A Family to Be (Saddle Falls) (14 page)

Dipping his hands in his pockets to search for his keys, Josh headed toward the door. “Oh, Em, there’s an unopened overnight letter on the table over there. I didn’t know if you’d seen it or not, so I thought I’d better mention it.” He glanced at the table before pushing the screen door open. “It’s next to the phone,” he said, letting the door slam shut behind him.

“Good Lord,” Em muttered. “I completely forgot about it. It was delivered last week, the night we had dinner.”

“Oh and Em?”

She glanced up at him through the screen door. “Yes?”

“Stay out of the nursery,” Josh said.

“Spoilsport,” she called with a laugh, watching Josh take the stairs two at a time.

With a yawn and a huge stretch, Em got up slowly, easing her cramped legs, wondering who on earth would send her an overnight letter.

Only one way to find out, she thought, crossing the room to pick up the letter. With a frown, she tore open the envelope and read it quickly. Before the entire letter registered, her head began to spin and she feared her knees would buckle.

Taking a slow, deep breath, she knew she’d better sit down. Em went to the couch, then slowly let herself sink back down into the cushions, reading the letter again, letting each and every typewritten word sink in before carefully folding the letter back up and replacing it in the envelope once again.

She should have known that once Jack was found, he’d figure out she’d come home to Saddle Falls. Where else would she go? He knew she had no other family, no other place to go. But apparently he didn’t know her father had passed away months ago.

Nor, apparently did he know that she was no longer his wife.

Letting her eyes slide closed, Em leaned her head back against the couch. She should have figured that. Jack had been AWOL when her divorce had been granted on the grounds of desertion. It wasn’t like she had an address to send him the notice. No wonder Jack believed they were still married, believed he was still about to become a father. Em’s eyes darkened.

Had no idea that he was no longer welcome in her life. Or her baby’s.

The
baby,
Em thought, placing a hand on her belly and fighting a bout of panic. Baby Cakes was
her
baby. Not Jack’s. Like Josh had said, Jack was little more than a sperm donor, and it took more than that to become a father. A lot more. Josh had been more of a father, a real father to Baby Cakes during her pregnancy than Jack was even capable of.

“Don’t you worry, Baby Cakes,” Em said in an oddly quiet voice, placing a protective hand over her belly. “Jack may be back, but he’s
not
your daddy. No matter what he says or thinks,” she added firmly, letting her eyes slide closed, and wondering what on earth she was going to do.

One thing
was
certain. She was not going to let Jack Bowen into her life or her child’s ever again.

“E
m,” Josh said nervously, trying to bank his impatience. “Could you hurry up here? I promised the fire chief we’d meet him at the diner at two.” He glanced at his watch, knowing Rebecca and Natalie would have his hide if he didn’t get Em to the diner pretty soon. They were almost a half an hour late as it was. Em was going to be the only woman who missed her own baby shower he thought with a scowl. “Em?”

“Josh, I’m coming,” she said with a sigh, moving slowly down the hall toward him. “I’m too big to be moving any faster than this,” she complained, grabbing her sweater off the chair. “And why on earth the fire chief decided he wanted to inspect the diner today on Sunday when the diner is closed is beyond me.”

“It’s because the diner is closed that he wants to do the inspection,” Josh lied, taking her elbow and trying to move her along. His brothers were waiting for them to leave in order to deliver and set up the nursery furniture so it would be waiting for Em when they returned. “You don’t really want him checking the fire alarms and the sprinklers while you’ve got a diner full of customers do you?” Josh asked.

She grinned as he opened the front door and helped her down the stairs. “Well, it could be interesting,” she said. “Can you just imagine how much excitement that would cause? I’d be the talk of the town, not that I haven’t been already,” she added with a frown, laying a hand on her belly. Other than Josh and his family and her staff, she hadn’t told anyone about the circumstances of her pregnancy. Nor had she told anyone about Jack, or why she’d come home and stayed home. And she knew that had caused more than a few tongues to wag. Not that it bothered her.

“Josh?” She turned to him as he opened the car door for her. A few more weeks, a few more pounds and she wouldn’t be able to fit in the front seat.

“What?” He helped her into the seat, waiting until he was certain she was comfortable before handing her the seat belt, and shutting the door.

She waited until he’d slipped behind the wheel and started the car before continuing. “What happens if the fire chief finds code violations? I mean, do I get a chance to fix them? Do I get fined?”

Josh shook his head. He hated lying to her, but he soothed himself with the knowledge that it was for a good cause. And besides, if he didn’t, his sisters-in-laws would strangle him.

“I’m not sure, Em,” Josh said, taking the back way to the diner so she wouldn’t see all the cars that would no doubt be parked in front. “He might close the diner down for a few weeks,” he said absently, while searching for a parking space.

“Close me down!” Em cried with a scowl. And Josh knew immediately it was the wrong thing to say. He was just trying to make conversation, just trying to keep her occupied, but he hated all this subterfuge, had no experience at it and judging from the look on her face, he sure wasn’t any good at it.

“Come on, Em,” he said pulling into a parking space behind the diner and shutting off the car. “Let’s go see if he’s here.”

“But Josh…” Her words trailed off when he shut the door to come around and get her. “Josh,” she began again, the moment she was out of the car. “He’s going to have to be reasonable.”

“Yes, Em, I’m sure he will be,” Josh said with a frown, leading her around to the front door of the diner and trying to hold up his end of this conversation.

“I mean, I can’t afford to close down, not even for a few days, let alone a few weeks.”

“Yes, Em,” he repeated dutifully, taking a deep breath. “I know that.” He glanced at her once, saw the concern on her face, then unlocked the front to the diner. “Go on in, Em,” he said, pocketing the key and taking a step back. This was her day, he thought with a grin. All hers. And more than anything else he wanted her to enjoy it.

“Sur…prise!” The loud chorus of voices had Em taking a step back in stunned surprise.

“J-Josh?”

“I’m right behind you, hon,” he said, slipping an arm around her simply because she looked so startled, he feared she might faint. “Go on in, hon,” he encouraged, giving her a gentle nudge to get her feet moving.

Wide-eyed, Em clung to Josh for support as her gaze went around the crowded room. Every booth, every table, and even the counter was full. If she wasn’t mistaken every woman in town had gathered here.

“Oh, Josh.” Tears filled her eyes and Em started to laugh, turning to him. “You knew, Joshua?” she accused, feeling delighted and nearly overwhelmed by emotion. “You knew and didn’t tell me?”

“Not me,” he said in defense, raising his hands in the air. “I’m no fool. Rebecca and Natalie would have had my head.”

“That’s right,” Natalie said, moving through the crowd to take Em by the arm. “We warned him—”

“We warned all the Ryan men,” Rebecca, Jake’s wife finished, taking Em’s other arm with a smile. She was due—actually overdue right now, and could barely walk. “If any one of them slipped they’d be…grounded, and confined to their rooms until they were too old to say another word.” Rebecca grinned at Josh. “Right, bro?”

“I’m not going to argue with a pregnant lady,” Josh said, in his own defense.

“Well, that’s a switch,” Em said over her shoulder, smiling broadly at him as Rebecca and Natalie led her to the guest of honor’s table in the middle of the diner. “You’re always arguing with me.”

Em’s hand went to her mouth when she got to the center of the diner. One of the larger tables for four had been decorated with pastel-colored streamers in various shades of pink and blue. The table itself was covered with an assortment of various-size gaily wrapped packages, each one more festive than the next.

On the counter, a complete buffet luncheon had been laid out, and behind the counter stood Agnes, who was grinning broadly.

“Agnes,” Em said with a grin, swiping at her tears as she went to give her a hug. “How… When…” Still overwhelmed, Em shook her head. “How on earth did you manage to do all this without me knowing?”

“Well, hon, if the truth be told, I didn’t do it myself.” She glanced toward the kitchen door. “Ernie and Sammy pitched in. So did Ms. Wilson from the library, Ms. Powers from the drugstore, and even Mrs. O’Connor helped out a bit. We been working all weekend getting the food ready.”

“Thanks, Agnes.” Em squeezed her hand, feeling surrounded by love. She made her way slowly around the room, saying hello to everyone.

“Em?” Natalie called, pulling out a chair. “Come sit down, now.” She stood behind the chair, then glanced at Josh. “She shouldn’t be on her feet too long, Josh,” Natalie whispered with a knowing lift of her brow.

Josh nodded, then went to Em, steering her gently toward the center of the diner and her chair. “Have a seat, Em,” he said, helping her into it whether she wanted to sit or not. “Do you need to take your shoes off?” he asked with a frown, making her smile.

The past week, her feet had been swelling so badly once she got her shoes on, she had a hard time getting them off, so she’d taken to wearing open-toed sandals that she could just slip on and off. But today, because she thought she had a business appointment with the fire chief, she’d worn regular shoes.

“Please?” she said when Josh produced her toeless sandals from somewhere behind his back. He bent and gently removed her shoes, giving her very sore and swollen feet a brief massage, making her sigh in relief. Then he gently lifted her feet to slip her sandals on. “Thanks, Josh.”

“Well,” he glanced around at all the women, feeling just a tad out of place. “If you don’t need me for anything else, I think I’ll leave.”

She extended her hand to her. “Josh, would you mind staying?” He’d been through almost every single stage of her pregnancy with her; it was only fair that he be here for this, too.

“Let’s open presents, first,” Rebecca said with a grin, eliciting a round of applause from the assembled group. With a precision worthy of a military general, Rebecca, Natalie and Agnes set up an assembly line, passing the gaily wrapped presents through it. Natalie unwrapped the presents, then passed it to Rebecca, who jotted down who the present was from while Agnes jotted down what the present was before passing it to Em. With each and every present the oohs and ahhs grew louder and louder.

“Oh, Josh, look,” Em said, holding up a sleeper set in a beautiful shade of pink. “Isn’t this gorgeous?”

“It’s so tiny,” he muttered, staring at the garment in horror and reconsidering whether or not he was really up to be a birthing coach.

Halfway through the gift opening, someone passed Em a glass of pink punch. Thirsty, she began to gulp it down. She glanced up because the room seemed to have gone quiet. The guests, who had crowded around to see the gifts, had separated right down the middle allowing for a newcomer to enter.

The man stood not two feet away from her, a charming smile on his handsome face. The plastic glass slipped from her lips.

“Jack.” The word slipped out of her and Em jumped to her feet, sinking right back down when her knees nearly buckled. “Jack,” she whispered again, so stunned she couldn’t speak.

“Hi, Em.” His glance went to Josh, who was standing behind Em, his hand protectively on her chair. “I guess…I’m a little…late,” he said with a careless smile and a shrug.

Josh took a step closer, fists clenched, his eyes dark. “That would be the understatement of the year.”

“Josh, please?”

Em’s plea stopped him.

“What are you doing here, Jack?” Em asked quietly, aware that everyone was watching her.

“That’s my baby you’re carrying. Where else would I be?”

His baby?

Josh glanced at Jack, and realized no matter how he personally felt, no matter the circumstances, Jack Bowen was in fact Baby Cakes’s father.

The reality seemed to drive a sharp-pitched stake through Josh’s heart. Until this moment, he hadn’t known how much he’d come to love Em and the baby, or how much he’d come to think of Baby Cakes as his.

His baby.

At the thought of Baby Cakes, Josh’s heart began to ache, knowing that he’d had no right to allow himself to think of her as his, to fall in love with her or to want her.

Baby Cakes wasn’t his.

He’d gone through this before, he thought. He’d already lost one baby. He was absolutely certain he couldn’t stand around and lose yet another one.

With his heart breaking, Josh knew he couldn’t stay there so he turned on his heel, shaking off Rebecca’s arm as she tried to stop him.

“Josh. Wait.”

He ignored her and went through the kitchen and out the back door of the diner.

Blindly, he got in his car, trying not to think about what was happening back at the diner. He knew how Em felt about Jack, or at least he thought he knew. But then he remembered, too, how Em had felt about family. About her child. About the fairy tale.

And nothing could change the reality: Josh was not Baby Cakes’s father. Jack Bowen was and always would be.

However, the man didn’t deserve either of them, Josh thought, turning blindly down another street, then realizing too late he was in front of Em’s house.

He drove past, not wanting to pull in the driveway, fearing he would see Jack Bowen acting the part of husband and father. With a sigh, Josh shook his head. Jack Bowen didn’t deserve Em or the baby.

Where had Jack Bowen been during all these months?

Where had Jack been when Em struggled daily to keep her spirits up, to keep the diner going and everything in her life together?

Where had he been when she sweated and worked through Lamaze class, learning all the things she needed to know in order to bring Baby Cakes safely into the world?

Josh didn’t know, but he knew one thing.

He
was the one who had been there for Em.
He
was the one who had grown to love Baby Cakes and Em, the way they both deserved to be loved—with his whole heart, his whole soul.

He loved Baby Cakes. And he loved Em.

The thought, the knowledge came out of nowhere, stunning Josh. He had to pull over to the curb when he realized he was driving down the wrong side of the street.

Dragging a hand through his hair, he realized he needed to think. No, he thought, he didn’t need to think. He remembered what his grandfather Tommy had once told him about listening to his heart. Well, Josh was listening to his heart now and knew for certain exactly what his heart was telling him.

“Damn,” he muttered, making a U-turn in the middle of the street and heading back toward Em’s house. He roared up the driveway, then jumped out of the car before it had stopped rocking.

The door was closed, but instead of using his key, he merely lifted his fist and banged on it.

“Em,” he called. “Open up, it’s me, Josh.” He banged harder. “Em, come on open up.”

“Josh? Just a minute, let me get my robe on.” Hastily tying her sash around her, Em pulled open the door.

“I have to talk to you,” he said, pushing past her and not giving her a chance to speak. His gaze took in the entire room. “Where is he?” he demanded, whirling on her.

Em frowned, wondering what on earth was wrong with him. “Who?”

“Jack.” Josh stormed around the room, yanking open closet doors.

Em tried not to goggle at Josh, but it was hard. This was calm, stable, responsible Josh? Right now, her reliable, calm, sensible Josh was behaving like a raving lunatic. And she was thrilled. If she didn’t know better, she’d swear he was jealous. And nothing could have pleased her more.

“Would you like to look in the laundry hamper, Josh?” she asked sweetly, making him stop and growl something under his breath. Stifling a laugh, she shrugged. “Hey, I was just trying to be helpful.”

“If you want to be helpful, Em, you can just tell me where Baby Cakes’s father is?” he all but growled at her again.

“Baby Cakes’s father?” she said in confusion, trying not to frown at Josh. “Jack? You mean Jack?”

She’d had enough. She went after him, grabbing him by the back of his shirt and turning him around to stop his rampaging through the house.

“Joshua Ryan, are you deaf?” she asked, raising her voice just to make a point. She stood on tiptoe and spoke directly into his startled, and very angry face. “I told you before, or rather you told me, Jack Bowen is
not
Baby Cakes’s father. He was merely a sperm donor, remember?” She laid a hand on his shirt. “Josh, listen to me. Is that why you left the diner? Because you thought Jack had come back to claim Baby Cakes?”