Yours Unfaithfully (44 page)

“Tim, I said I didn’t miss Ben because he is a thick, stupid waste of space. That doesn’t mean I want to spend the rest of my life on my own, ringing you for the occasional sexual encounter. I want to be loved, respected and wanted. That’s what every woman wants.”

“So how do we go on from here?”

“You have to decide that, Tim, you have to work it out for yourself, whether Mel wants you or not. When you know the answer to that you might know whether you want me, the way I want you. Until then we go on with our clandestine meetings, OK?”

“If you say so, Neen.”

On the drive home Tim shuddered at his ability to deceive Mel, to behave as if everything was normal, and yet he couldn’t say he hadn’t enjoyed the time spent with Neen. He had. That must mean something, because if his love for Mel was as it should be, what had happened on the common would have been impossible.

Mel greeted him warmly as he walked in the kitchen, “You’re back sooner than I thought, didn’t her highness want your services today?”

“What do you mean... ? Oh sorry, Veronica, no she’s meeting a friend.”

“Well who did you think I meant, The Queen of bloody Sheba? What’s the matter with you? Ever since I’ve been back it’s like you’re in another world. Is there something you’re not telling me? If you’ve got a problem share it with me, please, that’s what we’ve always done isn’t it? You’re not ill are you; if you are get yourself booked for a check up, OK?”

“OK Mel, but I’m fine, honestly, just a bit tired that’s all.”

“Well perhaps if you got back earlier from the Globe you could get to bed earlier and that might help us. You know what I mean, it might help us to sort out the other problem.”

“You’re right, I will.”

“Tim, the kids are all out, Trudy’s with Amy, Henry’s playing football and James is at music all day. He’s gone with a friend whose mother is driving them... that means we’ve got the house to ourselves.” She looked at Tim in a knowing way, as if she was making him a present, a present of herself. Three hours ago he would have been over the moon at her suggestion, he’d have had her halfway up the stairs by now, but this was awkward. He wouldn’t be much good as a lover right now. His head was still recovering from another experience, as was his body.

“Well don’t look so enthusiastic, Tim, Christ. I’m offering it to you on a plate and you need time to think about it! Don’t bloody bother, I’ll do some work on the laptop, better still I could go into the office and work for the rest of the day, then you wouldn’t have to even look at me.”

“Sorry, Mel, I wasn’t hesitating, I was... just thinking about your proposition. It’s a great idea, of course I want to, come on.” He took her reluctant hand in his and put his mind into damage limitation mode. Hopefully he could fully recover the situation before she changed her mind and went into a sulk; if she did it would last for days.

Once upstairs he tried to turn on his desires, he tried to induce in her the feeling of being wanted, wanted so strongly that nothing else mattered, but his efforts were limp. He wasn’t convincing himself, let alone Mel. She tried as well, but after five minutes she got off the bed and started to dress.

“I don’t know what’s wrong, Tim, but I think you probably do? You’d better see a doctor or get this sorted out. We can’t carry on like this.”

She left the room and he laid there thinking how he had managed to mess up yet again.

He dressed and went downstairs. Maybe he’d go out and buy her flowers, suggest a meal together tonight, not at the Walnut Tree. He saw her putting her shoes on.

“Where are you going, Mel?”

“I’m going round to see if Neen fancies going shopping with me. If she does I’ll be out until five or later. Get yourself something, see you later,” and with that she was gone.

Shit, not now, please. This was the worst possible moment for her to land on Nina’s doorstep. She’d spend the next five hours telling Nina what a lousy state the marriage was in and Nina would repeat it all to him on their next meeting. Yes, there would be a next meeting; for one thing it was the only time he could find satisfaction. He needed those stolen moments with Neen as much as she needed him, but for different reasons. Without her he would begin to think he was unable to function in that department. A failure in bed – wasn’t it what every man feared most? But he knew that with Nina he could do everything asked of him. It was only with his wife, where it mattered most, that he was a total failure.

Nina was readying herself for a Friday evening out with Hugh, her new boss. He’d told her this morning that he had two tickets for a West End show this evening, but the lady friend who had been going with him had cancelled at short notice to fly out to Hong Kong for a business meeting.

“We’ve been friends for years,” he’d explained. “Twice a year we have a night at the ballet or a show and dinner in town, so Nina, I was wondering if you’d do me the honour of being my companion for the evening?” The offer was as much to do him a favour as her but given that her only other option was to spend another night alone in front of the TV it didn’t take her long to accept. She’d pretended to phone a friend to cancel a previous dinner date, in an effort to play hard to get, but Hugh probably saw through that, understanding that she had to feign reluctance before gladly accepting his offer.

He duly thanked her and arranged for a car to pick her up from home and take her to the centre of town where they were to meet. As she looked out from behind her curtain for the taxi she congratulated herself on her new found status. She was keeping pace with Mel with her promotion and even an upgrade in her social life, although annoyingly she had to admit that her good fortune had more to do with Mel’s friendship with Ratty than anything she had done to impress Hugh.

The show was brilliant and they left with that larger than life feeling that follows a truly great stage performance. When Hugh offered her a nightcap at his flat in town she never even considered turning it down. She was well aware that once they said goodnight she would once again be alone in a taxi on her way to an empty house in Willow Brook. Far better to make the evening last as long as possible, and Hugh was the most charming man she’d spent an evening with in half a lifetime.

His flat left her speechless. High up on the sixth floor of a beautifully restored building overlooking the river, it was intoxicating. Classic furniture spread out across rooms that were bigger than her entire house and deep pile carpets that required serious effort to walk across.

This was living; really living. Not existing which is what she did in Elmthorpe. Hugh sat beside her on the antique leather settee and poured her another cognac. They chatted and laughed as if they’d known each other forever and before long the gap that separated them had vanished into thin air. Once their bodies made contact the mood was unstoppable and an hour later they climbed into Hugh’s four poster bed.

Monday morning was never a favourite with Nina and the sudden change to wet weather matched her mood as she made her way to the office. If Hugh was expecting more of the good mood she was in when she’d left his place on Saturday morning he was to be disappointed.

His ever present smile did nothing to raise her spirits. She ignored his welcome, preferring to dump herself at her desk and launch into her work. She’d spent most of the weekend reflecting on her assignation with Hugh and the intimate outcome.

She was certain now that she had been steamrollered into that sexual encounter with him, one that she had not been prepared for and never wanted. Each time she’d spotted Tim at the weekend she’d felt remorse for having cheated on him, even though he kept protesting that their relationship was at an end. She knew he couldn’t mean it, not after the fulfillment they’d found together while Melanie was away, and even since she returned.

She turned things over in her mind again and again well into the night, which was partly to blame for her present mood. Sleep deprivation wasn’t something she could cope with at the best of times, and these were definitely not the best of times. Her initial pleasure at being wanted by two men had quickly evaporated into a feeling of being used.

She reserved the bulk of her anger for herself, for being so willing to jump into bed with a man she hardly knew, for cheapening herself so readily. She decided that his smile was less a measure of his respect for her, simply an indication of his joyful anticipation of their next rendevous in his luxury pad overlooking the river.

Well, he could forget that, just as he could forget any thoughts of her being friendly to him today. He had used her and she would punish him. He would see the effects of messing with her; this office would be a tinder pile today, liable to ignite with one badly chosen word.

“Nina, you don’t look too happy, is anything wrong?”

“What do you think?”

“I don’t know, what am I supposed to think?”

“I thought you were the clever one around here!”

“Nina, I’m getting the distinct impression that your discontent is directed at me ... I thought we’d become friends, I thought we’d found something quite special together.”

“You thought, you thought ... all you thought of was getting me into your expensive bed in your lavish flat. Put another tick on your chart have you? Do men still carve notches on the bedpost? It would be a shame to vandalise such an expensive asset I suppose, no doubt someone as sophisticated as you will add my name to an excel spreadsheet instead.”

“Nina, you’re upset, let’s nip out for a coffee and you can explain to me what you think I did wrong.”

“Hugh, we are not nipping out for anything, you know what you did wrong and why I’m upset.”

“When you left my house on Saturday you were content ... what’s changed?”

“I’ve had time to think, that’s what.”

“You think I took advantage of you ... is that it?”

“Well didn’t you?”

“No Nina, I took
you
as willingly as you took
me.
”

“But I wasn’t
yours
to take Hugh. I should have told you then, there’s someone else. I betrayed that someone on an impulse. Because you are so full of charm I forgot where I was, who I was with, you knew I was going through a difficult time and you took advantage of that to woo me into your arms and then into your...”

“Into my bed. I know what we did Nina; I just don’t buy this story that you weren’t as willing as I was.”

“I’m lying? Is that it?”

“I’m saying you’re upset, you need me to reassure you that the things I said were true. I meant every word, I want us to be long term friends ... and more if you want it.”

“I think I know what ‘reassure’ means Hugh, it means we go back to your place for more of the same, right?’

‘Wrong, Nina, it means we sit and talk this thing through until you understand that I have some real feelings for you, not just sexual ones but caring ones.”

“Hugh, the other day was a mistake on my part. From now on we just work together and that’s it, OK? I don’t want to mention what happened again.”

“I’m very sorry you feel this way, Nina, but I’ll try to respect your wishes. Let me just tell you, it will be hard, very hard.”

“Is that because I’m the first woman who failed to be mesmerised by your charms, Hugh?”

“Like I said, Nina, I’m very sorry.”

Hugh returned to his office, aware that in her present state of mind reasoning was out of the question. He hoped she would see things differently in a day or two, but right now he wouldn’t have put money on it.

As soon as the kids had finished tea they shot off as usual, leaving Nina to clear up before sitting down to another evening on her own. ‘Quality time’ she called it when she didn’t want to face the fact that she was set to spend every evening alone from now on.

As she sipped her wine a plan came into her head, one that might allow her to spend some ‘quality time’ with Tim, but it would require careful handling.

She started by calling Ben’s mobile.

“Hello ... This is Ben ...”

“Ben, it’s Nina ... how are you?”

“Neen, is it really you? I didn’t expect you to phone me... what’s wrong, is it the kids?”

“Yes, can I explain?”

“Of course, Beckie’s out for an hour so take your time and tell me what’s wrong.”

“The kids are missing you a lot.”

“Oh, I suppose that’s normal. Not much we can do about it though, is there?”

“I think there is, Ben. I’ve been thinking, why don’t you take them away for a week?”

“But they’re back at school now, it’s too late for this year.”

“I could get permission to take them out of school.”

“Do you really think it’s worth it? I mean, is it that important?”

“I do, think so Ben, in fact I’m quite positive it is.”

“Nina, I can’t afford hotel bills to take Beckie away, let alone five of us, you realise I’d only go if Beckie went as well? This isn’t an attempt to split me and her up is it?”

“No, Ben, it’s not, and why would I have any interest in doing that? I don’t want you back, not now, not ever, but you can’t abandon the kids quite so easily.”

Ben tried to absorb all of this, but it was sudden and he had never been a quick thinker. He struggled for the right answer. “I might be able to take them camping, but even then I’d be struggling for money.”

“Ben, If you get it sorted to take them away for a week I’ll help with the cost, but on one condition. You don’t tell anyone I helped pay for the trip, not even Beckie, is it a deal?”

“OK, I’ll talk to Beckie tonight and check out with work tomorrow. I’ll call you tomorrow night and let you know, OK?”

“I’ll tell the school tomorrow that they’ll be off from Monday for a week, you make sure you fix your end of it. Goodbye Ben.”

Beckie was puzzled at Nina’s sudden desire to have Ben assume his role as father. She was suspicious that the trip was concealing an attempt to get Ben back by using the kids as bait. She knew it was unwise to try and sabotage the trip, better to join in and have as much fun as possible with the kids. This way they’d enjoy coming to stay with them and Nina’s plot would fail miserably.