A KeyHolder's Handbook (4 page)

Tease and denial has no set rules. It has no required forms of teasing. It has no requirement for the amount of time you put into it. In other words, you can do as much or as little you like. There are many forms of teasing, but only one form of denial. Denial is denial (period). So lets look at what teasing should mean to you.

You have probably been led to believe that you must spend a minimum amount of time each week (or each day) physically teasing (fondling, licking, sucking, etc.) your partner in order to meet his requirements. You have also been told what to do, how to stroke him, etc. Now what have I been telling you? NO! You don't!

There are many things you can employ to sexually tease your partner. There are verbal methods, physical methods, and even psychological methods. Even these methods are extremely flexible and you don't have to use all three. What you have to do, if you are going to use tease and denial, is find as many ways of turning your partner on as you can. The more ways you have at your disposal, the easier it will be.

Don't let your partner pressure you into any certain thing. If talking during sex is difficult for you, I will teach you how to do it without all that pressure. You may feel self-conscious about talking “dirty” during sex. But there are things that you can talk about without feeling self-conscious. I will teach you to use those things so that you can be relaxed when you are physically teasing him. So for now, just relax, there will be no pressure from me, or from him, once you understand the basic concepts.

Rest assured, if you can't tell him a fantasy of his choice because you are too timid, or self-conscious to do it, I will teach you how to make him form his own fantasy from things that you can say. For example, he might want to hear a fantasy about two women teasing him at once. But you may be too timid to say those things out loud or too self-conscious to relate such a story to him. But I'll bet you would have no trouble telling him that have been thinking about bringing in a girlfriend to help you. It is all a matter of perspective when you get right down to it. So relax. This will be easy. I promise.

Knowing Your Prey

Obviously, knowing what turns your partner on is important. After all, how are you going get him all worked up if you have no idea what he likes, sexually speaking? So how can you say you really know him if you don't know his fantasies? His fantasies are the single most important aspect of his sexual world. The problem is, he keeps them a secret.

So, what do you know about his fantasies? If you think you know your partner, think again. Chances are, he has fantasies that you know nothing about. He isn't keeping things from you, you just never bothered to dig into his psyche to find out what really gets his motor running. If he is interested in male chastity, do you know what his chastity fantasies are? If you don't, you need to find out.

Your partner's fantasies are the quickest route to his libido. His libido is that part of his brain that gets him turned on. But if you haven't been digging into to his psyche to find out exactly what makes him really excited, you need to. For one thing, he may be too embarrassed to tell you those fantasies. Think about it, have you told him what really gets you all hot and bothered? Have you told him that fantasy you have had for years where Mel Gibson ravishes you? Probably not. So what makes you think you know all of his deep, dark fantasies?

Communication is an important part of getting to know your partner, and letting him know all about you. But it is very rare that people, no matter how close they are, will tell anyone their deepest fantasies. So you are going to have to make him tell you. There are a number of ways you can do this. The easiest, and probably the quickest way to find out what gets him moving is to have him give you some Internet links to stories that really turn him on.

Let's face it, you now hold the keys to his sexual release, so why not use them to find out about his fantasies? You can have him write them out, or tell them to you while you are teasing him physically. Have him email them to you if he is too embarrassed to say them out loud. You don't really need all the details. What you need is a brief outline or story-line as it is called. You need just enough information to know the subject and any details he finds important.

You don't ever have to tell him a fantasy! There are numerous ways to use his fantasies to tease him and I will give you examples of these methods in the following chapters. You can physically tease him, mentally tease him, and even visually tease him using his fantasies as the basis of your teasing. You can use his fantasies to help get (and keep) him aroused. And that is the whole purpose of teasing.

So use whatever methods you have available to you to find out what he fantasizes about. That will give you the basic information you need to get the ball rolling. Later, I will tell you how you can get him to create all new fantasies that feature you as the center of those fantasies.

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Chapter 4 – Orgasm Control

“
You lost another hand of poker. That means
you owe me three months in chastity.
Would you like to go for double or nothing?”

Just what is orgasm control play? It is a form of psychological teasing. You put his penis in a cage of some sort, and then tell him things that will get him aroused and maybe a little scared. It should make him wonder what he has gotten himself into. It is a game of who will give in first. Will he be able to convince you to allow him an orgasm? Will you keep him locked up much longer than he was hoping? Or will you give in and feel sorry for him and grant him an orgasm?

If you are not planning to do any physical teasing, how can you keep him aroused? How do you make sure that he is enjoying his penile captivity? You have to access his psyche. You need to get into his mind and fill it with erotic thoughts, fearful thoughts, things that will make him want that orgasm more and more with each passing day.

Fantasies are the key. You can use the fantasies he already has, which is a good place to start, or you can plant some your own fantasies in his mind. The fact that he has no idea when you will let him out of his chastity cage, is one fantasy you can play with right off the bat. You just locked up his genitals so that he can no longer masturbate, or even touch himself in an erotic manner. And... He has no idea how long you intend to keep him that way.

How To Use Fantasy

There are all sorts of things that can be used to create fantasies for him. The easiest is through the things you tell him. If you have been reading the little quotes at the beginning of each chapter, then you have already seen how it is done. Tell him something that will make him wonder what you really have in mind. Don't give him details. Don't answer his questions about it. Simply drop a hint now and then about his release date. Will it be this weekend? Maybe next week? Or maybe, just maybe, he won't be released from his cage for months. Dangling this bit of information over his head without giving him a specific date can drive him up the wall.

Tell him you are trying to convince your closest friend to come over sometime and see your handiwork. To view his genitals all locked up in that tiny cage. That will instill a bit of fear in him. He probably won't want his private parts shown to someone else, at least not while he is wearing a chastity device.

If that doesn't do it, expand on it. Maybe you are thinking of inviting a group of friends to see his penis all locked up. Maybe his boss is among those you have invited. Maybe an ex-girlfriend of his. Tell him you haven't figured out when you want to let him out. You can't decide between this month, or next month, or even next year.

Use the Internet

If you are no good at head-games, then try more erotic fantasies. Or a more direct approach. The Internet, which is most likely where he came up with this whole chastity thing anyway, is an excellent resource for teasing him without touching him. Have him find you some stories that he likes. He can email you the links to his favorite ones. Send him to an adult video website where he can watch erotic scenes to his heart's content. Even just viewing erotic photos will do the trick.

The objective is to let him do whatever he can to get himself aroused. This is especially effective if the chastity device you put on him has some sort of erection deterrent. I am talking about little spikes that are often optional when you purchase a chastity device. They don't bother him under normal circumstances, but if he gets aroused, the swelling of his penis will cause the spikes to dig into his flesh. They won't actually harm him, but they will be painful. Spikes can be a good method of teasing him.

Fantasies, erotic literature, porn and your own words are all excellent ways of teasing him without having to remove his chastity device. I call them non-physical methods of teasing. Whispering something sexy in his ear or sending him an erotic text message or photo on his phone are some other methods. Use that with which you are most comfortable. No matter how you want to do it, be sure you do it every day and as often as you can each day.

The whole point of locking him up and teasing him is to keep him aroused and wanting an orgasm. The more you do, the more effective it will be. Try to vary your methods. Maybe have him watch videos one day and send him texts the next day. Or mix it up even more than that.

If you need some ideas on of things you can say to him that will give him that little bit of fear, whether fear of being humiliated, or fear of never getting out of his cage. Try doing a search on your favorite search engine for “Chastity Captioned Photos.” These are an excellent source of things to say to him that will help to keep him aroused.

How To Talk Dirty

This is one area in which many women seem to have trouble. They just can't seem to bring themselves to talk “dirty” to their partner, even in the bedroom. I won't go into the many reasons this might occur, but suffice it to say, it is a bigger problem than many people think.

I hear from so many women that they are just not comfortable talking during sex. I don't know if that is really the problem or if it is more that they feel pressured and don't want to talk because they might not say what their partner wants to hear. They don't want to be told later that they could have done better by saying this or that. They don't want to be critiqued. I understand that. No one wants to have to “perform” for their partner, especially in an area they are not comfortable with in the first place.

Let's look at one example of talking that can cause these feelings and then we will discuss a better way of handling it. Suppose your partner says that he wants you to talk about his fantasies (or a certain fantasy) that you feel uncomfortable talking about. That is, he wants you to tell him his fantasy. I can see where that would be intimidating. So how do you handle it?

You want to please him, don't you? WRONG! You want to TEASE him. You want him to please you. So, instead of telling him a fantasy, tell him you are planning to make his fantasy come true. Don't tell him the fantasy, either make him tell it to you, or describe how you are going to make it come true. You don't really have to turn it into reality, but it will be much easier to talk about it if you approach it from a different direction. Tell him his fantasy by describing how you are going to make it a reality.

Let's face it, you are probably not a good story teller. Not in the sense that you can tell him a detailed story (his fantasy) to him in a way that will turn him on. Maybe you are not comfortable using the language he likes to hear. Maybe you are not good at making up stories on the spot. Okay, don't! Try this, stand in front of a mirror and try to tell yourself his fantasy. It is not easy, is it? Now, instead of telling yourself his fantasy, tell yourself what you would do if you were to make the fantasy come true.

Here is an example, you might say, “I think I am going to have a dinner party with a few of my closest friends.” You might even name a few of them. Then you might say, “I will dress you up as a French maid, and make you serve dinner. I might even tell them about your chastity device.” You can go into as much detail as you like. What are the guests going to do to him? Is he going to be put on display, maybe even bound for their amusement? You decide what you want to say. Let him, and his imagination, fill in the blanks.

Now, would that be as difficult as relating his own fantasy to him? Of course not. And the best part is, you are teasing him verbally and mentally at the same time. It will be a whole lot more erotic for the both of you, than reciting his fantasy ever would. You don't ever need to have that dinner party. It was just a fantasy. But it was a great deal easier than trying to turn him on by trying to sound erotic while making up a story.

You can, of course, use this method to relate any of his (or your) fantasies. Simply make the fantasy personal and possible. Whether you are talking about bi-sexual activities, or simply paddling him in some dungeon, the picture in his mind will be real. He will feel the anticipation, the possible humiliation, and there will always be the thought that you might follow through one day. Well, you might, for all he knows. And that is all you need do to keep him on his toes. The thought that what you tell him might not be just a fantasy will keep him thinking about it for days. If he thinks you may actually do one or more of the things you tell him about, the more fun this will be for the both of you.