Read Yours Unfaithfully Online
Authors: Geraldine C. Deer
Tim’s return to the table was met with silence. The children were at last all quietly eating and the adults preferred not to speak until they knew what he was going to do next. He gave a weak smile, said he had choked on his fish. Might have been a bone, he explained, though nobody believed him. Conversation was strained now and the happy atmosphere in which the meal has started was gone. When it was time to leave, no one was sorry, the children had eaten their fill and couldn’t wait to get out instead of having to sit quietly while the adults finished theirs. They decided to skip coffee and make for home.
On their way out to the cars, Nina caught up with Melanie. “Mel, why don’t you put the kids to bed and then come round to mine for a drink and a chance to unwind?”
“That’s a good idea, Neen, I can’t face Tim in his present mood. I’ll say good night to the kids and then let Trudy put them to bed, after all she’s had plenty of practice.”
On the drive home, Tim struggled to make amends for his outburst. “I’m sorry about that Mel. I’m just a bit tense, you know, having not seen you for so long.”
“Do you think that can excuse you from ruining the meal and embarrassing Trudy and Nina? I wished we had never gone out. I can tell you one thing, I will never go there again. The Maitre de was looking at us for the rest of the meal. We lowered the tone of the restaurant, everyone saw what you did, and you not only showed yourself up but all of us as well. That was the worst night out I have ever had. I think it best if we don’t speak about it. I’m too upset to talk to you anyway.”
“So does that mean that when we get home you still won’t talk to me?”
“What you really mean is, will I sleep with you tonight, right...? what do you think?”
If Tim was feeling bad already, things had just got a whole lot worse. After a month apart she was refusing him the very essence of his relationship with her. He was desperate to be intimate again. How could she punish him like this. It was unfair. His behaviour hadn’t been all his fault, she had provoked him, she had goaded him to react as he had. She had better change her mind or he would really get angry. He had put up with enough. He’d let her go to Poland, but now it was time she did what he wanted for a change.
“Mel, I’ve put up with a lot lately, please don’t push me too far or ...”
“Or what Tim ...? What will you do? Leave me like Ben left Nina, or will you start having your meals at the Globe again? Tim, listen carefully, I don’t care, OK?”
Melanie bundled the kids into the house. Trudy had ridden in Nina’s car and she took charge once inside the house. Melanie kissed each of the kids goodnight and then turned for the door.
“Where are
you
going?”
‘I’m going next door, don’t wait up.’ With that, Melanie slammed the kitchen door and was gone.
Nina sat her down on the sofa and, after filling two glasses with Chardonnay sat beside her.
“Are you all right?”
“No, Neen, I’m not. We had a blazing row on the way home in the car. He’s got a bloody nerve, thinks he can order me to do whatever he wants, like sleep with him tonight. Not a chance, not after the way he’s behaved.”
“Tell me about your trip, Mel, there must be loads of things to tell. How was that boss of mine? Amorous as usual?”
“Yes he was, but he’s a man, a real man, he knows how to treat me, he makes me feel like a lady. Tim makes me feel like shit. God, I can see now why I found it so easy to spend my evenings with Ratty, we’re on the same wavelength, we like the same things, same food, same wine, same books, same plays. What do Tim and I have in common? Nothing!’
“Well, you have three kids, Mel; I suppose that’s something you have in common.”
“I have three kids; Tim doesn’t do anything for them. On the phone I kept asking Trudy if he was spending time with them, No she said, he’s too busy at the moment, that was her reply every day. Too busy. He’ll always be too busy, out with his mates or working or finding some excuse not to bother with them. No, Neen, he did his bit when they were conceived, he opted out after that, his hard work was over then; the rest of their lives are down to me. He only thought I would have sex with him ... after the way he showed me up in there. He must be joking. I’d rather sleep with the cat than sleep with him.”
“So Ratty was the perfect gentleman? I’m surprised, I was sure he’d use the opportunity to try it on with you.”
“I never said he didn’t ... I said he knows how to treat me, treat me properly.”
“So he did try it on?”
“Of course. I would have been shocked if he hadn’t, I’m not that unattractive I hope.”
“And you said no, of course?”
‘Did I? Let me think ... yes, most of the time I said, ‘No Ratty, I’m a married woman, behave yourself’.’
“Most of the time? What about the odd time when you didn’t say no?”
“Then I said yes.”
“Christ Mel, are you serious ... are you saying you slept with Ratty?”
“What if I did, Neen, is it such a big thing? I’m a woman, he’s a man, we needed each other. Maybe we can’t satisfy those needs except together. I don’t regret what I did if that’s what you want me to say.”
“I don’t want you to say that, of course I don’t, if he made you happy I’m pleased for you. I’m just shocked, that’s all.”
Nina’s head was spinning with this news, what an opportunity to confess her affair with Tim. It would have to be said one day. She couldn’t live with a lie forever and somehow it seemed that Mel was far more concerned with Ratty than she was with Tim.
“He made me happy, Neen, I know it’s not right and all that....but I spent one whole beautiful night with him. I’ve never experienced such a lovely feeling in my life, a feeling of being wanted, and after we’d made love he held on to me. He wouldn’t let go of me, he cuddled me until I fell asleep. I don’t think I can find it in me to sleep with Tim for the moment. I need to sort my head out first.”
“So you liked Poland?”
“I loved it, Neen, I’m definitely going back there, to the same hotel, to the lake. I want to take the children there. There’s so much for them to do, it’s amazing. Anyway I could bore you for hours with talk of what we did out there, but tell me what happened here, when Tim was going on about the zoo and all that. Did you talk to him?”
“Yes, I spent hours talking to him. I listened to him going on about you not being here, where, according to him, you should have been. He was round here most nights for food. He was getting home too late to eat with Trudy and the kids, so I cooked enough for two. One night in particular he was very upset. I thought he was about to fly out to find you. I had to ply him with drink to talk him out of it.”
“Thanks, Neen. God it would have screwed things up for me if he’d shown up there. Can you imagine how Ratty and Hugh would have reacted to a jealous husband disrupting our negotiations?”
Nina laughed. “I’ve never heard it called ‘negotiations’ before. So what was Hugh Ballantyne like? I’ve spoken to him on the phone at work but I haven’t met him yet, he’s pretty high up in Stellar Haufman. He doesn’t mix with the likes of me, I’m mere pond life in his world.”
“Hugh is a lovely man, fabulously mature, looks a bit like Richard Gere, definitely a man you couldn’t say no to. Unfortunately he never asked me.”
“Just as well, sounds to me like this trip was one long orgy.”
“It was certainly better than a holiday, Neen, it was a fulfilling experience, one that changed me, gave me the chance to find out who I am, what I am ... I’m not the same person I was when I left.”
“Where does that leave Tim?” Nina had more than a passing interest in her answer.
“I don’t know. Before I left we were right back on course, Tim had just started his new job, got out of those dirty stinking bloody overalls at last, we were even good in bed again, but I don’t feel the same now. Perhaps I need more time to adjust ... or maybe it’s more serious than that.”
Nina filled their glasses again, conscious that Mel was in no hurry to go home.
“Have you heard anything from Ben? Still with Beckie is he?”
“Oh, very much so, He’s a part of my past now, Mel, We won’t be getting back together.”
“Sorry, Neen, sounds like you don’t want to talk about him?”
“About who... ?” She laughed to underline the finality of her relationship with Ben.
“I suppose I’ll have to go home sooner or later, to whatever awaits me? Mel emptied her glass and stood up.”
“We’ll talk again tomorrow, Mel. Try to get a good night’s sleep.”
They hugged each other and said goodnight.
Melanie pushed the kitchen door open. At least he hadn’t locked her out. She slipped her shoes off, turned out the kitchen light and crept up the stairs. The bedroom light was out, maybe he was asleep. But that thought was quickly dispelled.
“I’m glad you’re back ... please let me say sorry for earlier.”
The pleading in his voice made Melanie more sympathetic than she’d intended.
“It’s OK, I know you’ve been upset while I’ve been away. Let’s get a good night’s sleep. Tomorrow things might look a little better.’
If Tim had hoped for more, he knew he had no chance, but at least she was talking to him. She was saying it might be all right tomorrow. Might be? She wasn’t saying it would be; only maybe, perhaps she was playing for time, trying to get through until the morning when she would tell him she was finished with him. Why had he behaved so badly? His wife had come home and within hours he had screwed up big time.
Tim was up early preparing breakfast for the children while they watched TV then, taking coffee and toast up to Melanie, he tried to act as if nothing was wrong. She could hardly be cross with him for bringing her breakfast in bed. She seemed content as he sat on the bed and made conversation with her while she dispatched the toast and coffee. He was doing his perfect husband routine, they both knew that, but even if she didn’t buy it, it was preferable to another argument.
“What would you like to do today Mel? We could go out somewhere. I could give you a real treat and take you out in Simon’s car. He wouldn’t mind and, by the way, Veronica, his sister, wants us all to go over to the Manor for a meal one evening. I said I’d have to ask you first, but it would be nice, don’t you think?”
“I think it would be lovely. You fix it for any night you want, and as for my plans... well I’ve only got one plan right now ...”
“What is it?”
“To get you into bed and discover what I’ve been missing all this time.”
She knew this would set Tim up for the day, which in turn would make the house a pleasant place for the children, Trudy and herself, but there was another reason she wanted him to make love to her ... she needed to know if she would feel the way she did before she’d gone away. It was imperative and urgent that she should know if her body would feel what her head wanted from her husband. This was the only way she would find the answer.
“Tim looked at her as if he’d just won the lottery.”
“Shut the door,” she said, “and get in here.” She peeled back the covers. Tim did as he was told, afraid to hesitate in case she changed her mind. After last night this was not at all what he’d expected.
She pulled her nightdress up over her head, giving him the full view of her naked body. He responded by taking off his clothes and climbing in alongside of her. He put his arm around her and set about seducing her.
Melanie tried to relax and give Tim time to achieve the desired result, but her frustration mounted as she accepted it wasn’t going to happen. She encouraged him until he completed his task, but the physical act was nothing without the emotional fulfillment she so desired. She gave no outward sign of her disappointment, preferring to let Tim think she had been suitably aroused by his efforts.
Not discerning her disappointment, he assumed he had succeeded. He knew however that he had failed to find the excitement and sensation that he felt each time he’d made love to Nina.
As the day wore on both of them reflected secretly on partners who were more in touch with their sensual side, neither aware they had the same problem. Melanie blamed herself for Tim’s inadequate performance, while he was sure Melanie was still affected by last night’s troubles, so both determined to try harder next time.
Monday brought the first rain for weeks, but nobody complained at the much needed water. Melanie drove to work in depressing weather conditions which matched her mood. Once at the office it was entirely different. She was welcomed by John Higgs, who took great pleasure in showing her to her new office, on the top floor, as promised before she’d set off for Poland.
“Well done, Melanie,” he said, “you pulled it off rather well, just as I expected. Stellar Haufman are delighted with your work, which has justified the exorbitant fee we charged them for your services. Hugh Ballantyne has written in glowing terms about your input to the project, a mention that will not go unnoticed at the highest level of the bank. In short Melanie, you’ve made it, you’ve arrived. In addition, Mr Rattani Naziree of Hoggart, Smith-Adams has also confirmed that you made suggestions and recommendations which have been incorporated into the final contract. Praise doesn’t come any higher than that, heaped on you by these two gentlemen. You must have made an exceptional impression on them both, for they have also indicated that you will be requested on all future projects for Stellar Haufman.”
“In case you don’t know what that means, let me explain. It tells the bank that they want you as much as they want this bank. It means you couldn’t be fired even if you tipped coffee over the CEO’s head. It means if you moved to another bank, Stellar Haufman would move with you. It means you are impregnable. Very few of us ever achieve that distinction Melanie, all I counsel is that you use your power wisely.”
Melanie looked around her new office with wonder. Two months ago she was convinced she was a failure, she was cracking up, she even expected the bank to sack her. Now she had her own office, a desk that rivaled Heathrow’s third runway and a salary the like of which she had never dared dream of, and she was being told she was impregnable. A knock at her half open door brought her back to reality. A fashionable young woman clutching a notepad stood with one foot inside the door, as if afraid to enter.