A Funny Thing About Love (26 page)

‘I'm sure you're right; I don't know any, though, so I can't comment,' Carmen replied neutrally. Blimey, she could do without the hostility first thing in the morning! Then thankfully Daniel had locked his front door and they set off. The path was too narrow for them to walk in a row of three, so Carmen and Daniel went ahead with Violet bringing up the rear. Carmen was convinced her leather jacket must be smoking with Violet's eyes boring holes into it.

‘So what are you up to today?' Daniel asked, leaning towards her.

‘Just writing,' Carmen replied. ‘I've really got to get on; I've been a bit crap.'

Daniel smiled and reached for her hand. ‘I'm sure you're not, I bet it's really good.'

He gazed at her with his gorgeous hazel eyes and the lustometer sprang right back into action. It really shouldn't matter how many other women he'd seen. But the moment was shattered when from behind her Violet shrieked, ‘STOP AT THE ROAD, BYRON!'

Byron screeched to a halt, did an about-turn and headed back to his mum. He was so intent on his mission that he banged into Carmen, the metal scooter colliding painfully against her ankle. And at that moment Carmen had many bad thoughts about children on scooters and what she would like to do to them, especially ones with names of dead Romantic poets.

‘Ouch!' she exclaimed, stopping to rub her ankle – really, UGGS were no protection against scooters.

She expected at least a ‘sorry', if not from the monster Byron then from his mother, but Violet was busy praising her son for having listened to her. ‘Thumbs up, Byron,' Violet said and Byron took off again. Carmen flattened herself against a wall to avoid another bash. Great, first her coccyx, then her ankle. Brighton seemed to be a very dangerous place.

‘Are you okay?' Daniel asked.

‘Yeah,' Carmen replied, limping slightly.

Finally Violet spoke. ‘Oh, sorry, did Byron hit you?
We think he may have slight dyspraxia, and so has coordination problems. I'm sure he didn't mean to.'

Damn, Carmen couldn't possibly say anything critical now. If she did she would be dissing a child with a special need. As they continued on their journey to school they saw more families setting off and Carmen couldn't help but be aware that she was the focus of many curious looks, especially from the women. It made her feel like a teenager who has just spent the night round her boyfriend's for the first time, and she didn't know quite how to play it. In fact, so vivid was the feeling that she found herself instinctively checking her neck in case she had the teenage love bite to match. Some twenty minutes later, which seemed longer because of Violet's brooding presence, and after several more shrieks from Violet to Byron which Carmen was convinced had given her tinnitus, they arrived at the school, an unremarkable seventies-style flat-roofed series of buildings, but whose windows were decorated with colourful artwork which gave it a cosy, welcoming feel.

The playground was packed with children running around or swarming over the various climbing frames while their parents gossiped with their friends. Carmen looked out for Jess in the scrum but couldn't see her. She left Daniel to say goodbye to Millie and went to stand on the edge of the playground, well out of the way of scooters and nosy mothers. There were plenty of toddlers in buggies and babies in prams, but Carmen did what she always did when she saw a pram and looked the other way. It was admittedly harder in this
situation, as practically everywhere she looked there was a pram with a perfect baby wrapped up snug as a beautiful bug inside, but she did her very best. A teacher blew a whistle, the shrill sound cutting through the parents' chatter and the shouts of the children larking around. What was it with the noise overload first thing in the morning? Instantly there was an order to the chaos as the children assembled into some ten lines and line by line filed into school.

Daniel walked over to her. He smiled. ‘Was it too much coming with us?'

‘No, it was fine,' Carmen replied, thinking she needed a strong cup of coffee and a lie-down to recover.

Daniel draped his arm round her as they walked out of the playground. ‘I wish we could just go back to bed,' he murmured in her ear, causing the lustometer to flicker into action again. Outside the high iron railings he paused and pointed down the hill. ‘I'm going this way, and you're going that way,' he gestured in the opposite direction.

‘Okay,' Carmen replied, trying to ignore the parents trooping by who were ogling them. Daniel moved in closer and put both his arms round her. ‘D'you fancy coming round tonight? Say nine? I can cook again.' He lightly kissed her on the lips and it would be true to say that food was the very last thing on her mind.

‘I can bring something if you like?'

‘Just bring that hot body.' Another kiss. The lustometer hit a perfect ten.

However, it suffered a slight decrease when Carmen
watched Daniel adjust the height of the handlebars on Millie's pink scooter and then take off down the hill at top speed. There was just something not quite right about the sexy man you fancied the pants off scootering, especially not on a girl's scooter.

And when she called Marcus from her mobile as she walked, checking first that no parents were in earshot, and filled him on practically all the details, he agreed.

‘Bloody hell, Carmen, you really are going out with a man-child! I said you should have stuck with Will – he's a real man.'

Where did that come from? Carmen was taken aback by Marcus mentioning Will; in fact, she was pretty annoyed. ‘There was nothing to stick to, if you remember. Will has got a girlfriend. Nothing ever happened between us except
that
kiss. And anyway, Daniel is hot. And nice and sexy and green and a good cook.'

‘Good cock, more like,' Marcus shot back.

‘Stop it!' Carmen warned him. ‘Or I'll tell Leo about your Percy Pig habit, and it won't be pretty. And he'll realise what a shallow slut you are and not the sophisticated man-about-town you pretend to be.'

‘Okay, okay, truce. Really, I'm glad you're finally getting some.'

‘It's not just about sex!' Carmen exclaimed, thinking, was it wrong that it actually seemed to be entirely about sex? And that she really knew very little about Daniel.

‘And promise me you're not rushing into something because of the Nick baby thing?'

‘Marcus! Give me a break! When I wasn't seeing anyone you nagged me about seeing someone, and now I am you're saying I shouldn't be?'

‘I just don't want you to get hurt, is all.'

‘Thanks for your concern, but really I'm fine. More than fine. I'm great. Don't worry about me.'

Carmen had a spring in her step all the way to Sussex Square, in spite of the bruise on her bum which was still tender, as she thought about Daniel. She would just forget about the skateboarding and the riding on a girl's scooter. All men had annoying habits, but not all men were as gorgeous and sexy as Daniel. Just as she reached her flat, Daniel sent her a text: ‘Can't stop thinking about you. What have you done to me? Can't wait for tonight d x.' It gave the rest of her day a glow and she even managed to avoid looking on the pregnancy diary for an update on Nick's baby, and that had to be a good thing.

Man-child or not, Carmen thought when Daniel opened the door to her that night, he was certainly hot. Before she kissed him this time she did a quick reconnaissance to ensure there weren't any rogue skateboards lurking, waiting to trip her up. Thankfully it was all clear. ‘Hi,' she murmured and fastened her lips to Daniel's. So what if he skateboarded and rode a girl's scooter when he had a body like this?

‘Hmm,' he murmured back, coming up for air. ‘I should just warn you that Violet's here, I can't get rid of her. It's like trying to winkle a limpet off a rock.
Her ex has got the kids for the night and she's decided that I'm the shoulder she wants to cry on.'

Carmen, who'd had visions of heading up to Daniel's bedroom and getting straight down to it, was not impressed.

Daniel caught sight of her sulky expression and said quietly, ‘I'm sure she'll get the hint when she sees you.'

Carmen trailed downstairs after Daniel, consoling herself with the sight of his broad shoulders. He had the body of a swimmer, she reckoned, with those shoulders, narrow waist and long, lean legs – at least, she hoped it was from swimming and not from skateboarding. Violet was curled up in the zebra-print armchair by the fire, holding a glass of wine. Her face visibly fell when she saw Carmen. She wondered if Violet was in the habit of coming round to Daniel's when her ex had the kids. ‘Hi,' Carmen said as casually as possible. ‘How are you?'

Violet twirled a long strand of hair round and round her finger. ‘Well, I could pretend that everything's fine or I could tell you how I really feel, which is incredibly low.'

Carmen would have infinitely preferred it if Violet could have pretended everything was fine. Couldn't she go and feel low somewhere else? Daniel handed her a glass of wine while he carried on with cooking, and Carmen sat on the sofa and got to hear the whole story of Violet's divorce – how she'd been trapped in her marriage, bored by her partner, how she had filed for divorce, because, like, she was only thirty-eight and life
was too short, wasn't it? How he was saying he might have to reduce her maintenance and she would have to get a job as his business was going through a bad patch, but like, how was she supposed to get a job when the children were so little, and anyway, she didn't know what she wanted to do right now and didn't want to rush into anything just to pay the bills.

Now usually Carmen's every sympathy would have been on the woman's side but frankly her ex-husband didn't sound that bad – she was the one who had left. Then of course there was the main reason for her sympathy bypass: she didn't especially like Violet and she suspected that Violet didn't like her either. ‘Well, I guess that's what everyone else has to do, isn't it?' she couldn't stop herself from saying.

Violet turned her huge brown eyes on Carmen. ‘What do you mean?'

‘Just that we all have to make money somehow to pay the bills.'

‘Yeah, well, I'm a mother. I need to be there for my children, perhaps when you have kids you'll understand where I'm coming from.'

There was of course no comeback from that one. Carmen looked at Daniel, who had stayed well out of the conversation and was now busy doing something with a wok. Carmen would much rather he'd been doing something to her. He just shrugged. Right now Carmen could have done with him being a teensy bit more forceful, like telling Violet that he and Carmen had plans – plans which did not involve Violet.

‘Supper's nearly ready,' he called over. ‘There's enough for three, so you're welcome to stay, Violet.'

‘It's okay, I should get going and I'm sure I've got some rice cakes in the house, I could have Marmite on them. I'm not that hungry, though, I don't think I've actually eaten all day. I've been so stressed about everything,' Violet said, getting up and radiating an aura of the-world's-against-me. She should bottle it and call it
eau de burning martyr
, Carmen thought.

‘Don't be silly, you must stay and eat with us,' Daniel replied. Carmen gritted her teeth, but in fairness she knew there was no other response to Violet.

Violet smiled faintly. ‘Okay then, I'll just have a little.'

It was an awkward meal. Violet was milking being a victim for all it was worth, alternating with throwing longing glances at Daniel and extolling his virtues: ‘Have you seen any of Daniel's gardens, Carmen? They're wonderful.'

Carmen was forced to admit that she hadn't.

‘Oh, of course you haven't known each other that long, have you?'

No, but I have shagged him four times, and that's four times more than you, I'm guessing
, Carmen resisted saying, tempting as it was.

‘I do admire Daniel for actually making a difference to the environment and his community. Did you know he worked on the community garden for nothing?' Carmen shook her head. ‘Well, maybe you should get him to give you a tour – I think you'll be seriously
impressed. So you see, Daniel is not only kind, good-looking and a brilliant dad, he's also incredibly talented.' Violet did not say this ironically – her sincerity was almost scary. There was only one thing more unsettling than the fulsome praise coming from Violet, and that was that Daniel seemed to take it in his stride, not once shrugging it off – either he had heard it all before and it went right over his head, or he was enjoying it.

Carmen took a large sip of wine. She would be calm and gracious – she had the promise of great sex in an hour at the most. She could get through this. Focus, look at Daniel's lovely broad shoulders and just imagine pulling off his jumper and kissing his beautiful bare skin. And to speed up her arrival at that scenario she wolfed down her stir-fry, even though it contained tofu and she usually gave that a wide berth, while Violet seemed to be taking tiny mouthfuls, intent on extending her stay. At this rate she'd be here till breakfast. Carmen looked at her –
you will finish your stir-fry and go
, she willed her,
finish and go
. Carmen's mind-bending techniques obviously needed more work, as after making her stir-fry last half an hour Violet had a peppermint tea, and it wasn't until quarter to eleven that she finally made a move. Even then she stayed on the doorstep yacking away to Daniel. Carmen was alarmed to see that by now Daniel was yawning. Violet must have known that he would have put in a hard day's labour and that he would be flagging. This could not be! She'd had to endure the poisonous Violet for a whole evening, there just had to be light at the end of the tunnel, or
Daniel in her tunnel, and, oh God, what kind of analogy was that? The lust was seriously affecting her mind.