A Bride Worth Billions (71 page)
Read A Bride Worth Billions Online
Authors: Tiffany Morgan
Before you start your journey of overcoming chronic anxiety, it is important to know the basics about anxiety. Why do people feel anxious? What triggers their anxiety? Genetics, environment, disposition, and perspective are culprits for chronic anxiety.
As with most mental disorders, chronic anxiety may stem from the childhood years and early upbringing. A person’s early environment could develop a certain mindset regarding the perception of safety and security. People coming from divorced or broken homes are more susceptible to develop chronic anxiety. Reverse parenting, or a situation in which the child takes care of the parent, contributes to excessive worrying. Growing up with overprotective parents highly partake in the occurrence of anxiety.
Conversely, being nurtured in an environment where people feel safe diminishes the chances of being severely anxious. If a child felt loved and cared for, the possibility of growing up as an anxious person is highly unlikely. The strong feeling of safety instilled in the early years prevents chronic anxiety.
Anxiety arises either from various uncertainties or imminent dilemma. For most people, worrying is used as a preparation for the worst case scenario. A person may believe that worrying about something will help in avoiding bad things to happen or in providing a solution. Oftentimes, anxiety kicks in when a person finds no control to a certain thing or situation.
Regardless of the reason, it is clear that worrying one’s life away wrecks the totality of a person. Chronic anxiety affects a person’s mental health. Depression and stress are often experienced alongside chronic anxiety. A distorted image of a person’s environment and of one’s self is brought about by excessive worrying. Additionally, the physical well-being is also highly affected. Most people with chronic anxiety experience irritable bowels, extreme fatigue, nausea, and various pains.
Why is there a need to worry? Anxiety is necessary to distinguish any kind of threat. It helps if there is an actual or imminent problem that is to be solved. However, excessive worrying is something to be, well, worried about.
If the degree to which anxiety affects people comes to the extent that life is interfered with constant worrying, then steps must be taken to combat chronic anxiety. In the following s, various techniques and ways to overcome excessive worrying will be discussed in great detail. Read on to find out how to beat anxiety.
Feeling anxious all the time will make it harder to be productive. Daily life is interrupted because of chronic anxiety. Suffering from chronic anxiety means that worries come on their own. Your worries seem to be uncontrollable. Distracting one’s self and trying to keep a positive outlook are some ways people do to stop being anxious.
But these don’t really work, do they? Yes, it may work for quite some time. But the worries don’t really disappear. As a matter of fact, suppressing anxious thoughts would only make them stronger. Trying to stop your anxious thoughts would only force your mind to be more attentive to the thought you are supposed to avoid.
However, this is not a reason to lose hope. What you can do is organize these worries in order to tackle them in a systematized manner. Rather than trying to stop your thoughts, go for a different approach. Permit your worries to penetrate your thoughts, but in a controlled and scheduled manner.
First off, set a specific time to be spent solely on worrying. This set time, the Anxiety Time, must be the same time every day – an hour would suffice. The right time must be late in the afternoon and hours before bedtime. Setting the time right before you sleep will make you feel anxious before going to bed – giving you a hard time to fall asleep. Follow this set time of worrying strictly. Take note, though, that the rest of the day must be worry-free.
Throughout the day, there is a possibility that a random thought will pop out of nowhere. Whenever such thoughts are about to sink in, list them down. This will be your Worries List. Making a Worries List will help in postponing and controlling your anxious thoughts.
Analyze your Worries List on your Anxiety Time. If those thoughts still worry you, go ahead and ponder on them. Just keep in mind that your focus on those worrying thoughts should only be within your Anxiety Time. Once the set time is over, worrying must also stop. If your thoughts do not worry you anymore, or seem insignificant to you, you can make the daily duration of the Anxiety Time shorter.
Being able to schedule your worrying is highly effective in reducing anxiety. This strategy helps in preventing the possibility of worrying the whole day. By setting an Anxiety Time, you will only have an hour or a few minutes to worry. You do not suppress the anxiety, you just postpone it. Learning to schedule worrying will help you gain more control over your anxiety issues.
Not all worries are bad for you. In fact, there are some cases in which worrying helps in providing a solution to a dilemma. The problem lies to which worry is significant and which is just an irrational fear. There are two types of worrying thoughts: productive and unproductive anxious thoughts. Knowing which kind of worries you have aids in knowing which thought really needs worrying about.
A worry is considered as productive if it can be solved or acted upon at the time it arises, i.e. for example, worrying for an upcoming presentation or report. Will it be a success or a complete failure? While this thought is really nerve wracking for some, it can be acted upon by preparing well enough before the day of the presentation. Productive worries are easier to deal with. Once you have come up with a solution, the worrying is gone. In cases of productive worries, being able to solve them reduces the feeling of anxiety and worry.
On the other hand, unproductive worry can’t be acted upon, immediately or none at all. This kind of worry cannot be resolved, or the solution is vague. You may have read an article about cancer and who are at risk of getting it. From that moment on, you can’t keep your anxiety off. There is nothing you can do about it but to worry for the rest of your life. Unproductive worry does not give a person control over the situation leading to the worry. These kinds of worries are the reasons why people are having a hard time in putting an end to chronic anxiety.
During your Anxiety Time sort out each worry as either productive or unproductive. If it is productive, come up with a solution. If it is unproductive, let it go. How? First, keep in mind that unproductive worries are pointless. Remember this: Never worry on something you can’t act upon. If you can’t do something about it, let it go. Unproductive worries are not worth dwelling upon.
Please take a good look on this book’s title. Try to emphasize on the phrase “Overcoming Chronic Anxiety”. Why the term “overcome”? Why not “prevent” or “avoid”?
In order to become anxiety-free, chronic anxiety must be conquered – not avoided. Facing anxiety is the only way to deal with it. That is the reason why the previous s tell you to experience your anxieties. Avoidance and shunning of these thoughts are not long term solutions. Overcoming and conquering the feelings of being anxious and worried help in moving forward.
One great strategy to overcome a worrying thought is to say it out loud. Practice the following exercise. Face the mirror and say your worries out loud. Repeat it over and over again – like a mantra. Say it again and again until it loses its significance and its power over you. You may do this for a few days, but the more you practice it, the lesser time you will need for any future worries that you may have.
Another effective strategy is to make yourself uncomfortable. Do things that are way beyond your comfort zone. Open yourself to situations that make you uncomfortable. When worrying, people do not allow themselves to experience things that are new and uncertain. Chronic worriers often resort to worrying in order to avoid uneasiness. Forcing yourself to do things that provide you discomfort will make you less reliant to worrying.
If worries come, do not ignore worrying – postpone it. Postponing it does not mean that you are not avoiding your worries. You are just designating a right time to tackle them. Again, this goes back to the first about the Anxiety Time.
You can never fully conquer chronic anxiety by running away from it. Acknowledge its presence in your life and follow all the strategies stated in this book.
This will talk about uncertainty and its relationship with chronic anxiety. Most chronic worriers experience uncertainties brought about by their unproductive worries. In order to fully overcome anxiety, learn to tolerate life’s uncertainties.
Accept that some things could not be predicted nor set in stone. Accept the possibility that not all outcomes of things can be controlled. The key to fully recognize your anxiety is the acceptance of the uncertain.
Ever heard of the saying, “The only permanent thing in the world is change”? Same thing is true with uncertainties. Every person is bound to undergo various forms of uncertainties in life. For a chronic worrier, however, uncertainty is their archenemy. Not knowing what is about to happen or the total loss of control over things are scenarios that could trigger anxiety.
Having to worry about things that you have no power over does not make it certain. Worrying on these things may give a sense of accomplishment. In reality, it does not. Worrying about uncertainty will give no solution. Rather than obsessing on trying to control things that are uncertain, divert your focus on things you can actually control. Acceptance of uncertainties is a giant leap for letting go of anxiety.
The succeeding s of this book will now discuss how to accept uncertainties. Furthermore, techniques on how to keep true to worrying only on your Anxiety Time are also discussed.
Nope, this is not about your unreliable internet connection. This book is about chronic anxiety, remember? And please do not worry about your internet connection right now. Do that on your Anxiety Time.
This will tackle about the importance of connections and relationships with other people. How do people around you affect your anxiety issues? The company you keep determines how quickly your anxiety levels will be lowered.
There are instances wherein people around you trigger anxiety. As a matter of fact, people surrounding a chronic worrier are the most common reason for worrying. Most importantly, closer bond with other people makes you care for them. There may be times that a chronic worrier will be worried about the welfare and well-being of a loved one. This is often experienced my parents toward their children and among couples. As long as love and care is present, the constant need to worry about a person’s current state often surfaces. Additionally, any issues or changes on how we connect with these special people in our lives makes us worry. There is a lingering fear of losing those people in your life – making you feel disconnected with them.
Consequently, people who are close to you offer great help and assistance through your anxiety outbreaks. The calming presence of your loved ones reduces the panic brought about by anxiety. Family and friends help chronic worriers to get a grip of the reality of a particular uncertainty. The people around you give support – providing additional confidence in dealing with chronic anxiety. The strength of your relationships with family, friends, and loved ones helps you in getting through your worrying. These special people in your life understand and accept your condition.
Have you ever noticed that in a group when someone laughs and giggle about something, the others will also start laughing just for the only reason that someone started it? It is because emotions are highly contagious – especially between people who have a strong bond. Humans have the ability to adapt to the mood of other humans around them. Thus, the people you spend a great deal of time with brings great impact on your moods.
This relationship between moods and people surrounding us leads to a conclusion. Spend more time with people with calming presence whilst spend less time with people who triggers anxiety. Know that you have a different response with different types of people. If you think a certain person makes you feel anxious, think about limiting the time you spend with each other. This does not mean that any ties with that person must be cut. It just means helping yourself from anxiety.
There are other people, however, who may make you feel anxious about certain situations and also challenges your anxiety. These types of people help a chronic worrier in conquering anxiety. Through engaging with such people, a chronic worrier will be able to gain a different perspective about a situation. Although at first, being around these people makes you worry, in the long run, you will be able to get through with it.
