A KeyHolder's Handbook (7 page)

Blog Him:
Did you know that you can set up your own blog and make it so private that only you and whoever you want, can see it? Blogger(R) makes that easy and so do many other blogs you can set up for free. You don't need your own web site. Companies like Google, WordPress, Blog.com, Weebly, and others will let you set up your own blog at no charge. You can make it private, for members only. Why am I telling you this? Because you can use this as a way to communicate with your chastity partner. Even if you live together in the same house, and have for years, you can increase your erotic communication with a blog. You can post photos (even nude ones) of your partner or yourself for his enjoyment. You can send each other messages by making posts to each other. A private blog may not seem like much, but there are so many things you can use it for, that you will wonder why you didn't get one before.

Home Visuals:
I know that I recommend your partner wear a blindfold when you play with him, but there are a few exceptions to that. For example, when you want him to see that new strap-on dildo that you bought just for him. Or when he needs to see that you are carrying a riding crop just before you use it on his exposed backside. Sometimes it is a good idea to let him see certain things for the shock value or because it will give him a little erotic boost before the real fun begins. If you intend to wear something sexy for him, then of course, you want him to see it at least once before you cover his eyes. If you are lounging in the bathtub waiting for him to wash your body, you don't want his eyes covered. Besides, he might trip and fall. As you well know, 25% of all accidents in the home occur in the bathroom. (I might have just made that up, I'm not really sure.) Speaking of wearing sexy outfits, you can always dress (if not publicly, but in private) to tease him. Get some shorter skirts, or shorter shorts. How about a see-thru blouse or two? Maybe forget to put on your underwear, but make sure to tell him you are not wearing any. Surely you can at least find a couple of outfits that you can wear around the house just for him.

Visual Humility:
I should have said, “humiliation.” If you have not made a list of chores for your chastity boy to perform, either daily or weekly, you need to do that. What is the point of having his genitals all locked up if you don't reap the benefits? He should not only do these chores without complaint, he should do them in the nude, or, perhaps, wearing a pair of woman's panties, or a maid's outfit. This is a perfect chance to, not only get some work done (so you don't have to), but add a little humiliation along with it. I don't know how many times a man in chastity has told me that he was just not into cross dressing only to recant after I made him dress up for me. Just because your partner says he isn't into some aspect of sexual activity, it doesn't mean that he won't like it once he has been ordered, by the woman of his dreams, to do it. Yes, YOU are the woman of his dreams. If you aren't, then you have NOT been practicing what I have been teaching you.

Audio Arousal:
Now let's talk about talking. Things you whisper in your man's ear can do as much to heighten his state of arousal as the dress you wear. If you want to keep him aroused, there are literally thousands of things you can say to him that will get his motor running. You can use text messages as well. Or call him and leave a voice mail. Use your sexiest, softest voice to tell him what you want him to do to you when he gets home from work (or when you do). He will think about that for hours and definitely during his commute home.

Here is a little tip for you women. I know how it is, you drop hints all the time, but they just never seem to get the message. WE LIKE ROMANCE! So make him a list of things he can do that will make you feel like he cares about you. Romantic things. Do you like getting balloon bouquets while you are at work? Would you prefer to have flowers delivered or would you prefer that he deliver them himself. Want to be invited out to the movies? Or maybe dinner? How about both? Whatever it is that you like, put it on the list. Even if it is just a full body massage every night. Then it is on him to do something romantic every week or risk losing an opportunity to have nice orgasm. As a KeyHolder, you hold so much power over him when it comes to his sexual release, it is not even funny.

I know this sounds a great deal like a female led relationship, but it really doesn't have to be. You may have only agreed to “hold the keys” to his chastity device, but with that comes immense power. Let's step back for a moment and discuss what it really means to be a KeyHolder.

The question you should ask yourself is, “What does he really want?” Unless you are really lucky, he won't tell you. Not because he is embarrassed, or feels humiliated, or because he thinks you should know. The reason is, he doesn't know himself. But I do. And I will be happy to explain it to you.

Most men who want their wives to be their KeyHolder, don't want what they “pretend” to want. Okay, let's look at some of the captioned chastity photos out there. They explain it very well. He wants you to tease him so that he will beg you for an orgasm. He wants you to deny him an orgasm, or at least ruin or stifle any orgasms you allow him to have. He wants you to be “mean” to him. That translates into two things. 1) Deny him an orgasm until you think he really can't take it any more; and 2) he wants you to make him do things that will humiliate him. I know how stupid that sounds, but it is the truth. He doesn't want to have orgasms, but he wants you to control when he can.

Let's face it, he could deny himself an orgasm any time, and for as long as he wants. But that doesn't give him the thrill of hearing his favorite woman tell him, “No!” He wants you to hold his orgasms for ransom. That is, make him do embarrassing things in order to gain your favor so you will dangle an orgasm (like the proverbial carrot) in front of him. He doesn't want to never ejaculate again. He just wants you to pretend like that is a possibility.

Here is an example of something he might do. He might act like he doesn't want to perform fellatio on an another man, but deep down inside, he may really want you to make it happen, or at least make him think it might happen. On the other hand, he may hint and hint that you should bring in another man and make him watch while you and this “bull” have wild sex together. The truth may be that he could not handle it and he really just wants you to taunt him with the possibility. But then, again, who knows, maybe he secretly wants that. Men are hard to read when it comes to certain activities. You have to watch their reactions to things very carefully. And if all else fails, have a serious talk with him about it.

Don't believe me? Try this little experiment. Ask him if he would enjoy dressing up as woman. If he says, “No,” then send him to a boutique and have him purchase a pair of panties just for himself. If he does it, he secretly wants you to make him wear them. Putting him a dress is just few short steps away. Granted, cross dressing is a fairly common fantasy that men have. So he may just love the idea. If he does, then you have some really great ways of humiliating him in the near future.

Cuckolding is a much more rare desire in men. But they may actually love the thought of it. If you want to know if this is the case with your partner, simply tell him that you have been thinking about it and would like to try it. If he doesn't tell you that he would divorce you for it, pretend that you have plans to actually do it. You can keep it as a “living fantasy” if you like, without ever actually doing it. There are many such fantasies with which you can do this. Keep the fantasy alive by repeating it enough times and he will begin to believe you are really going to follow through with it (even if you have no intention of doing so).

Let's look at one other situation you may run into. At dinner one night, you quietly mention that you have been thinking of cuckolding him. If he reacts by heartily agreeing that he thinks that would be wonderful, yet you feel that you could NEVER do such a thing. Make it a fantasy. Go out with your girlfriends one night but tell him a great story of how you went to some motel with a guy you met last month. If he seems to enjoy that, keep doing it. You don't have to have sex with another man, but he won't know. You can tease him with it.

I know of one woman who carried the fantasy so far that she actually bought one of those life-like baby dolls. She made her husband take care of it as if it was real. He had to change it's diapers, feed it, carry it everywhere he went. She had gone so far as to buy a black baby even though the couple was white. She had her husband believing that she intended for her “lover” to get her pregnant and he was going to have to take care of the baby. The fact is, this woman never had a lover. She did not cuckold him. She was not planning to get pregnant. But her husband, who loved the idea of being a cuckold, was happy with the the mere thought of it. I don't know how it all turned out, but I am sure she eventually told him what she had been doing. But it just goes to show that you can make your husband believe whatever you want if you are willing do what it takes to please him.

Don't do anything that you are not be comfortable doing. There are enough ideas right here in this handbook to keep him busy. Pushing his limits is something that you should focus on. In other words, start him off doing the housework while naked. Later add a pair of panties. After a few weeks, or months of that, add a frilly apron or even a whole maids outfit. You can progress like that with any of the humiliations that you put him through. Take it only as far as you want. Keep it fun. The moment it is no longer fun for either one of you, then stop, or cut back on it.

Bearing in mind that your partner wants you to control his orgasms, and that what he really wants is for you to make them few and far between, some women find it easier to play games of chance in order to determine if and when her partner actually gets an orgasm. Since I went into some detail in
How To Set Up An FLR
I won't go into details here. But if you want to offer your partner some “Hope” you an play a game. Just be sure the odds are against him. He will appreciate it.

~ ~ ~

Chapter 7 – Web Teasing

“Okay. You enjoy masturbating so much,
do it for me. Do it now! Come on.
I'll give you a whole minute to ejaculate. Go!”

We have talked about using the Internet (the Web) to some extent, but did you know there are many ways in which to utilize the Internet to tease your partner? Well, I want to tell you about some of the more interesting ones, now.

The easiest way to use the Internet is to assign your partner tasks. I do this with many of the men for whom I hold keys long distance. First of all, you have to realize that as long as he is wearing a chastity device, whether it is a simple penis cage or a full blown chastity belt with all the bells and whistles, he can not masturbate. He can, however, get aroused. And that is what your goal should be, to keep him aroused as much of the time as possible.

Bearing that in mind, you need to do a little research. Some of the research can actually be assigned to your partner while some you will be doing yourself. You need to locate some of the adult video websites. There are a number of them out there and a search, using your favorite search engine will bring up a number from which to choose. Most of these websites list their videos with a viewer rating and the length of each video. Many of them are free to use.

Your research is has two purposes: 1) To find some adult video websites that you and your partner can use and; 2) To discover what kinds of things can be used to arouse your partner. In order to accomplish this second part you need to assign tasks. These tasks could be that he watch a specific video to see if, or how much, he is turned on by the subject matter. Or you can assign the task of having your partner find some videos that he likes.

I strongly suggest that you use the websites own search function to locate videos of a specific type. It may be “ruined orgasms” or “tease & denial” or anything that you can think of that might fill your needs. For example, let us suppose you want to see how your partner would react to forced bi-sexuality. You would look for a number of videos, at least five minutes in length, for your partner to watch. Then you tell him to send you an email explaining how the video effected him. Was he turned on by what he saw? Did he get physically aroused? Was it because of the people in the video or because of the subject matter? These are questions you need answered.

You can use the information to determine a good course of action in your tease and denial sessions. That is, do you want to use it to help turn him on during a tease session or maybe to guide his own fantasies in that particular direction? If so, you might say things like, “How would you like it if I made you do something like that guy in the video was forced to do?” His answer, whether positive or not, can give you an idea or two about how to tease him with it.

Maybe you have him watch a ten minute video about a man being teased while dressed as a woman. If it aroused your partner sufficiently, you can say things to him such as, “I would love to dress you up like that guy and tease you the way his Mistress did.” Or maybe you would say, “I have been thinking about dressing you up like a woman and take you out to dinner.” Just your comments alone, can be very arousing to him. It all depends on what aspect of the video turned him on. By assigning him specific videos (or a specific subject) to watch, you can learn so much about what turns him on and what you can use as a humiliation, either verbal or physical.

I have actually had men tell me that they didn't like watching a bunch of men having orgasms in a video. Yet, after watching a 60 minute video of nothing but that, they report back that they were aroused during the entire video because they, themselves, could not do what they were watching. Sometimes a certain video's subject matter may not arouse him. That is, until you order him to watch it and report on it. Just the mere fact that you made him watch it, could be enough to make it exciting.