A Part of Me (3 page)

I situated the small roll out bed and walked over to where Tom still lay unconscious.  The only sounds in the room were the beeping of the monitors and the sound of the ventilator that continued to push air into Tom’s lungs.

His beautiful face was swollen and bruised.  Days of growth covered his chin.  There were speckled cuts across his cheeks and neck where the glass had hit him.  His head had a bandage on the left side where they stitched up a large gash.  His dark hair peeked out from under the white bandages. His left arm was in a cast from just below his elbow with an external fixation device to stabilize the bones. 

I gently lifted up the blanket covering his legs and sucked in air when I saw the stump on his left leg.  They had removed the mangled portion right below the knee joint.  It was wrapped and clean.  I know they were worried about infection.  It was another reason I didn’t want to leave him.  I trusted the staff of nurses and doctors immensely, but I still felt like I needed to see him—to watch over him myself.

Tom and I had become good friends over the past weeks.  I truly enjoyed spending time with him, so much so, that I couldn’t remember the last date I’d been on.  Whenever we all went out, Tom and I paired off to dance.  I had become so comfortable with him.  Actually more than that.  I liked him…a lot.

Tom wasn’t like the guys I usually dated.  Physically he was amazing, but it was who he was as a person that was different.  He was so kind and thoughtful.  Always doing little things for those around him.  He always made sure I had a drink or was comfortable.  He appreciated my sarcasm, and he always seemed to be looking out for me.  Hell, he even punched out Ava’s ex boyfriend Kyle for calling me a bitch. I have to admit, that was awesome. But in the end, we were just friends.  He had never taken it further and even though I was interested in him, I didn’t want to ruin the friendship we had developed. 

“Oh Tom.”  I ran my hand over his leg before I covered it back up. “You need to pull through this, okay?”  I lifted his cold hand and kissed it before tucking it back under the blanket.  I looked over the readings on the machines before settling down on the bed and trying to get some sleep.  I was going to work a half shift in the morning and then take a nap before pulling a full shift at night.  I wanted to be close, and by working, I would be available to run up here should anything change.  Ava and the guys were going to come by after work and stay through the evening.  Most likely I would be the only one sleeping here during the day, but it was just how it needed to be.

“Goodnight Tom.”  I whispered before turning over and letting sleep consume me.

Chapter 4

Tom

I could hear muffled sounds, like I was wearing ear muffs.  There was a strange smell—cleaner maybe?  My eyes were so heavy.  So very heavy—I couldn’t seem to open them.  I tried to turn my head, but it felt like it weighed a ton.

The pain.  Wow, I hurt—
bad
.  It was almost like a burning down my legs—like they were on fire.  I couldn’t lift my arms or my legs, and I was so damn tired. I finally just let the fogginess consume me.

***

Voices.  I could hear them, but it didn’t seem like they were talking to me.  I wiggled my fingers. I tried to swallow, but it felt like my throat was on fire.  I blinked my eyes open.  The lights were so bright.  My eyes almost hurt from the light.

I turned my head to the right, continuing to blink—trying to focus. The blonde hair reflected the sunlight coming through the window. Talia?  She looked beautiful standing there at the window.  She looked like an angel.  I wanted to call to her but I couldn’t find my voice so I reached for her instead. The second she turned around and locked eyes on me, I felt a peace come over me. Her crystal blue eyes captivated me, sending warmth through my body.  I heard her gasp.

“Tom?”  She rushed over, taking my out reached hand into hers.  “Tom, you had a breathing tube in your throat.  I know it probably feels sore, but just try to relax, okay?”  She reached over me and grabbed the bed remote.

“Yes?” a voice sounded through it.

“Tom is awake.”  Talia responded before setting it back down and running her fingers over my forehead. I focused on her eyes, trying to make sense of what was going on.

It was almost like she read my mind. “Tom, you are in the hospital.  You where in a car accident.  Don’t be scared.  Everything is going to be fine.”  Her voice was like balm to my wounds.  I wasn’t sure if this was a dream, but either way, she was my angel right now.  The one thing that was keeping me calm.  Her warm touch.  Her calm voice.  All her.

I knew there were others in the room, but I didn’t want to look away from Talia.  I gripped her hand so tightly—afraid they would make me let go of her.

“Tom, my name is Dr. Burk.  I’m going to examine you.  Try to relax, okay?” 

 “I’m going to let go of your hand to call Trevor and Nick, okay?”  I nodded again and watched her walk over to the window.  I didn’t want her to leave me, but I did my best to focus on the doctor, knowing that she wouldn’t be far.

“He’s awake.”  I heard her say into the phone and then hang up, walking back over to my side as the doctor continued to check me out.

“Tom?  Do you know where you are?”  Dr. Burk asked. 

I nodded.  “Hospital.” I managed to croak out through my burning throat.

“Good. Do you remember what happened?”  He asked, watching me closely as he took out his pen light, shining it in my eyes.

Did I?  I remembered leaving soccer practice to go home. Things were so fuzzy.  I closed my eyes, trying to make sense of it all. 
Shit!
A van hit me. “Accident?” It sounded more like a question than an answer.

“Good.”  He smiled.  “Do you remember this woman?”  He pointed to Talia. She stood over me quietly waiting for my answer.  Of course I remembered her.  She had become someone I really cared for in the short time that I’d known her.  I don’t know exactly what happened to me, but the idea that she was here made my heart swell.

I smiled weakly. “She’s my angel, Talia.”

She giggled and I noticed her wipe a tear from the corner of her eye. “Wow Tom, maybe you hit your head harder than we thought.  I don’t think I’ve ever been referred to as an angel.”  I smiled.  She really was beautiful.

The doctor finished his checks and told us he would be back.  Before I could say anything to Talia, Trevor, Ava and Nick came barreling through the door.

“Is he going to be okay?”  Trevor asked Talia as he stood over me, still not looking at me.

“
He
is awake you know.”  I said in my hoarse voice. Trevor looked at me for a few seconds before breaking out into a huge grin.

“Holy shit Tom!  You scared us you bastard. 
Please
, for God’s sake, don’t ever do this shit again.” Trevor looked at me, and I could see the relief in his eyes. I looked over at Nick who was smiling too. They both looked so tired.  They had dark circles under their eyes and their faces were pale.

“I don’t mean any harm, but you all look like shit.”  I said in all seriousness. They all gaped at me for a moment before erupting in laughter. I started to laugh too, but quickly realized that it hurt like crazy. What the hell happened to my stomach?

“Are you in pain Tom?’  Talia stepped closer, watching my face with concern.

“Yeah, a little bit.”  I tried to smile, but it felt almost forced. I took a look at myself for the first time. 
Holy shit!
My left arm was in a cast and had some type of metal contraption attached to it through the plaster.  I reached up and felt my head where it hurt, noticing the soft gauze bandage that was taped to the side of my head.  I wasn’t sure what was wrong with my stomach, but it felt like my insides were being stretched every time I took a deep breath. “What happened to me?”  I asked, looking at my friends for answers.

“Tom, you were in a car accident.  It was pretty bad man.”  Trevor pulled a chair up next to the bed. “Talia was in the ER when they brought you in.” 

I looked over to Talia and my heart broke when I saw her face.  Whatever had happened had not been easy for her.  It was obvious.  “It was bad Tom. You didn’t even look like yourself.  I didn’t recognize you.”  She looked away. 

“Shit.”  I mumbled, reaching for her hand and tucking it inside mine.  I didn’t know what to say to that.

“You had your spleen removed because it was lacerated and bleeding, so you have an incision on your stomach.”  Trevor continued.  “Obviously, you arm is broken.  You had a collapsed lung, and Tom…”  He paused and looked at every one in the room before looking back to me.  They all walked next to the bed, and immediately I got nervous.  “Tom, your left leg was hurt pretty bad.  It kills me to tell you this buddy, but they couldn’t save it.” 

I didn’t understand.  I could feel my legs.  They were there.  They were burning. “I don’t understand.  I feel them.” 

Talia took my hand. “Tom, that isn’t unusual.  A lot of people have what is called phantom limb.  You might feel itching, pain or burning.  I don’t know why, I just know it happens.” 

I shook my head. This was so weird.  “It feels like it’s there.  Is my whole leg gone?”  I asked, trying to see the outline of my legs under the covers.

“No, just below the knee on your left leg.”  Talia squeezed my hand.

“Okay.”  I wasn’t sure what else to say about it.  “Who are the balloons and flowers from?”  I looked around the room at all of the cards, flowers and balloons.

Nick smiled. “It appears you’re actually liked at that school of yours. Go figure. Although, I think it probably has something to do with the fact that you teach sex ed.”  He winked. 

I smiled back, shaking my head. “They are all from school?”  Wow, I was amazed at the amount of cards and flowers that were there.

“Yes, teachers, students, your soccer team.  They all love and miss you.”  Ava rubbed my shoulder.

“Miss me?  How long have I been here?” I couldn’t imagine that it had been too long.

“Six days Tom.”  Trevor answered.

“Really?”  I asked, having trouble believing that.

“Yes, really.  Quite frankly Tom, you had us all climbing the walls.”  Tom shook his head.  I don’t remember ever seeing him this out of sorts.  He looked like he’d aged ten years.

“I’m sorry guys.”  I whispered.

“Tom, we’re just happy you’re okay.”  Talia grabbed my hand and squeezed it.  Her touch made me warm. “I’m sorry to leave, but I need to get downstairs for my shift.” 

“No time for a sponge bath Talia?”  Nick wiggled his eyebrows at her.

“Be nice to me Nick, I may be
your
nurse one day.  Needles and catheters come in sizes that I choose!”  Talia countered.  Nick’s jaw dropped at the thought.  If I didn’t know it would hurt so badly, I would have laughed.

“Tom, you need to get some rest.  Push the red button right here for your pain medicine.  You look like you need it.”  She handed me a little remote with a button on it.

I did just that, feeling almost immediately the warmth of the medication coursing through my veins. My eyes were beginning to droop.  “Thank you my angel.”  I whispered before letting the medicine take me under.

Chapter 5

Talia

Two weeks.  That is how long Tom was in the hospital after his accident.  I was completely amazed at how well he was doing.  He was still in pain, but it was getting better every day.

We had just gotten him settled in his apartment and he was sleeping.  He had his stitches removed from his head and the staples from his stomach before we left the hospital.  So far he had been able to avoid any type of infection, and he was dealing surprisingly well with the fact that he had a portion of his leg amputated.  So well that it worried me, almost like he was in denial.

Trevor, Nick, Ava and I were sitting in Tom’s living room trying to figure out how we were going to take care of him.  With our schedules, it was going to be tough to have someone around all the time.  Tom seemed to think he’d be fine, but I don’t think any of us wanted to take that chance.

Ava brought over a plate of cookies that someone had dropped by, and we decided to have a much needed sugar pick me up.

“Well shit! Nothing is more disappointing than when your cookie won't fit in your glass of milk.”  Nick shook his head as he tried to dip his cookie in his glass.

“Seriously Nick? There you go again, opening your mouth and letting the stupid come pouring out.” I shook my head and laughed at his mock-hurt expression.  Sometimes I really wondered about him.  If common sense was money, Nick couldn’t even afford a free lunch.

As I was reaching for a cookie of my own, we heard a huge crash come from the bedroom. Every one of us jumped and ran toward the noise.

Upon entering Tom’s room, we saw him lying on the floor next to his bed, trying to get up using his one good leg and arm on the right side.

“What the hell happened?”  Trevor and Nick went over and lent him a hand, pulling him up gently and getting him back in bed.  It Tom’s face flushed red, obviously embarrassed by us all standing there over him.

“It was so weird.  I could have sworn it was still there.  Shit!”  Tom shook his head. “What the fuck is wrong with me?”

“It’s fine Tom.  You’ve been through a lot of shit in a short amount of time.  There’s nothing wrong with you.”  Nick reassured him.

“Whatever.”  Tom waved his hand. “I need to go to damn the bathroom.” He barked.  He was annoyed and embarrassed. 

I motioned for Ava to follow me. We stepped back into the living room, leaving the guys to handle the situation. “Holy shit Talia, is this normal?”  Ava whispered when we got far enough away.

“Shit Ava, I don’t know.” I needed to do something.  I had made up my mind and needed to see if I could get things to work. “I need to run a couple of errands.  Please tell the guys I’ll be back as soon as I can.”  I gave her a hug and headed out.

***

“Are you sure you want to do this?” My nursing director looked at me from across the desk.