186 Miles (20 page)

Ryan
had
never
looked at me like this. 
I couldn’t imagine anyone except
Vince looking at me like this.

“Move
in with me,” I blurted. 
Did I just say that?
 

Oh,
yeah
, I did.

“What?” 
He slowed his pace, starting to pull away.

“Don’t
stop,” I breathed.

He
pushed back into me, harder this time, causing me to gasp aloud.

“Say
it again,” he whispered, moving briskly now, pushing gently on my abdomen.

“Oh!”
I screamed.

“Say
it again.”

“Move
in with me.”  I really
was
insane. 
Didn’t I just tell him a few
weeks ago that he was moving too fast?

He
drove into my body, causing it to shudder uncontrollably, choking out a cry. 

“Did
you just come?” he questioned, his face amused.

“Oh,
God… I’m sorry.”

He
laughed at me, of course, and pushed his hips into mine, more forceful this
time.  He was concentrating, his face determined.  He lowered his lips to my
ear.  “Yes, Rachel.”  Within seconds, he let go, gripping my waist and gasping
for air.

He
moved in that night.

*

We
were lucky.  After a lie we told to his landlord about getting married, he
conceded to letting Vince out of his lease.  He only lost the deposit and his
last month’s rent.

The
next weekend, all of his large furniture ended up in a storage unit.

After
moving him all day Saturday, we collapsed on the couch at
our
new
place. 
Ours.

“I’m
so happy, Ray,” he purred.

“Me
too.”  I was. 
Ecstatic, even.
  I don’t know why I had been so nervous.

“We
should go talk to Ryan’s parents.”

Oh,
God…
that’s
why I had been.

“I
haven’t even told my own mom.  I can’t talk to them first.”  I hadn’t talked to
her in over a month.  She hadn’t called.  Not one single message.

“So,
call your mom first.  Then we’ll go talk to them… together.”

My
heart was working overtime.  I couldn’t imagine either interaction going well. 
“Can’t we just watch a movie and hide?”  I smiled at him.

“Nope. 
It’s official.  I’m living here now, so we need to tell people.”

“I
told Carrie… and Jack and Elsa know,” I pleaded.

“Nope,
not the same.  Move it.”  He handed me the phone.  “Like a bandage, babe.  Just
rip it off.”

I
groaned.  “I hate you.”

He
smiled.  “Go.”

*

My
mother answered on the first ring.

“Hello,
Rachel.”  Her voice was cold.  “I wondered if I would ever hear from you
again.”

“Hi,
Mom.  How
are
you?”

“Well,
I’m fine, considering my oldest daughter hasn’t called me in 40 days.” 
Oh,
God, she was counting.

I
sighed.  “I’ve been busy, I guess.  But you didn’t call me either,” I answered,
taking a shot at her.

“Mm
hmm.  Well, I suppose you’re calling to tell me that your new ‘friend’ has
ended things with you.”

“No,”
I whispered.  “Just the opposite.”

“What
does
that
mean?”

“He’s
moved in with me, Mama.”

There
was a long pause.  “Uh huh.  Well, that
sure
was fast.  So, I take it
this man doesn’t have a job and he’s found himself quite the gravy train, huh? 
Living off of your husband’s insurance policy?  Sounds like a smart man to me.”

My
face heated.  “No, Mother, he
has
a job.  A
good
job.” 
Why
was I explaining myself?
  “I love him and he loves me and we’re living
together now.  I just wanted to let you know.  I didn’t call you so that we
could fight about it.”

“Oh
no, of course not.  You just wanted to share your joy with me.  Mission
accomplished.”

The
line went dead.

I
walked into the living room and threw my phone down on the coffee table,
hitting with a loud thump.

“What
happened, babe?  Was she not home?”

“Oh
no, she was.  She hung up on me.”

“Fuck
her.”  He took my hand and sat me on the couch, pulling me into an awkward
hug.  I straightened myself and pushed my whole body into his.  He turned to
me.  “Well, let’s go to Walter and Linda’s.”

I
pulled back.  “Are you fucking crazy?”

“Nope,”
he replied.  “We needed to tell your mom and you did.  We need to tell Walter
and Linda, so let’s go.  Better to get it done all today.”

I
sighed.  “I need to change.”  I stood and he smacked my behind.

“Make
it fast, honey.”

I
groaned and made my way up the stairs.  I turned to my closet.  I needed an
outfit that said
I’ve met someone else and I’m burying the memory of your
son. 
I chose a white, sleeveless silk dress with a jacquard print lace
overlay in black.  I fastened a thin red belt and slipped on matching ballet
flats.

Vince
joined me in the bedroom, pulling off his t-shirt and replacing it with a gray
dress shirt and dark jeans.  He cuffed the sleeves of his shirt and sat on the
edge of the bed, lacing up a pair of suede oxblood colored boots.  “Hey,” he
whispered.  “We’re going to be fine.  What
we
have is good.”

He
was right.

“Okay,”
I said, smiling.  “Let’s go then.”

*

We
sat in the long driveway for a minute, staring at the front door. 

“You
ready, Ray?”

I
placed my hand in his and gave it a squeeze.  “I guess.” 

I
opened the passenger side door and straightened my dress, smoothing the
wrinkles that the seatbelt had created on the drive over.

He
placed his hand on my back.  “You look beautiful, sweetheart.  Now stop
fidgeting.”

I
rang the bell and stared at the ground below.  Less than a minute later, Linda
stood in the frame.  “Oh, my darlings.”

Vince
reached over and placed his hand in mine.  I wanted to pull away, but laced my
fingers with his instead. 
This is what we were here for.

She
noticed.  “Please, come in,” she said.  Her voice was cooler now.

Vince
gripped tighter and then let my hand free.  When she turned her back to walk
towards the sitting room, he mouthed
I love you
.

“Sit,”
she announced.  She smiled, but she was different now.  “Walter!  Ray and Vince
are here.”  She turned to us.  “Now, what can I get you to drink?”

“Just
water is fine, Linda,” I answered.

“No,
don’t be ridiculous.  You’re our daughter.  We drink wine, not water.”  She got
up and walked towards the wooden rack.  I knew the
daughter
comment was
meant to sting me.  “Red okay?”

“It’s
fine, Linda.  We can’t really stay.”  We could.  I just didn’t
want
to. 
We needed to get this done.

Walter
strolled into the room.  “Ray,” he said, his voice loud, wrapping an arm around
my shoulder.  “So good to see you.  And Vince… you came too.  Nice to see you
again, son.”

“You
too, sir,” he answered.

“What
did I tell you about that, boy?  No ‘sir’ here.  Just Walter.”

“Sure.” 
He looked nervous. 
Thank God I wasn’t the only one.

Linda
joined us with a bottle and an opener.  She twisted it on the foil a few times
and pulled the cork out.  “Now, what brings you here this evening?” 

She
knew.  She was toying with us.

“Well,”
I started, “Vince and I wanted to tell you that we’ve been… seeing each other.”

She
poured the wine into a glass, a thin smile on her lips.  “Oh,” she responded. 
“Well, that’s wonderful.  I’m glad to see you’re moving forward.”

I
flinched.  “It’s not like that, Linda, you know that.”

She
handed me a glass.  “Of course.”

Walter
chimed in.  “How long has this been going on?”

“Just
a short time,” I lied.  “Since Vince moved here, we’ve been spending more time
together and we’ve sort of…”

Vince
cut me off.  “Fallen in love.”

Shut
the fuck up, Vince!

I
stared at the dark hardwood floor.  “Yes.”

Walter
swirled the dark liquid in his glass.  “Well, I can’t say that we’re surprised,
really.  The last time you came, you two seemed… comfortable.”

“We
weren’t together then,” I answered.

Vince
spoke, “We were.”

Seriously,
Vince?

“Well,
we just
started
to see each other, but we weren’t together yet,
really.”  I was desperate.  This
had
to go better than my earlier phone
call to my mother.

“I
understand, darling,” Linda said.  “You were upset and Vincent was there to
take Ryan’s place.”

“No,”
I responded.  “It wasn’t like that.  You’ve misunderstood.  This is
different.”  My voice went low.

“Mrs.
Stephens,” Vince said.  “I love Rachel.  This wasn’t supposed to happen this
way.  I can’t tell you that I wish I’d never met her because that would be a
lie.  However, it was not my intention to hurt you or your family.  That’s why
we’re here.  We wanted to tell you… out of respect.”

“Respect?”
Walter asked.  “You come to
my
house and tell me that you’re in love
with
my son’s
wife because you ‘respect’ me?”

“Yes,
sir,” he answered.  “I do.  Ryan was one of my best friends.  I loved him and
so did Ray.  She still does.  But he’s gone and there’s nothing any of us can
do about that.”  He paused.  “Listen, we wanted to tell you.  We knew this
would be a shitty conversation and no one would be happy.  But we,” he looked
to me, “are thrilled to have found each other.  I wake up every morning with a
purpose.  She means
everything
to me.”

Linda
looked to the side and nonchalantly wiped a tear from her eye.  “Well, we’re
happy for you, Rachel.  Really.  Wonderful news.”  She rose from her chair and
walked to the sliding glass door, opening and shutting it behind her.

“Please
excuse me.”  I stood.

I
felt awful leaving Vince there with Walter, but I had to talk to Linda.  We
couldn’t end things this way.  I slid open the door and took a seat next to her
on a lounge chair.  She stared into their ridiculously oversized pool.