadingly. "But, what about you?"

Joshua looked at me in amusement. "What about me?"

I knew he always wanted to make me happy, but what about his happiness?

"What about the...things...that makes you happy?"

He chuckled again and rested his forehead against mine. He cupped both my face with his hands. "You make me happy."

"Really?" I asked softly. It was nearly impossible when I saw Natalia yesterday. She was beautiful and I couldn't understand why he still chose me. "Because Natalia is beautiful," I said in low voice.

Joshua took a deep breath. "Why don't you see yourself clearly, Abby? You have no idea how many times I want to strangle all the men who undresses you with their stares." He pursued his lips. "Or should I mention that little Joshua who always gives you flowers? I bet he'll wait until he's old enough to marry you if you don't tell him you're already engaged to me."

I rolled my eyes.

He smiled again. "And it will make me very happy if you want to answer my impending question."

Before I could gather my senses, Joshua stared at me deeply with his beautiful eyes and said the words.

"Abigail Annabel Bennett, marry me."

For a moment, I didn't know what happened to my body. I couldn't breathe and I also stopped blinking.

Joshua still stared at me, waiting patiently for my reply.

Marry.

Marry Joshua, as in marriage?

Joshua and I living together, being husband and wife?

Some images from my childhood when my parents got divorced and marriage lives from sitcoms or dramas I've been watched flash through my mind. I mean, can I spend the rest of my life with him? With a man who turned my teenage years up and down? With a man who proposed to me when we were six? With a man who I just fallen in love with? With a man with undeniable sex appeal?

Slowly, I could gather all my coherent thoughts. I was starting to breathe again. He didn't say anything; he was just staring at me. He knew me too well.

"M-marry?" I managed to squeak out. It was more like I managed to choke out.

"Yes."

"You and me...?"

It looks like Joshua was trying so hard not to laugh. "Yes."

"But...but...shouldn't we talk about it first? Like where are we going to live? What about our jobs?" I shuddered slightly remembering my transfer, hoping he didn't notice that. "And what about our future plans? Children?" I continued to ramble.

Joshua narrowed his eyes slightly. "We can talk about that right now. I have plenty of time."

I gulped. "What if...what if...I said…no?" I blurted out. It was more like a test for me. I wanted to know what he will do if I said no.

Joshua stared at me intently and I was sure my knees were going weaker.

"Will you say no?" He asked me.

I swallowed hard. Apparently, it was not a good idea.

"I don't know," I answered weakly. I guessed he'll wait an eternity until I agreed to marry him.

He smiled coyly and leaned closer. "And why is that?"

Our closeness slowly, but surely, clouded my thoughts. He was really a cheater. Joshua leaned down and skimmed my forehead, my eyelids, and my cheek, down to my jaw with his nose. His scent weakens my defense and I almost squirmed from the contact.

"Because...we just knew each other all over again...and...I mean...can we wait?" I hopelessly asked the question. I could feel he smiled against my skin.

"I know you all my life, Abby, and I don't think I can wait for another year. If we were already married, I'll take you right now." He said seductively

I gasped and unconsciously wrapped myself with my arms.

Joshua leaned back and although his eyes glinted mischievously, I could see deep from the inside he'll never do things like that until we were married...if we are married.

"And what makes you think I will say yes?" I managed to ask in coherently this time.

His eyes glinted again and a smirk appeared on his face. "You will. I can make you."

A shiver ran through my spine. I really am engaged to a madman.

I took a deep breath. I really think this is the best time to talk with him about...everything. I looked into his eyes and said, "Can we talk?"

Joshua smiled slightly and took several steps back, releasing me from his trap.

I was nervously playing with the hem of my shirt as I walked back to the living room. I sat down on the couch and Joshua did the same thing.

I exhaled and raised my head to look at him. "So, you...proposed to me?"

He nodded slowly and chuckled. "Yes."

"It's not because Natalia, is it? It's not because you need to escape from her, right?"

He rolled his eyes. "Abby, I had a plan to propose to you at the gala. Even if Natalia wasn't there, I'd still propose to you."

I rubbed my temples. "It's just...I just feel she's different. She could do anything to have you, even if you don't want her."

He looked at me slightly amused. "You can read people's minds too?"

I chuckled lightly. "I'm a girl, Joshua. I can feel those things."

Joshua sighed and leaned his head on the couch. He stared at the ceiling. "She said that I don't have to love her; she could just be a good companion for me. But, spending your whole life with that kind of relationship will kill you from the inside. She might be able to do that, but I can't. I want to love and to be loved back."

Silence.

I blinked several times. I never saw this side of Joshua before. I used to see him as a strong and independent man, always the one who makes the decisions, but never the softer one. And I must admit that I kind of love this side of Joshua.

"Does she know about us? I mean about our...engagement?" My voice was barely a whisper now.

He shook his head, still looking at the ceiling. "No."

I took deep breaths. Some images of my conversation with Stella flashed in my mind. I want to tell him about my transfer and I guess this was the right time.

"Mr. Smith offered me the position in England," I blurted out and bit my lip.

Joshua turned his head and looked at me.

We stared at each other for a brief second.

"And what was your answer?" He asked slowly.

I furrowed my eyebrows. His expressions were a mix with shock and also…worry? Does he want me to stay? I'll be glad to if he says so and I didn't have to go to England. But, seconds later I realized it was because some other reason.

"I didn't answer him yet," I said to him with a wonder expression. "Do you have any other plans in your mind?" I asked curiously.

He fidgeted in his seat and seemed nervous. He swallowed hard. "I...uh...the hospital offered me a scholarship for...uh...my...pediatric." His voice was faltered in the end.

I gasped. "Joshua! That's wonderful!" Without thinking, I jumped from where I was sitting and hugged him.

He chuckled and he hugged me back. I laughed happily and leaned back to look at him. "Your dream is coming true."

He smiled and rested his forehead to mine. "I know. Thank you for staying with me all along, Abby. You are my strength."

I smiled back and caressed his cheek. "Did you accept the offer?"

He sighed. "Not yet."

I frowned. "Why?"

He looked at me with a sad expression. "If you decide to go to England, I'll move with you."

My eyes widened. "What?" I became frantic. "No, Joshua! You can't do that. That's your dream. I can't risk it for you."

"Abby, please, listen to me," He soothed my stiff body by cupping my face in his hands.

I stayed still.

"This scholarship...I can get it in England too. With a good recommendation, I can ask for it there. You don't have to be worry, dear. I just want to be with you. I can't live apart from you. Not anymore."

I exhaled and my shoulders slumped. "But, it's not fair for you."

He chuckled. "Life isn't fair, Abby, and it's more unfair to you if you have to stay here for me. You love your job and I know you give yourself to it. I'll be damned if I take that away from you."

I sighed. "And you decided to tell me now? How long have the hospital offered the scholarship?"

He grimaced sheepishly. "Do you remember when I...uh...avoiding you?"

I went rigid. I still didn't forget that time. Joshua sensed my tense posture and held my shoulders.

"I was so confused. I always make you cry; I don't want to hold you here if you don't want to. I think if I were busy enough, the tension will disappear. But, I thought that was not a good idea either," He sighed and ran his hand through his hair.

"I gladly accept the hospital's offer. That was why I started to work in long hours, not only assisting Dr. Keller, but also Dr. Collins, the head of pediatrics."

He paused.

I sat there in silence. Somehow I felt bad for misjudging him, again.

"When they saw my capabilities, they decided to give me the scholarship. It was after you told me you were one of the candidates. I've talked to the director again and asked them for transferring my scholarship to New York or maybe England. They said it was not a big problem in New York, but they needed some time to transfer the scholarship to England."

Joshua looked at me and smiled tenderly. "Even if I couldn't get the scholarship here, I could ask for the application in England and let them consider it." And then he looked at me with careful expression as if trying not to get me upset again.

"I was thinking a crazy plan," He said, half whispering. "Maybe...just maybe if we were married...the hospital will consider the transfer."

My eyes widened.

Did he...did he...really thought about that?

I heard lots of office's policy could be negotiated if the employee were married or has a family. But, to hear that from Joshua himself made me considered my own option. If we were married and Joshua still couldn't get the transfer to England, will I pass the opportunity and be a good wife? Just stay here and never leave?

I took a deep breath and my face turned sad. I didn't want to marry him so he could follow me to England or wherever it is. How could I make him do all of those things for me? I really didn't deserve him.

Joshua furrowed his eyebrows and stroked my cheek. "Why are you sad?"

"I'm sorry if I was such a burden to you."

"What?" Joshua asked me in a shock.

I sighed sadly. "I just hate this situation. Can we just have a normal relationship with normal jobs under normal situations? Damn it!" That was right. Why didn't we just meet in a better situation? No Scott, no random girls and especially no Natalia. We could live easily right now.

Joshua shook his head and pulled me to him. "I guess we can never be a normal couple, Abby."

I snuggled to his embrace and muffled 'I guess we're not' in his T-shirt. Joshua's phone vibrated from the coffee table. I leaned away from him, thinking he might want to answer it, but he pulled me back.

"Leave it," He said in low voice. It was stern, but not harsh.

Who could that be? Was it...Natalia? I shuddered mentally.

"So, what do we do next?" I asked him. "I mean...about us?"

He sighed. "You definitely have a brighter way of the future and I still need to negotiate with the hospital; to see if I can transfer the scholarship to England."

I raised my head to look at him. "You serious?"

He smirked. "Watch me."

I rolled my eyes and he laughed as hugging me back.

"Abby?"

"Hmmm?"

"Where have you been this morning?"

I sighed. "Just spending my time in a cafe. I just need to get out from here."

I could feel he kissed the top of my head. "I'm sorry, dear. But, please, believe me. It's only you that I love."

I gulped. "I don't mean to pry, but what did you both usually do back in Canada?" I decided to ask him, rather than just guessing around. At least it will soothe some of my insecurities.

Joshua went silent for a moment before answering, "Sometimes we take a walk in the park or read books together. Nothing special."

"When did you realize she likes you? And how did Kimberly know her?" I repressed the shudder when I said her name.

"I've realized it when I started my junior high. She always insisted to go to special occasions with me and somehow managed her dad to persuade my dad too. I've already been suspicious at that time, but I just went along for the sake of my dad. I knew they were good friends. But, Natalia's behavior was beginning to get me frustrated. She was acting like I was already her boyfriend. I confronted her; she wasn't honest with me at first. I confronted her again and then she told me she liked me. She assumed that I like her too and was disappointed when I told her I already love you."

He paused and then stroking my hair.

I closed my eyes from the effect.

"She insisted to know about you, but I never gave her the details. I just told her that your name is Abby. I knew she wanted to become like you so I could love her," He chuckled darkly. "Even if she tried a hundred years, I'll never love her. As for Kimberly, apparently she once spent her holiday in Alaska and she met my dad when he had a meeting with Natalia's dad."

I frowned. "Let me guess. Natalia was there too."

He chuckled again and leaned his chin to my head. "That's correct, dear. Kimberly always thinks her beauty is everything and she felt offended when her beauty didn't affect me. She never understands why I could love you."

I shivered. I must compete with Kimberly too? "Did she-"

"No, not that way," Joshua interjected. "She just thought all men will go down to their knees with just seeing her beauty. I guess I'm the only exception."

I nodded slowly. "I see. And she was more confused when you rejected Natalia too, right?"

I could feel him shrug. "Somewhere like that. She began to tell Natalia about you, of course she didn't know you that well. She only said that Natalia is more beautiful than you and Natalia started to be more confident. But, again, it was nothing for me. I only love you, Abby."