A Funny Thing About Love (28 page)

As Sod's Law would have it, outside was blowing a gale. As soon as Carmen and Harry started out, a strong gust of wind whisked up Carmen's flimsy skirt, causing her to reveal her stockings and lacy French knickers to the family behind them. Though the indecent exposure had one advantage of making Harry laugh, and Carmen reflected that helping him lose his old-man
worried expression was worth any transient humiliation. There were two further knicker-flashing incidents before they reached their destination – well, at least she was wearing some – and Carmen's feet were indeed killing her. Once they were in the playground Harry shot off with his friends, while Carmen folded her arms and hopped from one poor blistered foot to the other to keep warm. She was relieved when she saw Daniel and he came over, just as she was having a flashback to childhood and remembering how busy playgrounds can seem like the loneliest places in the world when you are on your own.

‘Hey,' he leaned in and kissed her. ‘What's the news?' As Carmen filled him in she was again aware of other mothers eyeballing them.

She could feel tears prickling her eyes. ‘So I really hope Jess is going to be okay. I should have made her do something about it. What kind of useless friend am I?'

Daniel draped his arm round her shoulder, ‘It's not about you and what you did or didn't do, though I'm sure you've always been a good friend – it's about her and her addiction. Only she can do something about it.'

Hearing Daniel say those words out loud made Carmen feel even worse. Just then the whistle went, and it was the usual frantic scramble as kids got into their lines and Carmen tracked down Harry. She could tell he was trying with all his seven-year-old might to put a brave face on things but his little chin wobbled
when she said goodbye. ‘Daddy will pick you up later. Have a great day and don't worry about Mummy, I'm sure she'll be fine.'

Harry nodded and Carmen moved to the side to watch his line file into school. Harry's shoulders were hunched up in an effort not to cry.

Carmen looked for Daniel but he was surrounded by a gaggle of women,
Talk about bees round a honey pot
, she thought, walking slowly out of the gates. And then, as she did a survey of the dads trooping out of the playground with her, she reckoned that she would have been one of the bees. The other dads were a motley crew compared to Daniel. They were either wearing clothes so nondescript they made no impression whatsoever, or they were making way too much effort in clothes that would have better suited a teenager – she counted several pairs of low-slung jeans with the pants out, which might have been forgivable in a sixteen-year-old, but on a thirty-something was nothing short of a fashion outrage. There was bizarre facial topiary, plenty of long hair, some multiple piercings of ears and noses, and some of the dads looked like they needed a good bath. It was a no-brainer that Daniel had so many admirers. Seeing him in the midst of such examples of manhood was akin to seeing the sun rise when you'd been living in the Arctic Circle for three months in total darkness. Finally Daniel managed to extricate himself from the women and head over to Carmen.

‘So I meant to say, that's quite an outfit you're wearing
for the school run. Really, why don't more women make the effort.' Daniel grinned at her.

‘I didn't know I was going to be doing the school run when I put it on last night, if you remember!' Carmen exclaimed.

‘So it was all for me?'

‘I guess so.'

Daniel looked at his watch. ‘I've got forty minutes before I need to start. You could come back to mine and the outfit won't have been wasted.'

Carmen's eyes were scratchy with lack of sleep, she felt consumed with worry about Jess, and actually the last thing on her mind right now was a shag with Daniel, however gorgeous he was. She couldn't help thinking that it was slightly insensitive of him, but maybe she was feeling oversensitive.

‘How about tonight? I'm expecting a call from Sean and I'd like to see Jess if possible.'

Daniel's face fell. ‘I've got the book club at my house tonight and I can't get out of it.'

Carmen did a double take. ‘You've got a book club? I can't imagine a group of men sitting round each other's houses discussing fiction!'

Daniel looked slightly embarrassed. ‘Actually, I'm the only man. I just needed to do something when Imogen left me and I've never been one for going out to the pub with the lads, and so Violet suggested I join their book club.'

I bet she did!
Carmen thought, giving Violet full marks for resourcefulness.
Hell, she probably started up
the book club just so she could get Daniel to come and I bet it wasn't anything to do with Violet wanting to share her love of great works of literature with him
.

‘But why don't you come along?' Daniel went on. ‘We're doing
Atonement
.'

Carmen hesitated. She had read
Atonement
and seen the film; she could think of something to say, couldn't she? So when she agreed, it had nothing to do with wanting to police the other women, did it? And catching a glimpse of Violet, Carmen gave Daniel a smouldering kiss on the lips, even raising one stocking-clad leg coquettishly behind her.

Back home she quickly showered and changed, anxious not to miss any call from Sean. By eleven she had heard nothing and felt compelled to phone him. He was apologetic not to have rung, but they'd only just arrived home. Carmen was all set to bombard him with questions but he said, ‘Why don't you speak to Jess?'

Her friend was uncharacteristically subdued. ‘I've just got a terrible headache. Thanks so much for looking after Harry,' she said quietly.

‘Shall I come round and see you?' Carmen asked.

‘Yeah that would be great – Sean's got a meeting and he's probably sick of the sight of me after sitting up with me all night.'

It was still windy as Carmen walked to her friend's house. The sea was being whipped up into a frenzy, frothing and foaming like a gigantic coffee machine. She wondered what she should say to Jess. Probably
best to listen, she reflected, and let Jess do the talking. Or ranting, she discovered some twenty minutes later. She had expected a repentant Jess, but what she got was angry Jess.

‘I mean, fucking hell!' Jess exclaimed as she aggressively spooned coffee into a cafetiere and managed to spill most of it on the kitchen surface. ‘I don't know why Sean made such a big deal! I had a few drinks and fell down, but I'm fine. It could have happened to anyone.'

Carmen stared at her friend in disbelief. She was so far in denial. How could she think that getting so drunk you passed out in a park equalled fine? Jess looked like death, she had a purple bruise on her forehead from where she'd fallen, her skin was blotchy and her eyes were bloodshot. Carmen was about to point out that she didn't seem fine, as diplomatically as possible – that's if you could be diplomatic about telling your best friend that you thought she was quite possibly an alcoholic – when Jess ploughed on: ‘Sean's going on and on about how I need to admit that I have a problem with alcohol and go to rehab, but I think that's his problem! Not mine. I know I need to cut back, but who doesn't?'

‘So are you going to rehab?' Carmen asked, wincing as the lyrics to Amy Winehouse's song popped up in her head. How shallow was she?

About as shallow as Jess apparently, as Jess sang back, ‘They tried to make me go to rehab, I say no, no, no.' Or maybe it was gallows humour.

Jess snapped out of it. ‘I've promised to cut back and we're going to see how it goes. I just hate the way Sean puts it all on me. He doesn't get that one of the reasons why I drink is because he is so miserable to live with.'

Carmen inched one foot on to the minefield. ‘Are you sure he isn't miserable because of you drinking too much?'

It was carnage. The comment blew up spectacularly as Jess went off on one. ‘God, Carmen, I thought you would be on my side! My best friend! And you drink loads as well, so don't come all moral fucking high ground with me!' She shoved the cafetiere plunger down so violently that coffee spurted up like a geyser. ‘Oh fuck!' Jess yelled as hot coffee went all over her jumper. Carmen went to help her. ‘No, it's okay, I'll get changed. Could you just pour me a coffee – or do you think I drink too much coffee as well?' Jess sniped. And with that she stormed up the stairs.

Kitty Kitty shot past Carmen like an orange cannonball, clearly put out by the noise, and, pausing only to glare at her, squeezed her offended orangeness through the cat flap. Carmen shrugged and said out loud, ‘So shoot me, I'm a dog person.' She mopped up the coffee and poured a mug for herself and Jess, and then sat down at the table. She was beginning to wish she'd had that quickie with Daniel if Jess was going to bite her head off like this.

She had almost finished her coffee when Jess returned, looking more upbeat. ‘Sorry I yelled at you,'
she said as she breezed in, smelling of Clinique's Happy. She sat down opposite Carmen and reached for her coffee. ‘I had such an ear bashing from Sean and I think I felt ashamed of getting so drunk, but it really is not going to happen again. I was so stressed at work. And anyway, it's not like I make a habit of it.'

Carmen didn't want to risk another outburst so did not remind her that practically every time she had seen her recently she had been drunk, or on the way to being drunk, or recovering from a killer hangover. She stayed for another coffee and then walked back home.

She was at her front door when she got a call from Daniel. ‘I'm two minutes away, how about I call by? I don't think I can wait until tonight.'

‘Come on round,' Carmen replied, thinking that was bound to cheer her up.

But afterwards, as she watched Daniel getting dressed, she couldn't stop herself from asking, ‘Is it just about sex, then?'

Daniel stopped buttoning up his shirt. ‘No way! I really like you, Carmen.' And he walked back to the bed and kissed her.

‘Is it just about sex for you?' he asked as they both came up for air.

‘Definitely!' Carmen joked back.

‘Oh.' Daniel looked genuinely rattled.

Carmen sat up, holding the sheet to her body. ‘Oh Daniel, I was teasing, I really like you too.'

Daniel looked relieved. ‘Sorry, I can't do the joking thing about feelings, not after Imogen.'

Shit! Why did all roads lead back to her? ‘No, I'm sorry,' Carmen said softly, and wrapped her arms round Daniel's neck. ‘I mean it, I really like you.'

‘You too,' Daniel murmured back. ‘Sorry, I've got to go. Mrs McDonald's patio waits for no man. I'll see you at eight.'

After he'd gone Carmen flopped back on the pillow, wondering if she and Daniel had missed the moment to reveal that they were in love with each other. ‘Like' didn't seem to cover her feelings for Daniel, but then again, did she love him?

‘Everybody, this is Carmen,' Daniel said as Carmen walked into the living room. It was like walking into an antenatal class as Daniel pointed out the women in turn: ‘Ilsa, Julie and Gemma. And of course you know Violet.' Carmen smiled weakly. Ilsa (wild chestnut curls and a smiley, open face) was about to pop; Julie (blonde bob, good bone structure) was breastfeeding a tiny baby, who Daniel informed her was called Florence, and Gemma (long black hair, petite, looked like a former ballet dancer) was about six months pregnant – and Violet looked like she wanted to dance on Carmen's grave.

The women, except Violet, smiled back at Carmen. ‘Oh no! I'm never going to remember all your names,' Carmen groaned as she sat on the one remaining chair, in front of the two sofas, so she felt a little bit as if she was being interviewed.

‘Well, we all know who you are!' Julie exclaimed. ‘We've seen you in the playground.'

This was so not what Carmen needed. She looked appealingly at Daniel –
Save me from trial by the mummy mafia
, her eyes pleaded – but at that moment Millie called out and he disappeared upstairs.

‘So we finally get to meet hot Dan's girlfriend,' Ilsa put in. ‘Oh sorry, I shouldn't have said that, it's my hormones.' Ilsa pushed her wild curls out of her face and gave Carmen an apologetic smile.

‘It's okay, he is hot.'

‘He is the only hot man in the playground!' Gemma declared. ‘Some mornings I forget to say goodbye to my son because I'm too busy staring at him.' Carmen laughed. The women weren't so bad after all. She had been expecting clones of Violet, and they seemed infinitely more friendly.

‘So where did you meet him?' Julie asked.

Carmen had barely replied before Ilsa piped up with a follow-up, then Gemma.

‘Of course, we've all seen the picture,' Ilsa said conspiratorially, gently rubbing her bump. ‘So we know that Daniel is way more than a pretty face.'

There was a pause while Carmen wondered how to respond. Clearly these women didn't do small talk.

‘And there I was thinking we were going to be discussing
Atonement
!'

‘I just need to know one thing,' Ilsa again. ‘Is he as good as we all think he is? He is, isn't he? He's my in-case-of-emergency fantasy, just if Gorgeous George isn't working.'

She caught sight of her friends and Carmen staring at her, all wearing identical expressions of shock.

‘I'm a pregnant woman! My brain cells have turned to mush, I want to pee all the time and my ankles have swollen up to the size of a baby elephant's legs. Carmen
could surely take pity on me and tell me,' Ilsa said defiantly. ‘It would be doing a public service.'

‘He's so much better,' Carmen confided.

And everyone laughed again, except Violet, who clearly thought a change of subject was in order. ‘So, how are you feeling about the birth, Ilsa?' she asked briskly. ‘Have you been listening to the relaxation tape I gave you?'