Yuletide Cowboy (16 page)

“M
omma, where is Chance?” Gavin asked. It was Christmas Eve night and she was tucking them into their beds.

“He was supposed to be here for baby Jesus' birthday,” Jack said.

Both boys were tucked in and staring up at her with their wide eyes. They'd been asking about Chance for the last two days. Ever since Dottie had brought them home the morning after the ball they'd been confused.

She'd waited too long to figure out that the best way to protect them was to play it safe. Chance disagreed with her but she couldn't help that. In her mind she'd waited too long and now she knew this breakup was going to hurt them. But it wouldn't hurt as bad as it could have if she'd kept on seeing Chance and things hadn't worked out. No. Despite the fact that it was going to hurt them now she knew it was better this way. Her own heart—well, she couldn't think about that.

The thought of actually crossing the line into giving control of her life over to someone else again scared her to death. Yes, Rose and Stacy had moved on. But
everyone dealt with abuse and heartache in different ways. She'd thought she was the strongest of all the women when she'd boarded the bus and headed to Mule Hollow. Well, she wasn't. She couldn't resolve her feelings about the past and she couldn't move forward into a relationship, no matter how desperately she wanted it to work.

But still, she hated to tell Gavin and Jack that Chance wouldn't be coming around anymore. And she couldn't bring herself to tell them now, on the eve of Christmas. But what else could she do? She'd walked right into this.

She sat on the edge of Jack's bed, which was a mere arm's length from Gavin's. “Chance isn't going to be here in the morning,” she said gently and saw their expressions fall instantly.

“But why?” Jack asked.

Gavin sat up. “He promised.”

Because I can't let him be here.

“But Santa Claus is coming and we're gonna read the story of baby Jesus 'cause that's what Christmas is really about,” Jack said solemnly.

She smoothed his hair and kissed the top of his head. Then she moved to Gavin's bed and hugged him. “Come on, lie back down. We'll talk more in the morning but right now you two need to go to sleep.”

“He's gonna come,” Gavin said. “He said a man's word was his bond.”

“Yeah,” Jack said, bolting upright. “His integ-itchy means everything. God wants us to grow up to be that.”

Lynn's stomach twisted and her heart felt heavier than
it already was, which was hard to believe. “It sounds like you've been having lots of interesting conversations this week.”

Both boys' eyes were solemn. “We want Chance to be our daddy, Momma,” Gavin said.

“We done asked God for him,” Jack said.

Lynn swallowed the lump in her throat, felt the scald of tears fighting for release and the burn in her heart—she wanted this for them, too. She wanted Chance but…she had to make the right choice.

“Let's say our prayers, guys, and then get some sleep. Tomorrow will be a good day.” She pushed other thoughts from her head and concentrated on the celebration of Jesus' birth.

Both boys closed their eyes and prayed for Chance to be their daddy.

 

Lynn hardly slept. She lay down but her heart was heavy and her thoughts were full. She'd missed Chance so much since sending him away. She pulled her Bible into her lap and stared at the verse that jumped out at her. Jeremiah 29:11, “‘For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord. ‘Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'” It was the life verse of the shelter. It was a verse she grasped with all her heart. But she'd believed she was seeing her future here in this house with her boys. And then Chance entered the picture, and all the pain of her past was stirred up and the clarity she'd thought she'd found was muddied up as thick as riverbed sludge.

She'd prayed for God to give her peace to help her
through this, and she'd yet to find any relief. Sending Chance away had only made it worse.

And now she realized he'd been teaching her boys all week things a man should be. He not only had been teaching them through his actions but also through his words. A man of integrity. That's what he was. And she'd turned him away.

 

It was five o'clock when something startled her and her Bible slid off her lap beside her. She glanced at the clock and realized that she had dozed off at some point.

“Lynn.”

A tapping sound on her window had her bolting straight up, and she was sure she heard Chance calling her name. What?

Scrambling out of bed she hurried to the window. She yanked her housecoat on over her red flannel pajamas and peeked through the curtain. Sure enough, standing in the pale morning darkness was Chance. Tiny sat at his feet looking at him adoringly.

When Chance saw Lynn he smiled. “Can we talk?” he asked.

She nodded, dropped the curtain and almost broke her neck rushing to the back door.
He was here!

She unlatched the door and hurried out onto the small porch. Chance stood there waiting, strong and steady.

“You came.” Her words were breathless.

He nodded, and looked slightly confused by her greeting. “Lynn, I love you. It's been killing me to keep away from you and the boys, but I'm doing it because
you asked me to. But I gave them my word, so I have to ask you if I can show up here in a little while.”

He'd come.
The words kept ringing in her heart and head.
He came. He kept his word to her sons. He was asking her permission. He loved her…he loved them.

She couldn't speak. So much was in her heart. So much told her this wouldn't work. So much told her it would.

Chance stepped onto the porch but didn't touch her. “Lynn, I can't stand this. You love me.” There was a fierceness in his words that dared her to deny it was true. “I've been praying for you. I know trust is hard for you, but can't you please see that I'll never harm you? I want to be your champion. I want to protect you, not to harm you.”

God's words echoed in her head.
I have plans for you, Lynn Perry. Plans to prosper you. Not to harm you. Plans to give you, Lynn Perry—you—hope and a future.

Chance dropped to his knee and took her hand, and her heart stopped beating. “I'm asking you to marry me, Lynn. I'm laying my heart out here so that there is no mistaking what my intentions are. I love you. I love your boys and I love your dog. I love the whole package. I keep thinking I didn't give Randy my everything.”

“Oh, Chance.”

“I keep thinking I could have done more…. I kept thinking that God should have given me more time. An other chance to get through to him. And then it hit me last night that He did. When Randy asked me to stand at the gate with him, that was my chance. That was a gift from God for me to offer Randy salvation
once more. God gave me what I've been grieving about all this time. I just lost it in my confusion. Randy didn't take his last shot at accepting Jesus. I have to rest easy and be at peace with that. But I can't rest easy about us. Not until I give it my all. I am not going to let this be until you know that you mean everything to me. If I could have conveyed to Randy that God loved him even more than I love you, then he'd have seen the splendor of God's love. So I'm putting it all out here. I love you.”

His deep voice rasped with emotion. Lynn couldn't breathe.

“Today is the beginning of our hope as a people—this is the morning we celebrate God's Son being born. He loved us so much…. I love you, Lynn. I'll take it slow and patiently.”

Lynn was crying. Her heart cracked wide open as he poured his soul out to her. All her defenses were wiped away as she cupped his upturned face, knowing without doubt that with God and Chance beside her she could conquer the fears, the doubts and the leftover hang-ups of her past. Tears blurred her vision as she bent and kissed him. “I love you, Chance. I love you so much.”

He kissed her and rose to his feet as he did so, pulling her close.

“
Tiny!
” two small voices squealed from inside the house. Lynn spun and she and Chance hurried inside to see what was wrong. She'd left the door open and Tiny had taken it as an invitation. The horse of a dog was half crouching and looked as if he'd stopped mid-stride, having been found out by Gavin and Jack. He had a big ball of red flannel fuzz she'd cleaned out of the dryer's
lint catcher billowing out of his mouth. He was looking up at them all with guilty eyes.

Lynn hurried forward and gently took the lint from his mouth. “Give me that, young man, before you choke on it.”

He opened his mouth obediently and gave over his loot, which he'd retrieved from a small trash can beside the dryer.

“Chance,” the boys squealed again, as they realized he'd stepped into the kitchen behind her. In unison they exclaimed, “You came!” and launched themselves at him.

Laughing, he caught them and swept them up, one in each arm. “I told you I would, didn't I?” he asked, looking from one to the other.

Lynn had never seen a more beautiful sight than her boys gazing at him with looks so full of love and admiration that it made her heart sing. This was what it was all about. This was the desire of her heart.

“Don't cry, Momma,” Jack said, reaching a hand out to her. “You can hug us, too.”

Gavin reached out to her, too, and Chance crossed the gap between them and instantly she was engulfed into the center of the group hug. No. The family hug…

Chance kissed her gently and both boys squealed, nearly breaking her eardrums.

“Are you gonna be our daddy?” Gavin asked.

“Yeah,” Jack said. “We didn't put you on our list for Santa Claus. We asked God fer you.”

Chance gave her his slow, cocky grin. “That depends on your momma. What do you say, Lynn?”

“Say yes, Momma,” Gavin whispered, his heart in his eyes.

Jack touched her cheek, his dark brows dipped over serious, imploring eyes. “Yes, Momma. Ain'tcha in love with 'im?”

Chance hiked a brow. “I like the way you boys think. But guys, your momma needs more time.”

“No!” she exclaimed, and all three guys' expressions crashed. “I mean, no, I don't need more time. Yes, I love you and I'll marry you.”

Both boys let out earsplitting yells of joy and Lynn knew, looking into Chance's beautiful, green eyes so full of love, that her life—and her hearing—would never be the same again.

“Now, can we go get a baby at the hospital?” Gavin asked, breaking the moment.

“Yeah,” Jack agreed. “We asked Mr. Applegate why we couldn't have a baby like Tater and he said once y'all was married that the hospital would give us one.”

Gavin grinned. “Tater's good. Miss Lacy said he don't cry none. So can we have one like him?”

Chance looked from one child to the next, then grinned, his eyes teasing. “Hey, I'm great with that. But let's get to the wedding first.”

Lynn couldn't help it—she laughed. “I agree.”

Chance set the boys down. “Guys, how about me and your momma talk dates for our wedding and then we'll meet y'all at the Christmas tree.”

They nodded then raced toward the living room singing, “We're gettin' a tater tot, we're gettin' a tater tot!”

“I hope you know what you're doing!” Lynn said, as
he wrapped his arms around her waist and hauled her close, nuzzling her ear and sending her stomach into a spin and her nerves tingling.

“I know exactly what I'm doing. I'm planning on spending the rest of my life loving you.”

“Good, I'm all in.” She kissed him, slow and tenderly, and for the first time in a very long time she stepped out of the yaupon thicket and into clear pastures. It was a beautiful sight to behold.

Taking her hand, Chance led her toward the living room where their boys were waiting. “But just so you know,” Lynn said, feeling lighthearted. “We are not naming our baby Tater Tot.”

Chance winked at her. “That's okay, Lacy and Clint have dibs on that. Me personally, I like the ring of Spud Turner better…. Sounds like a rodeo champ to me.”

Lynn laughed over the sound of her boy's happy chatter. “Oh, Chance,” she said. “What a wonderful, wonderful life we are going to have—but if you think you are putting my boys on a bull you can forget about it.”

“Darlin', we are in total agreement on all counts.”

She laughed. “Not on all counts. Spud? Nope, we are not naming our child Spud.”

“Then how about Idaho? That sounds good for the rodeo, too.”

She laughed again. “Give it up, Chance.”

At the word
rodeo
both boys stopped ogling their presents and spun. “We goin' to the rodeo?”

“Sure we are,” Chance answered. “But not today. Right now we are going to sit down and I'm going to read to y'all about baby Jesus' birth like I promised.”

“That sounds
good,
” Jack cooed, and scrambled up
close to Chance as he sat down on Lynn's couch. Lynn smiled contently and thanked God once more for the blessings she'd been given. And she knew she was done holding on to her past.

Gavin grabbed his Bible storybook that he'd set on the coffee table in anticipation of Chance coming over, and then he crawled up to sit on Chance's other side. He handed over the book and then looked thoughtful.

“You think God thought about naming baby Jesus Tater?”

“I bet he did,” Jack drawled. “It's a real good name. I like it!”

Lynn met Chance's dancing gaze over the top of Gavin's head and chuckled. “Are you sure you're ready for this? For us?”

Chance sobered. “Darlin', I've been ready my whole life for y'all.”