You'll Say Yes (30 page)

"You may see Mr. Smith now, Ms. Bennett." Marianne's voice halted my daydream.

I cleared my throat and rose from my seat. "Thank you, Ms. Philips."

She nodded and smiled while I walked into the elegant office. I opened the large mahogany door and my boss was smiling when he saw me.

"Ms. Bennett. What a surprise. Please, have a seat."

I smiled awkwardly and sat on the chair across from him. "Good morning, sir. I'm sorry if I interrupted your time."

My boss waved his hand. "It's not a big deal. So, is there something that you want to say to me, Ms. Bennett?" His eyes glistened knowingly.

I clenched my fists in my lap and prayed silently this will going to work. I really want to do this for Joshua. "I...would like to take one of my two extra days off, sir." I bit my lip unconsciously.

Mr. Smith grinned. "I've told you before, Ms. Bennett; it was your decision when you will use it. Are you sure you're going to use just one?"

I nodded. "Yes, sir. I will take a day off tomorrow if I may."

He chuckled. "Of course you may. You can use it tomorrow."

I breathed a sigh of relief. All right, phase one is complete.

"Anything else?"

I took a deep breath. Okay, on to the hard part.

"I decided not to accept the offer in England, sir."

Silence.

Please, God, just please don't let him angry with me. I prayed silently.

"May I know why, Ms. Bennett?" He asked.

I swallowed hard. "My...fiancé...has a scholarship for his pediatric degree from his hospital and he had every intention to move along with me to England if I decided to go there." I blushed slightly.

I felt embarrassed to tell my boss a bit about my personal life, but I knew I must tell him. Besides this was the part of why I chose not to accept the offer.

"Go on," He told me.

I twisted my hands nervously. "But, he needs to wait for two more years to do that and," I sighed, "I know it's his dream to become a pediatrician and I don't want to take it away from him. So, I decided to stay here."

I bit my lip.

Mr. Smith looked at me thoughtfully. "I see your point, Ms. Bennett. I must say I'm not too happy with your decision, but there's nothing I can do about it."

He sighed while I still sat there nervously.

"I'm considering transferring you to New York," He paused and I almost squealed happily, but held myself when I saw his expression. "But, apparently Mr. Adams already caused a bad impression here, so I can't take a risk to transfer you there. You're too valuable for us, Ms. Bennett."

I slumped slightly.

"But," He said again with more cheerful tone. "I can give you higher position if you decided to stay here. I'm not giving you my final decision yet. This book launching already caused a mess in this office."

I held myself not to laugh. The next book launching for Mrs. McLane was really a chaos. Everything was ready for this weekend when suddenly she received news from her family in Slovakia that her grandmother is sick. She asked the event to be canceled for the next week and it leaved our office in a terrible schedule.

"I will talk to you again after the book launching was over, Ms. Bennett. Thank you for your presence this morning. Enjoy your day off tomorrow," He said again to me and smiled.

I smiled back and nodded. "Thank you for your time, Mr. Smith. Have a nice day." I rose from my seat and walked to the huge door.

"Oh, Ms. Bennett," Mr. Smith called me again before I could open the door.

I turned around to face him and he smiled genuinely at me. "I hope your fiancé realizes how special you are. He has to be smart to keep you here."

I laughed lightly. "I'll tell him, Mr. Smith. Thank you."

He nodded again and I opened the door. I walked out from the office and said my thank you to Marianne. I smiled to myself as I walked back to my booth. Mr. Smith was right, though. Joshua was smart enough to keep me here.

I sat in my chair while I was arrived on my booth. I took deep breaths and picked up my desk phone. I promised Joshua to call him and told him about Mr. Smith's opinion. I pressed his number on the buttons and waited the dial tone to ring four times before he answered his phone.

"Hello."

I smiled when I heard his voice. "Hello there, handsome."

He chuckled and I grinned happily. "Oh, so this is my beautiful fiancée. Are you busy now?"

I twisted my fingers with the phone cables. "No, not yet. Where are you? Why do they allow letting your cell on?"

"I'm at the employee's lounge now. I'm waiting for your call."

"I see."

"Any news?"

I sighed. "Mr. Smith gave me my day off." I think I must give him the good news first.

"That's great. Anything else?"

"I've already told Mr. Smith about my decision and as I expected he was not too happy about that. He considered giving me a higher position here, though."

"Really?"

I rubbed my temple. "Yeah, he said so."

I could hear he sighed. "I'm sorry, dear. I wish-"

"Will you stop that?" I interjected.

"Sorry," He said again in low voice.

I bit my lip. I didn't mean to harsh with him. Come on, Abby! Think a way! "Just promise me one thing."

"Anything," He blurted out.

I smiled. "Finish your pediatric as soon as possible, all right."

He chuckled. "You have my word, Abby. Is there anything else that Mr. Smith said to you?"

I leaned myself to my chair and looked over the ceiling. "He said he just wished you know how special I am and you have to be smart to keep me here."

He laughed lightly. "I know beyond the shadow of doubt that you are special. I'm a fool if I let you down." And then I could hear a beep sound from the other line. He sighed. "I'm sorry, sweetheart, but I have to go. I'll see you at our apartment and we will have our grocery shopping together. I love you." He hung up the phone before I could say something.

I closed my eyes and finally said the words to the dead line.

"I love you too, Joshua."

My phone rang when I was working on my computer. There were three manuscripts from Kelly Stevens, my previous author, which she wanted me to look at. She asked for my opinion which one was the best to be published first. I answered the phone without removing my eyes from my computer.

"Abby Bennett. May I help you?"

"Abby! Honey! Hi!" My mother's voice rang clearly on the phone.

I raised my eyebrows and smiled. I leaned myself to my chair. "Mom! Hi!"

"Are you busy, honey?"

"Um...not really," I answered her. "Why?"

"Ow, nothing. I just want to tell you something."

I scoffed. "Mom, the last time you called, you've told me I was engaged with my childhood friend. What is it now?" I questioned her playfully.

She giggled. "Oh, yes, I remember that. So, how's Joshua?"

I blushed slightly. "Uh...he's great."

"Great?" My mom asked me in mocking tone. "Great as in a person or great as in another...thing?"

I furrowed my eyebrows. "What thing?" What could my mom possibly thinking?

"You know..." She sounded nervous. "It's all right, honey. You can tell me."

I was getting more confused. "Tell you what, Mom? I don't understand."

She sighed. "You’re still being safe, aren't you?"

Safe? Safe from what? What could possibly...? My eyes widened.

Oh, no! NO!

"MOM!" I shouted at the phone and receiving some glances from my co-workers.

"You're adult woman, Abby. Don't be ashamed."

I was sure my face was red by now. Mix between anger and also embarrassment. "Mom," I hissed to the phone. I couldn't believe I had this kind of conversation on the phone and mostly at work!

"We haven't done that, all right? I'm still keeping my virtue."

"You haven't?" She sounded amused.

My jaw dropped. Shouldn't she happy that her only daughter still keeping her virtue? What happened to the world right now?

"No! We haven't!" I said sternly.

"Wow! How do you do that? He's a very attractive man, Abby. I'm not sure I can keep my hands off from someone like him."

I snorted. "I can't believe I compete with my own mother over my fiancé."

My mom laughed. "Just kidding, Abby. He loves you so much, he will never do something low like that. But, seriously, Abby, you both are living together. Surely, there were times when you both...you know..."

I rolled my eyes. Are we going to have this kind of conversation right now? "Well, we were kissing, yes, and sometimes it was lead to a more...serious...thing, but we haven't done that, Mom." My body was tingling when I remembered the kiss yesterday. I couldn't believe I was the one who pushed him to the physical step.

"I see...so, are you in love with him now?"

My face was getting warm again. "Mom!"

She giggled. "Yes! I know you'll love him someday. He's a good man, isn't he?"

My shoulders slumped. There was no way I said no. It was useless.

"Yes, he is."

"Okay...did he already mention about the engagement?"

What is she? A psychic?

"He..uh...proposed to me yesterday."

"He did?"

"Yes."

"And did you say yes?"

I rubbed my temple. "No, not yet. I just need more time, Mom. I thought you and Dad won't force me to get married soon."

"Of course not, honey. Just do what you have to do and tell me when you accept his proposal, okay?"

I rolled my eyes again.

"All right, back to our topic. I just want you to know that I'm going to Seattle this weekend. Steven has three days off and he decided to go to Seattle. Maybe we could see each other, honey."

This weekend? I instantly remember our trip to Florida and I sighed remorsefully. "Sorry, Mom, but Joshua and I already planned to go to Florida this weekend."

"Florida?" My mom asked in amusement. "Well, that's ok, Abby. Maybe we can see each other again another time."

I bit my lip. "I'm really sorry." I felt bad.

My mom laughed lightly. "Don't feel sorry, honey. I just want to tell you so if you had time we can see each other. Don't worry."

I sighed. "All right."

"Where will you stay at Florida?"

I ran my hand through my hair. "Um...The Walshs own a beach house there."

"A beach house?"

"Yeah, that was what Joshua told me."

"Hmmmm..." My mom sounded thoughtful. "What will you both do there?"

I shrugged. "We haven't discussed that. Maybe tonight."

"Okay, just remember to be safe, Abby."

"MOM!"

She giggled. "I'll talk to you later. Bye, honey. Say hi to Joshua from me, ok! Love you."

I smiled. "Yeah, say hi to Steven, Mom. Love you too."

And the line went dead.

I shook my head and put my phone back to its place. I continued to look over Kelly's manuscripts until lunch time. I walked alone to my favorite restaurant and had my lunch by myself. When I finished my lunch, I paid the bill and walked back to my office. I was thinking to call Joshua when I arrived on my booth. I bit my lip and fingered my BlackBerry. I've never called him personally before, but now I wanted to hear his voice. Will he get suspicious with me? I exhaled and decided to call him nonetheless. I don't care if he knows that I love him.

I pressed the dial button on his name and surprisingly it was only ringed once before I heard his velvet voice.

"Abby?"

My whole body instantly relaxed when I heard his voice. Ah, the power of being in love.

"Hi, Joshua," I said sheepishly. I could feel my cheeks were getting warmer. It was a good thing he didn't see me blushing right now.

He chuckled. "What's wrong, dear? Did you have your lunch yet?"

I smiled. "Yeah, I just did. How about you?"

"I'm on my way to the cafeteria now. Is there anything wrong?"

I bit my lip. "No, there's nothing wrong." I lied.

"Abby!"

I sighed. Damn! I even couldn't lie to him through the phone. "I...uh...just want to hear your voice," I mumbled.

Silence.

Wait! What did I just say? Oh, no!

"Sorry," I said quickly. "Just forget what I said. Go and have your lunch, Joshua. See you at home." I pressed the end button immediately and tossed my BlackBerry to my desk.

I covered my face with my hands. God, what is happening to me?

I heard my BlackBerry vibrated on my desk and I removed my hands from my face to look at the caller ID.

Joshua.

I bit my lip.

Should I answer it?

I stared at my phone dumbly until it was stopped ringing and I breathed a sigh of relief. But, when I wanted to put the phone back to my purse, it was ringing again. Joshua's name appeared again on the screen.

I swallowed hard and gingerly pressed the answer button.

"Yes?" I said slowly.

"Don't you know it's not polite to end the conversation without saying goodbye?" His voice was stern but playful.

"Uh...yes..." I said stupidly.

He chuckled. "I want to hear your voice too, Abby. All the time. Do you have any idea how anxious I am when I only be able to text you, but not to call you? You just save my day right now."

"I did?"

He laughed. "I'll see you at home, love. I love you. So much."

I smiled to myself. "I know. I..." Love you too. "See you at home."

"Bye, Abby."

"Bye, Joshua."

I hung up the phone and lay my head to my desk. I was in a terrible love sick mode and God, please help me!

~O~

I went home at 5.00 and surprisingly so is Joshua. He just parked his car in the garage when I arrived at the parking lot. He smiled when he saw my car and walked to my direction. I turned off the engine and he opened the door for me. He kissed my forehead after I got out from my car.

"Hello, beautiful," He grinned.

I chuckled. "Hello, yourself."

He smiled and took my bag from my hand. He wrapped his hand around my shoulders and as usual he smelled like medicine. I smiled to myself. He unlocked our door and after closing the door, we both sank on the couch. Instinctively, I leaned my head to his shoulder and he wrapped his arm on mine.

"I want to do this forever with you. Just sitting here and doing nothing. Hearing your breathing and hold you in my arms," Joshua murmured in my hair.

I closed my eyes and tried to control my fluttered heart beat. I will explode if I didn't say that I love him, but there was a part of me that won't allowed me to say it and I couldn't put my finger on it. I listened to his heart beat briefly before I opened my eyes. I leaned away and looked at his eyes. Joshua looked back and for a moment we were just staring at each other. His eyes were smoldering and slowly turned darker. My stomach knotted when I saw the longing in his eyes. Slowly, he leaned down and kissed me. The kiss was soft for the first time, but it turned fiercely and passionate when my hands knotted on his beautiful hair. He wrapped his arms around my body and lifted me up so I was straddling him without breaking the kiss.

My body was on fire and I lost some of my coherent thoughts. I didn't care, all I saw was him.

I needed him.

I wanted him.

One of my hands gingerly opened one button from his shirt, testing the water. But, he didn't stop me. His hands were roaming all over my body now and I could feel he was playing with the hem of my shirt. I felt nervous and also excited. I've never done this before and I just went along with my instinct. Our breaths were turned shallow and my hands started to unbutton his shirt. My movements seemed breaking something from him. He growled lightly and beginning to kiss my neck down to my collarbone. I could feel he was started to unbutton my shirt too and as much as I wanted him to stop I couldn't do it. My body wanted to feel him touching my bare skin.

I trembled when I saw his bare chest. He was beautiful and I greedily touched his skin. He moaned lightly when my hand made contact with his chest while I gasped when I felt him sliding down my shirt along with him touching my shoulder.

"Abby...my Abby...so beautiful," He whispered in my ear.

His words broke all of my coherent thoughts.

I wanted to be his.

Right now.

I attacked his lips with mine and dropped his shirt from his shoulder. He hugged me closer while I was continued to touch his skin. I could feel he was toying with the clasp of my bra when suddenly my responsible thought snapped me back to reality.

Don't do this now, Abby. Think about him. He didn't know how you felt. Tell him first!

I gasped when I came back to reality. Joshua was kissing my shoulder now and my core instantly turned to Jell-O. I tried to breath between the lust and the coherent thought.

"Joshua," I whispered to his ear. My voice was still husky and I was sure he thought I was encouraging him to continue.

"Yes, my love?" He kissed my neck again and I swallowed hard.

"We..can't do...this now..." I said weakly with the last strength from my responsible side.

"Why not? You're mine after all," He said again and slid one of my bra straps from my shoulder.

I gasped and leaned away from him. As much as I wanted to continue, but deep down inside I knew I'm not ready. That was why I still had my responsible thought to stop.

My sudden movement stopped him from what he's doing. He looked at me with lustful eyes and his breathing was still shallow. His dark eyes suddenly turned to the hazel that I loved and his face softened when he saw my shocked expression. I quickly put back my bra strap and grabbed my shirt from the floor. I stood up and turned away from him. I put back my shirt with trembling hands. God, how could I be so stupid. I wasn't ready, but I pushed him nonetheless. I was bad.

And then I felt two strong arms wrapped my waist. I still stood there, stunned. He gingerly turned me around to face him and lifted my chin to look at his eyes. They were full with worry...and guilt.

"Did I hurt you?" He asked tenderly.

I shook my head. My hands still clutched my shirt unconsciously.

"Am I scaring you?" He asked again.

I gulped. "A little," I answered in shaky voice.

He sighed and gingerly hugged me. I was tense for a moment and then my body relaxed. "I'm sorry, love. Please, don't be afraid. I won't do that if you are not ready yet. I'm sorry."

I took deep breaths and he kissed my hair. I nodded slowly. "It's ok," I managed to say.

Joshua leaned away from his embrace and looked at my eyes. "What I did was inappropriate. I'm really sorry, Abby."

I smiled grimly. "I know."

He sighed and leaned his forehead to mine. "You are so beautiful. I don't know how long I can control myself around you."