A Very Crimson Christmas (Crimson, Colorado 4) (13 page)

He pulled off the sweater he wore and folded it on his lap. The white T-shirt underneath revealed his wide shoulders and the muscles in his arms. His skin glistened a little from the steam. Natalie realized he was still the most beautiful man she’d ever seen. “You’re welcome.”

They sat together in a silence more companionable than awkward. Natalie felt her equilibrium—some sense of it—returning. There was so much she wanted to say but was afraid if she tried now the words would get jumbled and she’d make a mess of it, the way she had with so many things involving this man.

When Liam had shown up in Crimson years ago, she’d pinned all her hopes on him. He was like a shiny penny, “Calgon, take me away,” and her deepest, secret desires all rolled into one slightly aloof and slightly belligerent package. She hated to admit it, but she’d wanted him to rescue her, whisk her away to a happy-ever-after future—the details of which always stayed slightly out of focus.

The accident that killed Beth Travers changed him, made him sharper and no longer such a safe bet. Natalie hadn’t been able to see him through that. She hadn’t been brave enough to share her fears, so they’d grown and multiplied until they ruined the two of them.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered when the bubbles began to evaporate. Using the toe of one foot, she turned the faucet knob to add more hot water to the bath.

“Don’t apologize for being human.” Liam bent next to the bathtub, using one finger to peel a strand of wet hair away from her cheek and tuck it behind her ear. “It happens to the best of us.” He tipped up her chin so she would look at him, his gaze holding none of the judgment she felt she deserved.

She nodded, gratitude for his understanding unfurling like a blanket inside of her. Natalie had always forced herself to be strong in front of other people, even her closest friends. If she showed them her weaknesses, exposed her fears, they might think she was like her mother. Liam had seen the worst in her tonight, but he didn’t seem bothered by it the way she expected.

“Do you want to talk about what happened with your mom?”

She shook her head, relieved when Liam didn’t argue.

“I’m going to check on Ruth and Austin, then finish dinner. Do you feel up to joining us?”

“I’ll be down in a few minutes.”

He pressed a gentle kiss to her mouth and left, leaving her with only the sound of the water as she leaned forward, stretched her tight muscles. As quickly as the emotional upheaval had started, it was over. She was finished, ready to return to real life. She needed the familiar pattern of routine to fully right her.

So she climbed out, drained the bath and got dressed. She couldn’t manage more than her coziest pajamas but didn’t figure anyone in the house would care. As soon as she walked down the steps and saw Austin at the kitchen table, bent over his homework, she returned fully to herself. The problems were still there—her mother’s increasingly erratic behavior, her scumbag ex-husband, decades of decisions based on unfounded fear. But she had her son, and she would wade through the rest to make sure he had the life he deserved.

Her steps faltered as Liam, unaware she was there, came up behind Austin, put his hand on the boy’s shoulders and leaned forward to explain a math problem to him. The breath got caught in her throat as her heart beat out a message that said,
Yes, that. Right there. Our future is right there.

She didn’t bother to deny it. The only question was how to make sure it would happen.

Chapter Fourteen

L
iam blew out a relieved breath when Natalie finally came down the steps. She’d scared the hell out of him earlier.

He understood that she was overdue for losing it a little and guessed it had been years in the making. A person could only hold themselves that tight for so long before the coil of their life became razor thin then snapped.

What surprised him was that he wanted to be there during the break, to support her however she needed him to until she was back on two feet again and even after. The normalcy of making dinner, even pasta and store-bought sauce, of helping Austin with his homework, soothed the restless part of Liam. Usually when things got tough, he took off and let Tanner do the cleanup. He’d start another venture, set up meetings, meet so-called friends in far-flung vacation destinations—anything to keep himself from getting in too deep.

But that need to move on had shifted, which was part of the reason that where LifeMap was headquartered had become so important to him. For the first time in his life, Liam wanted a home base. He hadn’t really considered Crimson as a candidate for that base. There were too many emotional land mines for him in this town. But tonight made him rethink that in a serious way. He liked being the person Natalie leaned on, the man who could be someone else’s true north. He wanted to be that guy and she finally seemed willing to let him try.

After dinner, he texted Tanner to schedule another meeting with the town council. The next couple of days he spent with Jase, touring the area with a commercial Realtor, meeting with local business owners and representatives from the school district. He had to admit the town did its best to roll out the red carpet and made a good case for why Crimson would be the right fit for LifeMap.

Liam had all but signed on the dotted line in Vermont, so he quickly put those plans on hold until he could determine what he wanted for his future. Whatever it was, he was certain it involved Natalie.

Several times in the days following her afternoon in the snow, she’d started to open up to him, but something always stopped her. He wished he knew what it was, why she couldn’t quite trust him enough. He wondered if it would make a difference if he shared his doubts about staying in Crimson. Had people in town truly forgotten about his past here, or were they just willing to overlook it because of the potential LifeMap had to help the local economy? He hated the legacy of abandonment he’d inherited from his parents. It was hard for him to believe that he wouldn’t be rejected by anyone, any place that mattered to him, which made the thought of staying in town all the more daunting.

As he drove Natalie and Austin toward downtown and the winter carnival Saturday morning, she reached across the front seat and took his hand in hers, rubbing her thumb across his knuckles. Austin sat in the backseat with his headphones on, oblivious to anything but the game he was playing on his iPad.

“Thank you for coming in early with me to help set up.” Natalie rolled her head along the back of the seat and smiled at him.

“I’m happy to be with you.” He lifted her hand to his mouth and pressed a kiss to the inside of her wrist. “Olivia told me that the arts and crafts fair is juried. You had to submit pieces and be selected by the Winterfest board. That’s quite an accomplishment.”

She dismissed the compliment with a wave of her hand. “Olivia is on the board so that helps.”

“I’ve seen how hard you work, Nat. Your jewelry is exceptionally crafted. You should own your talent.”

She tugged at her hand, making him smile. Things were never easy with Natalie, which made it feel like an even bigger accomplishment when she let him in.

“I’m trying,” she said after a moment. “Being in the art fair is the first step. It’s the first time I’ve sold my own pieces, been in front of potential customers. Normally I give everything to Olivia to sell at the gift shop that’s part of the community center. I like the anonymity.” She took a shuddering breath. “What if everyone walks right by me today?”

“Not going to happen,” he answered immediately.

“You sound so sure,” she whispered.

“I’m sure of you.”

Biting down on her lip, she turned her head to look out the window of the SUV. “Liam, I need to tell you...” She paused, cleared her throat. “I want you to understand...” Now she did pull her hand away, tucked both of hers between her knees.

“What, Natalie? What do you want me to understand?” He gripped the steering wheel as he waited for her answer.

The rosy pink of her lip turned white as she sunk her teeth into it. “I want you to know, know...how much I appreciate your support,” she said on a rush of breath.

No. Let me in
, he wanted to roar.

“Of course, sweetheart.” He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. “That’s what I’m here for.”

She turned to look at him. Her face was flushed, her dark eyes shining. Suddenly it didn’t matter how much she was holding back. He was willing to take whatever emotions she would give him, even if they were scraps of the truth.

He parked the car on one of the side streets near the community center where the arts and crafts fair would be held. Winterfest was a full day of activities including ice sculptures, skating on the rink at the center of town and the craft fair. Then as the sun went down, everyone would gather for the lighting of the Crimson Christmas tree on the town square. Downtown was already full of festive holiday lights, but traditionally the huge Douglas fir designated as the official town tree was saved until right before before Christmas.

Because none of the activities had started, only volunteers and vendors filled the streets. He and Austin unloaded the trunk that held her jewelry out of the back of the SUV, while Natalie went ahead to check in with the art fair organizers. It was hard to believe that all the time and energy she’d put in over the past few weeks could fit into one medium-size suitcase. Then again, jewelry was small and light. She also had display stands and things to decorate her table. As they walked toward the community center, a number of people waved hello and several stopped them to talk. The community center’s main room was filled with rows of tables.

He expected a barrage of questions about his plans for LifeMap but was asked about Ruth and his plans for Christmas instead. He saw Jase and another man he remembered from high school, Noah Crawford, who invited him to go backcountry skiing outside of Aspen over New Year’s weekend. He told them he’d check his calendar but realized it was something he’d like to do. Other than Tanner, he didn’t have anyone he’d consider a real friend. Again the inability to let anyone get too close had caused him to keep the people he met at arm’s length. It was about time for that to change.

“I see Mom,” Austin said, running ahead.

Natalie was in the aisle, talking to a younger guy who stood behind a nearby table filled with bowls carved out of wood. He leaned forward, touched her on the arm. She smiled, and Liam had a sudden urge to buy every ugly bowl on the table just so Natalie didn’t spend the day next to another man.

“Looks good in here,” he said, walking up to her and planting a kiss on her mouth.

Her eyes widened and she pulled back, glancing at Austin who was engrossed in the stained glass kaleidoscopes being sold by the vendor across the aisle from Natalie. The man she’d been talking to backed away, rearranging his display before beginning a conversation with the artist stationed next to him on the other side.

Natalie gave Liam’s chest a gentle poke through his down coat. “I think you just marked me.”

“Maybe,” he admitted. “Does that bother you?”

Pink colored her cheeks and her mouth curved into a smile. “It’s weird, but I kind of like it.”

“I like you.” He bent and kissed her again, this one more a pledge than a possession.
Coward
, a voice inside said.
Tell her you love her.
Later, he thought. Maybe tonight. The idea of saying the words out loud made his breath hitch. “Let’s get you set up now. I want to make sure there’s nothing else you need before the fair starts.”

“I can handle things in here if you want to walk around or visit any businesses. I’m sure you’ve got more important things to do than be my assistant for the morning.”

“All day,” he clarified. “I’m your official assistant as long as you need me today. This is where I want to be, Nat. I promise.”

* * *

True to his word, Liam stayed by her side as the art fair portion of Winterfest opened. It was a beautiful day, cold but clear with the bluebird sky famous in the mountains of Colorado. That helped the event to draw in crowds of shoppers, many looking to finish their last-minute Christmas shopping.

Natalie had a steady stream of people at her booth. Not just her friends as she’d expected, although Olivia and Millie stopped by and Katie gave out muffins to everyone around Natalie’s table. Two women who’d driven over from Aspen sought her out. They told her they’d bought her bracelets from the gift shop the year before and gotten so many compliments on them where they lived in Dallas that they came to the show specifically to meet her. One of the women handed her a card and said she owned a boutique in the trendy Uptown neighborhood of Dallas and would love to carry a selection of Natalie’s pieces in her store.

Natalie was so blown away she didn’t know how to answer, which is where Liam came in handy. He easily steered the conversation to customer base, timelines and a potential first order. He took the woman’s card, tucked it in the pocket of Natalie’s jeans as the women walked away.

“Good thing one of us knows something about the business end of this.” She slipped her hand into her pocket, feeling the smooth edge of the card, wondering if her luck could really be turning around. If she grew her jewelry business, she could pay off her debt more quickly and start saving again. A concept that made happy tears prick at the back of her eyes.

“I need to stay useful so you’ll keep me around.” Liam said the words lightly, but there was something in his voice that made her wonder if he really believed that. Although he didn’t talk about it, she knew how much it must have hurt to have his parents ship him off when he’d gotten too wild. She couldn’t imagine sending Austin away, no matter what twists and turns his behavior took.

“Mom, I’m hungry.” As if she’d summoned him, her son came to stand at her side.

“I love you, sweetie,” she said, wrapping her arms around him.

He squirmed away like the boy he was. “I know, Mom. Can you give me money for lunch? They’ve got food trucks set up around the square.”

Natalie hesitated, glancing up and down the aisle to look for one of her friends. “Let me find someone to walk with you.” Her mother’s comments about Brad coming back to town echoed in her mind. Not that she expected her ex-husband to do something funny with Austin, but she wasn’t going to take any chances.

“I’ll go with him.” Liam glanced up from his phone. Tanner had stopped by the booth a half hour earlier and told Liam there were some emails he’d forwarded that needed responses right away. Natalie expected Liam to use work as an excuse to leave, but he’d pulled up a chair and stayed with her instead.

“It’s okay,” she said automatically. “I know you have work.”

“The emails will wait.” He stood, ruffling Austin’s hair. “Let’s get some food. We’ll bring something back for your mom, too.”

Austin nodded, as if it was perfectly normal. “The Mexican restaurant has a food truck. She likes tacos.”

Liam glanced at Natalie. “Tacos sound good?”

All she could do was smile and nod, then watch them walk away. It was silly, she knew, but the idea that she wasn’t alone, didn’t have to handle everything, even for one day, was overwhelming in its relief.

“Your husband is a good dad.”

Startled, she glanced at the older couple standing in front of her table. Arms linked, the woman studied her jewelry while the man looked at Natalie.

“He’s not,” she stammered. “That isn’t my husband.”

The man shrugged, almost reluctantly letting go of his wife’s hand as she held a pair of earrings up to the light. “Well, you can tell he cares about the boy. We raised four sons.”

“Heaven help me,” the woman muttered.

“They were a handful,” the man agreed. “But all of them turned out okay.”

“Because they had you as a role model,” his wife added. She held out the earrings to Natalie. “I’m going to get these for my daughter-in-law. She’s pregnant with our first grandbaby.”

“Congratulations,” Natalie said, clearing her throat when her voice caught. She rang up the purchase, wrapped the earrings and watched the couple walk away.

Austin needed more good men in his life. Her friends’ husbands were there for support, but it wasn’t enough. She’d tried to be everything for her son, but there were just some things she couldn’t manage. The fact that Liam seemed both willing to step into the role and so natural at it made her heart expand even more.

The rest of the day passed in a blur of friendship and activity. The crowd at the craft fair waned over lunch then surged again in the early afternoon. An hour before the fair was set to close, Natalie sold her last bracelet.

All her friends had stopped by, which almost made up for the fact that her mother hadn’t come to see her. She hadn’t really expected it. Trudy hated crowds, especially when they were filled with tourists and nonlocals. But hope was like an early spring crocus high in the mountains, blooming at the first sign of warmth and sunlight only to be buried by another snowfall.

Would she ever stop wanting her mom’s approval? This was one more lesson she tucked away in her imaginary mother’s playbook. She would make sure Austin never doubted her love and pride in him for whatever path he took. Even if it left her shaking with fear, she would support him. Even if it meant overcoming her own fear and heading to the ocean so he could ride the waves and feel the sand between his toes.

She’d made close to a thousand dollars today. Instead of using the money for her debts, she was going to look for plane tickets someplace warm for spring break. The thought made her giddy with nerves and excitement.